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The 5 Dollar Bill Story
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TITLE (EDIT)
The 5 Dollar Bill Story |
DESCRIPTION
Tells the story of how a 5 dollar bill travel through 3 totally different people.
[986 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
NeedhamT |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
-
[March 2001] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (7)
Bayonets - Part One (Novels) A union spy(he's a kid!) attempts to get back to the capital to relay his info. The first part in the story. [1,278 words] [Adventure]
How To Make An Essay Into A Poem (Poetry) Very short, but effective poem about the ingredients of a poem. [23 words]
Masks And Lies (Poetry) A poem about the masks we wear as people. [63 words] [Mind]
The Chronicles Of A Great Warrior (Short Stories) The twisting turning medieval based story of awesomeness! [3,269 words] [Adventure]
The Deetahgle (Short Stories) The ultimate vehicle is actually an animal bred with genetic engineering, a mix between a cheetah, dolphin, and an eagle. It can take you anywhere. This story/essay describes this strange creature. [502 words] [Comedy]
The Raid On Castle Storm (Short Stories) In an age of blades and magic, mighty forces battle for the command of the world. This story focuses on the Fire Paladins attempt to capture the evil Skull Paladin fortress Castle Storm. [1,676 words] [Adventure]
Weird Al's Teacher-Like Qualities (Essays) Gives an explanation of how I think that Weird Al Yankovic (famous comedic songwriter) would make a great teacher. [431 words]
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The 5 Dollar Bill Story
NeedhamT
The first owner of this five-dollar bill went by the name of Jigsaw. He was 6 feet tall, with dark brown eyes and bright red hair. He was very lean, and never worked out. He wore thick, horn-rimmed glasses, and was never known to take them off. He wore very bland clothing, consisting of colors like brown, black, and gray.
The reason for his nickname, Jigsaw, was his obsession with puzzles. He rarely left his apartment, only going out for groceries at the local Smith’s store. Consequently, the grocery store is where this story begins.
Jigsaw was walking up to the register late at night, around 11:00 P.M., and there was only one lane open. As he stepped up to the sales person, he took his items off his chart and put them on the isle. After the salesperson had checked off his items, she groaned out, “ Fifteen dollars please.” Jigsaw handed her a twenty, and she gave him a five for change. “Thanks,” he mumbled as he walked out of the store.
When he got home, he set to work putting the groceries away, and then sat down at a large table in the center of his apartment. This was where he spent most of his time, doing his puzzles. That night, as he was working on his new five thousand-piece puzzles, he fell asleep on the table, as he does often.
Unfortunately, that night he had forgotten to lock the door and a thief had sneeked in. Seeing nothing of value, he turned to leave, but something caught his eye. He had noticed the five hundred-dollar bill sticking of Jigsaw’s pocket. Thinking that he had finally found something worth something in the apartment, he snuck over and snitched it out of Jigsaw’s pocket. Sniggering to himself, he crept out of the house.
This thief had a few, well, issues. He saw two zeros after every number he saw, explaining why he wanted to steal the five dollar bill. He had been caught for stealing on numerous occasions, but had been let go because of his problems. He was only 5 foot but weighed two hundred pounds! This obviously shows why he wasn’t too good at sneaking, and gets caught often. The thought tonight was his lucky night, and he would finally get away with a crime. But little did he know, there was a rogue assassin in the building, and he was walking on the floor right below the thief. The reason I have not given you the thief’s name is that it is such a common name that everyone who read this would think the thief was someone else, like their dearest friend, or their loving father, would be mistaken for a criminal. The thief’s name is John Smith.
Smith, (he’s not someone you know!) was headed for the same grocery store Jigsaw had went to earlier that night. It was nearing midnight, and fearing that the store would close before he could get there Smith ran as fast as he could down the row of apartments.
Going around a corner, he bumped into the assassin, and they went down on the floor, the five dollar bill coming out of his pocket. “Sorry, I’m in kind of a rush,” Smith said as he gathered himself up off the floor, missing the five dollar bill. The hitman said something about wishing he had brought his knife with him, and walked off without looking back.
Smith, not being bright enough to check for the bill, ran off wondering how he would spend five-hundred dollars at the Smith’s.
A poor maid, not very well paid and not very well fed either by the looks of her, exited a room near the corner where the collision took place. As she strolled down the hall, muttering to herself about how hard a baby could possibly be to clean up after, she reached the corner and saw the five dollar bill, just laying there on the cold carpet. Her pale face lit up when she saw the piece of currency. She looked around her, making sure no one was watching. Then she slipped the bill into her pocket and went off some strange 60’s tune.
The name of this maid is Elyza Pale. She lived in an old broken up shed on the out skirts of town. Before I tell you a few details about her horrible house, I should probably tell you about her.
She was born to a very rich family in Russia not long before the cold war. During the war, (She was about 14 years old) her family was exiled from Russia for giving sensitive information to America. Upon leaving Russia, they decided to sail for America in a boat made of driftwood with a sail made of sheets.
After a few shark attacks, and two weeks of starvation and hunger, Elyza was the only one of the family to touch American soil.
Because she is so intellectual and cunning, the first thing she did was run for senator, but was almost assassinated by the KGB for running.
So after trying for many other jobs, only to be turned down, she finally got a low paying job as a maid. When she got the job, she thought it would be bad, but it was much worse than she had imagined. At the age of only 32, she looked almost 50 with all the sagging skin and wrinkles.
Now I’ll begin to tell you about her horrific living quarters. There was no wallpaper, and only a small bit of carpet, while the rest is dirt. She had been saving all her money to redecorate, so when she did get the money the week before, she bought some new boxes to sit on for her kitchen.
But with this five dollar bill she had something special to buy. She went to the store and bought a hat. Yep, that’s the end.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 NeedhamT |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
September 2003 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2396
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