The Shopping Complex by Purdeep Singh Two freinds who are continually working find time to run riot in a shopping complex one d... [2,053 words]
The Ebanese Pit by Sf A haunting story about the mysterious "Ebanese Pit" and the dark story surrounding it.... [2,855 words]
My Alienated Life by Kiara Avalon A story about a lost soul who just couldn't find his place in life. [230 words]
Where Are You Going? by Sharada Arun This story is about terrorism in Kashmir, India. Read on, to see how Faizel's and Ram's li... [1,958 words]
Tiny Tale by Tamsin Butler Updated version, have tried to write a story from a-z-a. [53 words]
Winged Maiden by Michael Schmitt Gaining freedom from a cage. [1,136 words]
Welcome To Reality by Judy K Cox Life in a seventeen year olds eyes. [1,705 words]
Virgil's Inferno by Kain Virgil, real life poet and fictional character in the Divine Comedy, rants abou this crappy af... [2,612 words]
To Blast A Hole... For Nuts by OverYouT ...interesting? [343 words]
Tiny Dancer by Lawson A short story about Savannah, a tiny ballerina with big dreams, spirit, spunk, and an alcoholic mot... [1,603 words]
Thegrarias by Jm Leary An ideal society in action. [2,744 words]
The Infant And The Moose by OverYouT A fucked up tale. [483 words]
The Girl Without A Soul by Hannah Brumfield What would it feel like to suddenly find out that you have no soul? Thats what happens ... [2,401 words]
The Family Gathering
The Exit Sign... A Lot Like Bob by OverYouT Hmm... my other titles must have been deleted, I dont know why they are gone? [317 words]
The Carpenter by Jm Leary A vision of Christ's thoughts on the road to Golgatha. [618 words]
The Campestris by Nad Anonymous Dark The campestris has simple goals; To find food for herself and her babies. But soon she is caught... [1,302 words]
The Burning Cottage by MurryT A man by the name of Mr. Jackson is about to commit a terrible crime, when he realizes that... [2,404 words]
The Bean Field Murder by Joseph Perrello - Josprel Cayuga County High Sheriff, Loren had investigated numerous accidents during his long car... [7,344 words]
The Average Guy by Benjamin Crump This story is about an average guy who gets to meet someone very special. [672 words]
Sushi's Day Off by Kain Really awful story I wrote about my Xenophobic cat Sushi. Supposed to have been like Ferris Bue... [1,948 words]
Son Of A Demon by Galvin Faulks They say that demons walk the earth, in the sense of being a force that causes people to commit ... [1,454 words]
Seventy Times Seven by MacKenzie Sky Adeline's brother is always mean to her. How can she get him to stop? I wrote this story wh... [3,100 words]
Satan's Deeds by Jj Grinvalds It is a suspenseful short story about a middle aged man who has a temper issue. [5,128 words]
Rock And Rose by Andrews - [1,372 words]
Polly's Morphism by Jay Porter Martin A young girl, dragged into a mental ward, with no past and uncaring of her future. Possessing ... [6,176 words]
Nights Past by Michael Schmitt Childhood fears. [1,329 words]
My Granny by Innovant Deis My granmother, a totally cool grandma with funny ideas... [1,681 words]
Midnight Express by Tay Angela - [2,896 words]
Look Beyond The Surface by Matt D Schumacker - [3,143 words]
Life Is A Journey by Maureen G Mills My story is about a 35 year old lady going through a rough divorce! She is trying to find her... [2,133 words]
La Liberté Aux Disposé Courageux (Liberty To The Willing Brave) by Aubrey Ashe Morrison This short story is about a young girl ripped f... [2,281 words]
Janet, My Father, And The Lampshade by OverYouT Umm... to fucked to understand... [373 words]
It Begins by Kristen Karlson This is the first part of a suit of stories "The temptation" is the second part. Please take a look. [3,133 words]
Incident At New Alaska by Ej McFall A radiation accident on Earth's new space colony endangers the lives of several colonist... [3,131 words]
I Pledge Allgiance by Elizabeth K Flannery A girl who moves from South America to the United States. [2,492 words]
