In Memoriam by Peter Rivendell Short and bitter-sweet. [38 words]
Magazine by Peter Rivendell This poem was inspired by the Berlin novels of Christopher Isherwood (which inspired the musical "Caba... [251 words]
Twisted Racism by August Nyghts ....its been too taboo to talk about but it exists! Racism Sucks anyway you look at it. I am ju... [356 words]
Extinct by August Nyghts - [151 words]
Deep Water by Peter Rivendell Just another day. I know this feeling but we`re not close friends, fortunately. [107 words]
Cheated by J L Watts Wrote this in about half an hour, hope it doesn't tell! Inspired by Ted Hughes, and along the same line... [29 words]
.-Phobia-. by Jaycob Soriano A poem about the reason why i feel uneasy whenever i'm riding any vehicle. [5 words]
Wings by Keri McGriff - [17 words]
Whore by Jason ''The Bloodman'' Taylor Blood isn't always what vampires lust for.... [74 words]
Wake Up by Keri McGriff - [16 words]
Unspoken by Buxton My first ever entry here. Don't laugh. [71 words]
Unending by Lisa Diaz-Meyer Just a poem. [55 words]
Troubled Mind by J L Watts In this poem I have tried to show the anxities of life that we feel, through images of feelings t... [90 words]
Timebomb by David B Doc Byron A poem dedicated to the late Ted Bundy. [155 words]
Thoughtless Crime by Rowan Davies Another Ed Gein (The Plainfield Psycho) related poem. Well, no one reads my stuff unless it's... [155 words]
The Decision by Mike Schiller - [1,133 words]
The Darkness by Theresa A Myers A poem about darkness taking over. [61 words]
Run Away by Tessa I'm restless and have this insane need to get away from everyone and everything... maybe I just need a... [87 words]
Our Ignorance, Our Sight by Eric A Hofmann I just sat down and wanted to seek out the big picture of why we believe and act the w... [106 words]
Not Who I'm Supposed To Be
Nightwalk by Peter Rivendell About walking alone at night. That`s it. [193 words]
Misguided Man by Eric A Hofmann I wrote this poem in my Study of Lit. class. It is about my bad relationship with my father. not... [67 words]
Love Still Whispers by George Wilson - [104 words]
Iraq Attack Part 3 by Stuart Eric Longridge Just following our great world wide movie. [260 words]
Into The Darkness by Tessa For The Devil. Thank you for corrupting my soul in the sweetest, slowest, and most gentle way... [229 words]
Imposter by David B Doc Byron A drug addict reflects back on her life after her arrest. [94 words]
His Shirt by Tessa Funny how a piece of clothing can stir up moments in time... [102 words]
Hangover by Tessa This is for Andrea... (And maybe Wade too, since he supplied most of our drinks!) For our night of cra... [139 words]
Green Eyes by Keri McGriff - [15 words]
Gorilla by Lawrence Peters - [169 words]
For The Devil by Tessa - [118 words]
Exorcism by Tessa For The Devil- I'm going back into the Light. I cannot stay in the dark- eternal damnation is just not... [98 words]
Exhausted by Tessa Rainy days... are sometimes downright depressing. Where is the sunshine?!?! This is what came out of ... [45 words]
.- Enigma -. by Jaycob Soriano A poem about paranoia. [17 words]
Death Of A Grandmother by Ashley Burdett I recently lost my grandmother and wrote a poem in her honor... [359 words]
Dancing Lights by Keri McGriff - [10 words]
Contemplating by Tessa Wrote this after I wrote Illumination when the Damn Devil was still hunting me... not sure if it'... [81 words]
As Of Yet Untiltled by Aaron Woodside Just wrote it one night on a whim. Not really sure if people can make sense out of it. I'... [125 words]
Abra Cadavera by David B Doc Byron The dead have a big party. [87 words]
Abomination by David B Doc Byron A poem dedicated to H.P. Lovecraft. [70 words]
3 A.M. by David B Doc Byron - [128 words]
Is It Worth It ? by Paul James Moore - [88 words]
Window by Tessa Broken hearts... Seems to be what's most written about. Found this last night. Written 01/28/96 after a ... [140 words]
When I Wrote A Poem.... by Muhammad Umer Gorsi This poem is just a humble effort which depicts the feelings of a juvenile, who very fi... [95 words]
What Will Happen Next? by Roberto J Moreno It's about traveling and time. [188 words]
Waiting And Waiting by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi - [63 words]
Tombstones by David B Doc Byron You figure it out. [225 words]
The Trees (Control) by Peter Rivendell It`s up to you to decide. I know what I think. (Title: Control - but that was already taken... [161 words]
The Second Comings by Stuart Eric Longridge You have only to look outside the illusion. [466 words]
The Missing Link by Ryon Smith Comparable to my earlier work and work to come. Vision of my mind and soul. [87 words]
Taste Of Defeat by J L Watts Something you don't see a lot of is boxing poetry, so I have attempted the defeat of a boxer he... [91 words]
Sounds Of Silence And What I Can't Say by Pearl S - [358 words]
Soulful Drippings by Wandering Minstrel A few poems for those who disappear in the masses and moolight as ghosts. [216 words]
She Calls My Name by Roberto J Moreno It's just a poem I wrote out of mental blindness. [118 words]
Semblance by Joshua Ortiz Can one overcome the various trials of life? [192 words]
Richard From Richardson Tennessee by The Birdman My best work. [58 words]
Phase To Phase by August Nyghts Moments in my head. [159 words]
One Fateful Night by Diane Copeland Love poetry. [26 words]
My Addiction by Tessa I find myself addicted... [169 words]
Lovers Never Die by Sadaf Shahab A man is died He is born to die It never counts Why he died Who is died When he died If an... [37 words]
Love Denied by Jeffrey (George) Winter - [171 words]
Love And Sacrifice by David B Doc Byron Werewolves, man!!!!! [147 words]
