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Short Stories




Architects Of Our Own Demise by Harvey Kennett Man questions God for answers... and God replies... [369 words]
A Staged Disappearance by Ekaterina Alexandrova A Staged Disappearance by Kate Alexander. This story is based on a real person and thei... [2,277 words]
Anticipation by Ekaterina Alexandrova Anticipation by Kate Alexander. ... thoughts about a dead body. [789 words]
The Stair Case by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 6A. Several months after Anne and Andrew attend an airshow (which I haven't writ... [2,903 words]
Prelude To Separation by Shelley J Alongi In 1774 Thomas Jefferson penned a pamphlet that after some delay became the philosophical... [1,763 words]
Fear Of Water by E Rocco Caldwell What's is in out drinking water anyways? [637 words]
Calling by Shelley J Alongi Aviation story 16. Romance, roses, and a cool summer morning all give us a glimpse into how Anne and A... [1,580 words]
A Not So Ordinary Day by Shelley J Alongi Aviation story 15. A glimpse into the sometimes frazzled existance of a general aviation... [2,064 words]
For Love Of Lessons by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 13. Anne and Andrew Crance have lived in this house for about fifteen years ... [2,295 words]
Little Things by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 7A. Anne and Andrew's first year of marriage is a good one. Humor, ritual, and lo... [1,672 words]
Confidence by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 12. Andrew helps a passenger become more comfortable with flight. We get to see him ... [1,712 words]
When The Gods Were Walking The Earth- Part 2 by Nik Siromah - [3,605 words]
Waiting For Ethel by AlexandrovaK About a man who realises something when it is too late..... [1,404 words]
Vomiting On Tony by Xoggoth The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words]
Vanishing by AlexandrovaK A madman comes to terms with his madness...... [2,347 words]
Unanswered Letters by Skyler Drevan - [354 words]
They Always Come Back by Paolo Debernardi The ghost story of a dead husband who wants to see again his wife. [541 words]
The Young Tigers And The Sugar Lumps by Nik Siromah - [2,789 words]
The Waiting by Paolo Debernardi The tragic love of a guy who is waiting for his lover but everything turned tragically. [704 words]
The Voice Of Melodi by GutierrezJ - [2,641 words]
The Vampires' Club by HarryPotterAGHp The twist of fate to lead you to the Undead! [904 words]
The Two Bills by Xoggoth William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony by Xoggoth Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance. [1,377 words]
The Raid On Castle Storm by NeedhamT In an age of blades and magic, mighty forces battle for the command of the world. Thi... [1,676 words]
The More You Wish... by BransonA A short story about a man given a gift people dream about, only to find out it's not nearl... [370 words]
The Literal Day by G David Schwartz The Literal Day is a surreal true story of a day no one would want to live through. [1,926 words]
The Last Decision by J A Little A man has robbed a bank and now he has come outside and the police has surrounded him and he ... [410 words]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm by Xoggoth A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satani... [1,158 words]
The Fine Art Of Nitzing by Kathy Lafollett The rights of passage for both child and parent are numerous. This is one view of one ... [970 words]
The Door by Skyler Drevan Another addition to my 'Fable' collection. [287 words]
The Deetahgle by NeedhamT The ultimate vehicle is actually an animal bred with genetic engineering, a mix between a cheetah... [502 words]
The Briefcase by SidS It is about a soldier during the Kargil Conflict, his friendship with a journalist with a twist i... [825 words]
The Blue Insomnia by CalbayR A young man figures out his sad end as nobody's care and memory. [1,916 words]
The Beast Bar by HarryPotterAGHp It's a horror story with a gruesome end. You might find something in cmmon with your true monstro... [616 words]
The 5 Dollar Bill Story by NeedhamT Tells the story of how a 5 dollar bill travel through 3 totally different people. [986 words]
Success by Skyler Drevan Another part of my 'Fable' anthology. [275 words]
Speak Freely by Skyler Drevan This is another addition to my "Fable" anthology I am creating. [258 words]
Soup by Xoggoth A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words]
Some Body by Harvey Kennett Two lovers collide.... [220 words]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba by Xoggoth A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little... [1,108 words]
Rons, Socketers And Knots by HaulicaM A young man guides the tourists into the virtual reality (or into the real virtuality... [2,311 words]
Resident Evil: The Iniative by DonnJ - [351 words]
More Beautiful Than You by IngramAE A couple waiting on their daughter at a train station. [740 words]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions by Xoggoth A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words]
L'etranger by Nini A short story about living as a human being, realising how we view things from a very subjective poi... [1,057 words]
Let Me Be Your Friend by NilsonB Emily and her family have just moved into their new home, unaware that a psycho has escap... [5,002 words]
Lamb To The Slaughter by LloydT The story concerns a pop star, whose fans show him more appreciation than he bargins for ... [1,574 words]
Kulak by Nik Siromah - [2,613 words]
Jetel Forest by Steven T This is a short story I wrote for science class. I had to use certain words in the story, like wat... [336 words]
I Hate You, I Am Going To Kill You by LeighAN Jen hates something or someone, but she is going to kill it. [230 words]
Hoi, Hoi, Hoi, by Buxton A pitiful attempt at re-creating something that resembles The Clockwork Orange. Oh well here it... [286 words]
Heartburn by CalbayR Love Allergy anyone? Here's a comic take on a love phobic. [1,430 words]
Go Away! by Skyler Drevan She screamed louder than ever before. [254 words]
Exile Of Terror by Robert E Tadlock A galactic bounty hunter chases one of the most evil of demons. Earth will never be the same. [2,179 words]
End Of Season by Amelia R James The challenges and rewards of child rearing after a divorce. [690 words]
Dosvidanya by WigginP A short story about a mutiny aboard a Russian K-159 submarine. [1,134 words]
Disturbing Gift by Skyler Drevan This is a short story that has a taboo subject twist to it. Tell me what ya think. [262 words]
Devoted Husband And Father by Skyler Drevan - [268 words]
Delta Centauri by Paolo Debernardi The alien abduction of a man who will see life different from this experience. [1,593 words]
Blood Sister's by GutierrezJ - [1,473 words]
Awkward Osculation by StrawT The story of a boy, a girl, and a, well, read the bloody title. [762 words]
Arnie
Amnesty by Xoggoth A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere by Xoggoth Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words]
A Vampire's Mansion by J A Little Seven teens here about an old legend and they went to see if its true and they get the surp... [2,077 words]
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A Good Citizen From Stillwater by Gerald L Bosacker A short story. [1,565 words]
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1 Part, When The Gods Were Walking The Earth by Nik Siromah - [3,832 words]
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The Hunter And It's Prey by E Rocco Caldwell - [446 words]
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She Had Her Dog With Her by Wolfa Fiction/vaguely fantasy short story about someone obsessed with a woman. [2,617 words]
Raidon Plains Pt 1 by Michael S Upchurch What's the difference, nobody reviews anything on this website anyway. [3,602 words]
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Pretty Mary Ellen by Norman A Rubin A missing little girl disappears and found dead after being violated by a sexual maniac. [1,588 words]
Nobody Heard Me by Harvey Kennett If you found this when you returned home, how would you react ? [577 words]
Moonlight Enchantress Part Ii by Martini The second chain of D.Donley's "The Moon Enchantress" [142 words]
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Dead Letter Office - A Serial Short Story by David B Doc Byron A drug addled scientist attempts to create the perfect killing machin... [256 words]
Cryosleep by David B Doc Byron An ailen exacts his revenge upon his human oppressors. [386 words]
Codebreaker by E Thomas A historical fiction/science fiction story. This is based on the attempted takeover by Mary, Queen ... [4,363 words]
Child Murder by Skyler Drevan Another story written for my psychology class on a study in child criminalization in the last fift... [7,471 words]
Chicago Cutlery by Kathy Lafollett A glimpse in the life of utensily challenged mom. [1,229 words]
Cassius-The-Leg by Buxton A true story of a young squirrel's fight against repression and a day that would mark the end t... [648 words]
Can You Trust Us Strangers ? by Harvey Kennett Your life is not your own... [304 words]
Biding Its Time by Harvey Kennett Sometimes, you cannot rush Nature... [836 words]
A Trip To The Dentists' by Mulan A man shares his fear of the Dentist... comedy. [959 words]
A Sense Of Timing by E Rocco Caldwell - [564 words]
Ejaculating Jesus by Sean Scully Sinfully delicious. This story was semi inspired by a great novel called "Ten Thousand Sorrow... [1,987 words]
What You Deserve by Hope C Clarke A short story. [2,768 words]
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Braided Belt From Hell by D G Williford Frustration of trying to get to work on a rainy day... [393 words]

