The Summer Man by K P William Cheng Surreal and susceptible. [446 words]
The Diary Of Walter Chan Part Two by K P William Cheng More Adventure and emotional troubles for the cute Chinese guy... the witty W... [8,649 words]
Coffee At Starbucks by Sunny Another twisted tale involving your favorite superhero's, Nullman and Superman. [1,188 words]
Angel Turns Pro by Lawrence Peters A Paranormal Parable. [472 words]
The Fate Machine by Darcy K Metz This is a story about a desperate man who finds a way to take control of his own fate. Or does... [1,157 words]
Poisoned Seed by Nitro A rough draft of a new work. Feedback and suggestions would be appreciated, and I will continue t... [810 words]
God Moth by Matt Tracy A look at the perspectives we take on things; and God. The question of who God is is a major focus of ... [1,390 words]
An Unhealthy Case Of Paranoia by Glen Pearson After taking some acid, a night on the beers is the last thing Pete wants. Larry'... [2,668 words]
A Story About Music by Luis Carlos Silva/Lyn It's kind of a fairy tale. It compares the impressions whe have when we listen to music to ... [1,185 words]
The Sun Ray Hit His Eyes by K P William Cheng Marriage, obligation, deceit, homosexuality, the cruelty of seeing the truth... [2,462 words]
The Blindfold by Danny I. Spitler A couple decides to meet in an most unusual and erotic manner. [1,679 words]
Joe And His Cat by Mark Herner A young college student finds a way to make money and acquaintances, to the amazement of his fr... [3,083 words]
Learning To Heel by Rekha Ambardar A mainstream (humorous) short story. [1,930 words]
Vanquished by Crazy Clown Death, Revenge, Death. Misery has gone full circle. [894 words]
The Test by Crazy Clown My first publishing-worthy (at least I hope) short story, on the topic of what religion is, was, and w... [1,118 words]
The Steel Circle by Steven K Mitchell Combat unto death! [3,053 words]
The Slapper by Glen Pearson A geezer unflatteringly describes his encounter with a member of the opposite sex after having one ... [1,350 words]
The Sisters: Chaper 1 by R. Nonny This is a story I wrote that takes place in a medeival time period in another world. [743 words]
The Muse Keeps On by Crazy Clown A tale of the joys and sufferings of the muse... [1,006 words]
T. S., I Remember by Jenny Mercer Haunted pictures? Do you have one? [802 words]
Shaman by Randy Guess A young warrior comes to a wise old shaman, on his deathbed, seeking the path to Sister Wisdom and all s... [653 words]
Journey To Xzorath by Steven K Mitchell A dark Shaman finds what he seeks... [1,739 words]
Harbor Light Mission by Randy Guess Account of a night and morning spent at Salvation Army's Harbor Light Mission for men in H... [3,374 words]
Grim by Arcanum Weird. [442 words]
Water Festival In Thailand by Danny I. Spitler In Thailand, the "land of smiles," one of the wildest and happiest celebrations is S... [1,701 words]
Waiting... by Lawrence Peters - [249 words]
The Monster Of Vangor by Nancy F. Carlson Please tell me if this is any god dog good? [1,535 words]
The Letters by Shawna Benson Katherine receives a letter from the man of her dreams... [1,514 words]
The Forest Elf by John Shade A man meets a forest elf [1,290 words]
The Absolution Of Margaret by Richard Koss A story about life in the confessional booth of a Catholic church. [549 words]
Streetlights by Annie Van Dalsem A young homeless woman, a former UC Berkeley student, chronicles 48 hours in her life on the Berke... [15,749 words]
Please Sir by Paula M Shackleford This is the first three chapters of a story I am trying to write, a sort of bonkbuster-cum-comedy ab... [12,851 words]
Letting Go by Paula M Shackleford A guy who has broke up with his girlfriend is writing her a letter to explain his actions. [1,264 words]
Blue Run At Telluride by Danny I. Spitler The author tests his nerve and his resolve in a challenging duel with a ski slope. [1,770 words]
Almost There by Paula M Shackleford An engaged girl runs into an old crush who once humiliated her, and is horrified to find herself s... [2,520 words]
A Story Problem by Kathleen Quigley A story written for Literature class that was almost true, but greatly exaggerated. [1,070 words]
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! by Crazy Clown When did being almost right, but still showing inderstanding of the question, be considere... [566 words]
Wormshither by Tony Seljuk a story of a boy and his love interest. typical fodder [456 words]
The Journal by John Christopher Cook - [3,980 words]
The Insane Ramblings Of A Complete Idiot by Crazy Clown An essay on the insane ramblings of a complete idiot. Written by a com... [1,090 words]
That's Ratings Suicide! by Tcn A satiric story done on one cynical night. [545 words]
Net by Barbara Villarreal Walking through the internet. [1,486 words]
"Even In Light, May Appear Shadow" by Stoneheart Don't you just love how life can reach around and hit you square in the butt... [674 words]
Untitled by Mary Jo Javier - [250 words]
Unstable by Margaret Li A short story about domestic violence. [1,108 words]
Tidings Of Comfort And Joy by Kathleen May “Tidings of Comfort and Joy” explores the loneliness of early adolescence and the in... [2,477 words]
The Widower by Tony Seljuk An elderly man, bored with life so much to the point where his own filthy socks are intriguing, ta... [1,990 words]
The Tree House by Steven R. Kravsow When you're a kid growing up, there are always three rules you need to remember-- look both ways... [3,691 words]
The Scissors by Glen Pearson Two lewd,crude,common geezers very graphically discuss a night of 'passion' that went awry for one... [1,297 words]
The Farnsworth Affair by Richard Koss An innocent man becomes trapped in a web of circumstance from which there is no escape. A... [5,045 words]
Reaping What You Sow by J W Wilson III - [4,031 words]
Know It? - I Wrote It by Richard Koss This is a funny, perhaps silly, outrageous story. I'm not sure of its exact origin, but ... [663 words]
Is She Playing Away? by Glen Pearson An ordinary bloke lies awake next to his girlfriend pondering over whether she's cheating ... [937 words]
Ilya's Song by Bert Paradis Narrative about profound sadness in a young child. [991 words]
Beyond The Fence by Mason Cole When a mysterious stranger wanders into a small Nebraska town, its citizens are forced to make... [6,840 words]
While The Iron's Hot by Richard Koss The story of a woman, a victim of spousal abuse, and her solution to the problem. [774 words]
Timmya The Totter And The Cave Adventure Part 1 by Rose Trimovski its a very interesting Adventure story about four kids that ... [9,800 words]
The Barn by Glen Pearson A barn offering food and comfort is not all that it seems to a hungry tramp. [1,505 words]
How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Times.