Heroin Trip 3 by Kendall Wilt Well the first part of three anyway. I was just kidding about almost being finished. There is sti... [1,031 words]
Heroin Trip 2 by Kendall Wilt Added some more to this ongoing tale. It's all starting to build up to the grand finally now. [2,153 words]
Fucking A Squirrel by OverYouT Another fucked up thingy. [315 words]
For Richey by Tessak O'neill My story is about a young boy struggling with the death of his older brother. [2,331 words]
First Impressions by Uddhav Parab SHORT STORY ABOUT A GIRL NAMED RITA THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT HERSELF & EVENTUALLY DOING GREAT ... [530 words]
Fate - A Horror Story by Owen Johnston Death in and of itself is altogether a rather natural incident. However, it was the circu... [2,104 words]
Excerts by Joeb Van Der Ryn Excerts from the daily journal of a tormented man. [80 words]
Excerpts5 by Joeb Van Der Ryn How much more can I take? [104 words]
Excerpts4 by Joeb Van Der Ryn - [135 words]
Excerpts3 by Joeb Van Der Ryn - [207 words]
Excerpts2 by Joeb Van Der Ryn A bit more. [110 words]
English Garden by Michael Schmitt - [2,208 words]
Down The Memory Lane by Gomathy Its a childhood memory... [703 words]
Decision Time by Jessica Anne Nicole Decisions, decisions. Little curses that affect us each day. You can't run, you can't hide. They'... [1,733 words]
Day Of Memories by Michael Meihaus Memories are what define us, they tell our greatest triumphs and our bleakest failures, they ar... [1,235 words]
Corner Of Washington And Fifth by Mike Foster A racist old man feels like his life is slipping away and has lost all significa... [2,271 words]
Concerning The Void by Michael Schmitt - [1,720 words]
Color Greed Green by Lew Dallas Learning one of life's lessons: Greed. Doing the wrong thing in life, doing the right thing... [603 words]
Alone In Arizona by Jj Grinvalds This is a story about a man who wakes up in the middle of a snow storm and has no idea how he ... [1,370 words]
A New Discovery by Kari Fontenault Is our reality the only reality? [2,286 words]
A Little Piece Of Heaven by Lew Dallas A world of ecsape from the hectic lifestyle of todays modern world to a more simple an... [620 words]
A Day At Weightman Middle School by Alex Reuille This is a common day at my school Weightman in Wesley Chapel Florida. [969 words]
Pain Inside The Study by Michael J Musto This is a story about a man who is attacked and abducted. It is the story through the vic... [855 words]
The True Story Of The Little Red Riding Hood by Nicolette Cone Satirical version of the fairy tale, "The Little Red Riding Hood.... [1,301 words]
Where The Soul Ends And New Beginnings by Andrews All about love and not taking it for granted. [4,280 words]
When Night Falls by Meghan L Bell Don't piss off a vampire. [902 words]
Walking With Jesus by Sarah K Lewry My personal testimony of my relationship with Jesus Christ. [976 words]
Time Factor by Joe Dan Campbell Time factor is a story about a seral killer that goings around killing everyone for no good reason.... [301 words]
The World Is A Sand Castle by Tom M Fisher A man is kicked from his home and diagnosed with AIDS. He hates society and the pede... [1,470 words]
The Woman And The Creature: Short Story. by Scott M Heath This is a small short story which I actually wrote as part of the nove... [2,202 words]
The Temptation by Kristen Karlson This is just one part of a story I am currently writing, any feedback would be greatly appreciat... [1,238 words]
The Sketchbook by Angela L - [2,337 words]
The Real Laguna Beach by Tom M Fisher A man sees what corporations and the effects of commercialism in his manufactured daughte... [3,272 words]
The Key Maker by J Steven A man is given an amazing gift. [576 words]
The Indian Rope Trick by Nyman Perkins Elegant cruise liner passengers are entertained by an enigmatic Indian mystic. One passe... [1,201 words]
The Dream World by Sf Sam is a normal boy who has dreams that are sometimes horrific. tonight is no different........... [734 words]
Taking Out The Trash by Sarah K Lewry This story reminds us that Jesus wants to take all of the "Trash" out of His children's li... [1,735 words]
