(Stage is set as a living room: couch, TV, dining table, cabinets, etc. Lights are off.)

(Walter, 16 years old, sits on a stool at the front of the stage, a little off to the side. He’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt, with an ordinary haircut)

(The lights go up over Walter)

Walter: Hi. I’m Walter. My friends call me Wally. I’m your average teenager, living an average life, with an average family, in an average house, in an average town. It’s really boring, being so average. I wish I could just do something about it…just make a change, break out of the system, something like that… I mean, life just gets so monotonous sometimes, you know? Everyday I wake up and it’s the same thing…eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do homework, chat with friends, go to sleep… Is that all there is to life? It can’t be…there’s gotta be more to it. There must be something I’m missing…but I don’t know what it is. It’s hard to find something when you don’t know what you’re looking for. (shrugs) Oh well… anyway, this is my house. (Pauses) I said…this is my house! (Lights come up over living room) There we go. This is my family. (Mother (Sally), Father (Harry), and two younger brothers (Johnny, 7 years old, and Jimmy, 4 years old) enter from stage left, through door. They hang up their coats. Johnny and Jimmy start chasing each other around the room, playing with toys, etc. Sally crosses stage, dodging the kids, and exits through kitchen door. Harry sits down on the couch and starts watching TV) Yep. A pretty average family. (Sally opens kitchen door, Walter turns around and watches with the audience)

Sally: Hey, Harry, could you give me a hand in here?

Harry: Come on, Sally, we just got home. Can’t I get a chance to unwind a bit?

Sally: Unwind? You’ve been unwinding for the past 20 years of our marriage!

Harry: What are you talking about?! I work hard for this family! I’ve put all of my energy into my job so that we can live this lifestyle…and now you’re complaining that I want to unwind?

Sally: You know, (coming out of the kitchen door) you’re not the only one in this family that works hard. I have to do the bills, run errands, and supervise three children! That’s not exactly a walk in the park, you know!

Harry: I never said you didn’t work hard…I just said that I needed a break! Stop turning everything against me!

Sally: Oh, so now it’s all my fault, is it? I’m the one turning things against people. Why don’t you just go ahead and…

Walter: Hey, both of you, shut up! (Both parents stop and face Walter) Stop fighting all the time! You’re acting like teenagers, for godsake! Besides, you’re holding up the scene.

Harry and Sally: Sorry. (Harry resumes watching TV, Sally goes back into kitchen)

Walter: (Turns back to audience) (Mumbles: "Forty-year olds. Sheesh.") Anyway, as I was saying, I have a pretty average family. Housewife mother, businessman father, two idiotic little brothers. Your typical American family. Anyway, (looks at watch) it’s 6 o’clock on the dot, so that means…

Sally: (Opens kitchen door) Dinnertime! (Harry, Jimmy, and Johnny all gather around dinner table and sit down)

Walter: Like I said, typical American family. (Carries stool off stage, comes back on and sits down at dinner table) (Sally walks in with a cooked turkey, puts it in the middle of the table, everyone starts eating) (After a moment, Sally puts down her food and asks…)

Sally: So, how was everyone’s day?

Walter: Good. (continues eating)

Sally: Good? Is that it? Is that all you can think of to say? Just a one word answer?

Walter: Yes.

Sally: Oh, come on, something interesting must have happened today.

Walter: (Puts down food) Well…let’s see. First period was Creative Writing. That was boring. My teacher made us write a 5 page essay on the nature of tofu and it’s impact on contemporary literature. Second period was Fencing class. Basically a bunch of people poking each other with sticks. Third period was Chemistry. We blew up some stuff and that was it. Fourth period was Spanish. We watched a boring video with some drunken Mexicans in it. Fifth period was Computer Programming. That was basically 45 minutes of crashing and rebooting. Sixth period was lunch. I ate reprocessed pig fat pressed into various shapes. Seventh period was Algebra, where I learned that X plus Y equals "I don’t give a crap". Eighth period was US History, where we studied a bunch of old guys complaining about stuff that happened 100 years before Grandpa was born. Ninth period was English, where we read a novel that would put an insomniac to sleep. Then I got all my books and ran to catch the bus, where I sat cramped in like a sardine for 30 minutes. Then I had to walk 3 blocks in the freezing rain to our house, because the bus route is really screwed up. Any questions? (By this time the entire family is just staring at him blankly) I didn’t think so. (Continues eating, then looks up) Well? Hello? (Family snaps out of it and continues eating, as does Walter)

Sally: (Still a little shocked) Well…er…uh…how was…uh…how was your day, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Poopie!

