AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (69) All I Need (Songs) Depression, wanting love but not finding it, better things to come. Think Evanescence, Linkin Park, Seether. [168 words] All I Need 2 (Songs) This is a slightly different version of the first one... no swear words. [166 words] Best Friend And Worst Enemy (Songs) Hard Rock lyrics... country sound... those two don't normally go together, huh? :) not my best work ever... I'm sick today LOL... thanks for the reviews. [154 words] Black Boots (Poetry) This is to my sis. [94 words] Can You See Me? (Songs) The title is the beginning of each verse. [62 words] Cast The First Stone (Essays) - [244 words] Cathartic (Poetry) Contains SI. Is short and choppy in some places for effect. Don't know if it will work. Let me know what you think. [95 words] Convey (Poetry) It's written to this boy whom I hold very dear. [180 words] Disappearing Beneath Myself (Songs) It is like "Going Under" by Evanescence. Same tone, anyways. [114 words] Do It Better (Poetry) Rants to my parents. Again. [212 words] Dreambook Snapshots (Poetry) - [180 words] Fading Away With The Rain (Short Stories) I wrote it based on the cover of "Fallen" by Evanescence. [137 words] [Drama] Fairy Tale Love (Poetry) Sort of a metaphor and at first it trips you up... You'll see. [95 words] Feather Flowers (Poetry) I wrote this a long time ago, right after I walked to the library from my therapist's office. [55 words] Fluttering Crush (Poetry) Description of feelings to a special person in my life, who does not return the gesture :( Look and see if you know what I am. [345 words] For A Moment (Songs) I want someone to hold me close and tell me I'm special. That's what this is about. [136 words] Forever Will I Love You (Poetry) Old poem... off the top... <3 yall! [58 words] Hummingbird (Poetry) I wrote this right after seeing the guy I like... it's also just about a hummingbird, my fave bird, and also my two late grandmothers' favorite bird... [59 words] I Packed My Bags (Songs) About how my parents don't appreciate me for who I am, and how sometimes, it gets to the point where we never wanna see each other again... [252 words] In Your Awesome Presence (Songs) It's a work in process... I believe in a Goddess too... but I wrote about the God... tell me whatcha think! Love y'all! [183 words] [Spiritual] Josh (Haiku) (Poetry) What does Josh mean to me? [10 words] Just A Little, Baby (Songs) How I'm feeling in the moment... [143 words] Little Girl In Photographs... (Poetry) Self explanatory, really... [180 words] Live For Your Own Lyrics (Poetry) I was thinking about this one guy I know that is kind of a loner. We went on a community tour with some of our classmates and he just lit his cigarette and walked over to a big rock several hundred y... [82 words] Love Prayers (Poetry) It's... well, once you read it, it is self explanatory. [113 words] Love (An Essay On The Matter) (Essays) Maybe love really does exist for those who aren't as fortunate to have good looks or funny personalities. I have my eye on a few prospects... or their words, anyhow. *wink* Love y'all. [368 words] [Romance] Make Up Your Mind (Poetry) About a complete dick that fucked up my life and ruined a friendship. Glad he's in prison. [259 words] Math (Poetry) I wrote this in math one day based on a nearby poster combined w/ feelings of my life. [103 words] Maybe Someday (Poetry) I don't think it's very good.... It's about someone... you don't know them... I think ;) [63 words] Nunnada'utsun't'yi - The Trail Place Where They Cried (Short Stories) It is about a white girl and her father during the 1800s having to herd the Cherokee out of Georgia because of the Indian Removal Act. It is also told from the point of view of a young Cherokee girl ... [1,675 words] [History] Pause (Let Me In) (Songs) It is bout mah mudder and fodder controllin mah life. [148 words] Poem Letter To My Coping Mechanism (Poetry) I've had too much trouble in my life. I don't need this anymore. I have God, like always, and friends, and family. I don't need it!!! [102 words] Red Faces (Poetry) Think about it. [57 words] Redundant Oxymoronic Paradox (Poetry) Nuff said. Thought of it in the shower!!! [93 words] Ruthie (Haiku) (Poetry) What does Ruthie mean to me? (I love my little sissy!) [11 words] Sam (Haiku) (Poetry) What does Sam mean to me? [7 words] Sitting All Alone By Myself (Songs) Just something I thought up... Inspired by my life, my friend Carla's song, and Dizzy Up the Girl, an album by The GooGoo Dolls. Love and peace and blessings to y'all! Stay crazy. [163 words] Speech Blanket (Poetry) Something I wrote in a sleepy state... and although I was almost "out", yes, I did mean to spell emptiness with a "y"... [21 words] Stay Away From My Way (Songs) It's a hard rock song... maybe not heavy metal... but definitely hard rock... punk... yeah... it's like a poem and a song... Love y'all and your reviews! Peace!!! [134 words] Surreal Awakening (Songs) My first song on here, but definitely not my first song. Think Travis, Simple Plan. Please review. [86 words] Synonymous Confusion... Thanks For The Help! (Poetry) It is just a jumble of my thoughts at this moment. [96 words] The Garden Of Edenia - Intro (Novels) It has bisexuality, self harm, and Wiccan terminology. Be careful! [663 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Eight--Bus (Novels) - [297 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Eleven--Donor (Novels) - [652 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Fifteen--Grandfather (Novels) - [410 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Five--Dyke (Novels) - [217 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Four--Secrets (Novels) - [176 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Fourteen--Accident (Novels) - [340 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Nine--Edie (Novels) - [527 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter One--Class (Novels) - [181 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Seven--Ritual (Novels) - [216 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Six--Cut (Novels) - [329 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Sixteen--Kiss (Novels) - [180 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Ten--Mind (Novels) - [420 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Thirteen--Song (Novels) - [933 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Three--Discovery (Novels) - [201 