Take Me For A Ride by Fred Schwartz Simply minding your own business won't necessarily keep you out of trouble. [2,644 words]
Sin by Lady Sashi - [1,223 words]
See Dick . . . Less by J Rychwa -"Woman-scorned" short. Relatively graphic violence, sexual situations. Response to a wri... [7,412 words]
Puddles by Alesha R Preston An introspective look at the life of a coming-of age young woman. [1,336 words]
My Girl by Ann Herzer - [1,059 words]
Motor City by Kj Liddle A short story in the "story told in story" form. It is about a young man who tries to fill his time ... [1,712 words]
Losing The Sun by Riot A story of a suicide and its reprecussions. [1,288 words]
In The Midst Of Grief by Anna M Steiner After the tragic death of a loving husband/father, the mother and son move to a city apar... [1,641 words]
Heroin Trip 1 by Kendall Wilt Young fella's life explodes after he couln't tell a dude not to smoke weed at work. 2 parts now j... [2,435 words]
Friends Forever-Jeanna Small by Alexandra Rose A young girl must learn the right way to cope, after losing her two best friends. ... [2,376 words]
Fate by E Birdsong The beaches of Galveston, TX. Three lives torn apart by infedelity. And it all happened so fast... [2,887 words]
Face-Off by Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar A Counter-terrorist unit agent on the chase after a terrorist...except that he gets the shock of his l... [2,002 words]
Crimson by Meghan L Bell A little boy does something dreadful because of something that happened to him. [973 words]
City Lights by Upasana Datta To my grandmothers who are no more; though the story has nothing to do wirh them. [858 words]
Busback by Kendall Wilt A shocking tale of a special ed student with serious problems. In this story it's stand up for yourself... [4,823 words]
Best Friends No Matter What! by Rachel Martinez A motivational short story anout best friends. [460 words]
At The Knife Point by G S Vasu Kumar G S Vasu Kumar - [600 words]
All Or Nothing by Peter Halpin Loosely based around an experience I had, but is generally about a one sided feeling of attracti... [1,087 words]
A Happy Death by Kain I've been reading Samuel Becket's trilogy so this is kinda my own attempt at his writing style. S... [1,481 words]
21st Street Tavern by Mark Casey A man walks down the street to a pub after a fight with his wife, and realizes how much life... [1,739 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 [19] 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
The Family Gathering |
DESCRIPTION
A short story about my very crazy family. Highlights include having a party in a cemetary, and Cousin 'I'm a bad pirate' John.
[726 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Hanna Rose Ashton-Lawson |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
A girly-girl with an eccentric family and a will to wear earmuffs and get away with it. My stories are just observations of life and fashion that need to be told from a perky perspective!
[April 2006] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
angeleyes301@hotmail.com |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1)
A Shopping Excursion (Short Stories) This was a little observation of a day of shopping in Melbourne. After all, shopping is such a wonderful and inspirational experience for me. It's amazing the people you can meet... [702 words] [Humor]
|
The Family Gathering
Hanna Rose Ashton-Lawson
Today is the day for an Ashton famiglia gathering. Tomorrow is Nana Aston’s birthday, so the different members and attachments of the family are all currently sitting around on various camping, indoor and plastic outdoor chairs, none of which match, under a rotunda in the Maldon Cemetery. This family is ever so slightly eccentric, though I believe the venue may give it away. One year to my absolute disgust, my mother purchased an eel, cooked on the barbeque and me grandpa and her ate it. My great aunt was delighted- “Oh how lovely!” she said. “I haven’t eaten fresh eel in a long time!” How utterly repulsive.
