Buenos Dias, Colombia (Not S Carolina!) (1) 1 Evil-doers want to blow up some important building(s) in our variegated capital city of some 7 million souls. Can you even imagine a baser desire? I hate destruction. 2 Here we have major highways or thoroughfares with no painted markings whatsoever. How would you like driving like that? The teenagers would like it I'm sure. 3 Many people think of Colombia(if and when) as only a country with a hot climate. Basically it's true, but nearly 10 million of its inhabitants live at an altitude which gives them what in the north we know as an October climate all year round. If you like October and April, as I do, it's hard to beat! 4 How times have changed. Weaponry, of course. Colombia always had its problems, but people never housed this kind of fear--that of being blown away at any moment. A kamikaze pilot. Any day it can happen to us. Colombians like to pray to the Virgin. I've always thought all 3 are better than just one--God, the Son and the Virgin. 5 Despite thousands of pages of negative publicity over the years regarding this country, LOVE is still alive and well and shows no signs of vanishing. Good people sincerely kiss and hug each other daily and, as such, strengthen their resolve to continue life's struggle with a smile and firm steps. Unfortunately, as is the case with any nation, hatred and intolerance are also alive and well. 6 Our dear, creative city mayors of late have caused GREAT and extensive changes to be completed, although one knows there is always another change that is beneficial or needed. I can propose one despite people's certainty of saying I am interfering. It's those damn neighborhood loudspeakers atop all sorts of vehicles! They urge us, after waking us up so rudely, to buy everything from tangerines to spare parts for our pots and pans. Saturday is the worst day. It's sheer noise pollution. How pleasant it was in the 1970s when we heard the vendors doing the same work but with voices unamplified. 7 Salaries here have always been terribly low for most of the citizenry when compared to those of developed countries, therefore, the exodus. Of course, it has greatly increased the past few years what with these "winds of war." Only the upper and middle classes can live with a modicum of decency. Sacrifice is a way of life here. Even I, your brilliant author(ha), have experienced a day or two without the $ for even a tube of toothpaste. I had to wait until someone paid me. But in general, I don't live deprived, unless you count my not having seen, let alone whiffed, a lobster in 11 years. Are they still being steamed? 8 Near our embassy about 5 or 6 dogs(mongrels) hang out. There are some rustic restaurants nearby, so, that helps them. The sight fit for a photographer is in the late afternoons when they've "lunched" and have crossed under the embassy fence and lie around on the green green grass of gringos sunning themselves complacently. Sheer privilege. 9 Here you don't just plop down on the seat someone on the bus has just vacated, you wait a decent interval of some 40 to 50 seconds while the seat "cools". In Georgia, especially during winter, we considered a warm seat to be a sort of bonus. Folkways and customs. 10 We have 18 official holidays in this country but 1 or 2 generally fall on Saturday or Sunday. This still leaves 16. Not bad if you're an employee, is it? It's a holiday-lover's paradise. But read this--Puerto Rico and Venezuela have 29 and 26, respectively! A passage anyone? 11 Speaking of immigration, I wish more people would emigrate and come to Ecuador, Venezuela, Colombia, Peru, and Bolivia. Too many people are alike in language, culture and religion in these countries. There's nothing like healthy pluralism. Isn't that part of what made our country great? We are referred to as the "colossus in the north." 12 Waste. It's a big topic and I get sad every time I go to fast food places and they give you plastic eating utensils and sauces you neither request nor need, not to mention all kinds of bags and styrofoam containers. Here in mango(succulently-delicious!)land people tend to waste nothing! 13 In this country there is an official religion. Here, I don't speak against the country OR the religion, but after having lived here many years, I can say I prefer our way--the official separation of the two. So, I speak merely against non-separation. I love Christianity, but I can see how repressive it could become in the absence of checks and balances. Makes me appreciate the minds of Franklin, Jefferson, and their cohorts. Sorry, but I don't want anyone telling me when to pray, how or to whom to pray. I wanna choose all by my little lonesome. Long live choice and our right to make one. If this makes me a heathen, then boo-hoo. 14 I had a student named Jhellybean, believe it or not. It isn't pronounced like any ordinary jelly bean, however. It's pronounced jelly bay-ahn, sort of Frenchy, you know. She's a very very pretty girl with a lovely personality. I hope she has lots of luck in life. 15 Time just doesn’t mean here what it means in our country. There isn’t that much difference between 5:00 and 5:30. This is the feeling/philosophy and if you think otherwise, you are looked upon as being uptight about it. Take Mothers'Day for instance. Although it has its “official" Sunday just as ours, the whole month is considered the month of mothers and you can give your gift practically any day you wish. Or it can be multiple gifts. This isn’t at all bad, is it? Not for those of us who have/had good mothers, anyway. 