Fear And Obsession (1) Six weeks into her last semester as an undergraduate at Brooklyn College, Rachel Brown, 23, is at its Enrollment Services Center and tells Taylor, the agent behind the counter, “Hi, I want to file for graduation.” “What’s your name?” he asks. She gives it. He looks up her school profile on his computer and says, “You are getting a Bachelor’s Degree in Early Childhood Education?” She happily says, “Yes, I’ve always to be a grade school teacher.” He gives her a stack of papers from under the counter and says, “What are your future plans?” She says, “I hope to get a job at a nearby school, then study for a Master’s in Education at Rutgers or Harvard.” “Ah nice, I wish you all the best,” he says. Rachel thanks him. They wave “bye” to each other, as she leaves. Later, while approaching the School of Education Dean’s (April Bedford) office, she sees in the distance her best friend Hanna Gray, a 23-year-old senior too, making out with 19-year-old freshman Lindsay Fei with him on a wall. They kiss, pant, and whisper how much they love each other and doing this. She holds his face as he holds her chest and buttocks. Rachel looks appalled and enters the office. She goes to Bedford, sitting at her desk, to hand her the papers Taylor gave her. Bedford signs them and congratulates Rachel, who thanks her and leaves. In the hallway she looks toward where she saw Hanna and Lindsay making love, but they are gone and she is upset. At their Gerritsen Beach house that evening, Lindsay is on their bed while Hanna is in the restroom washing her face when her phone on the adjacent counter rings. She picks it up, saying, “Hi, Rachel.” Rachel, driving home from work at a local library talks with a headset linked to her phone on the mirror and says, “Do you have a secret boyfriend you never told me about?” Hanna says, “It’s not really a secret, as he’s been in your Physics class since fall.” Rachel says, “I know, but you never told me you guys were dating.” Hanna asks, “Am I supposed to tell you everything about me?” Rachel says, “Yes we’ve been best friends since 2nd grade, so we should always keep each other up-to-date. I was shocked after I saw you and Lindsay lip-locking in school today and would have said hi if I wasn’t in a rush to file for graduation.” Hanna asks, “What’s your point?” Rachel asks, “Why are you dating that loser?” “Why are you calling him that?” Hanna yells. “He is slim, dorky, and not handsome,” Rachel says. Hanna says, “He is smart and brains are so hot.” Rachel says, “But he…” Hanna interrupts saying, “And wouldn’t you have failed Physics last semester if he didn’t help you with formulas?” Rachel says, “Yes, but…” Hanna cuts her and says, “As my best friend you must always support me even if we disagree.” Rachel says, “I know and…” Hanna cuts her again, saying, “Oh and do you know what I love most about Lindsay? He does everything I tell him to do, and makes me feel like a queen. In exchange I give him my sexy body.” Her sentence silences Rachel. Lindsay shouts, “Hey Hanna, what is taking so long?!” She tells Rachel, “I have to go. Lindsay’s whining for me to join him in bed. Bye-bye,” and hangs up. Rachel takes off her headset still driving in shock. Hanna takes off her pants, puts it in the closet’s hanger and dries her face with a towel. She turns off the restroom and hallway lights and heads to the bedroom, taking off her shirt along the way. In just a tank top and panties, she hangs it on a hook in the room and Lindsay asks, “You’re not going nude tonight?” She says, “It is a bit chilly baby. You don’t want me to get sick do you?” “Oh right,” he says as she puts her phone by the bed and lays face-up next to him. He lies sideways with his arms across her torso and head on her breast as she puts an arm across his neck and both hands on his shoulder. They kiss before he kisses her neck and chin, asking, “So who were you just talking to?” “Rachel,” she says. He pulls back and asks, “What did she want?” She says, “She got angry after seeing us make out at school today and thinks you are ugly, geeky and a bad boyfriend.” He says, “What? But she is your BFF and I helped her pass Physics last semester!” She replies, “I know, that’s why I told her off.” “Oh nice, but I hope this won’t affect your friendship,” he says. “I am sure it will not,” she says. They kiss again until he sleeps with his head on her chest. She turns off the light, kisses him and sleeps too. Rachel, meanwhile, can’t get Hanna saying, “He does everything I tell him to do,” out of her head. She tries to ease with a warm bath at home, but in the tub starts to fear that Hanna will hurt Lindsay due to her controlling behavior. She recalls three years earlier when she and Hanna ran a daycare together. 