DESCRIPTION
My little brother was annoying me the other night and somhow inspired me to write this story. Any feedback or critisism would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. [635 words]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (2) Fireworks (Poetry) A really bad, short, slightly drunkern poem about fireworks. [32 words] [Humor] The Agent (Short Stories) I wrote this for my GCSE a year or two ago ago. The assignment was 'a story set in one room'. I would be greatfull for any feedback anyone could offer me. Thanks. [909 words] [Suspense]
Child Laurence L'abre
He dropped the phone on the floor causing a dull thud to echo around the darkness that surrounded him. Inelegantly, he thrust his hand into his hair and tugged violently on it, clenching his teeth.
He could hear the light footsteps of the child coming. Acting quickly, he rammed his head down hard into his pillow and bit fiercely on a roll of the crusted fabric, causing his teeth to ache uncomfortably.
The door was pushed open. Silence followed. He lifted his dishevelled head from the pillow in hope of ascertaining what had caused this eerie happening.
With a disdainful click, blazing light filled the room. His scream of pain was cut short as he forced his head back into the shelter of the pillow, shielding his streaming eyes.
The child skipped into the now naked room, exposed to sight, without the refuge of darkness, looking around inquisitively with his mouth hanging open in constant fascination.
The man breathed a damp breath of exasperation into his pillow, hoping that maybe the child would move on to another place of such majesty, asking no questions and demanding no interaction.
“What are you doing?” the child asked with happy innocence in his voice.
The man merely groaned and increased the already excessive grip he maintained on his bed sheet.
The child paused for a moment, as if to consider the validity of this response.
“No you’re not” he stated plainly and skipped, unmoved, over an untidy pile of magazines and out of the room.
The man relaxed his grip with relief and sunk into the bed. The light still burrowed through the cloth, dancing in the far sides of his gaze, as if to demand attention.
He slid awkwardly off of the bed and planted an unstable foot on the stained floor, lifting himself to a stand, only to sway and fall leaning onto the wall beside him.
He brought his hand up to the gleaming light switch and pressed down harder than necessary, relishing in relief as darkness crawled from within the cracks and recesses of his room and swirled back into rightful domination of his environment.
So distracted with this solace, he fell neatly back onto his bed and began again to sink contentedly into familiar despair.
Suddenly, his eyes filled with fire and acid as light once more filled the room, chasing his treasured blackness back into hiding.
His hands flew instantaneously to his face and smacked against his salty cheek, offering sanctuary to his tortured gaze.
Through the cracks of his fingers he could just distinguish the silhouette of the child, standing harmlessly. It was as though he had simply materialized in the doorway and now stood, waiting politely to offer some sickeningly adorable form of aid.
“I think you’re upset.” The warm naivety of these words caused the man’s crusted mouth to crack and tremble into a brief smile.
He breathed deeply and removed his hands from his face. Wincing so as not to let his eyes to become completely saturated in the burning light.
“I’m fine,” he said. And forced the stiff creases of his face into a thankful smile to ease the child’s endearing concerns.
Apparently satisfied, the child beamed back at him and passed though the doorway into new realms of people to find and offer his simple therapy.
The man leaned back onto his bed and listened to the child’s footsteps evaporate into silence.
He turned a head and looked around his room. The light gave it an alien radiance that he was both daunted and fascinated by at the same time.
He stood up and protruded a grimy finger towards the light switch. The finger hesitated in the air and wavered uncertainly.
He withdrew the finger and wiped it on his shirt. Breathing a sigh of submission he fell back to sit on his bed and again, looking around his room, decorated with new luminescence.
He sat in contemplation.
The light now reigned.
READER'S REVIEWS (2) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Very nicely written. I like how you lure the reader to a conclusion. I also like how you acknowledge the innocent intent in the child's acts." -- Jill, Buckeye, Arizona, USA.
"Well...I was laughing when i read the ending, nice ending. It is really a good one. Keep up the good work! =]" -- Cherie, Singapore.
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