ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-) [January 2003]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84) A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery] A Twist In The Tail (Short Stories) - [963 words] Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy] Agony 2 (Short Stories) Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive). [1,077 words] [Comedy] Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words] Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama] Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama] Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama] Barriers (Short Stories) Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words] [Thriller] Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror] Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy] Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words] Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words] Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama] Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama] Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama] Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama] Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama] Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words] Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words] Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama] Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama] Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama] Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy] Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama] Furtive Glances (Short Stories) Always the last to know! [891 words] [Drama] Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words] Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama] Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy] I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind] Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic] Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words] Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama] Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama] Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama] Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure] Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama] Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words] Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama] Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama] Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama] Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama] Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama] Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama] My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal] Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words] One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama] Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama] Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action] Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama] Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words] Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic] Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama] Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words] Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words] Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama] So This Is My Life Then (Short Stories) - [517 words] [Comedy] Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama] Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words] Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama] Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama] The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama] The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama] The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama] The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words] The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama] The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words] The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama] The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words] The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words] The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama] The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama] The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words] The Spark (Short Stories) - [557 words] The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror] The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama] Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama] Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama] Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama] Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words] Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama] White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words] Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words] You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
Angel Stew Sue (Sooz) Simpson
The kitchens in the halls of Celestial Paradise were a hive of industrious activity.
Gabriel was pouncing round sticking his chest out and profaning in the most colourful of language at the top of his lungs, his normally gentle melodic voice gripped by a harsh nasty edge. This behavior was not because he had become suddenly that way inclined, but because he was the Chef, and drawing on his observations of chefs down on earth, that’s the way one ought to behave.
The idea seemed to be, to have your underlings cowering in corners and reduced to either tears or suicide (it makes no difference which) in the shortest possible time. Gabriel found that the use of the term “Dog Breath” worked particularly well on Temerity, who dissolved into helpless floods of tears everytime he used it.
He felt very grand, in his blue and white checked pants and tall white hat. He did find though that the white tunic and apron were rather restrictive on the wings.
Aurora, mother of all angels and Gabriels wife, was busy peeling the wisdom at the sink. It had been a good year for wisdom crops, making it very reasonable in the market, so she had bought plenty of it.
Temerity was in charge of chopping the compassion and empathy. For this recipe, the mixture had to be just right, one part empathy to three parts compassion. Of course everyone knows how chopping compassion and empathy, makes you cry, and being called dog breath at regular intervals only compounded the problem. She tried the old Angels method of drinking fifteen pints of bitter while swinging a Harley Davidson round your head, until it was pointed out to her that that’s the *Hells Angel’s* method. So she tried dipping her wings in vinegar while singing “Oh hale and hallowed portals of goodness” at the top of her voice but the only difference it made was to bring forth a fresh barrage of abuse from Gabriel, who was enjoying himself immensely, still she continued to sniffle. One part empathy to three parts compassion with three tears and a glob of nasal mucus lovely.
Felicity who was a rather naughty angel, went directly against Gabriels orders and added a cup and a half of sex appeal to the pot when nobody was looking. Gabriel had strictly forbidden the use of this in the stew after the mess left behind on earth from the sexual revolution of the sixties. He had had to work three earth decades of overtime to clear up after that one, he was still sexually repressed poor man, and Aurora had given up smiling about that time too.
Three cups of pleasant disposition went in, one of tenderness, and four of humour. Jinty was stirring it all together. It was time to add the herbs. A pinch of irresistible to humans. Jinty shook her head sadly as she remembered the fate of Bosun the Boxer dog, after he had fallen into a vat of irresistible to humans. Mr. Cummings the high court earth judge was still in prison apparently after that sorry episode, and as for Bosun well all his offspring are born bow legged too. This was a crucial part of the proceedings, the amount had to be just right, knowing the character of the earthlings add too much irresistible to humans, and they would be murdering each other in their beds to steal the angel stew.
A pinch of honesty, sixteen cloves of kindness, a pint and a half of love, again have to be very careful with that one, infidelity was rife last year when celestine mistook gallons for pints.
Finally it was time for the last ingredient to go into the pot, a pinch of do unto others. Unfortunately just as Destiny was about to add it, one of the cherubic sons of Cupid came hurtling through the kitchen and knocked Destiny’s arm, the whole drum of do unto others fell into the pot. There was a shocked silence, they waited with baited breath for an explosion from the normally mild and easygoing Gabriel, but he just laughed.
“ No harm done” he said. So they just added a little more honesty and compassion to compensate.
Jinty shook her wings over the cooking pot, and a fine shower of angel dust, drifted over the top of the gravy. This was to make wishes come true she said sweetly.
That night a ramekin of Angel Stew was placed at the bedside of every human on earth. The effect was remarkable. Soldiers laid down their arms, hugging the enemy and calling him “Friend”. Strangers met in the street, smiled, and remembered what it was like in the old days when people took the time and trouble to do that. The bullies helped the weak, and the rich aided the poor.
The angels looked down from the Celestial halls of Paradise and wondered what to make for dessert.
READER'S REVIEWS (4) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Very well written, if maybe a little too hopeful that making peace is so easy." -- Jack Brown.
"Och but the good angels are optimistic souls. Thanks Jack" -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria.
"Ellie’s Review: I'm always* intrigued by angel-related stores whether they be fiction in your case, or first-person non-fiction tales...whatever. I truly enjoyed this story, especially the imaginative manner in which you verbally threw together the various ingredients in the pot. Maybe this is the way it's really done :-)? given the end result of humans these days... As an aside a re-write to smooth out some of the choppy parts wouldn't hurt. Well done! " -- Cam Davis.
"Thanks again Ellie. This is one of my vry early stories and has indeed ben shined and polished. I'm glad you like it. It has been read on Radio4 by Tony Cook. You probably won't have heard of him over there but he's one of our top journalists and minor celebrities. Anyway he's got a voice like melted chocolate and could make any story sound good. Thank you." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria.
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