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Words To Die For... Harvey Kennett
I am the dictionary man.
Each day I choose 10 consecutive words from my Collins English Dictionary and try to live those words that day.
My 10 words today were :
“Sugar plum”
I painted my body in a thick, gooey paste made from boiled plums that had cooled down, then sprinkled myself with castor sugar.
“Sugary”
I ate 1 kg of refined sugar, then rang my mother to tell her she was the sweetest and nicest mother a son could ever have.
“Suggest”
I put forward the idea to my mother that I needed help of some kind. She kindly suggested I revisit a new psychiatrist, berating me that my numerous visits to several different psychiatrists had so far failed.
“Suggestbility”
I rang a new psychiatrist and explained to her that I would like to try suggestibility therapy. I had tried auto-suggestion but that didn’t work. She agreed to a visit that afternoon, so I went straight there, since I had yet to experience washing, although I had tried bathing and showering some time ago.
“Suggestible”
I walked in to the shrink’s office and sat down, or more likely sort of squelched in to her leather couch. She didn’t seem pleased to see me. She said that next time I should not come to her office dressed as the sugar-plum fairy. I readily agreed without exception, and a look of understanding crossed her face. She wrote the word “suggestible” next to my name.
“Suggestion”
She asked me to lie down on the couch and close my eyes. She told me to imagine that I was swimming in a clear, blue sea. I told her that I couldn’t swim, having never tried it. She asked me to imagine that I was lying on a tropical beach, but I replied that I had never been to the tropics either. Exasperated, she said to me to imagine that I was in my mother’s womb. I told her that I planned to return to my mother’s womb in a couple of year’s time. She went very quiet.
“Suggestive”
She asked me to imagine I was a famous person. I asked her who? She replied “anything you like”, in a calm and understanding voice.
“Suharto”
I replied to her that I was an Indonesian General called Suharto, who was the ruler of Indonesia from 1967 to 1998. She asked me what sort of person “Suharto” was like.
I replied that I was strict and authoritarian, but corrupt, and currently imprisoned in Cipinang Penitentiary.
“Suicidal”
She asked me what life was like in prison. I explained that I had all the comforts I needed, except for my freedom. I had dishonoured myself, my family and my countrymen, and wished to die. I started crying.
She woke me from my hypnosis. I noticed that she had almost filled an entire notepad with frenzied scribblings. I thanked her for her time, wrote her a cheque, and left for home.
When I got home, I saw the last entry on my daily list and realised that my life’s work could never be completed, though the entry after that would still be fulfilled.
I took out a shotgun I had recently purchased the month before, put both barrels in my mouth and decorated last year’s Laura Ashley wallpaper with the contents of my brain. I had completed my 10th entry of the day, “Suicide”.
*******************************************
The next entry, discovered by the police who were alerted by the neighbours hearing gunfire, was as follows:
“Sui Generis”
Latin for “Unique”.
I had claimed a final entry, even beyond my death.
READER'S REVIEWS (3) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Don't understand why he would kill himself! I think implying more in the story his unstable life might make it work. I just thought this story was forced based on the words of the dictionary instead of a true and unique plot." -- e. rocco caldwell.
"Hi Rocco, thanks for the valuable feedback, much appreciated. I wanted the story to be in contrast how we normally live our lives, dictated by laws, people, thoughts and emotions. I was trying to convey an individual who lived his life by the dictats of his dictionary, and following each word to the letter (no pun intended). His downfall was that he adhered to the rules to the extent that they resulted in his own destruction, and I was trying to get the reader to draw a conclusion that rules, if rigidly followed are destructive instead of constructive. I chose the words carefully, because I wanted a twist at the end, in which even his death, as a physical end, transcended the self-imposed rules he had set himself by completing the next word "Unique". The man was, quite literally, Sui Generis. Of course, if I need to explain this then perhaps I need to revisit the idea and rewrite it for the audience. Sometimes one can try and be too clever !" -- Harvey Kennett, Chelmsford, Essex, UK.
"This was drop dead funny, even the suicide was clever. Might have gone right over my head but good job." -- Just A Guy.
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