10:15 by Lawrence Peters A short story about fate and speed and the things that bring people together. [713 words]
The Go-Between by David Gardiner Everybody in the big city is looking for something. The trick is to find out what. [1,638 words]
Talent Takes Patience by Andrew Allyn Rasmussen This story is an interview with my next door neighbor, Christopher Beier. He has a treme... [821 words]
All For Her by F Luis Alvarez The ultimate sacrifice for the ultimate love. [834 words]
Winston (Part 4) by Wolfa Continuing story about a pitbull and a crazy woman... I don't really see the need to describe ... [3,116 words]
Till Death Do Us Part by Sorcha Colleran A chilling tale about a grieving husband. [873 words]
The Unwanted Doll by Debbie Bailey A little girl finds a lonely doll to bring home for Christmas. [821 words]
The Serpent by Simon King Beware your sins... [6,543 words]
The Promise by Debbie Bailey A fictional account of a woman caught in the WTC tragedy and the firefighter who rescues her. [2,453 words]
The Official Brown Envelope by Anna J McGuire A short story based on the challenges faced in war, by the men at war, and their wo... [829 words]
T-H-E N-U-T-Hare B-A-R-T-E-R-I-N-G R-A-B-B-I-T K-I-D by Christopher Dark This is a true story about the lives of 4 people I know ve... [2,454 words]
The Music Of The Spheres by Simon King Can you hear that noise...? [3,946 words]
The Little Things In Life by Fiona Shine This is a story told from the wiewpoint of a man who has spent most of his life in pr... [976 words]
The Greatest Gift by Debbie Bailey A woman reunites with the man who got her pregnant 25 years before. [7,498 words]
The Cab by Jeremy Shackleford Four people ride the same taxi at different times and the cabbie realizes between all of them.And in on... [927 words]
Qualities Of A Friend by Andrea Diane Brown John Denton, a high school sophomore, is excited to learn about the new neighbor his age ... [844 words]
Puppy Love by Debbie Bailey Animals do fall in love too! [747 words]
Peripheral Vision by Simon King In some places, the past and the present are very close... [2,838 words]
My Sweetheart by Debbie Bailey A high school student gets his girlfriend pregnant. [12,593 words]
Mightier Than The Sword by Simon King How much do you hate your boss...? [2,506 words]
Melody's Journey by Rose Trimovski It was her journey, her destiny to find the castle and to get the sword that had powers of the... [8,992 words]
Love That Never Dies by Andrea Diane Brown Daniel Jackson lives with his father. Both are having a great deal of trouble overcoming ... [1,273 words]
Finding Fleur by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words]
False Accusations by Andrea Diane Brown Something's wrong in Sandra Richardson's life, but she just can't figure out what's going on.... [1,304 words]
Dirty Apartment by Sunny Description of my dirty apartment and its cause, me. [756 words]
Deadly Persuit by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words]
Dawn Rising by Sue (Sooz) Simpson He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words]
Dark Solitude. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no... [1,434 words]
Creeping Up From Behind. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tel... [925 words]
Cold, Cold Night.. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would h... [630 words]
Car Trouble by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Boys will be boys. [496 words]
Breakfast In Bed by Sue (Sooz) Simpson She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words]
Barriers
Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock by Sue (Sooz) Simpson A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all abo... [2,144 words]
Attractions by Sue (Sooz) Simpson People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words]
Apple Of His Eye by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words]
Angel Stew by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words]
Agony by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words]
A Fork In The Road. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words]
Madness by Keri McGriff Story based on the life of a woman in the mad house. [593 words]
Thelma's Dilemma by Elwin L Wormwood Thelma Price is about to loose everything she holds dear, until a teenage boy arrives and chan... [3,101 words]
The Medium by Stan A Fowler An engaging and personal battle by an arrogant talk-show host to undermine and expose his guest to r... [4,843 words]
You Verbally Bruise by A Delusion Of Adequacy Just fnding no depth in peope in general. [666 words]
Winston (Part 3) by Wolfa The escaped pitbull forges a partnership with a bum. Meanwhile, the woman Dana believes she h... [2,671 words]
Should Have Would Have, Could Have Been by Alberto Pupo A story of regrets and mistakes.... [638 words]
Observations At An All You Can Eat Buffet Line by Ashley M Smoger Story satirizing Buffet Eaters. [506 words]
Janeska's Story by Ashley Burdett A story of the Holocaust told through a victim's eyes. [5,942 words]
Greatest by A Delusion Of Adequacy The most brutal writing I've ever done. [967 words]
God's Hiding Place by Lawrence Peters - [230 words]
Feng Shui Movers by Kelly Moran My short story involves a reluctant heroine who hides behind new age philosophy instead of tak... [1,922 words]
Dor Omhan by Kai Zi Led "It was... my wife's," Jrudam said, much to Omhan's embarressment, "An earring. I had it made f... [2,810 words]
Describing by A Delusion Of Adequacy The only thing I've written that I like. [532 words]
And Angels Crept. by Duluoz First attempt at writing a novella..(semi-bio)..i'm only two chapters into it but would enjoy... [1,325 words]
Alien Mask by John Barnovsky This is a third-person narration about the encounters of a mountain rescue team with a small clan of... [9,096 words]
The Ticket by Kurt Kitasaki A satire on people who play the lottery. [912 words]
Winston (Part 2) by Wolfa The pitbull, Ripper, plots his escape, and a strange young woman is introduced. [3,397 words]
Winston (Part 1) by Wolfa A brutal, viciously intelligent pit bull -- a champ pitfighter -- makes his way from the dogfi... [3,013 words]
When The Blood Runs Cold by Jack M Brown A murderer surveys his victim, while trying to certify that he has done the right thin... [419 words]
The Medusa Raft by Dimitry Shreders The Medusa Raft is the story of one man ascension from cowardice and personal despair to courag... [7,100 words]
Thanks For Asking by Charles Bishop Twisted Bishop The town that polices it own. [787 words]
Papa by Lawrence Peters For one of the greatest there was. [473 words]
Nympholepsy by Rowen Ravera A bit of prose? attempting to leave the reader aware of violent emotions - particularly relating to... [499 words]
Its A Dog's Life by Ramkumar Menon This story is a poignant description of relationships between human beings. The idea is brough... [1,830 words]
