DESCRIPTION
Just another dull poem to uninspire you. For some reason I can't use italics there should be some in this piece, Can you tell where? Answers on a postcard. [73 words]
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
You may have heard the theory that an infinite amount of monkeys, given an infinite amount of time, and an infinite amount of typewriters, and, I suppose, ink; could produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Part of a secret experiment, funded by NASA, I, and eleven of my simian brothers, were launched into space to test the theory. Government budgets cutting numbers of monkey and typewriter from ininity to twelve, the plan was destined to fail. The badly built rocket crashed, I escaped, my furry companions dead. The cocktail of drugs I was force fed giving me the most irresistable urge to write. Now all I can do is sit here, at this computer, and type. I hate humans for what they have done to me and my brothers, and will eventually find a way ro rule the world from my keyboard; subliminal messages are hidden in all I write, slaves..... [October 2005]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (15) A-Z (Poetry) Just thought I'd try writing something with words from A to Z in alphabetical order. Not really sur what catagory it should go in, but have a go yourself and post here!! [26 words] Change And Continuity (Poetry) Just a short poem to test what kind of response rate to expect if i post some of my other work (mostly fiction, some more poems). Please review. [49 words] [Spiritual] Hottie Pursuit (Short Stories) Was walking through town yesterday and got the idea for this...... [734 words] Lowest Low. (Poetry) Just read it, it'll only take a minute. If you're bigger than your ego, you may even 'empathise'. [94 words] No Title As Yet (Poetry) Another short piece, just tell me what you think, if you take the time to read it, please also take the time to review it, even if it is only one word I want to hear it, and FFS use the message board!... [272 words] Ode To Mr. T (Poetry) Just a quick poem for fun. [62 words] Portrait Of The Preperation Of Twenty First Century Cuisine Episode 6: Microwavable Lasagne (Poetry) This piece reflects my life-long interest in, and study of kitchen appliances. Since an early age, I have tried to understand what goes on in the minds of such things, and have managed to establish a ... [16 words] Who Knows What? (Short Stories) This is an updated version, take a look, give a comment in return, that's all I ask. [966 words] Since You've Gone (Poetry) Curious got me all curious about my own emotions over lost exes, so I dug into them a little.... [49 words] [Relationships] Study Of The Time Taken And Feelings Evoked Whilst Standing In A Queue To Buy The Paper This Morning. (Poetry) Since standing in a queue my life will never be the same. I merely wished to make a purchase, and was forced to stand, without food or watermelon, for just over eight minutes. Now even mater says I am... [13 words] Telephone Conversation (Poetry) Noting much. [272 words] The Four Seasons (Poetry) Just another poem. [96 words] The Frustrated Author (Poetry) See title. [136 words] The Time Machine (Poetry) Wishful thinking. [27 words] The Trouble With Immortality (Short Stories) I know this will make some of you laugh. A tongue in cheek peek into another world.... [591 words]
She's Got Beef. Iain Spittles
No dog-house for you,
YOU BASTARD!
what do you mean you never knew?
YOU UTTER BASTARD!
I had this planned.
SHUT UP!
What do you mean you don't understand.?
Never mind logic.
OF COURSE I'M BEING COLD!
You're not listening to me.
Why can't they just do what they're told?
I'm NOT being silly!
I just don't think it was right.
Don't touch me!
Why does he have to fight?
He's not gonna get it for weeks.
Dearest reader, please be warned:-
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
READER'S REVIEWS (5) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"When I read this, I was shocked, how could anything be so bad? When I saw that I had written it I ran out into the road hoping to end it all then, but it was 4am, the roads were dead. Finally in a fit of utter self-hatred, I jumped from the roof of my house. I now have a broken ankle, and I hate myself even more for lacking the competence to do myself in. Will someone come round and put a bullet in my head before I pollute this site further with the festering shit i write, please?" -- Iain Spittles.
"Oh, God... will you wake up? Killing yourself won't change a thing. Sure, you'll be dead, but hell, people die everyday. Do you want everyone to go, "Oh, another person couldn't deal with it. What is it with them, anyway?" You write fine. Writing doesn't have to be about pretty epethets or any of that shit... as long as it's pure emotion, that the author is feeling, it will never be bull shit. But remember, unharnessed emotions will forever run outside your control. Keep writing. You're too hard on yourself." -- Bb2B3.
"This is why every poet could do with a side-project band: all the stuff that says a little something, captured a few moments of your time but in the final analysis is crap, can be used with music. The voice then adds the emotion that the poem on paper doesn't convey." -- Carl Ubershue.
"You had the right idea in the first place. You should try it at 4pm, not am." -- Richard, OH.
"The first review was a joke people. Thanks Richard : )" -- Iain Spittles.
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