The Return To Narnia (Short Story Concept) by Nathaniel A Miller A concept story that sequeled loosely the last book of the Narnia Ch... [8,436 words]
The Hawk by Cari Graham We find our strength and healing powers in the strangest of places. [489 words]
She (The Short Story) by Jamie Goetz She is the short story of a girl who sees the apparition of a familiar female figure. She... [2,961 words]
The Clergyman And The Brothel by James Buchannon This is a scene from a book I'm thinking about writing. It's set in the future an... [2,684 words]
Warm Goo by Gregory Allen Oddly enough, this story has generated interest with a publisher (subject to some rewrite) [3,277 words]
The Convict by Gregory Allen In the mind of a serial killer. [723 words]
The Bookcase In The Basement by Francois Fouche A mystery tale developed around the phenomenon of books changing locations in a ca... [5,118 words]
The Sunrise For Lady May by Gregory De Feo - [1 words]
The Virgin Of Chelsea by Francois Fouche The Virgin of Chelsea is the story of Eoin Farrelly, a London oil painter obsessed with t... [2,527 words]
The Slow Man by Gregory Allen Story of unstable retarded man. [1,267 words]
Wicked They Come by Susan Brassfield Cogan What is making that darned noise? [2,930 words]
Why Did You Not Stop Me? by Animesh Kar He thought he knoew about all of them! but he was wrong till that morning ... which wa... [3,028 words]
What Is Love Anyway! by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: Feggy and Phil became good friends through Internet chat. Feggy wanted... [1,975 words]
The Legend Of Yin by Michelle Jones A story of an assassin in ancient China, out for revenge on his father's murderer. [2,940 words]
The Lake (The V. D. P. Levon Version) by V D P Levon Except for exact words, the inclusion of a cell phone and an idea, and th... [757 words]
The First Night by Alvin Gladstone The couple have just got married and the night has began, as they get ready to sleep - the adve... [4,709 words]
The First Alex by Gregory Allen Does anybody review any stories? [3,985 words]
The Color Of Life by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: An actress was kidnapped. She managed to escape into the forest area. She ... [2,073 words]
The Chinese Run Away Bride by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: The wedding celebration started in a village in China. The commun... [1,351 words]
The Absent by Martin De Leon Taking place in a hallway, a young mexican math teacher and his wife--she a maker a videos that she ... [4,500 words]
Star Shining Masterpiece. by Bradley Grimes A man exposes his masterpiece, to an overly critical girlfriend. [3,953 words]
Shooting Birds by M B Barlow A SF story set in the world of Deus. [6,092 words]
Out Of Sync by Gregory Allen Maybe it was just a dream. [722 words]
Nothing But The Truth by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: Willy was on his way to Las Vegas and met with an accident. Willy slo... [2,071 words]
Middle Aged Misadventure by Ryan Michaels A humorous and true story about a 50 something year old and his quest for a kinship wi... [6,156 words]
Man In The Bank by Alvin Gladstone An anxious man in a bank, something is worrying him. [824 words]
Lost In New York by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: The beach cop finds a lost girl. She is mute. Beach cop took her to Dr. Sar... [1,574 words]
Letter To Dad by Cari Graham This is moving letter written to a father that has passed in hopes of bringing closure to the gri... [403 words]
If All Things Are Possible,” Why Can't I Balance My Checkbook? by James Snyder For me, the most terrible time of each month is ... [904 words]
How It Must Feel To Die Alone by Aryka - [484 words]
Girl Downstairs by Alice W-M A girl meets another girl who steals the love of her life. [707 words]
Fenrir Part 1 by George L Shultz Big man meets small girl and kills many bad-guys. [3,310 words]
Engagement Of Love by Bancy Mwihaki A short story about relationships - family, love, friendship - all involving one young woman... [2,755 words]
Enemy Inside by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: The US National Security Adviser Raymond’s Chinese wife Joe had secretly hired ... [3,877 words]
Do You Think I Was Wrong? by Animesh Kar When the thin line between reality and dreams get crossed!!!! [2,991 words]
Dead Or Alive by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: Draco is a hunter and a very big man. He went out into the forest for hunting.... [1,809 words]
Alternative Justice by Shmuel Yacobi Gist of the story: Two young fellows raped a girl and accidentally killed her. The police f... [1,821 words]
After Death by Animesh Kar How he wished to come with him. But they said destiny is much more powerful than one can imagine! [2,052 words]
A Special Day by Cari Graham Remember how it used to feel when you waited for that special someone to arrive. [376 words]
