An Island Unto Himself, The Novel (16) Stu took the long way home. He walked. He would come back for the charred VW later. He didn’t want to chance catching up to Tawni before she got home and had time to cool down or lock herself in her bedroom or whatever other female thing she might come up with. Women! When Stu finally did arrive back at the hut, it was deserted. No Tawni, no Yobo, no Two Ton or Little Ton. Stu called out, "Tawni?" There was no answer. He went inside and called again. Still, no answer. He exited back out to the front steps, "Tawni?... Anybody?" Squawker swooped down from the tree tops and alighted on Stu’s shoulder. "Awk, nobody home," Squawker confirmed. "Hey Squawker, where is everybody?" Stu asked. Before Squawker could say anything, they heard Yobo shouting in the distance.Yobo sounded frantic! Stu ran toward the shouts with Squawker on his shoulder. "Stu Stu! Help!" Yobo was shouting. "Over here! Yobo, what’s wrong," Stu answered. Yobo sprinted into the clearing like a scared deer! He ran to Stu’s open arms and Stu grabbed him. "Yobo, what is it?!" Stu asked. "Pirates, Stu Stu! The pirates have returned! They have Mama, Tootawni and Tawnawki! They want their treasure!" Stu was stunned, what had he done. "Come Stu Stu," Yobo pleaded tugging on Stu’s hand. Stu was mute, his eyes fixed in thought. "Stu Stu?" Yobo said. "The pirates? Oh man, I bet they’re pissed!" "They will kill us all!" Yobo predicted. Stu seemed confused to Yobo, maybe even scared. "You must come with me," Yobo pleaded. But, Stu let go of Yobo’s hand and started backpedaling, slowly, awkwardly. "The pirates... oh, no," Stu said and he turned and ran back in the direction of the hills. "What are you doing?!" Yobo yelled after him. "Come back! You must save Mama!" Stu didn’t answer and Yobo found himself alone in the clearing. He looked back in the direction of the beach, then turned back toward the hills and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Yobo will save Mama!" he yelled after Stu. "I don’t need you!.... I hate you." CHAPTER 38 Yobo surveyed the situation from a safe spot in the trees about a hundred yards away. The pirates’ cabin cruiser was anchored offshore and their inflatable skiff was on the beach. Tawni, Tootawni and Tawnawki all sat on the sand next to the hole where Stu had dug up the pirates’ crate of pot. They were guarded by their captors; the pirate leader, Number Two, Black Beard and three, new arrivals that Yobo didn’t recognize. Tootawni and Tawnawki looked even more fretful than when they were under the cannibals’ keep. Tawni bravely tried to keep up a stalwart face, tho she had never been more scared in her life. The pirate leader’s back was to Yobo as he lambasted his hostages and explained to them in graphic detail the fate that awaited them if his treasure was not returned. Yobo nearly jumped out of his skin when the leader whirled around suddenly. It seemed as if he were staring straight at Yobo with his steely, gray eyes. The leader raised a bullhorn to his mouth and preached to an unseen congregation. "Now here this my amigos!" he thundered in a threatening tone. "You have something of mine and I want it back! Ironically, it seems I have something of yours as well. Maybe we can make a little trade. No hurry, I’m a patient man. I’ve got all the time in the world. However, your friends here... I’m afraid they aren’t as patient as I. It seems they don’t have much time to squander. You might say, their time’s about to run out altogether! You decide." The leader kicked a shovel at Tawni. "Dig!" he hollered. Yobo continued his reconnaissance as the three prisoners took turns digging. They slaved and toiled a long time until the hole was just the right size... to serve as their tomb. The pirate leader grabbed the shovel from Tawnawki who was already standing in the neck deep hole. "We can take it from here," he laughed. Number Two and Black Beard pushed Tawni and Tootawni into the pit. "Walk the plank, maties!" Black Beard jeered. His mirth was short-lived, however as his leader rendered a swift kick to the seat of his pants. "I’ll give the orders around here!" the leader chastised. "Now cover ‘em up to their ears," he commanded. Black Beard and his cohorts wasted no time in doing as they were told. Soon Tawni, Tootawni and Tawnawki were all buried up to their necks in sand. The leader clicked on his bullhorn and addressed the treeline once more. "Okay natives, time to get restless. The tide’s coming in. It’s now or never if you want to save your friends!" Yobo felt to make sure his knife was still strapped at his side. He clutched his sling shot in one hand and as many rocks as he could