10 children one day were playing at the front yard play sets when Hanna called them in for supper. Upon seeing the food on the kitchen table, a girl, Irina, said, “Ew, what is this stuff?” Hanna said, “It is squash, string beans, carrots, and broccoli.” A boy, Elisha said, “This is nasty!” Hanna said, “It’s good for you!” A girl, Jodie said, “I don’t want to eat this trash.” Hanna said, “It’s not trash and you will eat it!” The kids whimpered in disgust as Rachel entered asking, “What is going on here?” Xandra, a girl, said, “Hanna is being a big meanie!” Hanna said, “No, I am teaching you to eat healthy.” A girl, Yvonne asked, “Do you have any fries or chips?” Rachel said they did, but Hanna stopped her from going to the refrigerator and said, “No, these kids need their vegetables.” The kids whined and Hanna told them, “It’s this or nothing.” They did not stop as she went to Elisha and shoved his fork full of food into his mouth to frighten them. She asked, “Now are you going to eat what I made or do I have to make you?” The kids began to eat. Rachel left the kitchen angrily. A week later, 15 children sat on the floor in the living room watching TV when Hanna, carrying a book, shut it off and said, “Kids, story time.” The kids got upset as a girl Dani stood up saying, “We want to watch more TV!” They cheered for her and Hanna said, “Too much TV is bad for you.” They kept whining, making her yell, “Do as I say and come with me!!” The kids got up and went to her, but a boy, Quentin ran to the remote to turn the TV back on. Hanna ran to him, took the remote, shut it off, and carried him to the other kids, during which he kicked and screamed, saying, “I hate you!” Hanna said, “Don’t say that and stop kicking me!” put him down and told him, “No more TV or toys for you for today and this goes for anyone that doesn’t listen to me got it?” The kids nodded and she said, “Good, now everyone, sit in a circle,” as the kids sit on the floor around a chair that Hanna sat on. Rachel saw this from the kitchen and went to her, saying, “What’s with you? You’re so specific on what they can do, eat and play with and get angry if they don’t listen.” Hanna stood up and said, “They have to learn to be obedient.” “Yelling at them is not the answer!” Rachel said. Hanna said, “Neither is pampering them always!” Rachel said, “Our business will fail if you keep doing this.” “The kids will grow up bad if we do not teach them about life,” Hanna said “We are supposed to be partners, but you act like you are in charge of this,” Rachel said. Hanna yelled, “Because you are not doing enough.” Their constant fighting over her rules caused the daycare to close after two months. Hanna did not care. Rachel’s worry on Lindsay rises after seeing cuts in his face at their next lab meeting four days later (they are in a group with two other students, Susie and Tiffanie). As they set up a ramp for an acceleration experiment on the floor by their table, she asks him, “What occurred to you?” He says, “I had a horrible itch this past weekend and just scratched it too hard.” She asks, “How the hell is that possible?” “Can we please just focus on the experiment?” he asks back. She says, “But I really need an…,” before Professor Sophia Suarez approaches them asking, “Is there a problem you two?” “No professor,” Rachel says as Suarez walks off and they continue with the lab. Her worries rise after he comes to lecture class three days later with more cuts and bruises in his face and arms. Sitting right behind him to his left, she leans forward and taps his arm with her pen in hopes of getting his attention as the professor Peter Lesser lectures in the room’s front. He turns to her after a few taps and says, “What is it Rachel?” She asks, “Why did you get more cuts and scrapes on you?” He says, “Oh I uh…,” but Lesser catches them asking, “Lindsay, Rachel, is there something you want to share to the class?” “No,” Rachel says as she and Lindsay lean back to face the room’s front. Some classmates stare at them and chuckle or shake their heads. “Please no private conversations while I am teaching.” Lesser says. Lindsay nods at him. He resumes his lecture and later asks several questions to the class. Students Beverly, a boy, and Gabrielle, a girl each answer one correctly, but Lindsay does not answer any, worrying Rachel. She wants to talk to him about this after class ends, but he has left when she is done putting her books in her purse. She runs out of the room and down the halls, but cannot find him, leaving her mad. In the next lecture the students pass up their homework to Lesser. Rachel sees Lindsay not giving in his and more injuries on him, worrying her more. Days later, a friend Audrey Dawson celebrates her 24th birthday with big party at her home. As other goers eat, drink, socialize and have fun, Rachel unhappily sits at a couch alone. Susie and Tiffanie sit at another sofa feeding each other cake and tongue kissing and licking each other’s lips. Audrey goes to Rachel asking if she is fine. “Oh yes, just thinking of lots of things like friends, school, and what to do after I get my degree,” she says. Audrey says, “Oh, you are graduating soon.” Rachel says, “Yes.” “Don’t worry, everyone has that feeling when they finish school. After I graduated two years ago, I was scared