A Cup Of Joe Says A Lot About Us by James Snyder This week I came face-to-face with a genuine dilemma. I had several meetings a... [902 words]
This Story Will Never End by Elide Bors This is a story of love... It proves that even when the body is old, the spirit can l... [7,467 words]
The Weight Of The Past by Diana Blizzard A young biracial girl explores her past in an attempt to connect with her African Americ... [2,945 words]
The Nephilim by Clint Stutts A man reflects on the demise of the small town he lived in. Where did the giants come from? Can ... [2,369 words]
The Movie Store by Daniel Hurley When I wrote this story I wanted to make it as real as possible. I wanted to capture the every... [3,003 words]
The Lopsided Penguin by Lori Lorien A research scientist in Antartica takes a penguin on board. [1,491 words]
The Escape
The Dream by Daniel Brown A short story with a surprise ending. [1,163 words]
Soap Machine by Alexander Petrov - [2,187 words]
Shadow's Adventure 2 by Maritza Vargas This is just basicly part 2 of the story!! Shadow is having no luck in finding Menchi. Oh ... [668 words]
Pay Dirt by Armand Waksberg To be different is not necessarily bad! [1,811 words]
One Friday Night by Kenneth MacLellan - [3,112 words]
Neuro by Martin De Leon A piece of microfiction that was a top ten finalist in the Austin Chronicle's 2004 Short Story Contest. I... [1 words]
Jai by Casey Lauber Jai is an average guy or so he thinks... [1,549 words]
I-10 Crash by Brittany Tellez On August 13,2004 my brother, me and my mom were driving home and their was a dust storm, and we wer... [800 words]
Hunger Pains by Riot "She was fat..." [495 words]
Her Last Breath by Ryne Hughes This is a story of me witnessing my own mother as she takes her last breath. Title pretty much ... [895 words]
Gardens by Alexander Petrov - [1,296 words]
Final Climb by Constant Ngozi It's all about a climb that was supposed to be the final. [1,894 words]
Falling Free by Sarah-Ashleigh Jones-West When a man numb with life, hopelessly in unrequited love discovers a woman also caught in the mund... [2,157 words]
Estrella's Walk by Skeeze Whitlow Sensual description of Central American Witch's walk to the sea. [629 words]
Drugged On Vengeance by Jack M Brown A son, father and uncle, poisoned by sweet stories of victory, courage and honour, decide ... [1,408 words]
Doctor Trek - Meeting The Grade by Ian Kidd Captain Who and his companions try to stop a band of crazed, time-travelling "D... [8,936 words]
Cheeku And His Jungle Friends. by Srija Bhattacharjee The story is about a intelligent rabbit who trys to solves problems and troubles... [142 words]
Capp Gun by Bryan King A story about a capp gun. [1,089 words]
Capp Gun (Extended And Edited) by Bryan King A story about a capp gun. [1,489 words]
Brothers Of War by Brett M Holden A Union Sergeant marches to war with a regiment of veterans and new recruits. He has no left a... [4,005 words]
A Story Of Warriors Rev1 by Albert Davis This is a revised edition of a short story I submitted several years ago. [3,373 words]
6 Billion Chances To Kill by Bryan King An inspector is comming to the grill. I wonder what he might find. [511 words]
6 And 1 Half Minutes by Bryan King Sheriff Lanson is a crazy man. [1,034 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 [22] 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
The Escape |
DESCRIPTION
A short tale of a prisoner's escape from jail.
[964 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Drama |
AUTHOR
Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Well, I'm a 12 yr old but I really love writing. Pls comment my writing as I'm learning.
[May 2004] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (4)
At Death's Door (Short Stories) - [441 words] [Drama]
Face-Off (Short Stories) A Counter-terrorist unit agent on the chase after a terrorist...except that he gets the shock of his life. [2,002 words] [Suspense]
Strangers In The Mist (Short Stories) A thrilling piece. Hope somebody could review it. [1,667 words] [Thriller]
The Present (Children) A girl adventure in buying her mom present. [678 words]
|
The Escape
Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar
Orestes Ruiz stared out into the night. Nearly two months had passed. Two months of doing nothing except being locked up in jail. He wondered if his family still remembered him. Maybe they had disowned him. Orestes turned back and made his way to his bed. Even if his family ostracized him, he did not care. He had never love them, anyway.
“Hey Ruiz,” a gruff voice interrupted his train of thoughts, “you’re looking so despondent lately. I have a deal that’s sure to cheer you up.”
Orestes looked up to see a man standing by his bed. In the wan light of a cloud-shrouded moon, he could make out his bearlike figure. He knew who it was; Mikael Britva, his fellow inmate.
“What deal?” Orestes demanded. “I’ll be staying here until I die.”
