ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Dylan is a 21 year old male from central california, who has found that writing stories music and poetry as well as creating artistic representaions of his emotions and thoughts, is a great release and relaxer [July 2013]
He sits down, chills nestled in his spine, at a loss for breath. Hes dreaded this moment. She walks out of the house, eyes glistening in the light, and agianst his will he cant help but notice how beautiful they are. Whisps of hair blow softly across her ear as she walks forward. She smiles slightly and says hello, and they embrace. The tension is obvious as he resists the urge to pull her close, embrace her with his arms as he has with his heart, yet he stands resilient despite the turmoil. Many times hes tried to find someway to be everything she wants and needs, but he realises now he never was, nor ever will be the one she craves. So he swallows his love and locks it away, trying to hide his feelings. He smiles to her face, but with each lift of his lips and flick of his tongue he decieves. She knows better than to bellieve his facade but it seems an unspoken agreement and neither presses the subject. The night is awkward and he cant quite choose words propperly. She questions him about somethiung he once said but only partially grasps the intentions of his comment. Little does she know that the very moment he had described was occuring right then and there. Each breath crossing his lips chills as its passes. Words hover front of his face, lingering in the air. He opens his mouth to talk, but he halts midstream, blood starts pumping, his pupils dialate, and the fear catches his heart in its icy grip He stutters and stumbles and struggles to speak to tell her what he wants so badly to say. So ever still does his breath remain chilled, crossing his lips and lingering before him, never finished, never spoken, never listened to. With his heart and jaw locked in a never ending battle he sits there silent. He fears to open up. He fears to be hurt or to hurt her. He tells himself that it will be alright but he knows oncee he finds the retreat within his room his mind will race, his heart will hurt, and she will never know. He acts stronger than he is. He stays longer than he should. So long he has gotten used to being the stepping stone, the foundation, the mortar, and the repairman that when he needs some help he cannot ask. He struggles on, speaking to no one, and lost in his mind. And so he imprisoned himself in his own cell and oddly hes content. The concept of love scares him so much he no longer wants it. He wants the pain to end. The hot coals to be removed and the salves to be applied. She will never know how much he regrets, how much he doesnt. Shell never know how much he loved and still does. He knows that the future is going to be rough and he knows her fantasy may one day crumble around her. And when everything falls he will be there to catch, not with open heart but his arms will remain. Hes begun to cut himself away, he isnt going to be the same person and he knows it and so as he takes another drag of a cigarette, he smiles knowing this was the last night hed be the fool who hopes
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