TITLE (EDIT) Last Two Minutes Of An Insane Man's Life
DESCRIPTION
The story of a man who is insane and has his inner demons leave him after trying to commit suicide. It ends ironically, I guess. Note: Strong Language and some sexual content. Not safe for children's eyes. But good nonetheless. [914 words]
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm currently a College Student enrolled at Auburn University in Auburn, AL. I'm studying Political Science, but thinking of changing my major to English, or double majoring. I'm interested in computers, the outdoors and of course, writing. I read a lot instead of watching TV, because in truth there is nothing more of value to watch on TV anymore. [December 2003]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (22) A Conversation With God (Short Stories) Basically, its a short story with sort of a twisted view on the whole walking with god on the beach theme that you see around. I dunno, it was sort of one of those late night writes. Yeah, I'm an athe... [1,230 words] A Gunslinger's Death Is Always Best (Short Stories) The Sixth in the Sierra Madre Stories, finally typed up for your enjoyment. [3,668 words] [Crime] Chapter One: A Stiff Shot Of Southern Comfort (Novels) It's an idea I had for a novel, no title yet. No worries though, I'm sure I'll have something by chapter two. Enjoy! [1,314 words] [Literary Fiction] Fireworks At Christmas (Short Stories) This is the fifth story in the continuing series called the Sierra Madre Stories. [3,274 words] [Literary Fiction] Headboards And Tombstones (Short Stories) The fourth story in the Sierra Madre Series/Stories, this one is about the boyfriend mostly. Some backstory, some flashback. Hope everyone enjoys. [2,898 words] [Literary Fiction] How To Read This Diatribe (Essays) The very beginning letter from myself to you about a new series of essays, stories, and miscellaneous things I'm writing about. [317 words] [Mind] In The Beginning (Short Stories) The followup to "The Last Two Minutes of an Insane Man's Life", which takes the reader back to the beginning, retracing the steps to how he has a gun to his head. [1,225 words] [Literary Fiction] No Longer A Smoking America (Essays) I wrote this paper for my college english comp class, and decided it was worthy enough to publish. Maybe. Anyhow, take it with a grain of salt folks, and if you see something you think is wrong, pleas... [1,483 words] [Mind] Roundabout Love (Short Stories) The story of two people who shouldn't be able to fall in love, but came together. [1,187 words] [Drama] Sail Away (Short Stories) An autobiographical story that ends with a point about the quest for the meaning of life, and what the meaning of life is to me, the author. [1,295 words] Six Of Hearts (Essays) First Post in my 52 series of essays on how I dislike social websites like thefacebook.com, and my adventures in online dating. [654 words] [Mind] Something About Good Decisions (Novels) Chapter two of something else I've been working on. Taking the last chapter's comments into view, I've decided to shift away from the whole "writer as a main character" theme to "who are those two guy... [2,322 words] Southern Roadtrips- Part One (Novels) The Prologue and First Two chapters of a novella I'm writing called "Southern Roadtrips". At least, that's what I'm calling it right now. Characters and Stories are based on fact, but I've taken creat... [3,315 words] [Travel] Southern Roadtrips-Chapter Four (Novels) This chapter, while describing a small portion of my time in Chattanooga, does better to describe my feelings about myself and my parent's divorce. [1,442 words] [Travel] The Death Of Smith And Jones In Sierra Madre (Short Stories) The next story in the "Sierra Madre Stories" series in which describes the death of Smith and Jones, two of the four who are responsible for the death of Mary. It also includes an interesting anecdote... [3,072 words] [Literary Fiction] The Family Of Four (Non-Fiction) For my friends at college. [1,014 words] The First Joker In The Deck (Essays) This is an essay about my personal philosophy, or lack thereof. [1,098 words] [Mind] The Four Of Clubs (Essays) Second part to the Four of Diamonds. It has been called "a bible." [2,726 words] [Mind] The Four Of Diamonds (Essays) A bit of a rant about my generation's debt, prescription drugs, healthcare, and George W. Bush. Just read, I swear it's interesting. [1,963 words] [Mind] The Man From Sierra Madre (Short Stories) The second in the "Sierra Madre Series" with more death and an interesting plot twist at the end. Or, at least I think it's interesting. [3,659 words] [Literary Fiction] The Massacre Of Sierra Madre (Short Stories) The beginning of a series I'm calling "The Sierra Madre Stories", this is the first one in a long list of stories. It involves everyone's favorite subjects: Drugs, death and money. [3,637 words] [Literary Fiction] Thinking About My Father (Short Stories) A Sort of Essay/Short Story about the relationship with my father. [979 words] [Literary Fiction]
Last Two Minutes Of An Insane Man's Life Kevin Myrick
There’s a gun to my head. It’s a brand new Colt .45 Model 1911. It’s black. It’s also loaded.