The Box by Mason Cole When two boys from the future cross wits with a man out of time, the world's future lies within...THE B... [5,497 words]
"An Honorable Man" by Zach Czaia A circumstantial meeting between bum and biographer that uncovers a dark secret about our co... [2,826 words]
Summers' End by John C Smith A true story about a local murder that became almost too local. [910 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 [47] 48 49 50
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Times. |
DESCRIPTION
An account of orgasmic discovery?
[372 words] |
AUTHOR
John C Smith |
|
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
-
[May 2000] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (5)
A Winter Poem (Poetry) Short [26 words]
Dad's Death And A Lesson In Tipping (Short Stories) A contrast in emotions. [446 words] [Biography]
Drop And Give Me One! (Short Stories) A short story. [1,015 words]
Summers' End (Short Stories) A true story about a local murder that became almost too local. [910 words]
The Smart-Ass Shall Inherit The Earth (Short Stories) A true story about winning by losing. [399 words]
|
How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Times.
John C Smith
“Be sure to let me know every time you have one, I want to keep track,” I whispered to my girlfriend while we were engaged in sexual intercourse. I was barely seventeen and had just learned from an article in Playboy magazine that women have orgasms. Up til then, my little self centered adolescent brain had assumed that the joy of sex for women was in pleasing us guys. Now after graduating from the University of Playboy, I was armed with the knowledge that I could give satisfaction, as well as receive. With my parents gone for the weekend and having the house all to myself I had all night to test this theory out with my more than willing girlfriend.
Two weeks later my mother confronted me with a report she’d gotten from the next door neighbor about a girl they’d seen leaving our house at all hours. “Is it true? My mother asked. “Yes,” I replied sheepishly. “I’ll bet you’ve been diddling her too, haven’t you?” “Diddling?” I asked, stalling for time to think of a good answer. “Come on you know what I mean. You’ve you been having sex with this girl haven’t you?” Thinking fast I tried to rationalize my behavior by playing upon my mothers’ homophobia. I answered with a question of my own that I knew would work to my favor. “Well you don’t want me to go homo, do you?” Her expression changed from anger to concern. “Of course not, but that’s not the issue. If her parents found out, you’d be in serious trouble. Or worse yet, you could get her pregnant.” Gaining confidence I answered, “Don’t worry. That would never happen. I know how to be careful.” To which she sternly replied. “Like hell you do. You don’t know anything at your age. This poor little girl doesn’t know anything either. Besides, I’m sure she can’t be enjoying it all that much. You’re too young to even know how to please a woman.” I puffed up my scrawny teenaged chest and with a swagger in my voice I replied, “Oh yeah? Well the other night she had eighteen orgasms to my one!” My mother rolled her eyes, “See! You don’t have a clue!”
|
READER'S REVIEWS (5)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Huh. Well then. I have one word for you, after reading this. What? What the hell WAS that, man? I am terribly sorry, but this was just not interesting, and coming from someone at my age, that's pretty bad. But, hey, maybe that's just me, but I like reading stories with point, or humor. If you are insistant that this is good, it could be, if added to a bigger and more complete story. " -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Coming from someone my age, thanks a heap." -- John C Smith.
"You know, European film festivals love this kind'a stuff. Maybe you should write a script." -- Carrilho.
"This story is dreadful start to finish. For one thing, every time a different person speaks, you are supposed to start a new paragraph. For another, I have a teenage son, and it is unimaginable to me that I, or any "normal" mother, would ever say, "You don't know how to please a woman" to him. Suggest you work on the dialogue. It is rubbish, and unrealistic, as it is." -- Candace Apple.
"Dear Candice, In regards to the handling of dialogue, I seen it handled both ways. As to it's truth, I can only say that it is. I was very lucky to have a mother that was very open and blessed with a sense of humor. She was no Dr. Laura (thank God), nor was she "normal" like you (double thank God). And thank you." -- JC Smith, Mukiteo.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION) |
|
Submit Your Review for How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Times.
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Times.
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 John C Smith |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
September 2000 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2274
|
|
