What Nursing Taught Me About Life And Death by Natalie Hallworth - [2,108 words]
Truth by Adele Staufer The story of the influence of my Grand-parents' lakefront plot on my childhood. [861 words]
Shots And Sticks by Sarah O'Farrell A Diabetic's Journey. [1,279 words]
Oh Australia, How I Hate Thee by Thepratmeister Let me count the ways... [505 words]
My First Break by Mike Raudenbush This is a non-fiction story about the first time I broke a bone. It is short and fast. With a fe... [992 words]
Life On High by Rose Reitman This peice describes my year long experience of getting high. I became accustomed to releasing fro... [1,414 words]
Vitry-Sur-Seine Half-Marathon - April 23, 2006 by Terry Kaufman After running the Paris Half-Marathon over a month ago, I decide... [777 words]
Purge - Goodbye by Briony Carvalho - [487 words]
Paris Half-Marathon - March 5, 2006 by Terry Kaufman 5 months of regular training. Knee, ankle, and ligament injuries. 21.1 ki... [940 words]
The Burglar, My Husband And I by Amarjit Bhambra This actually happened, Its also good to have a laugh about it. [243 words]
Stormy Petrels by Denise Clement Short true story based on my Hysler family tree. My paternal family of Duval Co. Florida. From 1... [7,856 words]
Kitty Kissses: The Silent Treatment by Shelley J Alongi Brandy tells me just what she thinks of going to the vet. [1,231 words]
Kitty Kisses: Our Little Brandy by Shelley J Alongi Tales of a little kitten. [1,366 words]
Test Of Friendship by Lady Sashi Like all good stories, it’s best to start at the beginning, which is where we find ourselves... [1,117 words]
Out With The Old, In With The Young by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister gives his overview of 2005, and what he expects for 2006. [525 words]
Heteros, Homos, Celibacy And The Church by Randall Barfield Are we going back to the time of the Crusades? [590 words]
David's Letter--Bogota, Colombia by Randall Barfield This is a true incident. It is not fiction. [551 words]
The Pratmeister's Guide To Australia by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister gives you the unofficial history of the Aussies. [379 words]
Assholes by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister is in a mood. Again. [150 words]
Shame Para Hills High School, Shame! by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister has a gutless bunch of High School bureaucratic tosspots f... [191 words]
Book Of Shadows: Diary Of A Witch by Lady Sashi Written below are the accounts and experiences of a real, live Witch, in her ... [744 words]
My Letter To Anne Frank by Alvin Gladstone My small token of love & respect to the little angel. [304 words]
Kitty Kisses: Whose Bed Is It Anyway by Shelley J Alongi The family bed cat style. [750 words]
Kitty Kisses: Peter Jennings And Cat Company by Shelley J Alongi Amusing tales of cats just when you need them. [789 words]
In Thoughts And Prayers by Dawn Matley Maselli The Warwick Station Fire so strongly affected our community. To friends, neighbors and ... [179 words]
Fever Dreams And Memories by Lawrence Peters My first ghost story. [649 words]
Daemons by Randall Barfield Isn't British spelling more elegant sometimes? This piece of writing is about demons. We all have one... [2,678 words]
Rant Of The Week by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister tells it like it is on the hot topics of the day. [796 words]
Prudes by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister feels a rant coming on again. Oh dear. [355 words]
Perverts by Thepratmeister The world is going insane - but the pratmeister will reassure you you're not alone in thinking so. [322 words]
Nicole Cornes Can Suck My Balls by Thepratmeister The pratmeister gently points out to a "Sunday Mail" columnist where she is goi... [535 words]
My Parents And Myself by Carla Thomson It's basicly me bitching about my parents. [1,277 words]
Kitty Kisses: Licking The Hand That Feeds You by Shelley J Alongi Here's to many more lickings. [1,019 words]
Kitty Kisses Entry Two by Shelley J Alongi Formula One cat feeding. [658 words]
Kitty Kisses Entry One by Shelley J Alongi Shelley's life with her two cats. [957 words]
Kitty Kisses: Don't Fence Me In by Shelley J Alongi Flee meds, the closet, and the nineteenth century frontier. [1,089 words]
Australian Suck! by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister gives you the lowdown on the worst country in the world. [665 words]