If Not (Dog), Then What? by Jaaffar Munasip A short story of deception and self-believe. [1,344 words]
Devil's Embrace by Black Widow It's an erotic tale of one woman's descent into madness and masochism. [5,139 words]
Boston Blacky by Ken Whan An extended twist on a folk tale. [1,439 words]
An Intimate Conversation With The Powers That Be by Robert G Hagans From the mind of the hopeless cynic, comes a very strange but ... [1,070 words]
When Sylvie Sang by John Kraft A story of love, food and music. [2,030 words]
The Story Of Trading (Featuring Man And Ape) by Rowan Davies 'Tis a humourous tale of the begins of trade. Ape knows the key to... [1,609 words]
The Signal by Tom Campbell What if our search for extraterrestrial intelligence proved fruitful? [876 words]
The Men And The Beast by G Sandberg A descriptive description of the horrors of the D-Day invasion of Normandy. [586 words]
Simple Pleasures In Vegas by R James Hunter One chapter of an in-progress novel. Examines life through one man's ego. [389 words]
Face Your Life by Niall Power Street racing community. [621 words]
Bad Boy by Richard Koss A true story about a bad boy growing up in 1950. Was he just mischievous? Would his behavior be consi... [2,844 words]
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TITLE (EDIT)
Barriers |
DESCRIPTION
Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block.
[2,913 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Thriller |
AUTHOR
Sue (Sooz) Simpson |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-)
[January 2003] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
sooz.006@virgin.net |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84)
A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery]
A Twist In The Tail (Short Stories) - [963 words]
Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy]
Agony 2 (Short Stories) Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive). [1,077 words] [Comedy]
Angel Stew (Short Stories) The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words] [Comedy]
Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words]
Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama]
Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama]
Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama]
Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror]
Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy]
Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words]
Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words]
Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama]
Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama]
Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama]
Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama]
Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama]
Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words]
Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words]
Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama]
Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama]
Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama]
Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy]
Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama]
Furtive Glances (Short Stories) Always the last to know! [891 words] [Drama]
Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama]
Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy]
I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind]
Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic]
Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words]
Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama]
Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama]
Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama]
Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure]
Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama]
Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words]
Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama]
Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama]
Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama]
Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama]
Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama]
Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama]
My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words]
One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama]
Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama]
Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action]
Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama]
Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words]
Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic]
Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama]
Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words]
Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words]
Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama]
So This Is My Life Then (Short Stories) - [517 words] [Comedy]
Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama]
Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words]
Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama]
Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama]
The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama]
The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama]
The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama]
The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words]
The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama]
The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words]
The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama]
The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words]
The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words]
The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama]
The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama]
The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words]
The Spark (Short Stories) - [557 words]
The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror]
The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama]
Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama]
Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama]
Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama]
Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words]
Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama]
White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words]
You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
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READER'S REVIEWS (5)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"A good horror story, but too much "closure" at the end, I thought. Might have worked better if the "screw" experienced further sightings of Lightning and started doubting his own sanity. Leave it a bit more open ended? Well writen though." -- David Gardiner, London, England.
