Unspoken And Oppressed Within by Cynara Moore This poem describes every person in America who succumbs to emulating the latest ... [165 words]
In Loving Memory Of Perfection...... by Cynara Moore It shows how a persons love for another can blind them from the many imper... [224 words]
When Will She Smile Again ! by Cynara Moore Its basically depicting the life of a person undergoing abuse and how to rid their ... [132 words]
Soul Mate by Stuart Eric Longridge The search for your higher self. [676 words]
You-Are by Desdemonda - [21 words]
Xmas Time by Desdemonda Merry christmas everyone! [72 words]
Welsh Rabbit by Xero Sweet nostalgia. [79 words]
Wedding Vows by Just Jenn How long is forever? [71 words]
We Could Have Ended It Today by Just Jenn Knowing it's over, and finding the time to say goodbye. [121 words]
Visions(Ix) by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [83 words]
The Passage by Eyitemi Egwuenu A transition to a new phase of the poetic vision. [134 words]
The Mirror Of Me by Sharon Lynn Willis This poem puts it out there! Raw emotion. Questions of knowing one's self. [161 words]
The Maze by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [76 words]
The Harbinger's Herald by Daniel Birnbaum An attempt to bring some perspective to a nation once again embarking upon imperialism..... [192 words]
The Forward Thinker by Sasu Felling a bit ambitious tonight. [166 words]
The Dreaded Word by Just A Guy Dusted this off, made a few changes. I really don't recommend using the word guys. [88 words]
Take A Chance by Just A Guy Something about something. [170 words]
Still Happy To Be An American by Just A Guy Wrote this the day the statues came down in Bagdad and with the events of yesterd... [181 words]
Some Unnecessary Words by Higgins Why be superfluous? [36 words]
She Dreams Of You by Just Jenn Is it love, or a waste of time? [57 words]
Sandstorms by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [89 words]
Rotting Deep Within by Buxton Our poetic senses are once again enlightened by life's continuous thorns. [87 words]
Rose Garden by Erma Uppercase A Poem I wrote for my brother-inlaw,who gave his life to the Lord on this very road. [82 words]
Roachtrap by D G Williford Like sticky glue the roach is caught! [125 words]
Reawakening by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [72 words]
People by Rae A little mindlessness. [41 words]
Pastimes by B Galindo - [124 words]
Passing Through Heaven's Door by David B Doc Byron A dedication to the late Warren Zevon [161 words]
On The Wings Of Psyche by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [103 words]
On One Hand by Just Jenn How far is too far? [107 words]
Naming Of Farts
My Suicide by Kristen Gail Diana Ritthaler Its about a suicide... hence the title.. [100 words]
Love Is Love Is Love by Desdemonda - [67 words]
Love, Actually by Desdemonda - [60 words]
Lonely Heart by B Galindo A heart gave up its desire to love and be loved. [119 words]
Loneliness by Roberto J Moreno It's about meeting someone and coming down after being disappointed. [68 words]
Living Life by Martha R Arroyo A poem. [89 words]
Just Another Drive By by Erma Uppercase Ideas from daily newspapers. [65 words]
Just A Bit Callous by Just A Guy Not to be taken too seriously. [106 words]
It's The Devil's Fault by Just A Guy Ok admin - I offered a bribe, that didn't work. Next comes the threats! [149 words]
If I Had You I'd.... by Just Jenn Thoughts of love from a stranger. [166 words]
If I Could Dream You Here by M Q Walters - [151 words]
How Are You? by Just Jenn Do we ever really listen? [113 words]
Footprints by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [120 words]
E-Mail Blues II by Just A Guy Been experiencing a rash of this stuff lately. [68 words]
Dreams Of Love by Elizabeth Gage - [125 words]
Don't Promise Me After While by Just Jenn Tired of broken promises. [76 words]
Destruction by B Galindo Reflection. [88 words]
Deception by B Galindo This talks about a friend that deceived people along with myself. [53 words]
Damn Words by Just A Guy - [80 words]
Chrysalis by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [54 words]
Christmas Snatch by Christmas Bare Just a little fun! [79 words]
Canyon by Rae More adventures in cutting. [18 words]
Cancel The Order by Sasu My first entry. Please be kind.. [114 words]
But I Don't Want To by Just Jenn Doing something you don't really want to, but know has to be done. [116 words]
Building Bridges by Buxton A poem on Storymania. [75 words]
Breath Of Fresh Air by B Galindo This I wrote about somebody that was exactly that. [172 words]
A Vampire Tale - Well, Sort Of. by Just A Guy Seeing Harvey's piece brought to mind one I had put away. [93 words]
A Touch So Innocent by B Galindo A misinterpretation between lust & love. [65 words]
A Passionate Kiss by Dan Lemmond This is a poem that I wrote for my future wife Brandi. [150 words]
A New Moon ----Serenade by Eyitemi Egwuenu - [66 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 [129] 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
Naming Of Farts |
DESCRIPTION
Apologies to Henry Reed....
