Just When Everything Seemed Fine The exams were just around the corner, when my mom came up with brilliant news. She had a conference, and she was planning to take us, me and my two brothers, with her. I felt happiness fill every part of me. At last we were going to have some fun. All of us, me and my brothers, were excited. We started planning what we were going to do, and how we were going to spend our money. The exams passed very quickly, and I put the trip aside. I didn’t want to disrupt my studies. I just studied my head off, and luckily all the exams were dead easy. The last day of the exams was when the ‘excitement’ came back. I started packing my stuff, and deciding which clothes to take, and which not. My father called and told us he’d give us a large sum of money, which only added to the excitement. Thursday, the day when we were supposed to leave, came quickly. I had already finished packing, and the same for my brothers. I went to the saloon and got myself pampered, after all I wanted to look great. When I finally got home, I examined myself in the mirror with a gleaming smile. This is going to be great, I thought. We were supposed to leave the house at ten o’clock. It was eight o’clock when I decided to go sort out my back-pack. On the way, I took a peak in my mothers room. She was not there. I remembered she had said something about going out earlier, to get something from my aunts house. Just as I was about to turn around, a horrible thought crept up to my head. There was no suit case in my mothers room. I stepped into the room and looked on the other side of the bed. There I saw the huge suitcase open, and empty. I blinked my eyes, shocked. We still have two hours, I thought, trying to cheer myself up. I hurried down to the phone, and dialed my mothers number. It rang once, twice and… ”Hello?” My mom said in a weak voice. ”Mom, where are you?” I asked, failing to cover up the annoyance. ”I’m at your Aunts house” She said, barely a whisper. ”But you’re supposed to be here!” I said, my voice higher “You didn’t even pack your stuff” ”I’m tired” She said. ”But…” I kept quiet for a moment, my lower lip quivering. ”Don’t worry I’ll be there” She said, reassuringly. I hang up, feeling slightly better. I hurried off to my room and started packing some stuff into my back pack. A book, CD player and some other stuff. Everything is going to be fine, I thought, a smile finding its way back to my lips. My mother was very late. Very late. She arrived a little earlier than ten, and complained about how tired she was. I swallowed, and told her I’d help her pack. It was a quick process. Her, pointing at the clothes and I, throwing them in the suitcase. We were ready at ten twenty. I ran my hand through my smooth hair, and sighed. Finally, everything was ready and we were ready to take off. My aunt arrived to take us to the airport. She hurried all the way, so that we wouldn’t be late. We arrived there at ten forty, and it was crowded. We pulled our luggage, and hurried to the check in desk. ”Yusra, I don’t think I can go through it all…” I heard my mother telling her sister. ”Come on, relax” My aunt said, in a calm manner. I handed the guy behind the desk, our passports and tickets. He started typing into the computer, and I waited impatiently. My mother sat down on one of the large suitcases, her face so pale. What if we don’t go? I thought. The thought sent shivers down my back. No, I reassured myself, we’re going. I had told everyone about the trip, and when we were going. In fact I had phoned everyone to say good bye. It had felt so good. And now, I couldn’t bare the though of not leaving. ”No, I can’t” My mother said, through clenched teeth. ”W-what?” I asked, not sure I had heard her. ”Hanan, I am very tired” My mother explained, in her kindest way “… I can’t go tonight. I’m exhausted and I don’t think I’ll be able to cope with this trip” I stood in my spot, my mouth in a perfect O shape. This couldn’t be happening. No, I was dreaming. I swallowed and tried to think of the right words to say. What was I supposed to say anyway? I thought. I had to convince her to go. ”Mom, you’ll be alright. We’re with you” I said, pointing to my brother and myself. She looked doubtfully, “No Hanan. What if I drop?” ”Drop?” I said, nearly sarcastically. What did she mean? She couldn’t actually drop because of this tiredness of hers. No she couldn’t. I listened to my own thoughts, and realized I was being selfish . But it wasn’t fair. ”Yes. Drop” My mother