Sally: Er…delightful. Would somebody please pass the gravy?

(Lights go out)

(Scene changes to classroom, blackboard is in the back left corner of the stage, seats in front of it, going diagonally across the stage. Walter sits on a stool on the front of the stage, like before. The corner seat, closest to the audience, is empty. Next to that sits Bill, who is wearing baggy jeans, a basketball jersey, a backwards hat, and sunglasses. Kelly sits in the centermost seat, and the rest of the seats are filled with other random kids)

(Teacher walks in)

Mr. Parker: Hello, class. I’m Mr. Parker and this is 3^rd period Chemistry…

Walter: He says that every single day.

Mr. Parker: …but you probably already knew that, since I say it every single day.

Walter: What’d I tell ya?

Mr. Parker: Today’s lesson is on electron orbitals and the quantum theory of the atom.

Walter: But what’s he’s really saying is…(Snaps his fingers)

Mr. Parker: Today’s lesson is really boring and unimportant, but I’m going to force it upon you because it’s in the required curriculum. If I don’t teach it, I may lose my job, which I need to pay my bills and the rent for my crappy one-room apartment in downtown Newark. I hate my life.

Walter: But he’ll never actually say that. (Snaps his fingers)

Mr. Parker: Walter, would you stop talking to the audience and please take your seat?

Walter: Sorry, Mr. Parker!

(Walter brings the stool offstage, then returns and sits down in the empty corner seat)

Bill: Hey, dude! I was wondering where you were…

Walter: Yeah, I was just talking to the audience, Bill.

Bill: Phat, G. Breakin’ it down, homestyle! West side! Bo diggity dang! Chillin’ in the hood with my peeps, yo!

Walter: Sure, Bill. Whatever you say.
Bill: Wiggity.

Mr. Parker: Anyway, can anybody explain atomic orbitals to the class?

Kelly: (Raising her hand) I can, Mr. Parker!

Mr. Parker: Very well, Kelly.

(Kelly takes her book and walks up to the blackboard, then turns around to face the class. The lights dim on everyone except Walter and Kelly.)

Kelly: An orbital is defined as the wave function of an electron in an atom or molecule, indicating the electron's probable location. But that’s not important. What’s important is you, Walter… (walks over to Walter’s desk, Walter gets up to face her) Oh, Walter, all these years I’ve wanted to tell you so badly…about my true feelings. You see…deep down inside…I…I…I love you, Walter! (She kisses him passionately) (The lights go out)

Mr. Parker: Walter? Walter? Are you with us, Walter? Walter? WALTER!

(The lights snap back on suddenly. The scene is as it was before, with everyone seated and the teacher at the front of the class. Walter is startled)

Walter: Oh, er…uh…sorry, Mr. Parker.

Mr. Parker: Anyway, as I was saying, can anybody explain atomic orbitals to the class?

Kelly: (Raising her hand) I can, Mr. Parker!

Mr. Parker: Very well, Kelly.

(Kelly takes her book and walks up to the blackboard, then turns around to face the class. She begins reading, her voice at a background level. Walter turns to the audience)

Walter: Sorry about that, but I couldn’t help it. I’ve had a crush on that girl for 4 years. I know, it’s sad, isn’t it? I told her everything at the end of 9^th grade, but she "just didn’t like me that way." You know how it goes. Common story. So, now all I can do is just look at her, at her beautiful hair, her beautiful eyes, her beautiful…everything… Everyday I see her, and it’s almost too much to bear. To be reminded of what you cannot have…over and over…it really hurts. (sighs) Well, I guess that’s just how it goes. (Turns back to class)

Kelly: …and that’s what an atomic orbital is.

Mr. Parker: Thank you, Kelly. You may sit down. Now…(continues lecturing in the background)

Bill: (Turns to Walter) Man, this is really boring. When do we get to blow up stuff?

Walter: How should I know? This is chemistry, not pyrotechnics.

Bill: Where’s that class?

Walter: (flatly) We don’t have a pyrotechnics class, Bill.

Bill: Damn!

Mr. Parker: What was that, Bill?

