AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (6) Box Office Bust Chapter 1 (Novels) Andy is forced to do a group project for his cinematography class. Now all his group has to do is create a movie and get a good grade. Ah if only it were that easy... [1,602 words] [Humor] Box Office Bust Chapter 3 (Novels) The group rebels as Ashley tries to seize control over the productiom of the group's movie, now called "Money Doesn't Grow On Trees. Or Anywhere Else." [3,150 words] [Humor] Jetel Forest (Short Stories) This is a short story I wrote for science class. I had to use certain words in the story, like water cycle and primary succession, but I was still surprised with what I came up with. I guess it's sort... [336 words] [Humor] Poetry: Exposed (Essays) I wrote this rant about poetry when I was really frustrated because I had to write a bunch of poems in my creative writing class, which I hated doing. I got good grades on them, but I grew to really h... [734 words] [Humor] The Accident On Lane 17 (Short Stories) Andy Clannons friends Sharon and Maggie are causing chaos during a field trip to a bowling alley. Plus, Andy must battle his arch enemy Todd Flowerburg for the key to Sharon's heart. [4,154 words] [Humor] Touchdowns, Dandelions, And The Hawk (Short Stories) Andy Clannons never wanted to go with his friend Sharon Hobaltz to one of her social worker sessions, but he did, and got more than he bargined for. [3,319 words] [Humor]
Box Office Bust Chapter 2 Steven T
We started our “production” the next day after school in the cinema classroom. Our group had spent the entire class period that day arguing over Ashley’s script. Ashley had decided to write a full length script for our movie the night before without consulting us first.
The script told the story of a guy named Edward the hobo who had spent his life wandering around looking for happiness. One day he meets a seamstress named Yeldex who offers him a magical sewing machine, because after all nothing says happiness like a cheap sewing machine and a gripping plot ensues from there. Dan had issues with the script and so he argued with Ashley for most of the period. Nothing memorable was said during the arguing, except for Dan who observed:
“So Ashley you’re telling me that a poor homeless man would take five million from some gangster guy and then give it back to some mystical sewing lady for some magical, cheap ass bucket of bolts sewing machine?”
“Yes Daniel that’s what I’m saying. And Sharon’s character is a seamstress. I’m tired of you guys referring to her as ‘the sewing lady.’”
“Whatever. I’m sorry but when you’re poor money is first on your list of what’s important. Happiness and a piece of garbage sewing machine comes last!”
Dan then went on about how his grandfather had come to the U.S. as an immigrant from Russia, got a job at a computer company and worked his way up the corporate ladder. “And he didn’t have a gangster pop of nowhere to give him five million. No sir…”
There were no other groups in the classroom after school. There were a total of five groups of four so each group had the classroom reserved for one day a week after school. Ashley had brought some cheap props. Among them were Ashley’s own homemade hobo costume: A raggedy brown T-shirt covered with holes, worn tattered blue jeans covered with spaghetti stains and a fake beard, along with a change cup with the words Edward the Hobo written on it.
Sharon’s consume was a ruffled orange and black dress. She was armed with a sewing needle and her brown hair was tied back into a long pony tail. “The script” called for Dan to wear a suit and tie, as well as a ten gallon hat, and of course the five million dollar briefcase. Ashley hadn’t bothered getting any background props. Apparently that wasn’t in the budget. She ordered me to get in front of the camera, which was hooked up to a computer by a series of wired and cables. I could see myself in costume on the monitor. I looked like an idiot. Ashley moved behind the camera and looked in, trying to focus on me.
“Now don’t do a whole lot of moving around Andy. This camera has very limited range wherever this camera goes the computer goes. You have to allow the camera enough time to check up with you if you make any sudden movements all right? Because if I accidentally mess up something with this camera because you did something stupid, I’ll blame you and the rest of the group for the accident, understand? OK people you should know your lines, we talked them over, let’s film this masterpiece!”
“I don’t know if I would call it-“
“Shut up! Who’s the director here? And… action!
Ashley flipped on the camera and focused in on me by pressing a green button on the side. I knelt down on the ground, my trusty change cup by my left foot.
“Hi kids! My name is Edward and I’m a poor homeless man. I have so much to offer the world and yet for some reason I have never been happy. I was born into a poor family and when I turned eighteen my parents Charles and Olivia turned me loose and told me to make a name for myself.
They didn’t realize that it’s pretty tough to make a name for yourself in this world of ours if you don’t have any money to begin with. I’ll never forget the last words they said to me. ‘You’ll be happy someday son.’ And I’ve been searching for happiness ever since.” I paused and stared into the camera. “Look sad and pathetic” Ashley hissed. I twisted my face into a contorted frown and plunged on.
“Yes kids I want true happiness in my life more than money. After all I’m just I poor, penniless hobo. Why would I want money when I can steal it and eat rotten food out of garbage cans?” I asked sarcastically. Ashley killed the camera and rushed forward. “Andy you’re a hobo. You can’t advocate stealing when our target audience is first graders.”
“Hey a hobo’s gotta do what a hobo’s gotta do.” I said grinning.
“And another thing, you don’t sound happy. You sound rather smug. From now on I want you to refer to yourself as Edward the Happy Hobo.” She said matter of factly.
“Okay but I haven’t met a hobo yet that was happy about the fact he was a hobo.”
“I don’t care. Do you think first graders can handle the reality of Edward’s situation?”
I was about to point out the fact she expected first graders to pick up on symbolism but I just shook my head and got back in front of the camera.
“I have decided to take a walk to see if I can find someone who can ease my troubles.” I walked to the right towards the classroom door. This was Dan’s cue to turn off the lights and Sharon’s cue to come “on set.”
“Oh when will I ever be happy?” I wailed. I fell to the ground and slept. The room was dark for a few for seconds. Ashley tuned off the camera and Dan flicked the lights back on.
“Brilliant light work Daniel. I think that’s enough for today. Andy I want you to work on being a happy hobo. I must say that up to this point our picture is rather dark and depressing. You three will really have to step it up during day two of filming.” Ashley said.
“Why do you talk like a Harvard graduate? Save that Harvard vocabulary of yours for your valedictorian speech. Just use director’s lingo. Words like ‘cut’ and ‘action’.” Dan said.
I laughed. Sharon gave a wry smile. Ashley glared at Dan.
“Since you and Andy have been giving me the most trouble, it is now your responsibility to add something meaningful to the script.” She grabbed the script off of a nearby table and threw it at our feet.
“Goodbye you three, I shall see you tomorrow in class. I must say that up to this point working with you has been a load of boondoggle.”
She stalked out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
“I hope that was a compliment.” Dan muttered.
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