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Twelve--Mom (Novels) - [249 words] The Garden Of Edenia--Chapter Two--Group (Novels) - [465 words] The Opposites Of Love (Poetry) Another old poem...I don't think it's very good... <3 yall... [48 words] Throw Me Away (Like You Did Before) (Songs) It's about a guy I never had. :) [158 words] Val (Haiku) (Poetry) Who is Val to me? [3 words] Whatcha Doin'? (Songs) It's sorta Emcee, sorta punk rock. Those don't really coincide, do they? Oh WELL!!! [149 words] When I Need You Most (Songs) I wrote this on an especially depressed day. A little suicidal, though I'm not, thank God/dess. [188 words] Where Are We Now? (Songs) Sort of a poem song... wait. all songs are poems LOL... about how trapped I feel sometimes. I'm sick a lot, but my parents never believe me, and I'm trapped in what they believe. [193 words] Where Does She Go From Here? (Short Stories) It's about my life thus far... in a way. [477 words] [Self-Help] White Hawk (Poetry) What does my white hawk mean to me? I can't finish it until the bird flies here and lets me know he won't poop on me. [37 words] Why, Oh Why? (Poetry) A compilation of new and old poems I've written... some are more songs... hope you enjoy... please review... love y'all! [175 words] Yesterday And Tonight (Poetry) Something old w/ a lil something new... [50 words] (Especially) Without You (Poetry) slam poem ish bout a friend... or what I want to be MORE than... [170 words]
Baptism Testimony Desi Williams
November 5, 2011
I wrote my testimony in the new journal my mother bought me as a way to distinguish between my past (my old journal) and my future. It is my “NEW LIFE” journal. I am getting baptized tonight. I am also re-starting my clean time as I work on my recovery toward sobriety.
My previous journal chronicled two years of my life as I struggled with depression, homelessness, and ever-increasing powerlessness over my addictive personality. Every time things started to go well, I would find some way to justify my self-sabotaging. My whole life, unhappiness and anger and pain and anxiety were more comfortable and easy to understand and deal with, than this elusive unknown called happiness… peace… sanity. Without God, my life had become every synonym imaginable for unmanageable. I was swept up in the throes of dark desires, trying to fill the hole in my soul where He used to be. I grew up thinking I knew who God and Jesus were, but I soon grew weary of the posturing and insincerity, as well as being told what to do – I’ve always been headstrong and willful. Major events in my life clouded my vision and sent me spiraling downward, and I began to believe God wasn’t there, at least not in the way everyone else had told me He was. I wanted to find out for myself what was out there in the world, and until then I would no longer box myself in with the Christian label. On my Facebook I listed myself as an Eclectic Exploratory Agnostic. I had bouts of intense depression followed by attempts to alleviate or mask the pain and heartache with different methods like drugs, alcohol, sex, divination, food, and sleeping for days on end. I ended up losing out on school, housing, and Job Corps because of partying, and also I see now because I had denied God the position of Ultimate Authority in my life.
One of my best friends took me in when I got kicked out of Job Corps and had nowhere to go. She invited me to the church her aunt and uncle started, and the first sermon I ever heard there struck such a chord with me that I kept coming back for more – it was then I realized how hungry I was, and that the only thing left I was refusing to try, was the only thing that would satiate me. I’d gone for such a long time adamantly claiming I wasn’t a Christian, and I’d gotten these notions into my head that all religions are equal. And I had worked so hard to become Switzerland regarding every controversy in my life: politics, friend drama, my view on substance abuse, and spirituality, among others. But as I finally relented and started going to Intensive Outpatient treatment at Catholic Community Services, and got into temporary housing at the YWCA, a gear began to shift from Neutral into First – the first part of the rest of my life. For a short time I tried to do it on my own once more, by not going to church or group for about a month. But then things started falling into place – housing, school, friendships – and I can’t attribute any of it to anything or anyone but God; moreover, no one but Jesus. Along with my church family, my sober support, and my ever-patient family, I had the pleasure of discovery Campus Christian Fellowship when I started back at Whatcom Community College. All of you here, as well as a slough of others not here, have impacted me in such a way that my only response can now be nothing else but praising the name of Jesus. As I’ve been learning, the only way to help others grow closer to Jesus and stronger in their walk, is to do so myself. And I can say from experience that this is totally spot-on. All the people I’ve recently grown close to in my walk have constantly shown me ways to be a better Christian. Furthermore, I’ve learned that the essence of this faith is based in the love of God and the selfless, sanctifying sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Nothing can harm me now that I am surrounded by His wings.
Tonight, I am publicly declaring my decision to turn my will, my life, and my future over into the hands of the Almighty Father, and His son Jesus, and accept the Holy Spirit into my heart to be with me always. I am sharing with you a symbolic representation of a personal transformation. I’ve been bathed in the power and love of the Holy Spirit, and Jesus’s blood cleanses me of all my filthy stains; I am shedding my old life and stepping into a new one as a Princess of the Kingdom of God.
I’d appreciate if you could all bow your head in prayer with me.
Lord, I offer myself to you, to use me for your purposes and change me into a new person in Your image. I lay my burdens at Your feet, that through Your blood and grace and mercy I may have victory and freedom. Let all I come into contact with see Your light shining through me. Help me be a living example of Your power and love. Not my will, but Yours be done, God. In Jesus’s Precious Name I pray, Amen.
Submit Your Review for Baptism Testimony
Required fields are marked with (*). Your e-mail address will not be displayed.