said, rubbing her forehead. ”Sister, you’ll get something to eat in the plane” My aunt said, patting my mothers back. ”No…no…” My mother repeated, shaking her head. ”But mom.. I’ve told everyone about this trip!” I said, suddenly all the anger was showing. ”Please… for the sake of the kids” My aunt said, with a toothy smile. ”Alri…” She began. I hurried off to the man and told him to check the bags in. He put the tags on and added some data into his computer. Then I took hold of my mothers hand and we hurried off to the opposite end. We are going to be in the plane in no time, I thought happily. My mother walked slowly, and so did my aunt. I found this annoying, but I ignored. As soon as we reached to the spot where we had to show our passports again, my mom sat down. I felt my face turn red in anger. Then, out of nowhere, my father came. ”Mom, what now?” I asked, struggling to regain control over myself. ”I can’t.. this isn’t going to work” My mother complained. ”Sure it will” My father said, siding with me. I had many people on my side, but it still wasn’t working. ”Come on” My brother said. This went on and on forever, and soon my aunt was exhausted and left. We finally made it through one of the doors, and were completing our way, when my mom stopped AGAIN. This was too much. I looked at my brother, who gave me a weary look. ”We only have ten minutes” He said, his face blank. ”Mom, please” I begged. ”I made a big mistake, I should’ve come today” She said, shaking her head again. I looked out of the big huge windows, and saw the different airplanes out in the dark. Our airplane was there too. I looked at my hand watch, and realized we only had eight minutes to go. If we could get my mom to the airplane in eight minutes, then we’d be enjoying a beautiful holiday the next day. I licked my lips and started, ”Mom… you’ll relax in the plane” I said, patting her back like my aunt had once done. ”Hanan, you have no idea how I feel now” She said, slowly. I’m happy I don’t, I thought to myself angrily. I wouldn’t want to know anything about this ‘feeling’ that was preventing her from walking to the plane. This ‘feeling’ that had made us so late, and that was still making us late. I closed my fingers into a fist. I really felt like hitting something. ”Mom we only have five minutes” My brother said, sadly. ”Come on!” I nearly yelled. ”No, we’ll go some other time” My mother said, looking past us. ”No…no…” I said, stamping my feet. I looked like a complete idiot, but what did I care. I wanted to go on this holiday. I had really worked my butt off studying for the exams, so didn’t I need a relaxing holiday? We continued begging and pleading, until my little brother jumped up and down next to the huge glass windows, yelling “It’s gone… It’s gone..” ”What has?” I asked, wishing for a miracle. ”The airplane, duh” My little brother said I rushed to the window, and stood dumbstruck. It was gone. The spot where the plane had been was gone. Gone. So was the holiday. So were the continuous thoughts. The plans. Everything. Everything was gone. I hit my head against the glass softly, and turned to look at my mother. She sat down, rubbing her head. It was all her fault. All of it. My father came and picked us all up. In no time he dropped us at my mothers place, and I hurried off to my room. I had tears in my eyes, but I kept blinking them away. I would not cry for such a stupid reason. Stupid reason? I thought to myself, biting my lower lip. It wasn’t a stupid reason. It was a good reason. I went to the bathroom, but the tears wouldn’t come out. That’s it. Later that evening, I went to my mothers room. I found her sitting up in her bed, in the dark. What now? I thought. Somehow my anger towards her had faded. I walked into the room, and sat next to her. She put her arm around my shoulders and shook me, back and forth. ”I’m really sorry” She said. ”It’s okay” I said, in a weak voice. It wasn’t okay then. But now it is. I took the time to think about it and I realized my mother was afraid of flying. It had happened before, when we were traveling to another country. We didn’t give her much attention though, because she went on the plane. But this time she had found it harder. I guess I learnt a lesson: before defending ourselves or jumping up in the face of other, for something they’ve done, we should take a moment and picture ourselves in their shoes. Then maybe we’ll realize the reason that’s making them act the way they’re acting.
Copyright © 2003 Hanan Al Kindi |