An Island Unto Himself, The Novel (14) "Preparing to eat them," she whispered back. "You’re kidding." Stu looked at Tawni. Obviously she was not kidding. "But, where did cannibals come from?" "There is an island far away," Tawni said. "An island full of cannibals?" "Not anymore, our men made war with them many Full Moon Festivals ago, we wiped them out... we thought." "Looks like you missed a few." "Stu Stu." "Yeah." "...It will be dinnertime soon." "...Okay... I’ve got a plan." "Really?" "Well no, not really." Stu stood and took Tawni’s hand. "...But, I hope to have one before the first course is served. Come on." Yobo spoke up for the first time. "Yobo stays here," he said drawing his little knife. "Oh no you don’t," Stu said taking his hand, too. "I need both of you. Besides, you’re the appetizer." "Appetizer?" Yobo and Tawni asked in unison. CHAPTER 33 Just like Yobo had been earlier, Stu, Tawni and Yobo were all out of breath by the time they arrived in the clearing back at the house. There was no time to rest, however. Under Stu’s direction, they sprang into action. Stu grabbed two armloads of the long, dried grass he had been using to fix the thatch roof and ran to the VW bus. Tawni and Yobo followed his lead. Yobo helped Stu wrap the orange van with speaker wire, around and around and around, time after time, after time. As Stu and Yobo wrapped the van in a web of wire, Tawni began stuffing tufts of the long yellow grass under the strands of wire. Stu and Yobo helped her after they had depleted all the wire on the spool. When the three of them had used up all of Stu’s supply of grass they robbed Tawni’s roof for more. They secured tuft after tuft of dried grass until the entire bus was nearly covered in a thick coat of long, yellow hair. While Yobo and Tawni completed the exterior makeover, Stu requisitioned some of Tiffy’s loose stereo speakers and mounted them in the open side windows of the van. They were effectively camouflaged by the grass that covered all the windows except the windshield. Next, he got the metal snips from the toolbox and went to work on the front grill of the bus. He cut and mangled and bent the sheet metal back and forth until he managed to tear a hole in the front of the van. Then he went back inside and got to work under the dash. He tore through from the inside out until he had made a hole all the way through the front of the bus. Day turned to dusk as Tawni and Yobo finished putting the final touches on the bus’s fur coat. Stu ran inside Tawni’s house and quickly returned with one of her wooden, ceremonial masks. It was the enormous one she had hidden behind to spy on Stu when he had first arrived on the island. Tawni and Yobo held the mask in place while Stu fastened it securely to the criss crossing wire on the front of the van. Stu mounted it so that the eyes of the mask were directly over the windshield and the mouth was directly over the hole that he had torn into the sheet metal. When the mask was firmly in place, they surrounded it with a flowing mane of the long, yellow grass. Stu hung Tiffy’s black light near the ceiling of the bus, right behind the windshield. Next he got Tiffy’s stash of fireworks; bottle rockets, firecrackers, smoke bombs and sparklers. Stu showed Tawni and Yobo how to situate them on the outside of the bus, located so that they would be able to light them through the side windows. Stu held one of the sparklers in his hand and lit it with Trusty Zippo. He showed Yobo how the sparkler could be used to light the other fireworks. Both Tawni and Yobo were astonished by the sparkling stick, maybe terrified would be a better word. So, Tawni was especially proud of her young son when he overcame his fear and took the sizzling stick from Stu and tried his hand at lighting one of the firecrackers that Stu had placed on the ground. POW! The firecracker disintegrated into shredded paper before his eyes. Yobo and Tawni both screamed and jumped back involuntarily. But, then something strange happened. Yobo laughed out loud. For the first time since Stu had known him, Yobo laughed out loud. "Again!" Yobo said, grabbing another firecracker. "Whoa, little fella. Save your ammo for the cannibals," Stu said. "Besides, if you liked that, you’re gonna love this." Stu held up a can of hairspray from Tiffy’s collection of makeup. He handed it to Tawni and directed her to point it away from them. "Press that little white button on the top," he said. Tawni did as instructed. Stu struck Trusty Zippo once more and ignited the flammable stream of spray. Dusk was well under way by now and the homemade flame thrower made an impressive display as it lit up the entire clearing. "Whoa!" Yobo gasped, imitating a phrase he had picked up from Stu. Stu was impressed. Maybe Yobo hadn’t been ignoring him as completely as he thought. "Now get a load of this!" Stu said as he took the hairspray and ducked into the bus. Tawni and Yobo watched in wonder as a blast of fire spewed forth from the mouth of the big wooden mask. "Whoa!" Yobo repeated. Stu stuck his head back out of the driver’s door and gave the order to, "Mount up!" Lastly, as Tawni and Yobo boarded, Stu rifled through Tiffy’s collection of cassettes until he found just the right one, Jethro Tull’s Bungle in the Jungle. He slid it halfway into the mouth of the tape player so that it would be ready when he needed it. "Let’s rock and roll!" Stu yelled at the top of his lungs. He cranked up the bus, turned on the headlights and started