in one of those 10x13 urban dreams.....that turn nightmare when cars flee from the scene silver bullets over broadway i still make my way to my bed where my lady rubs my migraine filled head and nightmares that flow from new growth in my hair where i hear beethoven stroking dark melodies in my ears and i find that i love his work while i jerk love's hot lotion from me like a fig i want you to suck my words down like a forty spray paint my lines on a building raping it's ugliness with new beauty so everyone under the sun can picture this.......
1000 miles later...
time and confusion inner twined to trap thoughts circling my mind a journey that has been full of love yet pain the very root inflicted with cavities and hell at 1000 degrees can't burn me like my losses they tell me that footprints in the sand is when God grabbed my unworthy hands and carried me....i only question myself as to where i'm going 1000 miles later.....
one more night...
tonight tomorrow the two of us should be together together like the clouds in the sky like two birds heading south when they fly tonight i want to touch you like a teasing nightgown and drape myself all over you i want to taste you in every phase be the moonlight kissing your angelic face i'd like to enter your hidden dreams envade your private thoughts of me hold you like thoughts in my mind while sliding down rainbows eluding time slowly let my words fill you with more pleasure filled nights plus love bites love's gripes and all of it's fights let me feel you up fill you up give me one more night.......
this situation ain't accidental...
man i'm asking you why so many Black folks poor and blue? under these states that don't represent u pain and poverty go hand in hand the whole world is crooked take a look at this dirty hand that i've been dealt times evil has definitely been felt how do i fight for this country with pride when the gov't executes secret genocides? it doesn't matter if you're poor or rich America is still the pimp of the century and all of us are being played for it's bitch can't understand how i'm not even fully out the womb and i already face certain doom a seed that is forced to grow corrupt and with the growth of prison inmate rates i'll show you how a free seed becomes stuck in the system...in the machine in the face of ripped and shredded dreams but this situation and accidental know what i mean?
what i feel....what he makes me feel...
when i hold him and i absorb all of his heat and he takes mine, i feel as if i'm pregnant to a degree of overwhelming love he protects me, as i rock him as i take in veteran well seasoned breaths and he the rookie learning to breathe for the first time outside of nirvana i feel like an incubator when he and i share time locked together as he lies across my chest even his scream substitutes for music in my parental virgin ears and every sigh and every tear he cries reminds me of the secret paradise hidden within my heart, soul for him that's what i feel what he makes me feel.......
ride or die?
somebody asked me if i wanted to ride or die? i surprised him with my answer i said let's cruise the fire or lowride to the sky for real what we riding for? maybe to solicit a hoe America the diseased whore fucking everybody out their green and dreams of milk and honey floating in greedy, saliva filled streams so tell me where's the first stop, before we get pulled over in clean rides by dirty cops? and then they wonder why at 25 so many young brothers' like myself aren't afraid to die because we were born out of tough love and wed lock where the womb was a temporary cage preparing me for my cell block and knowing this.....even this very night a young brother will choose to ride or die and he'll live or lose his life......
watching you... reading me...
watching you reading me gets me off like a passenger at her private stop or like light switches playing hide'n'go seek in the dark i can't explain the oceans of emotions that wave over me and my thoughts when i watcht you smile from behind my pages you have placed me inside of you the hunter, the rapist of the mind my new prey caught in rhyme you laugh me, you hate me, you breathe me i have become an extension of you as i watch you reading me.......
enter the symphony...
come to me like the breeze kissing the gentle sea the secret melodies of it's mysteries released the sands of time catching up to infinity where in your eyes i'm caught in divinity can you see me? a sailor lost on the mighty blue swimming my way to you my heart's but a wave you are no longer a mere fantasy now that i'm caught in a dance where my heart beats for two with waves gently kissing my hair like morning dew as i drown in the orchestrated ensemble of you........
to all the girl's i've loved before (thank you willie nelson and julio iglesias)
to all the girl's i've loved before to all the one's who never felt my amore turned me into their private whore the one's that broke my heart and left me in pieces like cheap art you know.....to all the one's that took my money hostage and spent my emotions like wet dollars and i'm laughing so tell me now...all the girl's i've loved before who are you reading? and who are you really loving now?
who would have thought?
i'd be lying between your legs rubbing my fingers through every blade of your hair rubbing your face paradise in every taste of your body me calling you honey with my head coming closer to yours for a kiss then like the wind whispering songs in your ears...i tickle your heart who would have thought after the forbidden dance we shared that we'd be lying on this cloud with no fears holding each other near?
it came to pass...
this Christmas brought snow and gifts from the north candycanes hanging playfully from freshly trimmed pine trees gifts that pay attention to order sit silently underneath while dancing lights shine on the beauty of each bow by the window then i thought about who i wasn't buying a gift for or for that matter who i wouldn't be kissing near the fireplace, exchanging gifts then enters new year's for like Christmas that thought of you, it came to pass.......
gazing...
i sit back and view you while you sleep how the moonlight dares to glow off your face a masterpiece or better yet a symphony rushes to my mind as i stare at you sleeping i question, how do angels sleep without breaking their wings'? so peaceful is your rest that i can't even hear you exhale a statue of perfection, a model of beauty you are looking at you finally brings me to where the rainbow ends my pot of gold in you i've found your skin has the complexion of sunset as you sink further into slumber how i long to wake you, to touch you yet i fear God will take this moment in paradise away i wonder, if i'm dreaming or if i'm even alive? for i've never been this close to heaven while gazing at an angel through my tear filled eyes.......
one of kevin's untitled title's...
i needed more of her time to pay for this painful crime of loving her, loving her to much or to little what happens now that my mind can't rest now that i have failed this test? while swimming towards progress i regress thinking thoughts of you and wondering what to do when faced with losing you........
un-able-2-name...
beautiful are your naked eyes that surpass the many stars that have that will forever decorate the evening sky that voice that smile that flow so deep within my soul your beauty the pure anecdote for my solitude i find everyday, that i live that it is your beauty your existence that softly kisses the fresh first breaths i take every morning i awake and this feeling surpasses love and it is un-able-2-name.........
jerry springer
the rain teased my window pane while i sat watching t.v. thinking of you three forty five in the morning while yawning and touching my private it was so late by the phone i wait can't stop thinking about your last hug and kiss the love i miss damn the lightning is getting sharp and i'm sitting here in the dark trying to mend my torn heart loving you is the norm i think i'll go to sleep rest a little bit and watch jerry springer in the morning while i wait for you....
my block...
yeah, i heard it all as the body fell to the ground
stray bullets hit the wall
a whole block scattered when the glass shattered
the tires tried to warn us...with all of their screams urban dreams turn nightmare when car's flee from the scene
when the car came around the curb not a word was heard
a drive-by like a silent film it was dawn...or was it sunset? i forget but i know it was red the liquid that drains when the rat-a-tatt-tatt reigns
the lights on the car were dim why now? why him?
i can't focus through these tears although i have no fears
except growing up...time still ticking on my clock
and hell is one street over
from my block.........
3:55am
listening to the darkness figuring that this is the only time that earth is utopia i can hear the silent whispers of the fish swimming in their private ocean while i fall deeper into this portrait of darkness where the most abstract disturbing sound i hear amongst chirping grasshoppers humming fish tanks, and hanging plants belongs to you the angel that i am borrowing.....
mama...
ain't to many women around who can keep my feet on solid ground and when it seems there's nothing else i can do i can always get the truth when i run to you a loving hug is all i need and what better pair of arms can hold on to me? i'm just tired of all the games the endless pain i just want happiness and love once again until i find the right one your love will have to do for there is no greater love than the one i get from you
believe this mama, i love you
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