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TITLE (EDIT)
Dreams Of Reality |
DESCRIPTION
Thought I'd give it a try... opening chapter of a plot I've been thinking about for a long time.
[659 words] |
AUTHOR
Briony Carvalho |
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ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
just me
[January 2008] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (36)
Autumnal Longings (Poetry) Just got a whiff of blackberries and I remembered my place in the woods where I went to think. [104 words]
Bananas (Short Stories) A very short short story [180 words] [Animal]
Brit Boys (Poetry) As promised Curious! [240 words]
Butterfly Love (Poetry) - [90 words]
Changing (Poetry) Can't ever decide anything - just jotted down the meanderings of my mind! [120 words]
Chorus Of Love (Poetry) My first attempt at a proper old school rhyming poem - one about losing 'the one' [116 words]
Destiny (Poetry) Waffly brain fart about how going back is easier than picking yourself up and moving on [153 words]
Eternal (Poetry) - [80 words]
Four Little Words (Poetry) Out the words tumble - this one is about relationships. [114 words]
He Laughs At Me (Poetry) OK being told off for not posting so here's a rubbish poem for you. [86 words]
Healing The Pain (Poetry) That feeling of uselessness you get when someone gets bad news. [105 words]
Heartbreaker (Poetry) Another attempt at rhyming - bit of a jokey one (makes a change from my terminally depressive ones!) [97 words]
How It Feels (Poetry) - [141 words]
I Cling To Hope (Poetry) Thank you MK, a little changed but still the sentiment is yours. [77 words]
I Haven't Got A Clue! (Poetry) Who does know the answers? [139 words]
Italy (Short Stories) this is a piece I've written for my Mum - PLEASE can you provide some feedback? [805 words]
Mouse Brain (Poetry) Weird little thing written whilst bored! [238 words]
Nidiot (Poetry) - [142 words]
Purge - Goodbye (Non-Fiction) - [487 words] [Mind]
Raindrops And Memories (Short Stories) - [804 words]
Reaching For The Moon (Poetry) Just a little thing I wrote in about ten seconds when a friend bowed down to everything her bloke wanted. [96 words]
Scourge Of The Future (Poetry) Inspired by Colin Baker - you can make a poem from anything, even an old lady rant at litter louts! [75 words]
Shall I Tell You What I Really Think? (Poetry) Grr angry poem. [94 words]
Sticky Taped Heart (Short Stories) - [844 words]
Swan Dive (Novels) A little attempt at the opening chapter of a comedy (loosely) based around me [418 words]
Swan Dive - Chapter 2 (Novels) Part two of my pants comedy novel. [1,553 words]
Swan Dive - Chapter 3 (Novels) Part 3 of my stupid novel - I will put it into the first person - when I can be bothered! [732 words]
Tears And Beauty (Poetry) Sad that people are so concerned with looks. [126 words]
The Final Battle (Short Stories) Read it and you'll see! Any comments on anything I do are hugely appreciated - even if it's just to tell me to give up! [348 words]
The Mythical Creature (Poetry) Bit cheeky! [94 words]
Tiny Dreams (Poetry) As with the rest.. five minutes of brain splurge! - please please review some of my stuff - even if you think it's utter bobbins! - just amended it to have less 'she's' in it, thanks KM for the advise... [150 words]
Verbosity (Poetry) Got bored and fancied writing a silly poem for a giggle! [53 words]
Waiting In Limbo (Poetry) For my mum. [89 words]
Where You Live (Poetry) Blah blah fed up of work! [151 words]
Who Knows What Tomorrow Will Bring (Poetry) - [68 words]
You're My Shoe! (Poetry) How I feel. [83 words]
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Dreams Of Reality
Briony Carvalho
She waited for the door of the train to open and his face wobbled and distorted through the moving glass. Nothing could stop the grin that crept onto her face as she walked up the carriage and sat down next to him. ‘Hello you’ she said, kissing him and breathing in his gorgeous scent. ‘Hey you, how was your day?’ he asked, kissing her back and running a finger down her cheek, sending shivers down her spine. He was perfect, his hair was perfect, his body was perfect, his smile was perfect. He chatted about his day and she gazed deep into his eyes.
