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Walk In My Shoes Alyssa B
Take a walk in my shoes and you’ll see what I see.
Walk a mile and you’ll find the person I will never be.
Disgusted by my image and the mistakes that I have made,
pissed off by the decisions and the path I chose to take.
I don’t know why I care when I know that life is unfair.
Everyone hates me, I’ve come to realize since I have opened my eyes.
I’ll never be perfect to the world I guess that is what it seems
and I may not ever get the chance to conquer any of my dreams.
I’ll shout to the sky at the top of my lungs,
I’ll yell and scream like a child whose life has only begun.
I’ll cry because the world has stabbed me in the back.
I’ll never understand just why-why I deserved that!
I’ll do what I can to understand it all…
I’ll live everyday in high hopes and constant faith!
Even though were world’s apart with every wall I find, and broken bridge I cross
We live together heart to heart!
Grew up as the preppy girl although I wasn’t one to wear fancy pearls
Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister and American eagle was my world.
Colorful earrings of blue, red, yellow and green
newspaper hats and jewelry yeah that was me.
Like the boy bands I heard on the radio
First off BSB, Nsync, and Dream street
Later became Simple Plan, Elmoro, GC, and Blink
Writing songs about my life and where I want to go
But there was another side of me that no one had ever gotten the chance to know
Until now, because it’s time to let me true feelings show!
Mom says it’s not good to be different or try to express yourself
it’s not a good idea to try and stand out
it’s better to fall back and get lost in the crowd.
What would people say if they knew the truth
of the life I live and what goes on inside my room.
I learn Arabic in my free time and I pray every night
for peace in Palestine!
I would love to skateboard every night and day
and play guitar behind a closed door in my room
How cool would it be to snowboard off my garage roof
Oh how I wish you could take a walk in my shoes!
Everyone thinks I live in a perfect world; I got a dad who is called Mister Right.
Just because he is his own businessman who is rich and nice
The truth it seems so hard to believe but all we ever do is fight
My dad and I don’t always see eye to eye in fact we never do
He doesn’t understand me, wont let me express myself, or let me be with who I choose.
If only he could see by talking a walk in my shoes!
I’ve never been smart in school and I never followed every single rule.
There was so much I did that my parents never knew.
I was put in detentions sometimes on Saturday morning
I just didn’t tell my mom exactly where I was going.
I got lunch suspension and had to eat in an empty classroom
I stared for a while at the clock as the moments ticked right by.
Yeah these were the days of my high school life.
Maybe I seemed like a goodie too shoe but I wasn’t always that way
I tried some stupid things that got me in trouble almost every day.
We fight all the time and nothing I ever do is right
No matter how many times I clean my room it’s always messy each night.
I was sick of the way I look when I look in the mirror each day
I wanted to try something new and hope it would turn out okay
Black polish I painted on my nails and lip gloss of a new shade
I shopped in different stores and gave my life another road to take.
It was exactly what I needed, a checkered belt and suspender pants
with a matching black and white wristband.
Maybe something new to put in the center of my lip I called it a lip ring
My mom says I must be acting out, I guess I am rebelling
Listening to different music hanging out with a different set of friends
Changing my whole life style and hoping it never ends
I wouldn’t say im gothic and I don’t call myself a freak
Im just expressing myself in who I want to be.
I know it’s hard to believe but I’m not as perfect as you may think
I’ve tried some pretty stupid things-
In college I partied way to hard I tried pot and ecstasy and actually puy a pacifier in my mouth
I went to pharmaceutical parties and thought that I was cool cause I was taking vicodin, morphine and Norco
I was popping pills only to get high I was huffing in a brown paper bag of paint inhalants.
I rolled my own blunt on J block in the dark; I hung out on the reservation and will always be forever scarred from what I saw. I hung out in trailer parks at the fair and spoke to random people because I really didn’t care.
Yeah I got depressed sometimes and tried something I regret
I wrote a suicide letter and tried to kill myself in my garage.
I sat in my car for four hours with the engine running and a towel shoved in the exhaust.
When I was close to passing out, my eyes couldn’t stay open anymore.
I wondered who would find me behind these dark closed doors.
I realized I was being selfish and I would get through this rocky time.
And I knew right then and there that I couldn’t take my own life.
I went back inside the house and took a good look in the mirror at myself
I hated the person staring back at me. Who in the hell was this person that I had come to be?
I was tired of broken hearts and promises that I packed away upon my shelf
It was by far the hardest thing I ever had to do
To look in the mirror right into my eyes and tell me that I loved myself
And I would hold on even though I wanted so bad to let go.
If you could walk in my shoes for just one day
you might see what I have to hide and why my fake smile says it’s all okay.
Like Tupac said perhaps I was addicted to the dark side, somewhere inside my childhood witnessed my heart die.
There aint no hope for the youth and the truth is there aint no hope for the future.
We aint meant to survive cause it’s a set up and even though im fed up I got to keep my head up…
If I told you I never thought of death that’d be a lie because we the last one’s left…but life goes on!
Take a walk in my shoes and you’ll see what I see
but if you walk a mile you’ll see the person that I will never be.
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