Amelia Frid - Interview With Neighbours Actress by Ian Kidd In 2004 I had the pleasure of interviewing former "Neighbours" ... [1,244 words]
A Dream Comes True by Randall Barfield This is nostalgia and reflection. It's a short piece of writing dedicated to young Rodger W... [951 words]
Things People Do by Vivek Yadav This is my first attempt at writing. I hope improve as I go along. [497 words]
Cutting Myself by Khalif M Joyce Touch me once more, before my life ends soon. [206 words]
Photons
Hidden Life Of The Author by Aryka This writing will mainly involve my life and how and let the reader possibly see the ... [222 words]
Tony's Unbirthday Party by Shelley J Alongi My birthday visit with Tony. [1,150 words]
Reach For The Sky by Shelley J Alongi On Saturday March 19, 2005, I gave this speech at our Toastmasters division D contest. It's a... [588 words]
My Worst Purchase by L Nelson This story is of when I accidentally spat in my brother's ear. [329 words]
Song Of Cy: Understanding Grief by Katlyn Stewart A parent's worst nightmare has become reality in Song Of Cy. A beautiful life c... [1,695 words]
Nightmares Echo by Katlyn Stewart Synopsis- Even as a young girl she knew she was different, knew she had secrets that must be hi... [901 words]
The Literary Cold War by Riot - [714 words]
My Last Day by G N Suicide. [495 words]
Mr Pearls by Gary R Hoffman This is the story of too many people in our world. [952 words]
Lunch With A Soldier by Dan Styles The saddest thing I'v ever heard. [125 words]
Jason Sucrut's Sons by G David Schwartz A short piece. [818 words]
The Black Sheep Of Mahee's Family by Patricia Lynn This is just a moment In my time of quiet leisure that I usually write reason... [1,191 words]
My First D by Morgan A Brennan A short piece. [959 words]
From Monster To Freshman by Sarah M Kaul Character Sketch of my brother. [3,252 words]
A Journal Entry For The Reviewer by Bradley Grimes This is my journal entry for Monday January 10th, 2005. [237 words]
Where Soldiers Cry by Steven L Howard A Christmas story that's probably not like any you've heard before. [767 words]
Every Breath You Take by Steven L Howard A letter to my children: In two separate accidents, two families of our friends buried a ... [410 words]
Dad's Here To Play by Steven L Howard Can we become so busy and self-absorbed that there is no time for the things that matter mos... [2,049 words]
The Beagle by Amber A Whitman A short piece. [489 words]
Happens All The Time by Lucy Midnight - [530 words]
Confessions Of A Caffeine Junkie by Nancy Rider About my encounter with a young cashier at KFC. I tried to be a positive influ... [577 words]
An Aviation Accident Arouses An Advocate by Shelley J Alongi On Saturday September 25, 2004, a plane went down while taking off fro... [2,007 words]
Sleepy Eyes by Sasu A poem about a man who cant take it in a world full of greed, and has to end it.. I have no psychol... [77 words]
Playing With My Hair by Skyler Drevan This is a piece that I thought about writing while driving up the Florida Turnpike from We... [228 words]
I Miss You So Very Much by Skyler Drevan (Just For You) [493 words]
The Best Grocery Shopping Experience Ever And Other Activities by Shelley J Alongi Another communication story about my deaf friend... [1,572 words]
Minimum Wage & The Typewriters by Don Everett Pearce Eulogy for a Poet. [1,447 words]
The Self-Appointed Altruists by Sam Vaknin Their arrival portends rising local prices and a culture shock. Many of them live ... [2,387 words]
The Family Of Four by Kevin Myrick For my friends at college. [1,014 words]
The Down-Low Life (It's A Two Way Street) by Skyler Drevan This is an article on the double life that women (bisexual, lesbian, ... [2,218 words]
Flight Number Five: Cuddling And Turning Cessna Style by Shelley J Alongi Flight number five in Shelley's adventures in flight offe... [2,028 words]
Go to page: 1 2 [3] 4 5
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
Photons |
DESCRIPTION
A confessional essay on the insomniac thought process, dealing with issues of anxiety and love.
[1,107 words] |
AUTHOR
Rob Lioy |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I am a 21 year old Graphic Media student at the Rochester Institute of Technology. My main interests are music, design, reading, and of course writing.
