ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
An aspiring writer. [November 2005]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1) Entity At Midnight (Short Stories) A man leavs work and is visited by something supernatural. [427 words] [Horror]
The Key Maker J Steven
I’ve worked as a key maker for a few years now. I have seen couples wanting copies of keys to their new house, some who want copies of their car keys so that, in case they loose one, they might have an extra key to open their car door. But there was one person in particular that I will never forget.
I did the things I usually do every morning before work. I go to the cemetery to visit the grave of my dead wife. I skipped breakfast, I never eat breakfast. Then I went to work. There was a man already waiting outside the door. “Sir the store isn’t open yet,” I tolled him. He stared at me then spoke, “But now you are here so it will be open.” I nodded thinking that this was a little out of the ordinary. I opened the door and we stepped inside. “So I assume you will be wanting a copy of a key?” I said, after stepping behind the counter. “Yes,” he answered, “may I also ask a favor of you?” I hesitated, and then I nodded. “What kind of favor?” I asked. “I would like to make a copy of this key and would you hold it for me,” he said, handing me a gold key, “I’ll be back to collect it after a couple of days.” “Ok,” I said. He said goodbye, turned towards the door, and left.
I had the strangest feeling, some kind of pull to that key. I made the copy and I put it on a shelf for safe keeping. A few days past and the man did not come back, but for some reason I did not mind. I did not mind keeping the key; I felt such a strong connection to it, a strange pull.
The trash can was full so I decided I would throw it away. I picked up the trash bag, and headed towards the back door, I grasped the door knob, but it would not turn. I had forgotten that the back door was not open; I did not have the key to it. I took the long way not knowing that soon I would have a surprise.
It was night, and I closed up. I was getting ready to leave when I heard a knock at the front door. It was horrible, a man warring a mask of a clown with a smile, a cold smile… was standing outside He started banging on the door, what was I going to do, where would I go, the only exit was the front door, then I remembered the back door. I rushed to it. Locked! It was locked, and I was trapped, I could hear the glass shatter, and my hart stopped, he was inside, he was getting closer. Then it struck me, the key. I reached in my pocket and took out the key the man had given me. I did not know how or why this idea came to be, but I was thankful because the door knob turned and I rushed outside, closing the door behind me. I ran and ran. Then I bumped into a police officer, “sir there is someone in my shop, he broke in.” The officer looked at me and smiled, it was familiar, it was the man who had given me the key. “Calm down sir, you are no longer in danger.
READER'S REVIEWS (2) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"This story, i thought, was quit interesting, however I did hope it would end better." -- Dillon.
"The story has a good basis and I am not a critic so don't take this as criticism because the only true critic of YOUR work is YOU. Just a few things you might consider. Make your character more three dimensional. How old is He? Has he always been in the Key business? Wouldn't he have enough pride to call himself a Key Smith? He visited his wife at the cemetery. How did she die, how long has this ritual been going on? Did he go home after the visit? or did he skip breakfast before going to the Cemetery? The Key...these two statements are two lines apart 'some kind of pull' two line later... 'a strong connection to it, a strange pull.' What was the pull...spiritual/religious? Your character works with keys day after day. Tell me why he feels so strongly about the key... The trash was full...wouldn't it also be a ritual to take out the trash? From what you described he seems detail orientated. If so let us readers know. THE BACK DOOR: He is a Key Smith...was the back door broken and he neglected to fix it? (Hey we are all human, we all procrastinate) It just brings validity to the story. What happened to the trash bag? Did he leave the store to empty the trash and return before locking up or was he heading for the front door with the trash bag in hand when he heard the knock? Was the main character at the door when he saw the man with the mask? (The clown mask is a good touch it adds a but of eeriness to the story.) The key at the back door. The character was panicked he reached into his pocket and tried the key out of desperation. DROP the line... 'I did not know how or why this idea came to be' Would the character really take time to close the door if he was running away? 'closing the door behind me. I ran and ran. 'Then I bumped into a police officer' Did the character run around a corner colliding with him or just closed his eyes and run straight for him? It was familiar (or) He looked familiar...? 'it was familiar...' Over all the story was Good...it is the little things that make it Great! Keep writing you have a good imagination..I hope to see you out signing books one day. A fan, P. T. Izyk Author of 'The Key Maker' (Short stories by) 'The Cost of Fame' (Short Stories by) " -- P. T. Izyk, Dallas, TX, USA.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION)
Submit Your Review for The Key Maker
Required fields are marked with (*). Your e-mail address will not be displayed.