16 Explain this: Some religious schools here are joining the tendency to place as many events on Saturdays as possible. So, for 15 Saturdays minimum throughout the year you get 10 in-house teacher training days, 4 grade report days(Here the parents—or MOST parents—pick up the child’s grade report personally, unlike the report card at home taken by the child.), and one or two miscellaneous, like Family Day or a bazaar-type festivity. This is the country of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The Catholic Church touts its promotion of family unity and values yet these religious are taking mothers and fathers(since they are school teachers or school administrators) AWAY from their families at least 15 Saturdays a year. Have I missed something somewhere? 17 The capital of this great country is located on a high plateau that extends many many miles north of the city. It is a popular Sunday pasttime for car owners(fewer as a percentage than at home) to take friends and family riding from one town to another in this expanse. It's a beautiful sight to see such profuse greenery and the munching of cows, sheep, and horses. It's a sight almost as moving as those we've seen in photos of Scotland and England and just think--there's no approaching winter season to dread. 18 Pablo Escobar's name here is akin to Al Capone's or Jesse James's in our country. All kinds of legends and facts are interwoven regarding this man. Of course, no one saw him place the bombs in the capital the few years preceding his death, so...but after his death, they ceased to explode and mutilate countless innocent passersby. You can't imagine our preoccupation while walking around the city running errands in '92 and '93. In one interview Pablo admitted that he had become what he'd always wanted to be--a bandit. He also became extremely rich, a goal he'd set while in his early teens. We'll never know how many deaths he was truly responsible for. Maybe that's fortunate. 19 Next week, on a holiday, the new president-elect takes the oath of office. I wish he'd do this on some ship out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean what with so much uncertainty abounding. We have to see the ceremony by TV anyway. Maybe they could rent a cruise ship and have a sumptuous banquet and dance afterward. He'd be a lot safer, wouldn't he? Why do we have to follow so much tradition if it's not in everyone's best interest? 20 Oh, the flowers of the capital city. Indeed, the whole country! It is literally a flower garden. Capital city roses, azaleas, bougainvillea, gardenias, wisteria, and thousands more. Don't they say the flora of this country is the world's most diverse? If I'm wrong, I know then that it's true about the birds. My biologist-ornithologist told me. Do you have a biologist? 21 Did I get mad today! One of those damn vehicles with the loudspeaker atop it "parked" illegally for more than 3 hours on one of this city's busiest avenues and blared out its sales pitch. Its lights flashed on and off the whole time. It wasn't just the additional noise that got to me, it was the frustrated drivers who had to clench their teeth and brake like crazy then wait till they could finally get around the thing. Chaos for them and no one stopped to say a thing. That's part of how we live here. But get this: the national headquarters of the police is located less than 10 blocks away! Isn't that some kind of message for us? 22 Everybody’s heart gets glad and light when they are approaching the Melgar or Girardot areas. These are tropical(read torrid) resort towns about 2 hours from the nation’s capital and they are replete with hotels, restaurants, swimming pools, dance halls, loud motorcycles, laughter, etc. The change of vegetation one experiences during the drive is spectacular. I love banana trees and elephant ears myself, but not the temperatures. Give me my capital city “refrigeration" any old day. 23 My young friend Germán A. is a good son, good Colombian and good English student. Germán is a first name in this country. Germán is 10 years old and a leader of this nation’s future. He loves soccer passionately and can give me all the information I need in a flash. He says the best soccer player at the moment in this country is Giovanni Hernández of Cali, and in the whole wide world, Juan Román Riquelme or Luis Figo. Both are excellent he assures me. 24 One of the worst crimes in this country was the “collar" bomb some enemies of Ana Cortés’s put around her neck about 3 years ago. She was blown away after spending hours in agony and fear. The entire citizenry was stunned beyond anyone’s comprehension. It seemed to have turned out to be some sort of vendetta by neighbors. Of course, over the past several decades there have been atrocities of many kinds. Not only here but around the world. I wish there was a Nobel Prize that could actually prevent such incidents. Love can prevent, but it must enter through an open door. Right? 25 Head South Young Man. Most of our female new reporters and MCs here are so beautiful and impeccably made up that you want to watch the news 24 hours a day practically. How nice it is nowadays to be able to connect with someone who might be a future partner via an internet introduction. Don’t pur off till tomorrow... 26 Tabio and Tenjo(pronounced Tah-bee-o and Tain-ho) are quaint little towns on the northwestern outskirts of this sprawling capital city. Visiting a few weeks ago, we noticed the elegance and beauty of the restored Tenjo church. As you walk around the town square you feel so far away from the hustle and bustle of mammoth Bogota yet you are only 25 minutes away. The streets are very clean and towns of this sort always have freshly-made goodies for your visiting and needy appetite. Want a biscuit? 