DESCRIPTION
Her life has reached a crossroad. She's scared, confused, and doesn't know what to do. (I'm a senior in high school, and with this poem, I tried to capture some of the confusion and ambivalence felt during this time in your life.) [550 words]
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
What can I say? I'm just another lowly writer who escapes into the worlds I create to escape (or describe) the squalors of this one. I like James Bond, astronomy, martial arts, and eighties cartoons. Feel free to write to me with comments and suggestions. [October 2002]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1) Things Not To Say To A Pageant Committee (Essays) Ever dreamed of being in a pageant? Read this essay before heading to your interview. [1,276 words] [Humor]
To Whom It May Concern Freelancer
a layer of fog hangs over the parking lot
in the seemingly perpetual darkness just before dawn
the cold sharpens her senses
as she steps out of her car
but her vision is still impaired by the mist
she walks alone in the dark
to the structure that has become more than a building to her
it is a part, a way, of life
a shaking hand reaches out to touch cold steel
she opens the door
and walks inside
she smiles at you as she walks by
but does not say hello
for fear her voice will betray her
you smile back
but little do you know that look in her eyes
is one she saves just for you
she goes to her class, still thinking of you
but you have fallen back on her priorities for now
she listens to the teacher's monotone voice
then makes a face at her best friend,
stifling laughter when she giggles
and the teacher tells her to be quiet
she turns her eyes back to the teacher
but her thoughts are not on what he has to say
they rest on you for a moment,
but then move on to other things
the quiz fifth period
the pages for english she hasn't read
the scholarship due in a few days
the college applications collecting dust
on top of her mahogany dresser
she's been meaning to get to them
but she know what it'll mean if she does
it means leaving
leaving this place
leaving you
leaving the only life she knows behind, and for what?
she bites the inside of her cheek
and lowers her gaze so no one can see
the confused, scared look in her eyes
for a moment, she considers telling you how she feels about you
then decides against it
because she doesn't think you'd ever feel the same way
is she right?
i guess we'll never know
the bell rings
she heaves a sigh, grabs her backpack, and heads for the door
did you know you're in her next class?
(well, you are)
she walks into class
you're already there
she sits down, and asks if anyone got the answer to number four
you say something about not getting it, either,
then make a comment about how annoying and ridiculous that question was
she laughs and agrees with you
when the laughter fades and you look away,
she smiles shyly, then turns her eyes back to her paper in hopes to figure out number four before the bell rings
maybe you'll ask her for help, like you did yesterday
about halfway through the period
she begins to wonder if she'll ever understand this
or anything, for that matter
maybe if you had glanced back at her at that moment
you would have noticed the small tear forming in the corner of her eye
but you waited until about four seconds later, when she had already brushed it away
she hates to let people see her cry
she thinks it's a sign of weakness
she doesn't want anyone to know
how vulnerable she really is
she'd like to think she's strong
no, she's not weak
just scared
that's why she didn't study for the quiz
that's why she hasn't read the pages
that's why she hasn't applied for that scholarship
that's why those college applications are collecting dust
on top of her mahogany dresser
she wants to go home
hide in her closet
hug her yellow star-shaped pillow
and make the whole world go away
instead, she's here
she glances at you for a second, then looks down
just as a tear she didn't catch in time falls onto her paper
she covers her eyes to stop any more, and wonders,
how can i find the answer
if i don't even know the question?
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