READER'S REVIEWS (4) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Interesting...a little hard to read in places but a good story." -- km.
"Hi Zombie Eyes - an interesting moniker. I love the premise of the story - one worthy of the masters of horror however the story did not quite reach its full potential. I would leave this and re-visit it in a couple of months. The language needs polishing a little and there is come repetition but with polishing this piece could become a gem" -- Me.
"Wow, this is without a doubt my kind of story. I think this was a fantastic idea. It's one of those stories where you think, "Damn I wish I'd thought of that." However good as it is (and I read it aloud to my boyfriend who is working on a new snake viv) and we both really liked it, could I make a couple of suggestions because I think it could be better. firstly the technical bit, as already mentioned there is a hell of a lot of word repetition, with reading it aloud it jumped out from the page, puzzle and box are the worst offenders but there are others too. Secondly, I don't think the fact that he didn't see the picture works. It would be impossible to do a puzzle and not look at the design. I know you've tried to cover this by having a very dark picture with dark patterns but it just doesn't work. It's your story, you can have magic, I think the centre of the picture should only appear when the last piece is inserted. Now then the big one. I think the end was great ... but if it was my story I'd have the puzzle being a border with a black lined pattern on it, in the center of the puzzle is a square and I think the image that appears when the last piece is inserted should just be ... the time. Whether you make the changes or not.. this was a great read. I very rarely vote .. but I'm giving this a seven. Loved it, but think it could be improved on. " -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.
"Oh...I don't like the new ending sorry. I really think the first ending was by far the best and this now ruins the whole thing. I would have left the last one in and - sorry I promised never to tell an author what the plot should be but...i would write something in that he often would not wear his reading glasses as, after 70 years, doing puzzles would become a bit repetitive so he kept the mystery by not wearing them. The hazy picture niggles him as it looks familiar but the passion he feels about making this drives him on. He reaches the end and is really confused as there is one piece missing and this has never happened to him. Scrabbling round in the box he finds it and grabs and drops it into place. The atmosphere becomes hushed as he reaches for his reading glasses and... Please feel free to use this or delete this or curse at me. I am an avid horror fan and a publisher but alas, not anhad anything publsihed for a couple of years so please use your own judgement." -- Me.
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