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Dogfish Wolfa
Dogfish was a good dog, yus. A white German Shepherd. He had his problems, but to me, he was always a good dog. It wasn't Dogfish's fault that the people who had him first were COMPLETE AND UTTER SHITS. Dogfish was a good dog.
He was a guard dog, first, and sorta crazy, probly, 'cause of being chained up outside all his life. They weren't very nice to him, no (what kind of an ass names a dog "Dogfish"?) -- but they really couldn't be, actually ... they were crackheads, see, and Dogfish guarded that ratty little house. I went in it, once or twice. They had porn all over the place. Real nasty stuff. "Wendy goes Wild, Amateur Housewife", sort of thing. And there were these two little kids, half black half white, crack babies. Their mum was a prostitute, their dad was a real lowlife scum. Crazy lookin little kids. They were nasty, cussing and running around like monkeys on steroids. I s'pose it wasn't their fault, any more than it was poor Dogfish's.
One night I went over there and untied Fish. They used to beat him and stuff. It wasn't any kind of life for a dog, being chained up outside all the time. His neck had these sort of sore things on it, from the chain. He was happy to see me. After all I'd come over once or twice. Long story ... second cousin's friend's friend's mother sort of thing, right, and anyways we knew this one lady who actually owned the house. A bit off her head, but there wasn't nobody there who wasn't.
Fish loved it at my house. He could chase golf carts and raccoons and neighborhood kids. There were plenty of all three. He hated having baths, though. I had to tie him up out in the front yard and hose him. Then when he was wet I could scrub him with one of those plastic back-sponge things that are on sticks, you know the ones, where you can scrub your back with it? Those ones. And I had to give him baths alot, on account of his being white. He got real dirty. But even though he hated baths, tried to eat kids and once ate a raccoon, Fish was always a good dog with me. With other people, he was what could be called a "vicious, dangerous animal that ought to be put down". But I always made sure Fish stayed in the yard. I posted those "BEWARE OF DOG" signs on the fence. And then, when people didn't seem to get the picture, I put up the signs that read "WARNING: GUARD DOG ON PREMISES", with the picture of the slobbering, rabid-looking Alsatian. It helped that, being a somewhat raggedy white German Shepherd, he looked alot like a wolf. He didn't have that laid-back, furry, friendly doggish look alot of Alsatians have. He was a little on the small side, for an Alsatian, white (lacking the distinctive Alsatian "saddle"), and all raggedy and dirty, most of the time. Wolfish to the core. Sometimes I wonder if Fish was really a German Shepherd, and not some sort of freakish wolf-dog escapee. You always see those things on Animal Planet where there's these overweight yuppie-types who breed wolf-dogs and sell them online or whatever. Anyways. After Fish ate a raccoon in the local park people tended to avoid him. Poor Fish. He got driven a little crazy, living in that place.
I always looked out for poor Dogfish. He was my dog. He loved me and I loved him more than anything. It's crazy, sometimes, the way people act over their pets. You can love them more than people, and I think they're sometimes alot more deserving. I took him to some special animal behaviorist, to work on his little aggression problems. Fish didn't get along too well with the guy. But as long as I was careful with him, made sure he could never hurt anybody (not including the terminally stupid, ie; anyone eager to climb over that fence), then Fish was fine.
Three years after I got Dogfish (he was 5), I had to move to an apartment. I was very careful to choose one with pets allowed. I couldn't leave Fish behind. That crazy dog had saved my life. I was going through a real depression thing at the time, and I had to live to take care of poor old Fish, the beaten-up traumatized guard dog. I could never have left Fish.
But as things go, the landlord actually met Fish in person -- in dog -- one day, and he didn't exactly take a shine to him, know what I mean. I couldn't leave the apartment 'cause I had no where else to go, no job waiting for me elsewhere, and no real savings to speak of. There was no other choice. I had to give Fish away. I thought it might be better for him, really, to have a yard and everything again. Fish was a real one-person dog, though. I had to choose his new family with care.
I brushed him up real nice and told him firmly to behave when the people came by. There were two little boys. I wasn't exactly enthused about that but Fish didn't go psycho on them, so finally, I agreed to give them Fish. I told them to call if there was ever a problem and I would take Fish back, landlord or no landlord. They agreed, smiling insincerely, and led Dogfish away.
They called me once, about a week later, to say that they had changed Fish's name to "Prince" (or possibly Prinz, I don't really know, they were Hollander-type-people). Apparently "Dogfish" wasn't, in their view, a good name for a dog. I thought they were just full of it. A neighbor of mine once had these two dogs; a terrier-mix named Fischer and a little Australian kelpie named Morgan, who was a real bastard of a dog if I ever saw one. If you can have dogs named things like "Stubby" and "RinTinTin", then you can certainly have one named "Dogfish". Prince (or Prinz), they said, was doing just fine, and they kept him outside, and he was a bit snaaarly though wasn't he? and he certainly did go through alot of FOOD, were they feeding him correctly? Stupid people. If you're going to get a dog you should at least find out how much the thing EATS.
They called me the second and last time a little while later, to say that poor Dogfish had been put to sleep. He bit one of their little bastards on the arm. I wonder if they have a Hell for dogs and I hope not. It wasn't Dogfish's fault that he was a little bit crazy. I hope, in a pathetic, loser sort of way, that Dogfish is frolicking right now in Doggie Heaven and eating Heavenly raccoons, but it's a watery, pale sort of image. Inside I know it's really my fault that Fish died that way, because if I'd kept him he would still be alive. There are a million people the blame can be traced to -- me, the landlord, the family, the utter shits who first owned him, whoever bred him, god, the universe -- but in the end it's all the same and my best friend Dogfish is dead.
Anyways. That was around two years ago. I haven't gotten another dog. People can get a bit crazy over animals. There's probably another puppy out there who's beaten and abused and cold and hungry and lonely and scared, and I hope I'll find him and be able to make him happy, however short his life is. It just makes me sad to know that Fish died sad and alone, not knowing where I was, or why I had betrayed him. That thought will haunt me forever. It's not jackals that will hound my dying footsteps. It will be short, scruffy, pale-eyed big-eared white Alsatians, with wicked toothy grins.
I hope I'll still be alive enough to see them. I want to tell Fish hello.
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