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I Cry David Baker
Sometimes i cry,
though i don't know why,
the tears they come like rain.
These feeling tear me up inside,
they make me want to run and hide
to cry my tears of pain.
Sometimes i cry,
though i don't know why,
it's hard to understand.
These feelings that crawl deep inside,
i don't know when they'll end.
Why do i cry?
when i don't even know why,
can you help me to smile again?
and make my life worthwhile
READER'S REVIEWS (9) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"I like your work but I have one small critism. Dont take it the wrong way but you seem to have a lot of forced rhyming. It just seems predictable. Try writing your same feelings but dont rhyme. you'll be surprised at the difference. Thanks for listening and I hope you dont take that wrong. " -- km.
"I agree with KM, your work is ok, but you seem to be forcing yourself to write poetry rather than letting it come naturally" -- riley.
"thanx for the feedback, i didn't take it the wrong way, i'll try rite one without rhyme lol... keep reding em and i love the feedback so keep tellin me wat ya think it means alot thanx..... :-)" -- dave.
"Thanks for your feedback on my poems, Dave. Glad you enjoy them. Yours is also interesting and don't be afraid to write free verses as km and riley suggested above. It might flow even nicer and natural...keep up!" -- Dri.
"and yes, there are times when it's hard to explain the reason we cry...and yet, we cry!!!! " -- Dri.
"Well, I don't like rhyme but I thought for your first poem, it was pretty good. I agree with the others, don't let the rhymes restrict you, there's a good theme here, don't let it get restricted with why and cry. " -- kavya.
"Well i like rhyme, but for this piece it did seem a little bit forced, but i did like the content, and i know what its like, you'll find an explination in time :), keep it up" -- Josh / Axey.
"I came back to read this poem of yours because I too have one similar and I must tell you that I truly enjoy this one. Maybe because I feel like crying today?? lol -" -- Dri.
"thanx all and dri thanku i'm glad u enjoy'd it, i hope whateva made u cry that u'r feeling beter, and can i ask which one of your poems is similar?? i'm curious to read it. thanx again all means alot..:-) " -- baker.
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