my degree would not help me, but with a bit of research and effort I was able to land a good job and save up for grad school, wherever that will be.” Audrey says, “Oh good,” Rachel says. “At least you have a career in mind,” Audrey says. Rachel says, “Yes.” Audrey says, “You will get a good job, man, and wonderful life soon.” “I hope,” Rachel says. “Well thanks for at least coming,” Audrey says. Rachel nods as the doorbell rings. Audrey goes to open the front door. A group of people shout, “Surprise!! Happy birthday!” Audrey screams, “Oh god! Thanks for coming! Let me show you around!!” and takes them in. Susie and Tiffanie drink from a cup, then make out feeling each other’s bodies. Rachel suddenly sees Lindsay by the back door, goes to him and asks, “Hey, why are you here? You don’t go to parties like this.” He points to Hanna with a gang of people on the room’s other side saying, “She dragged me here as she never wants to get her eyes off me.” “You mean literally?” Rachel asks. “Yes the only place I’m not physically with her is school?” he says. “Isn’t that creepy?” Rachel asks. He asks, “I wonder what is creepier, her being by me all the time or me being in a party for someone I don’t know. In fact, I know no one here except you and Hanna.” They are interrupted by a group yelling at two women undressing and making out in the opposite corner. Another girl briefly twerks by Lindsay. “It’s official, this is the worst place I have ever been to,” he says. Rachel says, “Hey, we need to talk.” He asks, “About what?” Rachel says, “Well lately, I’ve noticed….” Hanna goes to Lindsay tipsy, kisses him, and says, “Oh there you are. You shouldn’t have run off like that.” “I needed some fresh air,” he says. She says, “But you know how I feel…,” then sees Rachel and says, “Oh hi, how are you?” Rachel says, “Good.” “Same here; love my baby a lot,” Hanna says. Rachel replies, “I know, but miss being with you.” Hanna says, “We will hang out soon, but I hope you weren’t meddling in my relationship again.” “Oh no,” Rachel says as Hanna says, “Good, he’s mine, no one else’s,” then takes Lindsay away. A week later Rachel lies in bed talking on the phone to another friend Charlene Perez, 21. “I’ve been worried about a Physics classmate Lindsay. He is Hanna’s boyfriend and has not been himself the last two weeks. He never raised his hand to solve our professor’s questions or did the homework, which he always did as he’s good at Physics,” she says. Charlene says, “That doesn’t alarm me. Maybe he’s busy with other stuff. A relationship needs time.” Rachel says, “I also saw cuts and bruises on him like someone has been beating him. No one in class has said anything, as they are not close to him.” “That’s odd. Why don’t you just talk to him about it?” Charlene asks. Rachel says, “He has another course after Physics, both lab and lecture, so he always runs out of the room before I could do anything, our professors have a strict “No talking in class” rule and our lab mates are total clowns.” Charlene says, “I hope Hanna is not the reason for Lindsay’s behavioral changes.” Rachel says, “Yes me neither, I’d go nuts!” Charlene says, “You can talk to her about it.” Rachel says, “She hates it when I get into her business and Lindsay is with her like every day. I wish I could take him from her so we can talk in private.” Charlene says, “Oh I can’t help you there,” then after a pause says, “Hey, I have to go.” Rachel says, “Sure, promise me you won’t tell anyone of my worries on Lindsay” Charlene says, “Okay I promise.” They say, “Bye,” to each other and hang up. Rachel lies on her bed in agony, then suddenly remembers something. She gets off, looks at her Physics syllabus in her purse, and sees there will be a test in two days. She calls Hanna, who lies on her bed in a corset and Lindsay sits with his head between her thighs going down on her. She picks up her phone when it rings and says, “Hello.” Rachel asks if Lindsay is there. “He’s busy now,” Hanna says. Rachel hears her joyful yelling and asks, “Uh are you two having…” “Yes and I’d appreciate it if you leave us alone,” Hanna says. Rachel says, “I was just hoping he can help me with Physics since we have a test on Tuesday.” Hanna says, “I’ll have him call you in an hour.” “Okay,” Rachel says, hanging up and twitching in disgust over the bad timing. Lindsay kisses Hanna’s buttocks and fingers her vagina as she says, “That’s it baby!” Lindsay calls Rachel on his cell and says, “Hey, you need help with Tuesday’s test?” She replies, “Yes, but first, why did you get more bruises and cuts on you?” “Did I not tell you how I got them?” he asks, as he sits by a desk with a Physics textbook on it in the room. She says, “I’ve have never met anyone that scratches themselves so hard they bleed from it. What’s Hanna doing about them?” He says, “A lot, she knows how to fix them.” He sees her going to him in a bra and panties and asks Rachel, “Can we just get to studying?” She asks, “Why?” before hearing kissing noises over the speaker. Hanna stands