clench in the other. Forsaking the safety of the trees, he took a deep breath and started jogging across the beach toward his buried kin... and the pirates. He summoned up the best war cry he could muster. "Aaaaaaah!" he screamed. The pirates turned to see what the commotion was. Yobo was impressed at the unexpected looks of startled fear he saw in their faces. "What the hell is that?!" shouted one. "Let’s get outa here!" suggested Black Beard frantically. "Stand your ground!" said the leader. He pulled a long pistol from inside his unbuttoned shirt and drew down in Yobo’s direction! He fired and Yobo heard the bullet whiz overhead. "Surely the pirate was not that poor a shot," Yobo thought. A tremendous ROAR resounded from behind Yobo. He nearly tripped as he looked back over his shoulder to see the real target. The VW bus was screaming across the beach behind him. It jumped a small dune and headed his way kicking up sand! Bungle in the Jungle blared from the speakers! The blackened bus, still fronted by the scorched wooden mask, pulled up next to Yobo and the side door slid open. There stood the cannibal chief smiling a snaggle toothed grin. Normal and Clumsy were also along for the ride. The canvas sunroof was rolled back and their spear tips protruded up through the opening. All three of the cannibals had applied generous amounts of Tiffy’s makeup to their faces and bodies in war paint fashion. Stu was at the wheel, also slathered in war paint and Squawker was perched on the back of the driver’s seat. "Hey, kid," said Stu. "Awk," said Squawker. Yobo had never been so relieved in his short life. "The cavity has arrived, Stu Stu?" he asked excitedly. "Yeah kid, the cavity has arrived," Stu confirmed. Yobo clambered aboard and the chief slid the side door shut. "Now let’s kick some buccaneer booty!" Stu shouted. He popped the clutch and floored the gas pedal and the bus was off with a lurch. They bore down on the pirates and none too soon. The first waves of the high tide were already washing around the anxious captives’ necks. Stu and his brigade chased the pirates around the beach. The armed, pirate leader fired round after round but, Stu managed to keep him off balance enough so that he couldn’t get a steady aim. The bullets that did find their mark were readily absorbed by the thick wooden mask. It was a perfect shield. Yobo climbed through the open sunroof and onto the top of the VW bus. He pelted the fleeing sea dogs with rock after rock. The chief used his open passenger seat window to light up the retreating pirates’ posteriors with blasts from the hair spray blow torch. The other two cannibals slid open the side door and jabbed their adversaries with their pointy spears. Stu beaned them with coconuts and Squawker dive-bombed the drug smugglers, strafing them with seashells, rocks and whatever other debris he could find on the beach. The pirates scattered in all directions to escape the wrath of their attackers. In the confusion, Stu steered the VW straight at the buried Tawni, Tootawni and Tawnawki. Unable to move, they all screamed in horror as he drove right over their protruding heads... and slammed on the brakes stopping the van directly over them. Yobo and Clumsy continued to fend off the pirates with rocks and coconuts while Stu, Normal and the chief pull Tawni to safety through the big hole in the floor of the van. Next, they plucked Little Ton from the sandy grave and finally the hefty Tootawni was hauled inside with a mighty joint effort. Just when it looked like operation cavalry was going to be a big success, Black Beard managed to jump unnoticed onto the side of the bus. He clung on tight and inched his way toward the roof as Stu threw the van into reverse and spun the wheels. Black Beard got a foothold in an open window and was just about to pull himself up on top of the vehicle when the chief saw the pirate’s foot propped in the open window. The round, little chief wobbled as quickly as he could to the back of the retreating, jumping, veering bus. Topside, Black Beard’s head popped up behind the unsuspecting Yobo. Black Beard grabbed Yobo’s arm from behind about the same time that the chief grabbed Black Beard’s leg and pulled it through the open window. At the same time, Clumsy also went to Yobo’s rescue. He climbed up through the sunroof and onto the top of the rumbling bus. He grabbed Yobo’s other arm and a rooftop tug of war ensued between Clumsy and Black Beard with Yobo in the middle. Meanwhile, the cannibal chief pulled up Black Beard’s pants leg, considered the fleshy, fresh meat before him, and chomped down hard! "Yeow!" Black Beard screamed. He let Yobo loose and half jumped, half