ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-) [January 2003]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84) A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery] A Twist In The Tail (Short Stories) - [963 words] Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy] Agony 2 (Short Stories) Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive). [1,077 words] [Comedy] Angel Stew (Short Stories) The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words] [Comedy] Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words] Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama] Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama] Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama] Barriers (Short Stories) Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words] [Thriller] Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror] Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy] Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words] Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words] Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama] Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama] Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama] Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama] Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama] Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words] Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words] Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama] Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama] Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama] Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy] Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama] Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words] Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama] Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy] I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind] Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic] Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words] Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama] Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama] Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama] Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure] Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama] Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words] Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama] Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama] Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama] Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama] Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama] Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama] My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal] Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words] One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama] Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama] Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action] Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama] Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words] Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic] Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama] Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words] Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words] Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama] So This Is My Life Then (Short Stories) - [517 words] [Comedy] Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama] Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words] Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama] Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama] The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama] The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama] The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama] The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words] The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama] The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words] The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama] The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words] The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words] The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama] The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama] The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words] The Spark (Short Stories) - [557 words] The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror] The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama] Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama] Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama] Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama] Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words] Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama] White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words] Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words] You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
Furtive Glances Sue (Sooz) Simpson
Its funny but they always say the wife’s the last to know. Now, in hindsight looking back on things she thought she had always known; now it all seemed so clear. Too many times they had sprung apart as she had entered the room Too many times she had seen the furtive glances cast between them when they thought she wasn’t looking.
She had suspected very early on in the marriage, but told herself not to be so stupid, there was always that one minor detail that would keep them apart, they had to be ‘just good friends’ ... weren’t they?
And yet the signs were there, one dead give-away had been the way they worked together in the kitchen. “You sit down darling, you’ve had a hard day, we’ll get the meal ready” He’d say. They worked in companionable harmony, one humming the first verse of a song, one humming the second and then joining together to hum the chorus. Each side-swerving at exactly the moment the other was about to pass. Only two people who had moved together in a syncopated rhythm could move that harmoniously in the small galley kitchen. People who hadn’t been lovers, would clash head on between the unit and the sink, one dripping bolognaise sauce over the others shoes as they smiled in polite irritation. The hostess wanting to scream “Will you get the hell out of MY kitchen, and get out from under my feet”. The visitor thinking to herself “Huh they invite you for a meal, and what happens? You end up cooking the bloody thing yourself”. What in fact is said is
“You first”
“He he, no you first”
“Ha ha, no I insist”
“Ho hum age before beauty”
Then the dance of the “pissed ducks” takes place you face your partner. The slopping of more bolognaise sauce is of course optional but it works especially well when one partner has a boiling hot serving dish in her hands, and an inadequate tea towel between it and her. Then you each take a side step towards the sink, smile that polite irritated smile, think a few nasty thoughts and then take a side step to the unit. The dance proceeds thus until the hostess finally loses it and shouts at the top of her lungs.
“Stop right there, don’t move another inch or I’ll .....”
At this point the final splodge of Bolagnaise sauce splats onto the lino forming an interesting blot picture of a mother strangling a child, and you are led to wonder whether you should in fact be lying back on a well-upholstered couch saying.
“My mother never did understand me doctor.”
Yes the signs were there all along but there was always just that one penis too many that SHOULD have kept them apart.
They cooked together, took the kids to the footie match together, they even went skiing in Switzerland once a year and had a whole week together. This was only tolerated because in return she got a week at her very exclusive, and horribly expensive health farm. Neither one was prepared to rock the matrimonial boat too hard on that issue.
She thought life was rather like a non stick saucepan, that isn’t non-stick after-all. There you are simmering happily away, and then wham, you find yourself moulded to the Teflon coated bottom of the pan of life, floundering like a mollusc on mogadon.
It wasn’t as though he looked as if he batted for the other side. I mean how could you tell if your fella was a bit curly round the edges? He dressed to the right, had only one ear pierced and as far as she knew he’d never possessed a pink handkerchief. He didn’t show any abnormal desire to own a large studded leather dog collar, and was very particular about getting his aim correct when they made love. In fact their sex life seemed normal enough, usually twice a week for an average of about ten minutes from a cold start to, “Oh my god”.
She thought about Leonardo Dicaprio, in a leather G string, and he said.
“OOOh hurt me mamma” a lot.
Mind you Rob had bought him that inflatable sheep the Christmas before last; no, she flatly refused to think too deeply about that one. She felt the red, well-upholstered couch and the man with the pretty tablets beckoning again.
”It just happened,” he said.
Just happened! Just happened! Projectile vomiting ‘just happens’. Intense and unbearably agonising childbirth, ‘just happens’, well eventually. And come to think of it what sodding good was he then?
Stepping in dog crap, as you’re just about to get on the bus to town, ‘just happens’. Having a heart attack, and dying into your steak and kidney pie, in the middle of Coronation Street ‘just happens’.
Having it off with your very best, very male, friend does not “just happen” for Christ sake.
She popped another chocolate into her mouth in a consolidatory fashion, and continued to shred his clothes into inch long strips, that she then used to stuff a comfortably sized rag doll effigy of him. She took great delight in sticking hatpins, into his most tender of places, and just hoped that as he flew down the piste with his precious Rob, he felt maybe just the odd twinge of guilt here and there.
READER'S REVIEWS (6) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"WOW!!! What a fantastic piece of writing. You were spot on with this one, Sue. So many wonderful phrases, I can't single any out! I *loved* your paragraph describing why she had never considered her husband to be gay. Great stuff, as usual :D" -- Simon King, Ilkeston, United Kingdom, Derbys.
"I know this one is pretty light-hearted and it's a witty and well written story, but there are things to think about in it as well. The core of the story is the bit about things that just happen (projectile vomiting etc.) and things that we choose to do (having an affair). I wondered if the wife was really justified in her anger. What I mean is, somebody is gay (or straight) whether they want to be or not. That's in the projectile vomiting category. It isn't something we choose. Whereas in the more conventional set-up, a husband can usually choose whether or not to have an affair. I suppose in this case Rob didn't choose to be gay (or bisexual?) but he did choose to respond to the attraction he felt towards his male friend. So in a way she had something to be angry about, but perhaps the real object of her anbger was herself, for not seeing what was going on, or for marrying a potentially gay man in the first place. It's an interesting little tale, very thought-provoking." -- David Gardiner, London, England.
"Thank-you Sime, I really don't like this one. But I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it. Thank-you." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria.
"Thanks David. I wrote this with friends of mine in mind. they were happily married until he ran off with another bloke. He'd married her to prove to the world how straight he was. It was horrible for both of them. Luckily society is becoming more and more lenient and more gays are feeling happy to be themselves. Trust you to find the nuts and bolts in a lighthearted skit :-)" -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria.
"Snickers’ Review: As always, I think Sooz writes very well. I would address punctuation in this one (is there a recurring theme from this author?) ------ Ariel’s Review: How can anyone not love that? It's great and wonderfully entertaining. I love how it stayed lighthearted. The only thing I would really change is that the cooking section goes rather long and might be cut a little bit. That's all I've got. " -- Cam Davis.
"Thanks both, this isn't one of my favourites but I'm glad you both liked it. Thanks Cam. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria.
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