Suicide And Cigarettes Revised Ver.2 SUICIDE AND CIGARETTES a play in two scenes by Tyurina Allen copyright 2000 Tyurina Allen ALL RIGHTS RESERVED CHARACTERS SYLVIA- A college student who is rather shy yet not totally reserved. HELEN- A college dropout whose personality is very sarcastic. MIKE- A high school friend of Sylvia’s. Scene One The characters SYLVIA (20) and HELEN (22) are lying with their small backs on SYLVIA’S bed in her small New York City apartment. It is in the 11:45 in the morning and they are partially bored. They are both lesbians who have just come out the night before. The room smells dusky with cigarettes and wine. HELEN is smoking a cigarette with heavily red painted lips. SYLVIA is makeup-less. Both are drinking from a shared bottle of white wine. SYLVIA Helen. HELEN What? SYLVIA Have you ever laid like this with your back upon your lover’s bed and considered of what Hemingway possibly thought as he put that shotgun to his head and blew one of the world’s greatest brains apart? HELEN No. Why never...am I about to? SYLVIA If you wish at all to answer my question. HELEN Well since you put it that way I believe, if he thought of anything, anything at all, he probably thought of a plot for one of the most beautiful and sensuous novels ever known to man, ever known to New York. (lights another cigarette) SYLVIA Personally and without the wine, I prefer to believe he thought of everything he ever experienced. Love, words, poetics, sex, politics, war, women, children, your cigarettes, this wine. HELEN It all sure is a shame though, isn’t it? SYLVIA What sure is a shame? HELEN That he ever thought of those things… SYLVIA Why not. I do. (Short pause) HELEN What do you think Plath thought of as she was slowly etching herself into the ‘great beyond’, as they say? SYLVIA You mean my dear little nemesis Miss Sylvia Plath? HELEN Yes, yes of course I almost forgot. Your nemesis, that dear little dead girl Sylvia Plath! SYLVIA I think… I think as she was shutting herself off from this sweet gray world and escaping into beautiful blankness or the ‘great beyond’ she thought of how her long, thin body would ever so luxuriously ooze and melt into the soil surrounding her once she was fully dead. Isn’t that what you would think of? HELEN Sure, I guess if I was that daring and female. But in this world I am only amid the modern. SYLVIA (laughs) Are not we all? Hey, do you have another cigarette? HELEN Yeah, why… Want one? SYLVIA Yes, maybe give me two, if possible. HELEN Have you ever even smoked before? I don’t say it to be rude or anything, it is just that I have yet to see you smoke yet. SYLVIA Yes, though I don’t tend to do it often. I only do it when I feel a certain mood like I am feeling now. HELEN Is it a good mood you are supposed to feel, or a bad mood? SYLVIA Well, it must be a good mood if I’m feeling it when you’re here. (both exchange a kiss) HELEN You know I really think I love you. SYLVIA I know, right now I think I feel the same. This is all so new to me though at the same time it is so damn…so damn… HELEN Comfortable? SYLVIA Yes, comfortable and almost like it is heredity, put into you from the moment of your birth. (short pause) HELEN You still need the cigarette after all that lovey-dovey stuff we just threw on each other. SYLVIA Of course. I still feel the mood. HELEN Here you are my dear, two just like you asked for. (Hand two cigarettes to Sylvia) Just remember two things: don’t smoke ‘em both at once, and please don’t end up as worthless as me. SYLVIA (laughs.) Why, what is so worthless about you? I think that you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I see nothing terribly awful about you except maybe for the small fact neither of us meant to have this happen… HELEN Well, I guess people don’t always plan things such as this. Besides, a love like ours is not a fault, it is a state of being, a part of you. Not a sin so lets start chuggin’ babe! (Grabs the wine from upon the floor) SYLVIA Hey, you know, I got a great idea! HELEN Yeah? SYLVIA Let’s call Mike, an old friend of mine, and invite him over. You know, just to screw around with him for awhile. And I promise we won’t hurt him. HELEN Sure, but what kind of screw? SYLVIA (Raises eyebrows) Definitely not his! (laughter) SYLVIA No, No. Just invite him over to you know…you know… HELEN To screw? SYLVIA Yes, to screw! (Laughter) FADE TO BLACK Scene Two It is mid afternoon and both SYLVIA and HELEN are at the phone in the living room of SYLIVA’S small apartment. SYLVIA is closest to the phone holding a small personal address book in her hands. They are sitting on a floral couch very close to one another. SYLVIA is looking for a phone number. HELEN is very flirty trying to seduce SYLVIA. HELEN Have you found his number yet Sy? (Leaning over to kiss SYLVIA’S cheek stroking her small breast slightly.) SYLVIA No, not yet. The stupid pages seem to be stuck or something…wait here it is. (Reading aloud from book.) MIKE 587-2447. Very melodic phone number huh? (sings) 5-8-7-2-4-4-7, 5-8-7-2-4-4-7. HELEN Yes, very melodic. (kiss) SYLVIA So, do you want you or me to call? HELEN I think you should call, it’s your house after all, and your phone. Besides, you’re the playwright of this little sick tale. SYLVIA All right. What do you want me to say exactly? HELEN Oh I don’t know. Just say ‘Hi Mike it’s me Sylvia here and I was wondering if you would like to come over for awhile.’ How about that, will that work? SYLVIA Sure, sure. I guess that will work HELEN Well dear, you’re the director! SYLVIA Wish me luck! HELEN I wish you the best of unhypothetical luck my dear! Now go on; go, go on. (SYLVIA dials) ON THE PHONE: SYLVIA is talking to Mike. (HELEN should be coming on to SYLVIA during the conversation.) SYLVIA Hi Mike. It's Sylvia, remember me? SYLVIA Fine, things are okay I guess, and you? SYLVIA Well actually I didn't really call you just to talk about you and me specifically;(HELEN kisses SYLVIA and stokes her breast.) I called to invite you over to my place today. Just to hang out, you know, with Helen and me. SYLVIA Oh, I am sorry, you don’t know her. Helen is a friend of mine I met at this club awhile back a little after graduation. She is very nice and a dear to me. She came here…uh…yesterday. SYLVIA Oh, she doesn't really know. She is having money problems (HELEN kisses SYLVIA) and she can't pay rent on her apartment so she needs a place to stay for a little while, just a little while. SYLVIA Oh don't worry. Helen doesn't mooch, she's a sweetie. SYLVIA Yes. A good friend.(HELEN gives another kiss) SYLVIA Oh, whenever you're ready I guess is fine with us. (HELEN puts hand between SYLVIA’S legs and stokes kissing her.) SYLVIA Sure fifteen’s great. And you can just walk in, the doors open. SYLVIA Oh, no. It won’t be a disruption! We are not a bit busy anyway. (More kisses from HELEN continuing the stroking motions up towards SYLVIA’S breasts) SYLVIA OK. SYLVIA Yeah, bye. (hangs up phone) HELEN Sexy man, huh? SYLVIA Well, that’s something I have yet to see sweetie. HELEN So, what’s the plan according to Mike? SYLVIA 15 minutes. HELEN Oh, dear that is a tad bit more than I was expecting! (giggles) SYLVIA Very funny, I mean he will be here in 15 minutes. HELEN What did you tell him about coming here? SYLVIA That he could just walk in, why? HELEN Then we must be quick. SYLVIA Quick? HELEN Yes, quick, quickie, SYLVIA Now, but what if he walks in? HELEN Oh, don’t worry, men are never on time! Trust me, when I was in high school and started dating for only God knows why, I went out with a lot of guys and none of them were ever on time! SYLVIA I know that men are never on time that is what I am worried about! HELEN (Laughs) Oh, relax it is not like we are on a public beach! Besides, men are seldom early for anything! (HELEN begins to hover over SYLVIA) HELEN (Whispers) C’mon (Both fall to floor.) TEN MINUTES LATER: MIKE enters catching HELEN and SYLVIA making love very erotically and moaning aloud about to orgasm. MIKE What? (SYLVIA and HELEN scamper putting on clothes trying to catch their breaths.) HELEN Oh, are you Mike? Nice to meet you. MIKE Yeah. SYLVIA Oh Mike, I am sorry. I was just, I mean we were just waiting for you and, um, well… HELEN Your early MIKE Yeah, well just by about 5 minutes. But I didn't expect… HELEN The red carpet? Oh, no I know we shouldn't have. SYLVIA Please Mike, she doesn't mean to be rude, you see she is somewhat…we were… HELEN What she means to say is that we were having a wonderful if not terrific time being horny on the floor when you walked in, very unexpected. MIKE Yeah. I see, but… SYLVIA Here, why don't you sit down? Here's a chair. HELEN Yes, yes a chair. Isn't that sweet of dear little Sylvia to offer you a chair? MIKE Yeah, well um, I have to go to the bathroom, I think. HELEN Yes, (smirks) I am sure you think. SYLVIA The bathroom is down the hall first door to your left. MIKE Yeah. Thank you. HELEN Have a good jiggy time! Just be sure to watch your step on the way there! (MIKE exits to bathroom) SYLVIA Could you be a little more rude! HELEN I was just having a little fun. Besides, he don't understand us, he's straight. Trust me dear, he does the same things everyday. He could never understand us. I don't understand why you are so upset anyway. Here, (hands SYLVIA a glass of wine) have a drink, it will do you some good. Loosen up them limbs! SYLVIA No, I don't want a drink HELEN Yes, yes have a drink. (takes a sip) See it's not poison or anything. SYLVIA Of course not because if it was you would have been dead hours ago. (short pause) Hey, did you hear that? HELEN I didn't hear nothing' but your breathing. SYLVIA Sounded like a window…no way! (SYLVIA exits running toward the bathroom) SYLVIA (Knocking on the bathroom door) Mike? Mike? Mike, are you in there? HELEN What's going on? What did you hear? SYLVIA Wait, I am going to open this door. HELEN Why? Isn't Mike in there? Or did I scare him away the little tart? SYLVIA (Opens the door and looks in) Omigod, he's gone jesushesreallygone! Why the little twit! I cannot believe that nerd. You know what he did Hel? HELEN What! SYLVIA He went right out of the goddamn window. What a sucker, he fell for the whole damn ploy! HELEN (Acting sober)Wow, I didn’t think he would. I guess we got him good, huh babe? SYLVIA Yup, I guess we got him good, real good. (short pause) SYLVIA So dear, tell me again about that thing we could do on the public beach. FADE TO BLACK
Copyright © 2000 Tyurina E Allen |