"I think this one could do with the whole final third re-writing when I wrote it I doubted myself, I wasn't sure that I was getting the point of the story across clearly enough. Thanks David." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria.
"Yes, its a thriller, thriller night, your fighting for your life against the thing with the forty eyes. Yes its a thriller, thriller night." -- Joe Millionaire.
"Gabriele Roeder’s Review: Interesting story, again. Reminds me a bit of the works of the German author Franz Kafka (the one about the spider is in that same line). Good description of the atmosphere of the jail. Personally, I don't like swear words and sex, but I can see the necessity of using it here. These men just wouldn't talk like my heroes. LOL I hope I will be forgiven not to go into a line-correction this time (not that I see much to correct, anyhow) but I'm busy in participating in the Fiction and the Fantasy Challenge, so I'm a bit short of time. -------- Jade’s Review: First off: I love the deft, irreverent way the setting's atmosphere was established. His wife’s lover, it was said, walked with a limp and had developed an irritating stutter. That line made me chuckle out loud. Kudos for being graphic and frank; it made the prison gritty and realistic. Men in jail do masturbate, and they don't get much privacy for it, either. I'll just point out a few sections that I think could use changing: Baines was more scared than he ever thought it possible to be. Scared beyond screaming, or vomiting, or trembling. That second sentence is a fragment. :-P Many writers use sentence fragments for dramatic effect, and I find that it's an oft-debated device. Entirely up to the writer's judgement, I would say, but it would be safest to connect those two with a comma or maybe a semicolon. The overview image hung for a second, shimmering in front of Lightning, and then he inhaled. The long whooshing sigh that followed seemed to suck the overview into his body,..." I would suggest finding one or two other words to use for "overview" for variety's sake. Projection, apparition, illusion, etc.? Also, the words "that followed" are unnecessary. A sigh is the inhalation, so to say that it followed one doesn't make sense. Tonight, Baines let out his captive breath in a long low expulsion of relief. Mm, again, this one is the writer's call. I would just caution against overuse of description - it's a trap many fall into. In this case, 'captive' could be taken out, but it doesn't overcrowd the sentence, either. It would be a good idea to go over the text and look for adjectives or adverbs that can be eliminated. Baines is a convincing character, and Lightning is a deliciously disturbing one. The former grabs instant sympathy - a thankless job and a homicidal, supernaturally gifted psycho to deal with. Poor, stupid guy. The use of dialect in the dialogue is very effective, as well. Definitely makes the people and the situation feel real. All in all, very unique and well-written piece with great atmosphere. ...annnd that's all I can think of. I hope I've been helpful. :) ------- LaTroienne’s Review: Like Gabriele, this is not my favorite type of thing, but this piece is gripping and well-written. The first part is excellent, and then we meet the central character. I assume you're trying for a Hannibal-Lechter-type character here with an additonal supernatural twist. If I had any suggestion it would be to build the suspense more slowly and don't tell us so much right at the beginning. Right off the bat we're told about his taste for blood..body parts flew..officers in their graves. A rumor or a creepy feeling might be enough at this point, then show us how bad he is. I would suggest that you build the fear to a climax at the end. I personally would find seeing the guy on TV looking right at me more terrifying than just approaching his cell, but Baines seems quite calm at the end, while earlier his balls are contracting and his perspiration pin-balling just coming near the guy's cell. Having paranormal power and being able to control the guard are problematic; someone is bound to wonder why he can't just get himself out of jail. Unless the hamster metaphor is a trademark of the character, I'd use it only once. All in all, well done. Nice use of bodily fluids, too. " -- Cam Davis.
"Thanks Gabrielle and Jade.I'm sorry it offended you Gavbrielle, I try to make my characters, their actions and dialogue as real as possible. I don't suppose you hero's would be anyhting like these guys and thank God for it. Thanks to oyu both for the time and effort oyu put in. Thanks Cam. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Sue (Sooz) Simpson |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
March 2002 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
533
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