27 How can you live here? some have asked. They mean one from a “rich" country living in a “poor" one. The adjectives, of course, are subject to interpretation. I can live here because I never wanted the sizable suburban house with the 2 or 3-car garage and the cars in it that so typify big city life back home. I realized this as a university student. I thought it so humdrum and a lot of work, besides. Here I have lived happily and productively in a climate and pace of life particularly suited to me. I have been surrounded by a warm and caring community, in general, and have had my life enhanced as such. As Fitzgerald said, “a sort of royalty." Of course, I’ve never stopped loving my own people. I’m no heretic, you see. 28 Coffee. A short time ago I read an article about the different reasons the coffee industry has fallen on bad times. Colombia was once well-known almost exclusively for its superior coffee(and it is still superior), but everyone knows the country is known for other things nowadays, including orchids! The article did not dwell on the increased variety of beverages now available, but dwelled instead on everything else. I felt and feel that variety has had much to do with low coffee prices(or demand, if you will). Sixty years ago about the time of WWII EVERYBODY drank coffee! And if you didn’t you drank tea or chocolate or sodas. These were about all that were available then. What have we to drink today? HUNDREDS, it seems, of beverage choices from Wine Cooler to Clight. So, while coffee tastes good to many people, it’s just one of many, many items on the shopping list. So, wake up, Colombia. Export more chocolate, tea, and tropical fruit drinks. Export brides, too. 29 Obviously policing this country has never been easy but nowadays it is, as is so many others, worse than bad. We all feel absolutely unprotected and subject to the whims of the bully-of-the-moment. When a policeman or policewoman is totally worried about stuffing his/her pockets so that half the family can eat decently, he/she can’t be very effective at providing protection for his/her fellow citizens. One is reminded of the Wild West of North America and tries to adapt his lifestyle accordingly. Crime will be deterred when and if perpetrators are punished and not rewarded with a lack of action as is the case these days. To add to this, we are told by an outgoing high official that 6 to 700 terrorist acts have been averted! God save us when one goes unthwarted. 30 True love. Get this: I was part of a group of teachers responsible for C’s failing the year and getting “forced" to switch schools. The student needed a less-demanding school which included less English(If you’re under pressure learning math, science, your own language, etc, you don’t need the additional pressures of the English language.). Two years later the student's mom calls up saying the student has never forgotten me and still appreciates me highly. Would I give the student English classes? Of course I would. I liked that student very much. To say the least, it’s been not only a pleasant experience(again) but a humbling one as well, no joke. Forgive me the immodesty. 31 If the world paid attention to a Central American country’s greedy desire to get some of Colombia’s islands near Central America(ironically), why, all kinds of past geographical maneuvers would have to be questioned and/or renegotiated. It’s reminiscent of the Faulkland Islands. Remember? Take Alaska. As it lies far closer to Russia and Canada than it does to its owner, the USA, either country can argue that it should rightly be theirs, that what happened in the past occurred under unhealthy circumstances and duress. 32 This extract is dedicated to those in this country who have lost their lives(murdered) because they dared to continue saying or writing messages that were unpopular or damaging to unpatriotic and/or corrupt “citizens." Long live freedom of expression! When we no longer have it, we’ll be miserable and feel led around with a bridle like those unfortunate masses in some of the mideastern countries. People in this country would not like to live like that, I’m convinced, because I know how people here are inside—in their hearts and souls. 33 How to get Colombian movie magnates to realize that not everyone in their country can HEAR or UNDERSTAND all movies in Spanish, that closed-captioning is now at least 20 years old and that by captioning all movies in Spanish(whatever the Spanish-speaking country of origin), the deaf and slow foreigner in Colombia could enjoy movies in the Spanish language even. 34 I still say he was brave whatever else he was. Every president of a country is vilified mercilessly, it seems, and this outgoing Dr P is no exception. A. Lincoln was vililfied to a shocking extent. Why brave? Because even though he is the son of an ex-president, he didn’t have to be president. He didn’t have to live here risking his and his family’s lives and tranquility. He could have been nicely set up in London or Paris and to hell with the land of his birth and its never-ending problems(as in every land. Mrs B said where you have people you have problems.) Of course, he will undoubtedly get nicely set up very soon in one of those ritzy capital cities or in Madrid. That’s life though, isn’t it? 35 Finally the stores and supermarkets here are getting some first-class competition. For eons it was only Fruco(an old, traditional brand) and if you didn’t want to pay their prices, you did without or made the product yourself. Fruco products are of good quality, but some days you just don’t have enough $. So, many people welcome lots of new brands and new stores like Carrefour, I’m sure. 36 After what happened in Manhattan last year, it’s beautiful and comforting to see long lines still forming outside our elegant embassy here. Not because this or that visa seeker is poor, but because good Colombians still seek to visit or live in our vast and great country for a variety of reasons. Spain’s embassy also has much demand as do a few other countries' embassies. Many many countries have NO demand. Wonder why there are no long lines to live in the country of the great singer Celia Cruz? Oh, lots of people go there to enjoy the beach cheaply, but how many have you seen with a burning desire to live there?
Copyright © 2002 Randall Barfield |