off with a lurch. Dusk gave way to pitch dark as Stu maneuvered the bus turned hairy monster through the maze of narrow jungle paths back toward the hills. CHAPTER 34 Tootawni and Little Ton were relieved to see a familiar face. They could barely make out Yobo’s shadowy silhouette in the dark as he motioned to them from the mouth of the trail that emptied from the hillside woods onto the creek bank. He waved to them with his right hand while his left hand rested on his reliable little knife strapped to his hip. The sling shot that Stu had made for him was also holstered at his side, tucked into his waistband. Slowly, Yobo shifted his left hand from the knife his father had made for him to the sling shot that Stu had made for him. When her captors weren’t looking Tootawni started to mouth the word help. Then she thought better of it and mouthed the word run instead. After all, what could little Yobo do against bloodthirsty cannibals... hungry ones! Whatever he was going to do, he’d better do it quickly. The cannibals had finished piling up the fuel for their barbecue. Clumsy was busy rubbing two sticks together, trying to light the dry kindling. He rubbed furiously but didn’t seem to be making much progress. Normal grunted encouragement. While his two subjects labored, the chief was taking a siesta. He had fallen asleep still wearing Tiffy’s sunglasses and with her floppy hat pulled down over his face. Lurking at the mouth of the trail, Yobo selected just the right rock, loaded it into his sling shot and took careful aim. He fired his round, stone missile but, it missed it’s mark and landed in the creek with a kirsplish. Normal and Clumsy looked up but passed it off as a jumping fish. They went back to work trying to light the pile of sticks and branches. Yobo loaded up and fired another round. The second rock whizzed just over his targets’ heads and stuck in the muddy creek bank. This got the cannibals’ attention. Clumsy picked it out of the mud and examined it. He turned to see where it had come from just as Yobo let go with his third round. This one found it’s mark, hitting Clumsy right in his good eye. "Owee!" Clumsy shrieked. He pranced around on his good leg, holding his good eye, "Owee! Owee!" Now, temporarily blinded in his good eye as well as his bad, Clumsy was true to his reputation. He pranced and stomped in pain until he stepped into the pile of wood and a knotty branch popped up and cracked him in the shin. "Owee!" he repeated. Tootawni and Little Ton shouted cheers of adulation for Yobo’s sharpshooting. Normal ran to awaken his chief. "Chieftain, awaken," he implored, "us under attack!" The snoozing chief bolted upright, the floppy hat still covering his face. "Aaah!" he yelled. "What wrong, Chief?" Normal screamed. "Chief go blind!" His Highness wailed. Normal rolled his eyes and removed the hat from over his leader’s face. "Better?" he asked. "Aaah!" the chief yelled again. "Now what?" asked Normal anxiously. "Chief still blind!" his master insisted. Normal removed Tiffy’s dark glasses from his fearless leader’s face. "Better now?" he asked. "Much... Now, what up?" asked the chief. "Us under rock attack!" Normal exclaimed. He pointed at Clumsy. "Look, him catch one in eye!" "Not good eye?" the chief queried. "Mmm, good eye," Normal confirmed. There was a beat of reflectful silence, then the chief and Normal doubled over in knee slapping laughter. "Not funny!" Clumsy demanded as a fourth rock sang forth from Yobo’s mighty sling. This one stung the chief in the back of the head bringing a brusque end to his hilarity. "Owee!" the chief yelped. Tootawni and Little Ton were terrified for Yobo when he left the safety of his hiding place and ran out into plain view. He stood at the mouth of the trail and yelled at the keystone cannibals, "Hey, you leave my family alone! If you are hungry, try and catch me!" The chief’s face grew red with rage as he furiously rubbed the back of his head. "Get him! Bring him to me!" he bellowed. "Run Nephew!" Tootawni shouted and that’s exactly what Yobo did. The chief stayed with the prisoners while Normal and Clumsy took off after the insolent, rock slinger. Yobo led them on a merry chase down the dark, winding trail. When he got too far ahead he would slow down a little to let his slower pursuers close the gap. Meanwhile, Stu and Tawni waited. They sat ready in the dark, disguised VW bus about two hundred yards up the trail, the motor idling. "I feel like a kid at Halloween with the best costume ever," Stu whispered. "Halloween?" Tawni asked. But, Stu didn’t get to explain as Yobo came sprinting into view around a curve in the path. He was running for his life and yelling behind him, "Come and get me, ugly ones!" He slowed down to let the cannibals catch up but, they didn’t appear. Yobo stopped and waited. "Come and get me he!" he yelled again. Nothing. Yobo hunched his shoulders and threw up his arms in disgust, letting them fall back to his sides. "Oh brother", he said and headed back to retrieve his pursuers. "What is he doing?" Stu said. Tawni yelled to him, "Yobo, wait!" It was too late, Yobo disappeared back around the bend. Stu and Tawni sat in stunned anticipation, uncertain of what they should do. Stu was sure he could hear his heart beating. About three beats; thump, thump, thump... and Yobo came running back around the bend at full throttle. Another heartbeat and the two cannibals also came into view. Yobo was about halfway to Stu and Tawni in their idling monster