[243 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Harvey Kennett |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Wallace (We are Legion)
[November 2007] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
hkintheuk@hotmail.com |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (23)
Architects Of Our Own Demise (Short Stories) Man questions God for answers... and God replies... [369 words] [Horror]
Behind The Wheel (Short Stories) Tirenedness kills...take a break ! [556 words] [Horror]
Biding Its Time (Short Stories) Sometimes, you cannot rush Nature... [836 words] [Horror]
Birthday Boy (Short Stories) Younger children place a great importance to their Birthdays. An importance that adults should never underestimate... [967 words] [Horror]
Can You Trust Us Strangers ? (Short Stories) Your life is not your own... [304 words] [Science Fiction]
Divine Domain (Short Stories) The search for God takes many forms, not least of which is the Internet. A young man stumbles across God's Domain on the Web. This short story is the result of his "First Contact". [1,471 words] [Humor]
Eating Babies (Short Stories) Forgive the title...it just seemed appropriate for this disturbing little tale... [1,074 words] [Horror]
Elegant Provisions (Short Stories) Everyone is looking for the "perfect recipe"...here is a personal favourite...bon appetit ! [420 words] [Horror]
Eternal Diary (Poetry) Your clock is ticking... [123 words]
Goodnight Sweet Kevin (Short Stories) It concerns me that we, as a species, follow trends and "buzzwords", and anyone who dares to question the self-styled Hierophants of the Press and Govenment is crucified at the Altar of Supposed Freed... [603 words] [Science Fiction]
Lost In Space...Beagle 2 (Short Stories) The true story of Beagle 2 ? Apologies to Yanks in general... [1,105 words] [Science Fiction]
Man Skin (Short Stories) When you sleep, what happens to your dreams ? [776 words] [Horror]
Morning Comes (Poetry) Author’s Notes: This poem was written some 16 years ago, one morning when I woke from a beautiful dream. I imagined that my long-distance girlfriend who I only saw once a year was cuddled up in my ar... [65 words] [Romance]
Nobody Heard Me (Short Stories) If you found this when you returned home, how would you react ? [577 words] [Horror]
Some Body (Short Stories) Two lovers collide.... [220 words] [Humor]
The First Cut Was The Last (Short Stories) One man's irrational fear following a shocking discovery. [813 words] [Horror]
The Last Revelation (Short Stories) An alternative look at when we die... [883 words]
The Model (Poetry) ...incoming transmission... [167 words] [Science Fiction]
The Voyage (Poetry) We can all sail a calm sea, but life is about how we deal with the obstacles in our path. [130 words] [Self-Help]
This Golden Age (Poetry) I have met many folks who were unhappy with the time they were born in to. This poem is dedicated to them... [164 words] [Animal]
This Green And Sterile Land (Poetry) The UK coined the term "The Industrial Revolution". Once the wheel had turned full circle from unemeployment to employment and then back again, Britain eventually lost it's industrial edge and the fac... [154 words]
Words To Die For... (Short Stories) The story of one man's obsession with words.... [571 words] [Horror]
You Don't Have To Talk... (Short Stories) When you are shy, and cannot find the words to say, say nothing. [607 words] [Relationships]
|
Naming Of Farts
Harvey Kennett
Today, we have naming of farts. Yesterday,
We had the Command fart. And tomorrow morning,
We shall have the Stutter fart. But today,
Today we have naming of farts. Prune juice
Beckons in the plastic cups provided,
And today we have naming of farts.
That was a Cushioned fart. And this
Is the Bullet fart, whose sound you will hear,
When you have been eating beans. And this is the Splatter fart,
Which in your case, you do not want. The cups
Hold the prune juice, waiting for consumption,
Which in our case, we have not got.
This is the Ghost fart, which is always released
By an unknown assailant. And please do not let me
See anyone squeezing their cheeks. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength left in your bum. The prune juice
Is primed and waiting, like a grenade
Ready for detonation.
And this is the S.B.D. The purpose of this
Is to disable the enemy quietly. You can use it
Covertly, when the risk of detection is too high. We call this
Silent But Deadly. And waiting on the table,
The cups of prune juice stand to attention.
They are Silent, but Deadly.
They call it Silent But Deadly. It is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your bum : Like the Splatterer,
And the Rumbler, and the Oh My God, and the Omen,
Which in our case we have not done; and the prune juice stands,
Silent in all the cups and the gas masks laying beside them,
For today we have naming of farts.
|
READER'S REVIEWS (1)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"LOVED IT!!! It's really good to see a writer with a sense of humor these days. Keep em' coming." -- david doc byron , fartsville, ind, usa.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION) |
|
Submit Your Review for Naming Of Farts
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for Naming Of Farts
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 Harvey Kennett |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
December 2003 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2294
|
|