The chambered round sits there, dormant until I pull the trigger, ready to blow my brains out.
There are eight other rounds inside of the handle, in a magazine ready to do the job if by some
chance I mess this up. They all look the same, shining brass with a tip that’s lead, filled with gunpowder.
A little piece of the power of god in my right hand.
On the table is a bottle of whiskey, Jack Daniels Old No. 7. A small glass half filled is
beside it. I take another sip with my empty left hand, then place the glass back on the table.
I pick up my pack of cigarettes, Marlboro Reds, and stick one into my mouth. I light it with
my black Zippo.
“Here’s to the frog on the mantelpiece...”
It’s about time for me to carry out my mission…
“Who dipped his tail in some red hot grease…”
I cock the hammer of the pistol with my thumb, ready myself for the impending doom. The death
of all my inner demons. They have been haunting me for the past ten years, screaming at the top
of their lungs that they want out, so they can roam the earth free from the oppression of my
conscious mind. The drugs I’ve used to control them, in particular, are one of their big gripes.
I’ve stopped taking them for the moment.
“And hence from this day forth it shall come to pass…”
I take another sip of whiskey. I lay the cigarette, still burning, in the ashtray along with the
butts of three packs worth. I’ve been a busy boy, smoking for all these bastards inside my head.
Gloria, the blonde who lives inside of me, is a persistent smoker. She wishes I smoked Camels instead
of Marlboro though. We can’t always please everyone though, can we Gloria? Is that why I’ve not gotten
a blowjob yet? Probably. Fuck Camels though. They taste horrible compared to Marlboro. Or the
occasional pack of Luck Strikes.
“The he is the frog with the French fried ass.”
I pull the trigger.
Suddenly, a million things begin to race through my head. My conscious mind reminds me that I forgot
to take my daily aspirin for preventing heart attacks. Gloria begins screaming about giving me
a blowjob if I move the gun a little away from my head. Impossible, I remind her. The bullet is
too fast.
Speaking of the bullet, the hammer hits the firing pin. The firing pin then hits the casing of the
bullet, which ignites a small cap that then sets the gunpowder off. The gases from the ignited
gunpowder should cause the bullet to travel out of the gun, away from the casing, at around
the speed of sound. All of these thoughts will be over in less than a fraction of a second.
A millisecond even. The bullet should enter my head, pushing the brain matter in the way of it’s
path outward and onto the wall to my left, leaving a nice blotchy inkblot on the wall. The red
kind though, with brain matter. Not the one that the psychiatrist uses to determine of you’re
crazy. I’m crazy, I already know this. So does everyone inside my head. They laugh at him. They
think he's an amateur apparently. They talk about it during meals and around the water cooler
at the office of memory inside my mind. It's like a warehouse. Boxes of memories, everything
from them to my atm code. Fun.
But nothing happens. The toast will not be my last words after all. Everyone breathes a sigh of
relief, and Gloria gets to the blowjob. I know it’s not really happening, but it’s still her way
of thanking me for putting the gun down. Which I do. It’ll probably be the last time it happens
though.
Then I start to cry. I cry ten years worth of tears. And suddenly, all the demons decide to make
an escape attempt. They run from the lights of the prison, into the open fields surrounding it,
being chased by imaginary machine gun fire. The German Shepherds that I’ve just made up start to
try to sniff them out, but it isn’t any use. They’ve all finally escaped they tyranny of my mind.
Even Gloria. She finished early and bolted. Slut.
I’m alive, and finally my mind is alone. It is happy. Content with it’s loneliness. Enjoying the
purgatory of being self-involved, enjoying the need no more for prison walls. Everyone else is
gone, but I’m still here.
So I light another cigarette, and start polish off the bottle of whiskey. I look over at the gun
and begin laughing like I haven’t laughed in ten years. I am finally enjoying life. And I repeat
the toast before I take the last swallow of the burning Tennessee Whiskey.
“Here’s to the frog on the mantelpiece, who dipped his tail in some red hot grease. And from this
day forth it shall come to pass, that he is the frog with the French fried ass.”
And I finish the whiskey.
And then I yell “FUCK YOU GUYS!” at the top of my lungs, and howl at the moon. I’m no longer crazy,
I’m just drunk. And I fall asleep in my bed, and dream a happy dream. Something I haven’t done in ten
years.
Submit Your Review for Last Two Minutes Of An Insane Man's Life
Required fields are marked with (*). Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
Submit Your Rating for Last Two Minutes Of An Insane Man's Life