Lifelights by David B Doc Byron You figure it out. [237 words]
Lies To Succumb To Her Passion by Reagan Rothe A poem I wrote about someone that is sometimes dear to me and sometimes not... I... [151 words]
Le Fabulous Adventour by Roberto J Moreno It's a poem about my ex and I on a trip we took to the Keys. [214 words]
Late Night Train by J L Watts Kind of my take on Jack the Ripper taking the 22.30 to London Paddington. [53 words]
Kierkegaards Mascaline Swan by Andrew French Experimental poetry. [49 words]
I Wait by Peter Rivendell Another tale of urban anxiety... probably as much a song as a poem. [133 words]
Forbidden Light by J L Watts Quite dark and I'm not sure it reveals anything, definitely need some lighter material! [28 words]
Faces by David B Doc Byron A deformed girl finds a way to become beautiful. [140 words]
Drowned by Peter Rivendell A lyric for a love song of sorts - [293 words]
Distortion by Peter Rivendell Written about a million years ago, but still makes a kind of sense...? [129 words]
Distance by J L Watts Remember not to critcise too much- I'm a fragile soul! Have I just inadvertly thrown myself to the lio... [43 words]
Bored Clouds Of A Scattered Sky by J L Watts Trying to capture the essence of boredom through nature references. Not entirel... [64 words]
Anguish by Tessa Found this poem recently. Wrote it in high school. My, was I a sad, sad girl. I remember those depresse... [93 words]
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TITLE (EDIT)
Not Who I'm Supposed To Be |
DESCRIPTION
I said it was poetry but it isn't really. I don't know what to call it, but it's the feeling you get when everyone knows you should be more than you are and they're right.
[373 words] |
AUTHOR
Pearl S |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm a teenager; I like to write, play music, and read old English manuscripts.
[November 2002] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (14)
Everything's Routine (Essays) The frightening realization that people live their entire lives like gerbils running in their wheels, and sometimes come away empty-handed. [662 words]
Makes No Difference (Poetry) Not the Sum 41 song. [120 words]
Nothing Much (Poetry) - [328 words]
Snowing In April (Songs) - [346 words]
Sounds Of Silence And What I Can't Say (Poetry) - [358 words]
Special (Short Stories) - [1,338 words]
The Cool Clique (Short Stories) I actually did some reasearch for this, interviewed a few older friends... they don't understand it anymore than I do. [837 words]
The Masochist Boy (Novels) A neglected teenager confronts his addiction and depression with the help of an insecure friend. [35,178 words] [Teenage]
The Waves (Songs) - [160 words]
Watch Out, Henry! There's A Hole In That There Bucket! (Short Stories) The English Essay I Had Way Too Much Fun Writing. [4,772 words] [Teenage]
We Are Connected By A Net Of Faith (Songs) I guess the title doesn't say much, but this is my feeling about the coming war with Iraq. [296 words]
White Washed Walls, A Collection (Poetry) Acollection of verse: White Washed Walls: Something that came to me while I was sitting by my window... it was a bitter kind of day. Empty Wind-blown Streets: Pieced together from different hospital... [707 words]
Why I Got High, Ran Away, And Just Generally Screwed Myself Up (Poetry) A thought that popped into my head today. I think it might actually explain something. I don't know, I just want it to be out there. [34 words]
'ms. America' (Songs) If Ms. America was a typical American woman... [287 words]
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Not Who I'm Supposed To Be
Pearl S
I sit outside with the grass between my toes, looking up at the sky.
It’s black and studded with pricks of white like a diamond necklace in its velvet case.
The moon, a hollow eye, looks down at me looking up, and I think it’s frowning.
I imagine its disgust, its disapproval, its downright austerity, and I see it in the haughtiness of the pale white ball’s blank stare.
I fiddle with my guitar, start on some melody,
eventually I drop out of key, and lay the thing back down beside me.
I smooth the grass around me, cool to the touch and quiet with the summer breeze;
it’s full of voices, denunciations and accusals, but none of them are human so I let it all be.
I let it all be.
I came out here to find peace, but when you bear the burden I do there’s no such thing.
I see in every flower, every shining star, the contempt the world holds for me.
I’ve been running and I came out here to hide
but even the summer won’t grant me some piece of mind,
because there’s nowhere left to go and I can’t pretend I still don’t know why.
I sigh. I sigh, and pull my knees up to my chin,
and the moon turns its back and goes from me behind a shadow’s thin
veil of distance, an outright resistance to me.
I close my eyes but I can’t sleep because their voices’ haunting me,
victim to their scrutiny, I come away not even one inch clean
—their eyes are into my heart, rip my thoughts apart,
all the things I’ve started and all the things I ought to have done,
and what I could have become, if only I hadn’t let myself go, I’ve gone and let myself slide away,
out to lunch please excuse me maybe one day
I’ll come back and claim what is mine,
maybe one day I’ll achieve the potential I’ve left behind.
But for now they all turn their noses in the air,
they whisper, their eyes burn like iron when they stare,
because they all now know just as well as me,
that this isn’t who I was supposed to be.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 Pearl S |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
March 2003 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1912
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