1-7-00 I wish that I could play, I wish I knew how. I wish I could start. I dare not try. I believe I know who, in my untried heart, I even know why, in my confused young brain. Everything says yes, that I should give it a go, My knees will not move, they hear all the No's She knows what I know and comes to my aid, She gives me a hint, gives me a wink But all I can do is turn thoughts into ink. What is there to be afraid? I ask when I'm brave. No one can answer, but I listen anyway. Love not yet lost, still slipping by. A moment not won. Why? I tell myself the moment will come But now is not the time, if not then when? The day will be, I shall say my peace I fear if not soon I shall lose my turn.
"Walls" My mind wants to dance My brain wants to sprint, Thoughts try to wander, They bounce front and back Like a million rubber balls Taking aim at my soul, But propelled back from my heart. My mind will not rest Not for lunch, not even for sleep, I get no peace inside. Like a prisoner Pacing the floors Scratching the walls that hold him The walls, My skull are irritated, bleeding Giving way but holding back. The guards take notice But make no move Their presence is enough It paralyzes. Fear is my jailer Fear imprisons me Fear must be subdued The guards must be thrown back. The more he sees beyond the walls The more he sees it's potential The more he wants out The more he wants to prove. He lies down and breathes heavy The thoughts continue to scratch away The walls might break, So might he.
-3- I wish that I knew where this ride was heading. I wish I knew when and where I could get off. I want to try the next ride. The lines for many of them look long and my patience is waning. People are willing to wait in line with me. They help ease the torture of waiting. But they can't wait in line for me. They can't ride for me. I want to love the ride. I want to hate the ride I am tired of hearing about others on the rides. It's my turn.
-4- My heroes are dead men They used their talents Made their mark They never fizzled They exploded and vanished One was a poet, a soldier, a man Restrained himself, as the times required Made his mark in darkness Left it in a hole His work would leave the dirt, he would not Another was a poet, a soldier, a clown He did his work upon a stage He made his a life a spectacle His final act was left in a drain
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