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Pain Inside The Study Michael J Musto
My heart was pounding
I never should have taken that walk through the park
Slow-short steps get quicker and larger with every gust of wind
Rustling of a bush to my left drops my heart to my toes
The screech from a rusty swing crawls up my spine
Every second I was without light
The shorter and shallower my breaths got
A sudden scrapping of the sidewalk from behind leaves me staring into complete darkness
I must have been looking in the dark to long
Before I knew it I couldn’t see anything
Not even the pathway in front of me
As I slowly came to, this piercing in my ear was crippling
There’s this slow liquid dripping down my cheek
It’s…it’s…red
My hands trembling from the sight of all this blood
My eyes are throbbing
That damn flickering light would be better torn off the wall
I’d rather be in the dark
Than to see myself fall apart
Now I bet you’re wondering if I make it out alive
I couldn’t be writing this if I was dead now could I?
Well, the truth is, I don’t know if I’m going to live or die
I’m still here
I’m still here
Still in this room
A room that once served a man’s study
I’m still in this hellhole.
With the leg less desk in the far left corner of the room
The desk where I found this scrap paper
Because if I die I want someone to know my story
The ringing in my ears get louder with my anger
And my shirt changes from white to red with every drop of blood
But my body gets stronger with every minute they leave me in here
Next to the desk is a door
The locked door I must have wasted hours trying to pry open
Why are they taunting me?
If they want to kill me, why don’t they just kill me?
Why must I sit and wait for the inevitable to come?
Well that’s their mistake
If I’m stuck here then I’m going down swinging
I look around; try to find some sort of defense
But there’s nothing
Nothing but that legless desk and the flickering light that pounds all sides of my head
The room is spinning
It’s hard to keep my eyes open.
Legs collapse from underneath me as I try to stand
Every creak from outside the door makes my heart skip a beat
For I fear it will be the last thing I ever hear
The surge of energy I received from waiting
Is turning into a draining,
A draining of energy
I’m losing way too much blood.
I tear my shirt right off my back
And try my best to wrap it around my head to slow the bleeding
That gives me time.
Time, that’s what I need.
But the pain from the pressure is almost unbearable
It’s a constant stinging
A feeling as if someone’s digging their nails into my temple
Using any energy I have left, I get up and to push the desk in front of the door.
To stall them, or him, or whoever they are!
They must be coming soon; I’ve been here so long.
My body works hard for every quick breath
I keep a constant beat against the wall with my head
The clicking of a key inside a lock leaves me frozen
The first crash between the door and the desk thaws out my body.
There’s nowhere to go.
I crawl under the desk and wait for him to enter.
Every attempt to get in makes my body twitch
And causes my eyes to water, then cry
Finally the desk is moved a side and the man enters the room with a snicker
Now, my back against the door, the man’s leather shoes appear in front of me
The man with gun at his side seems confused
My fear turns into anger
And my shaking hands turn into clenched fists.
I rip the shirt off from around my head
And slowly tie it around the man’s ankles
His first step leaves him lying on the ground
The gun tumbling into the corner is the sound of freedom
I get out from under the desk and stare into the eyes of my “killer”
His widening eyes show fear I once had
I let him soak it in the way I had to.
Gripping the desk, I push it over on top of him with all my might
My ticket to freedom
With my first step I collapse
This sudden numbness in my legs
All my pains are back but ten times worse
My teeth grinding together must have deafened the “killer”
In the corner of my eyes I see the man trying to crawl towards the gun.
I crawl towards the door
Pulling, pulling with every ounce of strength in my arms
My fingers are digging into the carpeting under me
I clench my teeth as the throbbing in my head and the numbness in my legs refuse to subside
On my way out the door I find the key that once locked me inside
With half my body out the door
Two clicks and a bang leave a ringing in my ear but only tears through my leg.
I use the door trim to pull myself up
Uneasy breathes,
One squeezed out tear rolls down onto my lips
Leaning against the door frame I look inside
And I stare down the barrel of a gun
All fear is gone; all will to struggle is over
The killer is almost frozen as I reach for the door and shut it on all my fears
And lock away all this pain.
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