I have never been good at dating.  I am not the kind of guy that you just date for 
awhile, have fun with, and then go on your separate ways.  I have never been that guy, 
but rather, I have been pegged as a “nice guy”.  But there is so much more to it than that.  
I am the type of guy who will be your best friend.  I am the type of guy that you look for 
in a supporting shoulder, one who will always be there for you.  

I AM SO SICK OF BEING THAT GUY.  

There aren’t enough cuss words in the English language to convey my sincerity of 
that emotion.  It makes me want to vomit in rage.  I hate being pegged as that guy.  ‘Oh, 
he’s a great friend, but I could never date him.  He’s the kind of guy that would be perfect 
for a woman.  He’s such a nice guy.’

I f---ing hate that.  I hate it down to the very marrow of my being.  My soul reeks 
of hatred for that statement.  Do you know how many times I have heard it?  I believe in 
the old adage, that nice guys do finish last.  And it feels as though that statement has been 
proven true time and time again.

There is, for me, no way to break who I am though.  I am the proverbial best 
friend, the lap dog of most of the women in my life.  I am steadfast, loyal, hardworking, 
nice, a perfect gentlemen, a guy you bring home to mother, the man you can tell all of 
your secrets to, trustworthy, a hopeless romantic, someone you can sit down with and 
watch that sappy movie and cry, a man who will make a great husband someday, the 
person you can always go to in a problem, someone you can trust with your life, someone 
who will always make you laugh, someone who will make you cry in that good way, 
someone who knows when you need a hug, the guy you can call when you have nothing 
else to do, the man who will give you honest advice about what you look like in that 
dress, the guy who will never lie to you, the guy who knows how to show his emotions, 
the man who will cook you a romantic meal just because he can, the man you introduce 
to your friends as your “best friend in the world”, the man who will write you a silly little 
poem to make you smile, the man who will laugh at your jokes and the guy who doesn’t 
mind when you don’t laugh at his, the guy who will give you that foot massage knowing 
full well that it won’t lead to anything, a person to just sit around and be board with, 
someone you can compare your boyfriends to, someone you can complain to about the 
boyfriends when they are assholes, the guy who will do that silly dance in public just to 
embarrass you, the man you share countless inside jokes about, the guy you laugh to 
when others don’t understand them, the man who will not make real fun of your 
obsession with your favorite band, the man who confides in you that he likes them too, 
the guy who isn’t afraid to let you paint his toenails, the guy who will then wear sandals 
to make you laugh, the man who knows your favorite color, the guy who knows what to 
do when your mom makes you angry, the person who you feel superb comfort just falling 
asleep in his arms, the man you turn to when work has put you down, the guy you 
celebrate with when something goes right, the man you cry with when something goes 
wrong, the man you ask advice for what to get your boyfriend for Christmas, the man 
who knows how to get you the perfect gift without having to spend a lot of money, the 
guy who gives for no reason at all, the guy who will laugh at you when you deserve it, 
the man who will hold you when its needed too, the guy you will let touch your legs even 
when you haven’t shaved, the man who makes you cry just by remembering the good 
times in your life, the man who doesn’t look for immediate commitment but the person 
that no one even wants to start something with, the man who reminds you of your 
favorite relative, the man with whom one night something does happen and you utter “I 
regret this ever happening,” the guy you make lasagna for just because you can, the man 
you compare all of your boyfriends (past, present and future) to, the guy you go to 
concerts with because he has no one else to take, the man you call up at 1:00 a.m. crying 
to over something bad that happened, the guy who is too young or too old or too funny or 
too serious about commitment or just is not that attractive, the man who knows when 
your upset, the man who knows how to make it feel better, the person that when you’re 
out together, people ask “How long have you been seeing each other,” the person who 
will drive all the way to your house just because you asked, the man who doesn’t 
complain when he is having the worst day of his life and you can’t make it over because 
you have plans with your boyfriend, the guy who sits at home and wonders why it can’t 
be more, the man who knows your one ticklish spot, the guy you take shopping because 
you know he’ll make you buy something nice (or buy it for you when you won’t), the 
person that no matter what you talk about you have something in common, the man you 
can openly state that you don’t like something, the guy who feels better making you feel 
better, the man you turn to when life is tough and drift away from when you have 
someone else, the guy who will always be there for you in either situation, the man who 
you wear your hair in that special way just for him, the person who knows all your sexual 
secrets, the guy who will get you scared just so he can hold your hand, the man who has 
met all of your relatives and they absolute adore him, the man who carries your picture in 
his wallet, the man you can mock when his pants are too short, his shirt too old or his 
clothes just out of fashion, the man who knows that just having someone there can be one 
of the greatest feelings ever, the guy who will take care of you when you’re sick, the guy 
who has to fight the illness alone when you are out of town with friends, the man who 
you point out women for but he just compares them to you, the guy who will never yell at 
you when you’ve done something wrong but knows what to say to make sure you feel 
guilty, the guy who is there even after you’ve done it again, the man who accepts being 
your friend because he can’t imagine being without you, the man who’s catch phrase is 
“Some day she’ll see,” the guy you can share all your geeky traits with, the guy who 
shares them with you, a person who knows your favorite flower, your favorite movie and
 how the two can intermingle, the guy who feels wretched if he has said just one line that 
has made you feel bad, the man who will apologize up and down for it and most 
importantly, I am the man you will trust with your life but never with your heart.  


I am not asking for some type of ultimate commitment or a specific, spoken bond, 
for the bond that we have is already much deeper than that.  I am asking for a chance.  I 
am not asking for the end, but rather, a beginning.  I may seem too good to be true, but, 
ironically, I am just that real.  And I am here waiting for you. 

So the next time you sit with your best friend and the thought crosses your mind:  
“Hey, he (and I’ve been rather sexist in this article, so we’ll include ‘she’) is just the 
perfect person.  I wish that I could find someone just like them.”  Remember, you have 
found someone just like them.