Bill: I was just expressing my outrage that there’s no pyrotechnics class, sir.

Mr. Parker: And why would you want one, Bill?

Bill: Uh…because it’s fun to blow things up?

Mr. Parker: Sit down, Bill.

Bill: I am sitting, Mr. Parker.

Mr. Parker: Whatever.

(Lights go out)

(Stage is set back to living room. The sound of rain outside can be heard, accompanied by occasional thunder (accompanied by a flash of lightning). As the scene progresses, the thunder becomes louder and more frequent. Walter enters stage left, through door with a backpack and a raincoat on. He hangs the raincoat up and throws the backpack onto the floor next to the couch. He sits down on the couch and turns on the TV. His dad enters in from another door.)

Harry: Walter…

Walter: Yeah, Dad?

Harry: Your report card just came in the mail.

Walter: And…?

Harry: I think…we need to have a talk. (Walter turns off TV. Harry crosses stage, in deep thought, then turns back to Walter) I thought you were a smart kid. I thought you were going to make something of yourself. But then...then I see this...(points to report card in other hand)...this...this garbage! What is this? A B- in Algebra? A C in US history?! What’s going on here? You always had really good grades in the past... did you...did you... stop trying? Is that it? Did you just suddenly decide to throw away your entire future? Because that’s what you’re doing! (Angrily) You’re throwing it all away, goddammit! Your hopes...your dreams... you can’t achieve those with a damn C! Don’t you get it? Don’t you see the big picture? (Calmer) It’s all a game, son: Who can get the better grades, who can get into the better college, who can get the higher-paying job, who can get the most money... it’s a game, son, and you’re losing! How can you get into a good college with these grades? (Points at report card in other hand) (Begins to get angry) If you keep up with this, you’re going to become a godforsaken janitor! You hear me? A janitor! And you’ll spend the rest of your miserable, pointless life living out of a crappy, one-room apartment next to drug dealers and prostitutes! Do you want that? Is that what you want!?

(Calmer) Look, there are kids who spend their entire weekend doing work and studying. But you? (Almost sarcastically) No, you spend your weekend sleeping and surfing the internet. You think that’s going to get you anywhere? (Anger begins to increase again) Goddammit, you can’t just keep doing this to yourself! You’re going downhill, boy...you’re sinking fast! If you keep this up you’re going to fail, you hear me? You’re gonna FAIL! You’re going to fail yourself, you’re going to fail your mother, you’re going to fail your brothers, but most importantly... you’re going to fail me. And nobody fails me, you hear? NOBODY!

Walter: (Standing to face Harry) That’s just it, Dad, isn’t it? It’s all about you…what you want me to become. Did you ever stop and think about what I want? Did you ever think that maybe this is my life we’re talking about? I’m not your little pet, Dad…you may have raised me, but now it’s time for me to make the choices for my life. And I’m sorry if my grades aren’t perfect, but you can’t expect me to be a genius just like you were.

Harry: Well, maybe I can’t expect you to be a genius, but I can expect you to at least try…

Walter: I am trying!

Harry: (angrily) No, you’re not! I refuse to believe that this is the best you can do. Look, Walter, I could never have gotten where I am today without working hard. Oh, sure, I could’ve spent my years slacking off and messing around, but I didn’t. I put in my best effort and worked hard, and now look where we are! Look what I’ve done for you! We’re living the American Dream!

Walter: This isn’t the American Dream! This is the American Nightmare!

(Harry slaps Walter across the face. Harry stares for a moment at his hand, almost in disbelief, then stares at Walter)

Harry: I…I’m sorry…son…

(Harry exits out through the door he entered.)

(Walter sits back down on the couch and stays there with his head in his hands, as the lights dim to nothing)

(Scene changes to Walter’s bedroom. There’s a bed on the right side of the stage, a door next to it, posters on the walls, a computer on the left side of the stage, and a desk with books and papers on it on the back wall. There is a window above the desk.)

(Walter is sitting at the computer, playing a game)

(Sally enters)

Sally: Walter? What are you doing indoors on such a beautiful day? Go outside and play!

Walter: (Turns from the computer) Go outside and…play? Are you kidding me? This is the 21^st century, Mom. People don’t do that, anymore.

Sally: What are you talking about, Walter?

