AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (10) A Journal Entry For The Reviewer (Non-Fiction) This is my journal entry for Monday January 10th, 2005. [237 words] All Of The Worst. (Poetry) A narrator carries us through his friend's bad day. [457 words] Darkland Lost (Short Stories) A man is found after bing lost for some time. [1,219 words] Family Dinner. (Short Stories) A family's final meal together. [2,023 words] Haiku From Home... (Poetry) Just some stupid haiku by the worst writer. [65 words] Star Shining Masterpiece. (Short Stories) A man exposes his masterpiece, to an overly critical girlfriend. [3,953 words] The Building(Part 2 Of ?) (Short Stories) Phillip Morrison continues his travels through the seemingly endless building. [1,767 words] The Building (Part One Of ?) (Short Stories) A man awakens in a white bed, surrounded by white walls. Clueless as to what lays ahead, he begins to embark on a life altering journey... [1,158 words] The Final Statement. (Short Stories) A man about to be executed makes his final statement. [1,221 words] The Threats Against Edward Solomon High (Short Stories) An unusual day at a high school. [4,313 words]
Oh god. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Dammit. How could I? How could I fucking forget. Is there any hope? Jesus. Jesus Fucking Christ. Shit Shit Shit. FUCK!
How could I. One time. One time without a condom. One little fuck up. SHIT SHIT SHIT!
I need a cigarette. No. I need a drink. A big drink. I’m going to drink this one off. I hate God. He really fucked me on this one. I’m going to get so drunk.
God, I’m such a waste. I get, potentially, the most important news of my life and I’m talking about drinking. I could have been doing so many other things. I chose to have sex. I’m such a waste of fucking life. The ultimate trash. I should have never been born. None of this would be happening. Like last week you were driving to work. There was an accident on the side of the road. You kept saying Jesus people learn how to drive. Just cause you were in traffic. And then when you got there you were rubber necking trying to see what happened. And all those times you called off work and weren’t really sick. Grow up. You smoke. You’re a smoker. I was just asking for this eventually. Such a loser. Big time.
It happened so fucking fast.
Jesus please don’t let this happen. Oh god let me take back time. One month. Please. It was an accident. A mistake.
I’ve been a good person. I’ve been an excellent person. Pay my taxes. I donate. I volunteer. Well not lately. But I have. I forget for a little while and this is what happens. I’ve been busy lately. I can’t do everything. There’s five hundred nine hundred ninety nine billion other people on the planet. Why do I have to be the only one that volunteers? I help my mother. I go and see her once a week. She always has things around the house for me to do. And last week at church, I gave an extra ten dollars. Church. That’s where I met her. Dammit. One time. That’s all it took. Fuck.
I help more. I’ll be a better person. I’ll stop smoking. I’ll exercise. I’ll adopt a kid. I’ll start going to church every Sunday. No. I’ll start going to church everyday. And I’ll pray. I’ll be kinder. I’ll give more money to those people with the bells outside K-mart. Please I’ll do anything.
This can’t be happening. Wait… no. This is isn’t happening. It’s a dream. I’m dreaming. I have to be. This doesn’t happen to people like me. I’m going wake up soon. Very soon. This must be a dream. It feels like a dream. Nothing feels real anymore. I’ll pinch myself. I’ll pinch myself and I’ll wake up. No. Shit. I didn’t. This is real.
There’s a mistake with the test. There’s no way. It was just one time. I can’t be. I’ll get another test. But it says I am. It can’t be wrong. Can it? Maybe they got my sample mixed up with someone else’s. This isn’t mine. Things like this don’t happen to people like me. They seriously don’t. Fuck.
Maybe it’s a trick. It could be. This is some reality show. If I just give them the depressed individual look someone will come running out. They’ll tell me it was a joke set up by my friends. I’ll laugh it off, get drunk and this will all be over. Someone. Please. God fucking dammit.
Is it really true. I’ll get tested again. I’ll do it first thing tomorrow. But it says it. Right there. Positive. I don’t care. It’s not true. But one time. That’s all it took.
But it’s true. These tests wouldn’t be wrong. They can’t be. They’re designed to test for it. Such a stupid decision. But one I’ll have to live with. Can I? I could end this now. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad. How can I take it back? I can’t. They’ll find a cure. It’s not over till it’s over. Do you really believe that? Is there anything else to believe at this point? That’s going to be the only thing that keeps me alive. The fact that there may be someday a cure. I feel like crying. Go ahead. It will make you feel better. It won’t do any good. When the tears are done, reality will still be there. Let ’em flow. I already am. I have AIDS.
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"Is this a friend of yours? Did this really happen? Sounds like some pretty bad news. Nothing is God's fault. Many of us made this mistake in the past. The good news for this individual is that God will forgive him if he asks." -- Nick Marshburn.
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