ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-) [January 2003]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84) A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery] A Twist In The Tail (Short Stories) - [963 words] Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy] Agony 2 (Short Stories) Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive). [1,077 words] [Comedy] Angel Stew (Short Stories) The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words] [Comedy] Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words] Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama] Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama] Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama] Barriers (Short Stories) Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words] [Thriller] Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror] Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy] Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words] Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words] Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama] Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama] Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama] Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama] Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama] Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words] Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words] Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama] Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama] Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama] Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy] Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama] Furtive Glances (Short Stories) Always the last to know! [891 words] [Drama] Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words] Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama] Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy] I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind] Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic] Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words] Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama] Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama] Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama] Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure] Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama] Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words] Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama] Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama] Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama] Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama] Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama] Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama] My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal] Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words] One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama] Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama] Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action] Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama] Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words] Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic] Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama] Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words] Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words] Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama] So This Is My Life Then (Short Stories) - [517 words] [Comedy] Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama] Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words] Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama] Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama] The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama] The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama] The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama] The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words] The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama] The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words] The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama] The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words] The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words] The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama] The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama] The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words] The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror] The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama] Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama] Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama] Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama] Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words] Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama] White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words] Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words] You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
The Spark Sue (Sooz) Simpson
Hello.
How are you?
Oh I’m sorry, you don’t recognise me, we have met you know? Several times in fact.
Though admittedly your attention was dramatically focused in another direction at the time.
Blue eyes, taut body, nice bum! You wouldn’t have noticed me. They never do.
I’m The Spark. That is to say not just any old spark, I am THE Spark. You know “The
Spark that makes the fire grow”, the Spark that ignites the fires of passion, the Spark that
explodes between two people to draw their eyes across the room, to settle upon each
other and then “POW”.
All that exploding all over the place is very tough on the old back you know, my arthritis
really gives me gyp.
Well I have a confession. Oh boy do I have a confession.
I hate my job, it’s so boring. They meet, I explode, they fall in Love. Yeuk. Then six
month, twelve month, three years later, they get married, live happily ever after, bliss,
bliss, bliss.
IT MAKES ME SICK.
All that lovey-dovey, suckey-facey all over the place,
fair puts me off my breakfast of a morning. Okay, okay I admit in the beginning it gave me a
buzz. I was personally responsible for the sexual revolution of the sixties you know? But
come on, a self respecting Spark, can only take so much mush.
Job dissatisfaction, leads a Spark to do silly things you know, and to be honest I have
little defence, other than to say, hell, it was a ball!
The way it works is this; every morning I clock on, and then go up to the office to get
the work lists for the day. The yellow sheet contains all the females, and the purple sheet
contains all the males. I’m supposed to match one with one, two with two, etcetera
etceteras. If there are any left overs they get carried over to the next day.
Can you imagine doing that day in, day out? Popping off all over the place and making
perfect matches, One hundred percent success, every person meeting their ideal
heterosexual partner every time. No mistakes, aaahhh polony. It’s sickening everybody
living in matrimonial ecstasy until the day they die.
Wouldn’t YOU have done what I did?
What did I do?
Oh Okay I’ll tell you.
Weeeelll I decided to have myself a little lottery. So every morning I’d rip all the names
up and throw them in the hat. Then I’d pick two at random and off I’d Pop to do myself
some exploding. You should see some of the folks I’ve got together.
Then I sit back and watch the soap opera unfold. Some of the break ups have been
spectacular. I do love a good old punch up. I hold my hand up to creating homosexuality,
divorce, and once when I was feeling really wicked I threw in the name of Farmer
Werry’s donkey: Now that was some explosion, Poor Farmer Werry hasn’t been the same
since. As for Mrs Werry, well she was the one who named the donkey Jezebel in the first
place.
So Father that’s why I’m in the confessional, I want to repent.
Oh... and to say sorry about Mrs. Greenwood who’s coming in to do the church flowers. You’ll be meeting her
in three minutes and fifteen seconds ...Sorry
READER'S REVIEWS (2) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"What a wickedly terrific sense of humor - loved this, of course I'm a bit depraved myself but a donkey, yikes. Good job." -- Just A Guy.
"It's good that we finally know who's been attacking you all this time, finally able to put one name to all the multiple names. I realize that we still can't get rid of these useless posts, but it's good to know what ignorant person is behind them. I think it is terrible how the necessary break-up between Brooklyn and that Nic, forced all the other good writers on the board to be dragged into such sickness. I hope we've seen the end of it, but I cannot hold my breath. I'm sorry for all the things that you've been put through by a tormented male ex-lover who just can't get over it." -- Friend of Brooklyn Ashe.
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