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TITLE (EDIT)
Arnie
DESCRIPTION
A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work.
[646 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor
AUTHOR
Xoggoth
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
-
[March 2004]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (25)
A Capital Fart (Short Stories) The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words] [Humor]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere (Short Stories) Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words] [Mystical]
Amnesty (Short Stories) A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words] [Comedy]
Back To The Garden (Short Stories) Depressing the extent to which everything is being dumbed down these days. Poor state education? Is that all it is? [527 words] [Mind]
Changing To Go Out (Short Stories) In the aftermath of the genetic bomb, a simple night at the pictures with the missus is no easy task. [444 words] [Humor]
God's Trainees (Short Stories) Him upstairs is thinking of retiring, all he needs to do is train up some suitable replacements. Easier said than done. They just don't make deities the way the used to. [1,570 words] [Humor]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions (Short Stories) A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words] [Humor]
Providing For Sarah (Short Stories) A desolate man finds comfort in an imaginary (?) companion. But who will care for her when he's gone? [883 words] [Mind]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba (Short Stories) A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little... [1,108 words] [Humor]
Soup (Short Stories) A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words] [Comedy]
The Adventures Of Archie 1 - The Great Escape (Short Stories) A sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Canterbury Tales sort of thing but sillier than the former and even more boring than the latter. In episode 1 our elderly rabbit hero escapes his hutch and disappe... [473 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 2 - The Little Demon's Tale (Short Stories) A hell spawned satanic creature identifies too much with men and falls to their level. [901 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 3 - The Spider Catcher's Tale. (Short Stories) Archie escapes from the paralysing purple and find himself in a world where an avoidable infestation has eaten all the perspective. There he meets the spider catcher and learns why ballroom dancing i... [1,313 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4a - The Great Regurgitato (Short Stories) Achie learns of the greats of bodily functions and meets the greatest of them all. [781 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [823 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 5a - The Army Surplus Salesman (Short Stories) Archie learns the truth they try and keep from us, that being disembowelled is fun, meets a descendant of the Piltdown man and travels to the army surplus fair to find Little Boy is no bargain. [913 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 6 - A Peaceful Solution (Short Stories) Following a Little Boy explosion Archie find himself on a desolate plain and meets two tribes who are too stupid to realise that war and bloodshed are by far the most efficient means of resolving disp... [1,271 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 7 - The Puzzleman's Tale (Short Stories) Archie finds he is not alone in the valley. He shares it with a man in a very strange prison. You have to endure a little homily on man's inhumanity to decorating materials first. [2,988 words] [Humor]
The Adventuresof Archie 5b - The Army Surplus Salesman's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [1,116 words]
The Fly And... (Short Stories) That Geoff Goldblum had it easy! One fly?? I should have been so lucky! [483 words] [Humor]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm (Short Stories) A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satanic being. [1,158 words]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony (Short Stories) Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance. [1,377 words]
The Two Bills (Short Stories) William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
Vomiting On Tony (Short Stories) The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words] [Humor]
Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too (Short Stories) Only the innocent find salvation. In the run up to the revelation the kids of St Crispin's Middle School are introduced to their own little salvations. PS I know Buddha was not a god, it's creative l... [1,442 words] [Humor]
Arnie
Xoggoth