when he looked back to make sure the cannibals were still with him and tripped on a tree root! Tawni gasped as the frightful looking duo overtook her young son. "Oh, no," Stu said. Normal stood over the fallen boy and pressed the point of his spear to Yobo’s heaving chest. He addressed Yobo sarcastically, "Mmm, glad you drop by for dinner". "Now who ugly one?!" Clumsy said proudly, also holding his spear tip to Yobo’s chest. "Do something!" Tawni pleaded of Stu in a horrified whisper. Stu had cued up the Jethro Tull tape to the lion’s roar on Bungle in the Jungle and had turned the volume control on the tape deck all the way up. He popped the tape into the stereo and the roar reverberated over the window mounted speakers. Normal and Clumsy shook in their boots... at least they would have if they had boots. "Mmm, wh-what th-that?" Clumsy stammered. "Mmm, n-no can s-see," Normal answered, his voice quivering. Stu manipulated the re-wind and play buttons on the tape player to repeat the roaring sound effect. Then he flipped on the amber parking lights. The yellow/orange beacons glowed through the carved mouth of the big, wooden mask. Stu flipped on the black light inside the van and the ominous eyes of the mask glowed purple. Tawni lit a smoke bomb and placed it into the hole that Stu had cut into the front of the bus. Smoke billowed from the monster’s glowing, yellow mouth and rose up through the purple light illuminating from its radiating eyes. Finally, Tawni aimed a jetstream of hairspray through the mouth of the mask and lit it. The hairy, firebreathing monster came to life before the cannibals’ eyes! "Uh, oh," Clumsy said. "Ugh," Normal agreed. Stu was a little more eloquent, "Trick or treat, butt munchers!" he hollered as he popped the clutch and stomped on the gas. The hairy monster roared forward in the dark and the cannibals quickly abandoned the downed Yobo. They beat a hasty retreat back down the path as the monster bore down on them huffing smoke and breathing fire! Stu pulled up next to Yobo. Tawni opened her door and he jumped in. Tawni hugged him tight against her, nearly cutting off his air. "Yobo!" was all she could say. "You okay kid?" Stu asked. "I can’t breath," Yobo wheezed, pulling free from his mother’s death grip. They all laughed in relief and then turned their attention back to the matter at hand, freeing Tootawni and Tawnawki. Back at the cannibal encampment, the chief was taunting his guests. "Mmm, look like us soon have one more for dinner. Mmm, may need bigger fire!" he laughed. Normal and Clumsy tore back into the camp yelling and screaming. "Aah, monster!" Normal shouted. "Terrible monster! Run!" Clumsy shouted. The chief was confused, "Where boy?" "Evil spirit eat him before us could!" Clumsy announced just before he and Normal bowled the chief over. Flat on his back, the chief was just propping himself up on his elbows and clearing the cobwebs from his head when the much touted monster appeared at the mouth of the trail. Rattling and creaking, it belched more smoke and spewed more fire, eyes and mouth aglow. Bungle in the Jungle blared from the speakers and echoed off the hills. The chief’s eyes grew wide. "Oh sh.. You guys wait for chief!" he yelled to his subjects as he scrambled to his feet. Yobo used the bus’s cigarette lighter to ignite the fireworks. That is, he did until the cantankerous lighter got stuck again. The long haired monster sparkled, sizzled, smoked and exploded as it chased the three people eaters around the camp. Stu, Tawni and Yobo circled the astonished Tootawni and Little Ton in their souped up ride. Reverberating rock and roll, eyes glowing and spitting fire they chased their adversaries round and round. "Aah! Evil spirit! Monster!" the aboriginals hollered. Suddenly, the whole mood of the scenario changed as the long, dry grass that covered the charging bus ignited from one of the sparklers. The blaze quickly spread across the bus like wild fire! Smoke and licking flames obscured Stu’s view through the eyes of the wooden mask. It began to get uncomfortably warm inside the bus. "Stu Stu, we are on fire!" Tawni shrieked. "I know we’re on fire!" Stu yelled back. "I can see we’re on fire! Actually, that’s all I can see!" By now, Stu’s view was entirely blocked by the flames and billowing, black smoke. He was driving blind. The bus ran into the creek with a splash, throwing up a plume of water that dowsed the fire. The music ground to a halt and the engine stalled. The van came to a smoldering rest with the front wheels in the creek and the rear wheels on the bank. Stu, Tawni and Yobo sat in silence under the glow of the black light. Suddenly, the rear hatch swung open and Clumsy stuck his head inside, spear in hand. "Mmm!" he grunted and the stuck cigarette lighter popped out like a gunshot, rocketed the length of the bus and hit him square in the forehead! "Ugh," Clumsy groaned and fell stiff as a board, flat on his back at the feet of Normal and the chief. They looked down at him, then at each other and burst into laughter again. "Mmm, him crack me up," the chief said. The chief sloshed through the shallow water to Stu’s door and Normal approached Tawni’s door at the same time. They jerked the doors open simultaneously and put their spears to Stu and Tawni’s throats. "Mmm, what we have here?" asked the chief. Stu swallowed hard, "Meals on wheels?" he quipped nervously.
Go to part: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
Copyright © 2000 Tony Mossor |