Walter: You know exactly what I’m talking about. Look outside the window. What do you see? Empty streets, that’s what. Nothing except for the occasional car passing through. This town is dead, Mom. There’s nothing going on, anywhere.

Sally: Oh, come on, life couldn’t have changed that much since-

Walter: It has. These aren’t the 1960s anymore. Real life interaction is passé. The outdoor world is barren and industrial. The only place you can find people is online. That’s where everyone is now. Remember the Village Green, where you and your friends used to meet? That’s gone now. That’s in the past. (Turns back to the computer, motions at it) Welcome to the new Village Green.

Sally: Well…surely, can’t you invite a friend over or something? What about Bill?

Walter: Bill? (Starts to think about it) Well…I guess…I haven’t had him over in a while…oh, fine. If it’ll make you stop nagging me.

Sally: Great. Now, at least I know you’ll be doing something productive. (Leaves the room) (Walter picks up the phone next to the computer, dials Bill’s number)

Walter: Hey, can I speak to Bill?…No, this isn’t a cop, it’s Walter…No, I’m not a cop posing as Walter, I am Walter…Okay, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over today…Why? Because my mom was nagging me to go outside, so I figured…Yeah, I know! What was she thinking?…Anyway, can you come over?…Okay, cool, that’s great. See you la-…No, Bill, I don’t want you to bring over your rap CDs…No, Bill, leave the inflatable Eminem doll at home…Just come over. That’s all. Okay?…Good. See you in a couple minutes, then. (Hangs up the phone)

(Lights go out)

(Clock-ticking sound to indicate the passage of time)

(Lights go up. Scene is the same except that Bill has entered and is lying on Walter’s bed, throwing a ball into the air and catching it. He does this throughout the scene.)

Walter: (without looking away from the computer) So…Bill…what do you want to do?

Bill: I don’t know…what do you want to do?

Walter: I don’t know…

(Pause)

Bill: What a boring weekend…

Walter: Yeah, just like last weekend…and the one before that…and the one before that…

(Pause)

Bill: This town sucks.

Walter: I know, Bill.

Bill: Well…can’t we do anything about it?

Walter: Nope.

Bill: What? That can’t be…

Walter: It is.

Bill: But…but…there must be some way we can get out of this dead zone…

Walter: (turns from the computer) And where would we go, Bill? Where would we go? There’s nothing out there for us…we’re trapped…we can’t get out of here, Bill. (turns back to the computer)

Bill: But…but, if we stay here, we’ll die!

Walter: (Turns back to face Bill) What do you mean?

Bill: You know what I mean. We’ll become like them. Like our parents.

Walter: That won’t happen…

Bill: Yes, it will, and you know it! We’ll die in our minds if we don’t get out of here!

Walter: (Angrily) Then we’ll just have to die! What do you expect to do, Bill? Just get in the car and start driving? We don’t have any money…any bank accounts…we wouldn’t survive a month out there! We’re stuck here, Bill, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

(Pause)

Walter: You know, Bill…when I was younger, I… I would always look out the window in the morning, watching all those middle-aged men in suits, trudging off to work every single day. They looked so sad…running in the freezing cold, dragging their heavy briefcases, hurrying to catch the bus into the city. I would always think to myself, "Why don’t they do something more fun with their lives?" And it wasn’t until now that I realized something…

Bill: What?

(Pause)

Walter: They were thinking the exact same thing.

(Lights go out)

(Scene changes back to living room, yet slightly different. Things are reorganized, some of the furniture is different, etc. It is apparent that this is someone else’s house.)

(Todd, 16 years old, sits on a stool at the front of the stage, a little off to the side. He’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt, with an ordinary haircut)

(The lights go up over Todd)

Todd: Hi. I’m Todd. I’m your average teenager, living an average life, with an average family, in an average house, in an average town. It’s really boring, being so average…but it’s just the way things are. This is my house (lights go up over living room). This is my family. (Father, Mother, 2 little brothers enter from stage left, through door. They hang up their coats. The children start chasing each other around the room, playing with toys, etc. Mother crosses stage, dodging the kids, and exits through kitchen door. Father sits down on the couch and starts watching TV) Yep. A pretty average family. I’ve got my two little brothers, Michael and Tommy, my mom, Margaret, and then there’s my father… (looks toward his father on the couch, then back to audience)…Walter. (This name echoes and slowly fades away as the lights go down and the curtain closes)