Anyway the reason why we are celebrating my grandmother’s birthday at a cemetery rotunda is that my uncle happens to live in the cemetery. In a house, by the way, but that house just happens to be the old cemetery keeper’s cottage. How perfect, it’s so fitting for our family.
A bird was just spotted outside, an announcement was made (Mum- “Ooh, oh, look is that a pigeon? Quick everybody!”), and the entire family peered round excitedly. My grandfather jogged to his car to ‘grab The Bird Book’. This is an event that happens at every family meeting. It involves usually either my uncle, grandfather, or sometimes my mother flipping through the bird guide, until they find the required sparrow/ eagle/ owl. Once the bird has been identified, the rest of the family respond with enthusiastic nods and comments like “oh, I knew it was either that or a spotted finch.” The Ashton’s have a proven history of having a curious affinity with things of the animal kingdom, especially all things creepy crawly. Spiders, lizards and owls are the favourites, but most insects are taken into special consideration for discussions.
*Special note*- at the end of the day a beetle was discovered on a stick, and Uncle Mike, Grandpa and Mum all examined it for twenty minutes, trying to guess what kind of beetle it was. A real quote of Uncle Mike’s- “It looks like an assassin beetle. Look at the way it moves. Like a hunter. It’s quite aggressive in the way it moves…”
Yeah…whatever an assassin beetle is…..
We always worry that a funeral will take place during one of our regular get-togethers. I wish I could say that it hasn’t happened…
An elderly couple just arrived carrying cameras, and walked bravely into the rotunda to read the cemetery history. They are neatly dodging the table covered in festive looking dips, home-made breads, and neatly arranged fruit platters, and they are carefully avoiding my young cousin John who is brandishing a pirate flag yelling “I’m a bad pirate!” Very brave… We must look so creepy, kind of like the family from House of 1000 Corpses, but with cuter kids.
For twenty dollars, my Uncle Steve bought a paring knife and a “Forever Sharp” kitchen knife from a salesman peddling his wares in Big W, beside the boxes of cereal. An extra four “Forever Sharp’s” came with the purchase, so he passed one along to mum and Mike. Naturally, Mike had to prove the knife box wrong, so he brought out the knife, a lump of granite and a tomato. He then stood on top of a bench and cleared his throat to get our attention. After showing how neatly the knife sliced through the tomato, he had a dangerous look in his eye.
“Now,” he said, “wait ‘till I do this!” He picked up the hunk of granite and started savagely hacking into it. We all cringed and begged him to stop. My grandmother was horrified. “Michael stop that! What are you doing?”
My aunty said to baby Georgina: “Let’s watch crazy Uncle Mike” The entire family watched with a mixture of shock and eye-rolling.
“Ok,” said crazy Uncle Mike, “Let’s see if it’s Forever Sharp!” He stopped cutting into the stone (we all stopped cringing), and he sliced the knife cleanly through another tomato. We could all tell that he was disappointed, because the males in my family are a bit like that because they like to prove things wrong. However, I laughed because it truly seemed like a moment from an infomercial. We could have sold it to Danoz Direct and Uncle Steve could have had his twenty dollars back.
It was a classic Ashton Family birthday party.
|
READER'S REVIEWS (2)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"well hanna you did ok with this piece but i think i would change a few things like for one instead of saying you wrote it maybe you should my name next to auther i think it would work alot better, anyway apart fromt that it is such a good story i really got a grasp of you family and how they are nutters, like you i supose" -- Ericah.
"This story made me laugh so hard, seriosly your family seems really funny. you should be a published author!" -- Erin.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION) |
|
Submit Your Review for The Family Gathering
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for The Family Gathering
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2006 Hanna Rose Ashton-Lawson |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
April 2006 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2000
|
|
