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TITLE (EDIT)
Rambling |
DESCRIPTION
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[584 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Biography |
AUTHOR
Jinx |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
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[May 2017] |
Rambling
Jinx
There is a certain perspective that most people take when they see a glass of water or some other substance, that is half full and that is whether they think the glass is half full or half empty. When they hold it, it may change its shape if it is moved even slightly but its weight will still remain the same. If you were to hold that same glass up for an hour, the weight in the glass should have remained the same and yet, to you, the weight will have changed because the strain from holding it up in the same position for so long will have affected you.
This effect is something that also holds true for those who bottle up their feelings, their stress for a long time. So much so, that it starts to weigh down on them and affect them making them think in new ways that they normally wouldn’t. These thoughts sometimes even consist of awful things like wishing away their very existence which is very unfortunate.
Even more unfortunate, is the fact that one of the main causes of the depression of many people is either their work or school. In the case of young people, it is the system that is supposed to be helping them that is crushing them and…that is truly unfortunate.
It may seem like most people try to put out that being in high school or secondary school is wonderful and the ideal environment to learn in but with forced rules and set times along with teachers who are more like prison guards…it really is more like a prison itself….
This will be short but it was mainly something for the writer herself to push her frustrations onto so that she could try and calm herself. She feels that she may need a check up to make sure that she doesn’t have any mental disorders but she’s…too scared to speak out, too anxious to see what the reactions of those around her will be when they discover that she’s been having dark thoughts that would make any normal person want to scream in frustration because it just isn’t fair that life has to make itself seem so perfect only for it to collapse in on itself when it comes to growing up and having to get an education so that you can work away like another one of society’s slaves…
But, yeah. A check-up would be good. Because she can feel her mind slowly but surely breaking apart from the stress that life is placing on her and she keeps having that same dreadful thought of “Am I really needed? Do I really need to keep living like this?” Even though she loves her family and the feeling is clearly mutual, even though she knows they’d cry for her, even though she doesn’t want to hurt them…she doesn’t want herself to feel the hurt. The hurt that’s making her heart ache every day because she hides her aching pain behind her forced, pained smiles that no one has noticed. There are times when she can laugh and smile genuinely, though. Times when she can feel happy. But when she’s alone those dark thoughts come crawling back, their dark tendrils grasping her wrists firmly and delving deep into her mind to whisper those saddening temptations that suggest that…death might be the better option.
This lifestyle is awful and would make anyone want to cry, make me want to cry. But then…I realise and I remember…
The writer is me.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2017 Jinx |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
May 2017 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1134
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