Lost Girl Mom used to call me angel. We were a real family back then until dad died in a car crash on the way back from work. A drunk driver killed him when I was 10. Mom had it really tough until she met a guy and married him. She said we would be better off and she could take better care of me, but it didn't work out. My stepdad lost his job and settled for something he hated doing that didn't pay as much. So, he took to drinking and when that happened, him and mom argued. Sometimes he even hit mom and sometimes she threw things at him, especially when he would come after me. Mom said Steve had an Irish temper that got the best of him whenever he drank too much. But she loved him and I hated him. On my fifteenth birthday at night, dad was drinking and got into it with mom. She told me to go upstairs and lock the bedroom door, but dad said he would get me later. I was scared and I was sick of being scared. So, I found my gym bag and stuffed it with some clothes. I had a bag of chips, I remember, and some candy bars, too. Steve kept money hidden away in an old smelly sock of his that he thought I didn't know about.It was his drinking money. What I didn't know was that Steve had about $500 in that sock and I took it all. The less he would drink, the less he would hurt mom, I figured. Steve treated mom all right when he was sober, even me. But his drinking was bad. I heard them yelling that night and things were breaking downstairs. I wore jeans and a jean jacket and took mom's diamond ring, too. She couldn't wear it anymore because her fingers got too big and I might need to sell it, I figured. I also took some of mom's hair dye that she kept in the bathroom. See, I watched runaway shows--they were my favorite--because if things got too bad, I knew I could run away. So I know about how the cops look for you, I know what they watch, so I knew how to stay low and hidden. Mom was crying when I opened my bedroom window. I will never forget that. He hurt her again. That made my stomach hurt, too. I threw my gym bag onto the porch roof and climbed out the window, closing it behind me. I looked around because sometimes the neighbors would peek out their windows when they heard Steve yelling. Nobody was watching; guess they got use to it. The gym bag went off the roof first because it was mostly filled with clothes and I could land on it when I jumped. And I did. I jumped, looked around, and ran down the street until I got two or three blocks away. I can't remember now. That first night I was so scared. I was cold and hungry, so I ate the whole bag of chips while I kept walking. Whenever a car came down the street I always found some bushes to hide behind in case the police were cruising by. To get out of the wind I went on somebody's porch and found a dark corner to hide in. I slept there after eating candy bars and Milk Duds I packed at home. That morning, I woke up because a man in a business suit was shaking me. He asked who I was and where I lived, but I just ran before he could do anything. I ran to another block and saw a garage with an open door and bikes hanging from a wall. I picked out a light blue one, a boy's bike, and took it. I left some money because I know that stealing's wrong. But not when I stole from Steve--stealing drunk money isn't stealing, I don't think. But I did take mom's ring and someday I will pay her back, I swear it. Anyway, I rode that bike all the way to the city limits where I found a small carry-out and bought some tuna in pouches, some canned meat and a carton of milk, bread and chips. I rode until I was out of the city and kept riding until just before dark. In a 7/11 store I went in the bathroom and dyed my hair. It came out really reddish, which was good. I also put it up in a pony tail and it changed my looks big time. That night, I slept in a big old barn not too far out of town. It was spooky and I forgot to buy some plastic forks and knives, I remembered. Well, I used the key to open a can of meat and used the top to scoop it out. I never can forget that first night away from home. I cried and cried, and cried some more when I woke up in the middle of the night. As soon as the sun came up I was riding the bike until I got a flat. I know what I should have done now, but it' too late for me. I should have got help for mom and Steve, maybe get him some help to stop drinking, but I didn't. Now, here I am.I see people are watching me and that gets me nervous when people watch me. I don't want to get sent away to one of those schools. I will write again, soon. I'm scared and lonely. Abbie Hi, I'm back again. I knew that I had to get far away from my home town because everybody would be looking for me. It was raining and it reminded me of how I felt inside; gray as the sorrowful skies, and cold as my stepfather's heart. My clothes were soaked through and I had to get out of the rain. I saw a pickup truck in someone's driveway with a covered back, a tarp, I think it's called. I crawled inside, way in front where there were some sheets and things to cover up in. It was dry and dark, and the rain sounded like marbles falling in a coffee can, it was so loud. I asked God to watch over me with a guardian angel. I went to a Catholic school when dad was alive and we learned about guardian angels. Sometimes, in that special place between sleep and awake, you can see your guardian angel way in the corner of your eye. If you turn to look, the angel is gone because you're not supposed to look directly at your angel. But I think I know what mine looks like. He's tall with long blond hair that flows down to his shoulders and blue eyes. Looking into his eyes would be like looking into a deep blue ocean. I remember falling asleep dreaming about my angel. Sometime later, I woke up and the pickup truck was moving. I was really scared again because I didn't know if it was taking me back to my home town. I pushed hard up on the tarp so I could peek out and saw ice cream castles, a giant doing cartwheels and a magician fighting a great dragon. They were only clouds swimming in a blue kingdom. I wished that I was up there, in the clouds, with the magician, the ice-cream candles, the giant and my guardian angel. I'm having second thoughts already, about calling mom and asking her forgiveness so that I can go home. But then I think about Steve, my stepdad. I can't go back to him. I have to see where this truck is taking me. It is not going back to my town. I don't even know where it was going, I remember. I hugged the gym bag and fell asleep again. Later, I had to find a bathroom and the pickup truck pulled into a gas station. I was so scared when the man was putting gas in his truck it sounded so close and I was worried that he might raise the tarp and somehow see me. My heart was beating so loud; could he hear it? He finnished adding gas and screwed the cap back on. When I heard him walking away I peeked and saw that he was going towards the place where you pay. I grabbed my gym bag and crawled out the back of the pickup. The sun was so bright that it hurt my eyes, I remembered, and I walked towards the little convenience store carrying my gym bag. I even passed the guy that was driving that truck. He was short, with really tanned skin and sand-colored hair. He just looked at me and nodded and even held the door for me while I went inside. I went into the bathroom and splashed water on my face because I was dirty from being in his truck and smelled like straw or hay or something. I looked in the mirror and started crying again.
Copyright © 2004 Abbie Angel |