Good Or Evil GOOD OR EVIL “No! What are you saying, you’re crazy?” Mary told her boyfriend Hans. “ You told me you didn’t wanted to go out with me because you were going to Jenny’s house” He answered angrily. “ I know, but she decided to go to the movies and I went along” I said, “ What is wrong with that?” “Well, you didn’t tell me and went out with all my friends to the movies!” He answered, “ And then to the disco? How could you??” “What was I supposed to do, walk back home alone?” I asked. “You knew I was home, you could have called me,” He suggested. “ But I didn’t and that’s it, okay!?” I yelled furiously and went to the girl’s bathroom. I don’t know what to do with Hans, he wants me to depend on him all the time, but that is so boring. I do love him, but I guess I can spend some time with my friends too. He thinks he is the only one in my life but he’s definitely not. The day before yesterday my best friend Jenny invited me to her house. Hans asked me out afterward, and I told him I had already plans. He was a little disappointed but he didn’t care. That night we went to the movies and met Hans’s friends there. We decided to go to the disco, and I know I didn’t call him and it was my fault, but I had a great time. His stupid friends told him about the fabulous Saturday night and he’s so mad with me. I guess I should apologize, but during Lunch because I must go to Math class now. During lunch, I told him I was sorry I hadn’t called, and that he should understand I don’t have to all the time. He said I was right, but he was very jealous because I was with his friends having fun and not with him. I told him I would have preferred being with him too, but it was impossible. Then he gave me a great kiss and I knew we had forgiven me. “ So, do you want to go to the movies this Friday?” he asked me. “That would be wonderful, but I have to ask my parents first,” I answered. “I’ll call you tonight, okay.” “That’s fine, “ he said. I went to my next class that was biology and then went home. I waited for my parents to get home. “ Hey, mom,” I said, ”How are you?” “ I’m fine, how was school?” She asked. “Ok,” I said, “ Do you think I could go to the movies on Friday with Hans?” “ You know I don’t like you watching movies in cars, but I guess you can,” She answered. “You have been a good girl lately, but remember I won’t let you go often. Remember you are just 16 years old and you know what people do in those places.” “ Come on mom,” I said. “ Okay, thanks!!” I went to my room and called Hans to tell him the good news. I didn’t do anything strange that week in school like usual. At home I was like an angel because I was looking forward on Friday and didn’t want my mom to change her mind. On Friday I got home early and started getting ready. I had a hot bath in my new Jacuzzi and then went to the beauty parlor to do my nails. I wore a short black skirt and my favorite red blouse. At 7:30 Hans came to pick me up in his new van. We went to the drive-in theater and parked in the back. The movie began, and it was quite interesting. Hans then told me we would see better and be more comfortable in the back of the van. I agreed, and we went back. He then started kissing me, but I refused. “ Let me see the movie!” I told him. “ So that’s it, you don’t love me, do you?” He asked. “ Off course I do!” “ I’m not sure, you never demonstrate it,” he said. “ What do you mean?” I said. “ What do you want me to do to?” “The only way you can prove to me you really love me is by making love with me, but I know you won’t do it. You’re in love with one of my friends aren’t you? What did you really do a week ago? You just went to the disco?” ”You’re crazy, I only love you. And if that is what it takes to show you I love you, I’ll do it!” I said feeling guilty. I know it is wrong, but I love him and I must make it up to him, I thought while we started kissing again. I don’t want to do this, but I guess it is my obligation. But what if he doesn’t have protection, I said to my self. OH, I am so nervous. We took our clothes off and had sex there, in the back of the van. To be sincere it was kind of nice, but I cannot believe I did it for the first time already, and without protection! He didn’t have any, but I couldn’t stop him after I had already told him yes and actually started! I am too young to become pregnant and I’m sure god has a very big heart and will be in my side. I’m sure he wouldn’t like to see a 16-year old girl already pregnant. However, I must buy a pregnancy test to be sure. Or better, I’ll wait first to see if I get my period, which I’m supposed to get in two weeks. Next day I woke up late and called Hans. He told me how great it had been last night and that he loved me immensely. I told him I did too. I did my homework and at night I went out with my parents for dinner. On Sunday I went to Jenny’s house again for the day and then to bed early because I had a big exam next day. Two weeks later, I woke up nauseous and with fever so I didn’t go to school. Since I didn’t get my period, I waited for my parents to leave for work and went to the drugstore to buy the pregnancy test. I am very punctual with my period, and want be sure I’m not pregnant. At got home I read the instructions, did it, and waited for the answer. “OH MY GOD! I’M PREGNANT!!!!! What am I going to do??????? My parents are going to kill and what will I do with this baby?? I know, I won’t tell any one and abort. No wait, I must at least tell Hans.” I went running out to his house, which is two blocks away and told him everything. He was as amazed as I was, it was such a confusion. After a long silence, he told me, “ Oh no, I will not be part of this problem, you will not blame me for this. Get out of my house now! I don’t want to see you again. It is your problem now, not mine!” he said “ Oh! You immature creature, how can you do this to me!” I yelled and ran out of the house. When I got home, my mom was waiting for me in the front door with the pregnancy test in her hands, I panicked. “Why didn’t you tell me! I warned you, what are we going to do now?” she said angrily. I started crying and said, “ I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what I was doing” “This is very serious you know that, don’t you? It is a very big responsibility and I’m not sure I want to help you.” She stood up and went away. When my dad got home he went to my room and gave me a great speech about values. Then I heard him talking with my mom, but I didn’t want to hear. I cried and until I felt asleep, but I don’t know at what time it was. When I woke up next morning my mom was sitting in my bed. We talked about the only three choices I had: having the child, aborting, or having it and giving it in adoption. I told her I was too young to have the baby and I wanted to study before having one. I told her I wanted to abort and she said she would back me up. We called the doctor to make and appointment for tomorrow at 10:00 am. Next day, I went to the hospital and as soon it was time for the operation I regretted. “NO! WAIT! I’m not sure I want this anymore, I think this baby has the right to live.” I told my mom. “ Well, I don’t know, this is a big responsibility. But you’re right, you must deal with the consequences, and it is not the baby’s fault,” She answered, “We will support you if that’s your decision.” “ Yes, mom, I’ve decided to have the baby, let’s go,” “Sorry doctor, it is her decision, so we’ll see you in one month to check Mary.” My mom told Dr. Kensal. It was very hard going back to school because studying in the internet is definitely not the same as being in class. The baby was born on December and Hans never assumed any responsibility for her. Oh, it was a girl. My parents supported me in every way and I am very grateful for them. I wouldn’t have made it without their help. They are really nice and with their help too, I am coming over this moment of my life and Michelle is growing very fast. We are a happy family now, but believe me I learned a lesson. This was the biggest mistake of my life and I hope you won’t do anything similar after you read this story. Without their help, I would have been impossible.
Copyright © 2000 Alejandra Herrera |