by Lindsay kissing his face. He says to her, “I am trying to help Rachel.” “But I want to make love again,” she replies. “Masturbate on the bed or something. We’ll do that after I finish,” he says and she does after saying, “Okay.” Hearing this and Hanna’s orgasms, Rachel is upset her plan failed as Lindsay asks her, “What do you need help with?” She sits at her desk, opens and goes through her textbook and says, “Chapter 13, Newton’s three laws of motion.” Lindsay opens his book to the chapter and works with her as Hanna still masturbates. At work the next day Rachel looks at the books on the shelves when she sees Ottavia, her mom at the front door with a gift and waving at her. Shocked she goes to her and asks why she is here. She says, “To give you a gift for finishing college and taking the next step in pursuing your teaching dreams.” Rachel asks, “You drove here from New Jersey just to give that to me?” “I can stay until you graduate. I can’t wait to see you on stage in a cap and gown to take your diploma,” Ottavia says. Rachel says, “The semester goes on for another six weeks. I got midterms soon and you know I prefer living alone.” Ottavia says, “In a home meant for at least two?” “Yeah it keeps things quiet you know,” Rachel says. Ottavia asks about Hanna. Rachel says, “She’s fine, but has a boyfriend.” Ottavia grins and says, “Oh great, when will you get one?” “When I’m ready. Now I want to focus on school and finding a better job,” Rachel says annoyingly. “You do not like this one?” Ottavia asks. Rachel says, “I do, but I need one with more pay as I cannot keep having you help pay my home mortgage and bills for life.” Ottavia says, “Oh yes, I hope you succeed” “How is dad,” Rachel asks. Ottavia says, “At work, he’s done lots of overtime since a coworker hurt his back last month.” Rachel says, “Dear, I hope dad doesn’t hurt his. Carrying logs wears you down a lot,” Rachel says. “Yes, he still will be at your graduation,” Ottavia says. Rachel looks relieved, then a fellow employee, Nikita whistles and beckons at her from the 2nd floor stairs. Rachel takes Ottavia’s gift. They kiss and bid each other farewell, then Ottavia leaves as Rachel goes to Nikita and the kids she is with. She tells her about Ottavia and the gift as they and the kids enter a room. Rachel the next day breezes on the test, but notices Lindsay biting his finger and shaking. Worried, she whispers his name twice, he turns to her and she asks, “Are you okay?” He is about to reply, but Lesser spots them from his desk and says, “Hey, no talking.” They look back at their tests. After Rachel is done, she grabs her bag and coat, goes to give Lesser her test and leaves the room, but seeing Lindsay still struggling with it, waits outside, hoping he will finish soon so they can talk. Other students one by one come out as she gets worried and looks at her watch nonstop. Lindsay finally comes out after 20 minutes, sees Rachel and asks, “Oh what’s up?” as she asks, “Are you okay?” He says, “Yes why?” “You looked like you had a tough time with the test, which is odd as you’re a Physics genius and usually the first to finish,” she says. He says, “A few questions caught me off guard.” She says, “How? You tutored me two nights ago, acting like you knew everything that would be in the test. I’ll surely pass because of you.” He says, “That’s good to hear. I guess I had other stuff in my mind and failed to remember what I studied.” “What other stuff?” she asks. “I don’t know how to explain it,” he replies. She asks, “How come you have not done the homework nor take part in class discussions lately?” He says, “I’ve been busy satisfying Hanna so she can make me happy.” She says, “Oh I hope she does love you and won’t get mad if you do not follow her orders.” “What do you mean?” he asks. She holds his bruised left hand and says, “I mean you look like someone beat you up very bad. Did Hanna do this?” He lets go of her saying, “No. I am a clutz. I hurt myself trying to cook, clean around, and things like that. Why do you feel Hanna is hurting me?” She says, “She told me she likes that you always listen to her and do whatever she says. I’m worried she’s using you and will get controlling or abusive if you keep this up.” He says, “That is nuts. She is a great girl who treats me better than my own family and I like kissing her lovely body when we make love.” Realizing what Hanna meant when she said, “I give him my body,” Rachel asks, “Oh you love having sex with tall, athletic girls like her?” “Yes she fits my physical preferences for a woman perfectly. Why are you angry we’re dating? Hanna told me you think I am a loser.” He asks. Rachel holds his face, yelling, “Forget what I think and FYI, I’m not mad. I am really concerned about your safety!” He says, “Don’t worry, I am okay,” and takes her hands off his face, then looks at his watch and says, “Look, I have to get to my next class. I will see you on Thursday, okay? Later.” He pats her arm and leaves as she looks worried.
Copyright © 2014 Winson Thai |