The man chuckled derisively as he sat down beside his inmate. Orestes seemed disturbed by his preserve, but he did not utter a single word of protest. Instead, Orestes merely edged away from him.
“I’m running away from this hell tonight,” Britva started, “I have friends out there who have carefully planned my escape. If you want, I’ll help you get out of this place too. On one condition, of course. You have to work with the Mob.”
Orestes was silent as he turned Britva’s offer over in his mind. He knew that the choice was his to make. Escaping from a high security prison sounded ridiculous, almost illogical. On the other hand, he would be mentally deranged if he was to stay in this cell all his life. At least if he managed to escape, he would be able to work, albeit with the Mob.
“Count me in,” Orestes confirmed, “I’m willing to do anything, as long as I get out of this jail.”
Britva smirked, patting his inmate’s back. Obviously, Orestes was truly gullible. How could he simply believe that the Mob will take him in? Britva thought contemptuously.
Hours ticked by. The time finally arrived. The guards on duty that night were incompetent; they took the metal gates separating them from the prisoners for granted. They believed that no prisoners would be able to escape with the high-tech security systems marking their every move.
Britva leaned back against the cool concrete wall. He eyed the guards craftily. Any time soon, he reminded himself. Any time soon he could declare his freedom. He glanced at Orestes. That inmate of his was a criminal mastermind; by the age of twenty-four he had orchestrated three major bank heists and had hacked into numerous Swiss bank accounts. Britva wondered what had happened to all of Orestes’s billions in his bank account. Probably distributed to various charity organisations.
The lights started to flicker, and the security alarm went off. The guards were immediately alerted by the alarm. At the same time, Britva pulled out a long, tapered wooden stick from under his bed. Then he scrunched up his face to be a mask of excruciating pain. He cried out to the nearest guard. The guard furrowed his brows and hurried towards Britva, trying to contemplate what caused the huge Russian to be in pain.
The alarm flashed red. As if according to Britva’s wish, the whole prison was suddenly enveloped in total darkness. Britva could sense the panic that was rising among the guards. He used the opportunity to hit the guard in the groin using the stick. The blow was too much for the guard. He collapsed to the floor and passed out. However, the other guards were already out of the room, busy strafting themselves with firearms.
Britva could not resist a grin as he retrieved the key from the unconscious guard’s pocket. He had evaded the police so many times. He was not going to fail now. In one swift motion, he slid the key into the keyhole and twisted it.
The gate swung open with a creak. Hearing that, all the prisoners rushed to their respective gates, screaming for the keys. Britva ignored them. He motioned to Orestes to quickly leave the area. As they reached the exit, the shoutings grew louder. Just before they stepped out, Britva tossed the key to the nearest cell. It was up to the other prisoners to decide how to free themselves.
Along the way, Britva and Orestes ran into two guards. However, they calmly overtook their opponents and donned the guards’ uniforms. They equipped themselves with some brutish AK-47. This made their escape route easier. They passed by other guards unnoticed. No one even realised that the duo had slipped out of the compound through a small gap in the fence.
They met up with Britva’s colleagues. As he was being introduced to them, orestes found it hard to believe that he had escaped from jail. His mind could not fathom why the security systems went haywire.
“This is Connor,” Britva ushered to a young man with alabaster skin, “He was the one who hacked into the security systems and controlled it. We’ve got him to thank.”
Britva’s two other colleagues were not that impressive. Both the African-American and latino were involved in typical street activities, namely drug trafficking and gangbanging.
“So, Britva told me that I have to repay him the favour,” Orestes told the men, “I have to work with you guys. Do you happen to agree with him?”
The mwn looked at each other before focusing on Britva, who was standing behind Orestes. Britva held their gaze and nodded.
“Sorry, Orestes,” Connor spoke up, breaking the silence, “in the Mob, criminal masterminds like you repay the favours by one way. That is, their life.”
Minutes later, Britva and his colleagues left the spot. Orestes laid on the soft earth, riddled with bullets in a pool of blood.
|
READER'S REVIEWS (1)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"It's a cool story. Advice would be to stay away from superfluous adverbs, and write as though there is another person in your head--a Devil's Advocate--constantly nagging you with challenges against plot, description, thoughts, etc. You display obvious talent, but a shiny polish of grammar would serve well. If you are truly an adolescent, I suggest putting this story away for a few years, while writing constantly in the meantime, then picking it up again and rereading it. I wager you'll enjoy reflecting upon your beginnings as a great writer." -- J.Rychwa.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION) |
|
Submit Your Review for The Escape
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for The Escape
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2005 Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
July 2005 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2435
|
|