[April 2005] |
Photons
Rob Lioy
Tell yourself that writing can help. You know it can. It helped you pretend you were on a spaceship during the years of being tormented by everyone in your school. It helped you pretend you finally got to kiss that girl you had a crush on for years. Maybe it can help you forget everything that’s bothering you right now. Do a free write. Just like they taught you in class. Sit down and don’t stop writing, no matter what. Write down everything that comes to your mind. It’s the best way to delve into who you really are as a person, right? So where do you start? Well, starting with your current problems might be a safe beginning. You see, insomnia and anxiety go hand in hand. It’s like a devilishly synergistic relationship hell bent on driving you insane. It starts with you wanting to get to sleep early, or at least what you think is early. You lay down for about ten or fifteen minutes of peace, but, of course, five minutes before you would have fallen asleep is when your brain starts telling you the things you don‘t want to hear. You think about all the bad choices you've made in your life. Minor and inconsequential details about certain things you'd rather forget come back to you in full Technicolor, high definition, digitally mastered quality. There's no way of stopping it. It’s like a flood of bad karma washing over your consciousness. That’s when the anxiety starts. You panic slightly, feeling like you’re in the exact moment in time that you’re thinking of and wishing to God you could change the outcome. You’re helpless, though. Much like Anthony Burgess' all too deserving Alex, strapped up and watching these horrible images on a projection screen. Everything that has gotten ruined in your life comes back to haunt you. No, let's rephrase that. Everything that you have ruined in your life comes back to haunt you. This is when the insomnia starts. You can usually only handle five minutes or so of the panic and anxiety before you give up on sleep altogether. So what do you use to lose yourself this time? Pick TV. You know TNT will help you out with episodes of The X-Files until you’re tired enough to pass out in five minutes flat. But then TV’s always a problem, too. Maybe you see a girl that looks like her, or has the same mannerisms. Sometimes the smallest thing can remind you of her. Maybe there’s a movie on that you guys used to watch together. Your copy of Go is collecting dust because you don’t want to think about lying down with her, reciting every single line of that movie. Rewinding Jay Mohr’s little laugh over and over again. Nathan Bexton’s Malcolm-induced banana face. And that’s when you remember the last night that you had together, sleeping on separate couches across the room. You woke up to see that she had crawled over and fell asleep on the floor right next to the couch you were on. She probably sat there and watched you sleep for a while. You start to feel sick thinking about everything. Enough of this. Change the channel. You’ll be safe for about ten minutes. But then all it takes is one note in the NYPD Blue theme to transport you back to Orlando, waiting in line for Space Mountain. You can see her reaching into her bag and playing with those little blue Photon lights, so bright that they overpowered the celestial projections on the darkened walls. Your first kiss was in line for the Haunted Mansion. Your turntables used to be downstairs in the living room, and your records were stored in milk crates that you stole from 7-11. She took pictures of you that you still have. Ugh, floods of random memories and images flowing in with no rhyme or reason. Enough of this. Change the channel again. This will go on and on. Anxiety and insomnia. You should turn off the TV and maybe go for a drive. Of course, by the time you get your jacket on and find the keys, you’ve either lost all ambition or convinced yourself not to waste the gas. Driving 45 minutes out to Sodus to look at the stars would make you feel slightly better, though. Wait, never mind. You’ll just remember how she wanted to be an astronaut. You'll remember the time she asked you if she was 58.6 inches or taller. (That’s the minimum height requirement as stated by NASA.) She got engaged two years later. You read over the beginning of this little rant (that's supposed to make you feel better) and you realize that the word "synergy" was in her screen name. People on their balcony wolf-whistled as you kissed her in the pool the night before you both left Orlando. She tried to get you to eat celery back at your house, but you were too afraid to try it. She used to do that cute bunny dance in the car as you listened to some imported house CD she bought from the Virgin Records Megastore. More and more random memories. More and more of these images, suddenly becoming disturbing and depressing. You know, there is an "enter" key, you can start a new paragraph at any time.
That’s better. Give the poor readers a break. Writing's supposed to make you feel better, isn't it? It's kept you free from trying any kind of drugs for the last 21 years, but it can't keep you from crying when you think about her. You can't use your writing to change the world in any way. You wrote that one story about you and her watching a shuttle launch a couple years ago. You read it now and get mad because it’s written so badly. "It glowed brighter than any light from the city as it shot up towards the infinite amount of stars that existed above the halo of light pollution." That's such a horrible sentence. You should delete that story. You also shouldn't have made the ending happy. You're miserable in real life, the story should be no different. Haven’t you learned anything yet? No Hollywood ending here. No running to her wedding and getting her back. You can just sit here and listen to depressing 80s music that reminds you of her, and type away in WordPad because you're too poor to buy Microsoft Word. Speaking of being poor, your Winamp is skipping. Get a faster processor. Actually, get a job first. And please use the "enter" key.
That’s better.
|
READER'S REVIEWS (4)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Holy crap, Rob, this piece is amazing and the feelings and emotion behind it ar astonishing. It managed to delve me back into those dark places you mentioned, thinking of my 'her' the mistakes i had caused in my life, it was just a very interesting engaging piece, very unique style." -- Josh / AxeY.
"Awesome piece of writing. I was depressed about something similar and now inspired by the article, i am going to start writing a story my self. Keep writing and thanks for the help. -- vivek ^-^ " -- Vivek, Rolla, MO, usa.
"WOW. It felt like I was going through that all over again when I read it! Josh pretty much said it all. " -- Em.
"I online keno game come card. " -- online keno, online keno, online keno, online keno.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION) |
|
Submit Your Review for Photons
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for Photons
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2005 Rob Lioy |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
April 2005 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2589
|
|