The train jolted and she snorted herself awake. Peeling her head off the window she looked blearily up the carriage, it was empty and the train wasn’t moving. She blinked and looked out of the window. A swirling mist covered everything. She rather unwisely rubbed her hand over the window to check it was outside and got dirt all over her hand. Looking down her clothes seemed to come into focus. She looked for her bag and couldn’t see it then it was there. She shook her head and blinked harder. Was she still asleep? Putting her hand in her bag….train ticket, mobile, wallet, tissues… she took out a tissue and wiped her hand while staring out of the window trying to spot something, anything to let her know where she was. The mist seemed to have got into her head and she couldn’t remember where she was going. She looked down again at her clothes, smart jacket, suit trousers…work! The train started moving again and she saw glimpses of the giant gas towers that littered the edge of the track on the way to Reading. Slowly the front of the scene from the window emerged from the mist and she saw the end of the platform came into view. It was almost as though it didn’t exist until it came into focus; it all looked new and clean. ‘I must have had a heavy night’ she muttered as the train slowed down to stop.
Her footsteps echoed round the station. Not a soul was there with her. The station seemed smaller and different. She reached up to clean her glasses and realised they weren’t there…contacts? She didn’t remember putting them in. She walked up the stairs and got to the concourse, suddenly there was bustle and noise, hundreds of suits all at the top of the stairs. Never thinking she’d be relieved to see so many suits she pushed her way through the crowd to the next train.
She opened her eyes and Wokingham came into focus. Damn, slept again! This train was also empty and she couldn’t shake the fuzzy feeling in her head. She couldn’t remember what happened last night, in fact, she couldn’t even remember what day it was. The fear was creeping in now, everything seemed odd and as if it came from a long way away. A single figure came into her line of vision as the train drew to a halt. A man, tall, grey hair, suit, laptop bag…he was the one she had been dreaming about before she was rudely awoken in Reading. How? She must have seen him before. The train stopped and he was outside the door that was opening. His eyes met hers as they brushed passed each other and he smiled. ‘Hello Beth’ he said and the mist took over everything.
The alarm clock blared away next to her playing some tacky fake of an anthem. Her hand shot out and she turned it off. Opening her eyes she had no idea where she was. She had been dreaming, thank God. The man had been in her head. She sighed and rolled over to see a broad back in front of her with a giant tattoo of a hawk, scanning upwards she saw the grey hair of the man of the train and he began to stir…
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READER'S REVIEWS (10)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Hey, liked it wondering where your gonna go with it but I love the style and the flow keep me posted" -- Josh Halliwell, LA, USA.
"I think this is really good, I like the fact it's weird from the outset, as Josh said where are you going to go with it?" -- Briony's sister.
"Hey T, well it's all going to get weirder and weirder! There are going to be a series of 'meetings' with the man and a couple of others before you understand why it's all weird!" -- Briony.
"I can't wait to read the next part, should be great!" -- T.
"Not bad for Romance genre. Check out my Sally, Part One. Not romantic, but best I can do for a girl story." -- Gregory Allen, Mpls, MN, USA.
"Actually, it's not a romance...just a theme to introduce the character and 'the man'. It's actually going to be a psychological thriller but keep reading." -- Briony.
"Wow! what more can I say?? I really love the imagery of this story and I can't wait for more. Thanks for chcking out my stuff too :-)" -- l Jay.
"Thank you for your reviews. I am a little surprised that you liked my story "Sally". I must have generalized about your views from this story, where the girl dreams of the "perfect" man. Apparently, there is more depth of this character to come. The First Alex is the combination of a prologue and a dream sequence from another story. Several people, including professional editors thought it was a book synopsis. So, I am now expanding the First Alex to book length. Sally part two will be complete shortly, when I have time. Next, she awakens with the beauty she always dreamed of, with some strings attached. Read my Warm Goo, either version. It drips with attitude. God Bless." -- Gregory Allen, Mpls, MN, USA.
"I liked the story as I felt it had a lot of potential although I must admit I did find it a little generalistic in some of her thoughts about the perfect man etc but then again I am sure there are women out there that think like that! From reading your other work I get the impression that you will lead on to darker things and I felt it picked up pace in such a way that I was gripped!" -- Briony.
"Honestly, Carvalho. Fuck prose. You have the poets' gift. Prose is your bitch. What I like about your writing is your awesome emotive interpretaion of seemingly normal events and circumstances. Don't write novels like a write - write them like yourself - a poet" -- rubicon.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2004 Briony Carvalho |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
June 2006 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2801
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