I was almost starting to enjoy my job as a builder and decorator. The money was rather a come down from that of an IT contractor, but on the other hand I had no hassles, the other blokes I worked with were ok and I was home for tea nearly every evening.

Most of all I liked working with Arnie. Arnold Schwartzkoff was the boss's son. He was 5 feet 4, probably weighed about 9 stone and was not very bright. But Arnie had style. Like lots of small men he always imagined himself much bigger and tougher than he was and Arnie had imagination by the bucketful. Naturally with his name he modelled himself on Arnold Schwartznegger.

I first discovered how real Arnie's fantasies could be when we decorated Bothem hall. We had to restore some oak panels by stripping decades of paint off them and it was really hard going, some of the original coats were probably worth mining. Wally and I were flaming and scraping away when Arnie came in. He had one of those big flame things you kill weeds with and he had obviously spent time modifying it.

Off the shoulder with a flourish and pointed at the panels on the other wall. "Strip this assholes" he growled in his best Austrian accent and pulled the trigger. An enormous flame shot out and engulfed the entire wall. He stopped after four minutes when the gas cylinder ran out. Not only had the paint stripped off the oak panels but the oak panels had stripped off the wall and the ceiling was alight. We legged it.

Old man Schwartzkoff doted on Arnie so, despite the effect the incident must have had on his insurance premium, he kept him on. Arnie behaved himself for a while after that, but you can't keep a good terminator down forever.

Some months later we had to remove an ironwork staircase from another old house that was being modernised. A very saleable item, but there was no way of getting it out of the door in one piece. We sent Arnie back for the cutting gear. Big mistake.

"I'll be back". We dived for the back door as soon as we heard the engine. Arnie came through the side of the house in a muck spreader he had 'borrowed' from the nearby farm. "There you go, plenty of room" he growled. There was plenty of room to get the staircase out all right but we did not get the chance. The owner had been upstairs at the time and was lucky to escape with his life. There was no way we could pretend this was an unfortunate accident and Arnie got probation for criminal damage.

For almost a year after that Arnie kept his nose clean but it did not last. We had to replace the lounge window in a bungalow by a much wider picture window. This meant knocking out a large part of the wall and we knew from the work we had just finished in the kitchen it would be a tough job as the cement in the walls was as hard as iron. The owner had been enthusing about the great vista he would have when the window was in. There was an odd look on Arnie's face.

God knows where Arnie got the explosives. When me and Wally drove up to the house next morning we could see him already in and standing in front of the window. Something in his face told us not to get out of the van. Arnie roared "Hasta La Vista Baby" and the entire front of the bungalow blew out.

Shortly after Arnie's funeral I unexpectedly got offered a contract by an old client. It would be nice to get back to some real money again, but I would quite miss working at Schwartzkoff and Son and most of all I would miss Arnie.

 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 Xoggoth
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
September 2003
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2362
 

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