fell off the moving bus, face first onto the sandy beach! Clumsy was tugging on Yobo for all he was worth when Black Beard let go and the sudden release sent him reeling over the other side of the bus, arms and legs flailing. He landed hard on his tailbone. Ordinarily this would have been a perfect opportunity for the chief and Normal to have a good laugh at Clumsy’s expense. However, this was not the time. The pirates realized that the raiders had effectively rescued their friends. They regrouped and started back after them. Clumsy saw the pirates turning and coming back his way. He gulped hard, for the first time ever the head hunter was now the prey. He scrambled to his feet and ran after the VW bus that was fast retreating in reverse. Clumsy chased the bus and the pirates chased clumsy. Stu slowed down just enough to allow Clumsy to catch up on the fly. If there was ever a moment when Clumsy needed to not be clumsy, that time was now. Stu and the others all cheered him on as Clumsy got within inches of the backing bus. He closed his eyes and lept for it. He grabbed one of the wooden mask’s eyeholes and got a foothold in it’s mouth. All his friends erupted in cheers as Clumsy clung to the wooden, ceremonial mask. Their victory celebration was short-lived however, as the pirate leader suddenly stopped running, struck a firing stance and drew down on Clumsy with his long barreled pistol! Everyone in the bus drew a collective breath and held it. "Man, I sure could use those magic coins right about now," Stu said. The pirate leader cocked his gun to fire! Suddenly and seemingly from out of nowhere, Squawker swooped down and snatched the pistol away! He flew out over the breaking waves and dumped it into the sea. The leader of the drug smugglers cursed him and his cohorts cheered him as the fleeing bus backed over a rise and disappeared. "Don’t just stand there!" the leader yelled. "Get them!" Fearing their captain’s wrath, the smugglers sprinted to the top of the rise in pursuit. Nothing could have prepared the buccaneers for the scene that awaited them just the other side. The bus was parked. Stu, Tawni and the others had all disembarked and were standing next to it... smiling broadly. Squawker swooped down and perched on Stu’s shoulder. "Awk, Poopheads," he said, taunting the pirates. The pirates’ knees grew collectively week as they saw hundreds of island men on the beach and in their outriggers, returning to Nooki Nooki for the Festival of the Full Moon. The island women and children were emerging from the jungle to meet their men. "Let’s get outa here!" exclaimed Black Beard and the pirates turned tail. "Come back here!" demanded their leader. But, seeing Zuell and his warriors fast approaching, the leader reconsidered and passed the others about halfway back to their beached skiff. The pirates hurriedly piled into the inflatable boat, cranked the outboard and headed for their cabin cruiser anchored offshore. Spears rained down around them. They were about halfway to safety when one of the islander’s spears found it’s mark, puncturing the fragile skin of the inflatable and leaving the bad guys to swim the rest of the way to their floating, safe haven. By the time Stu and the others piled back in the VW and caught up, the island men were all cheering and the wet pirates were weighing anchor. Tootawni and Little Ton jumped out and embraced Little Ton’s father. Tawni ran to Zuell and hugged him. Stu opened the driver’s door to jump out and join in the celebration, then thought better of it and just sat there with the door open, watching the others greet their loved ones. "Oh Zuell, my husband, we are so happy to see you!" Tawni said. "Couldn’t be happier," Stu mocked under his breath. "Zuell is happy to see Tawndalayia too," Zuell said. "Zuell missed Tawndalayia." "You saved us!" Tawni said. "I had everything under control," Stu pointed out. Zuell turned his attention to Stu and the charred van with the wooden mask. "What is this?" he asked. "This is..." Tawni began but, Stu cut her off. "I can speak for myself," he said. He offered his outstretched hand to Tawni’s husband and introduced himself. "Oscar Stewart, I’m a friend of your wife." "I will kill you," Zuell said flatly, ignoring Stu’s hand. "Great. This is just great," Stu said, withdrawing his handshake offer. "I survive sharks, wild pigs, crabs, tourists, hungry cannibals and pissed off pirates just to be killed by a jealous husband..." Zuell abruptly interrupted Stu’s harangue by knocking him cold with one punch! Stu slumped in his seat. "Zuell, no!" Tawni pleaded. "He has been taking care of Yobo and me while you were away!" Zuell grew red with rage. "A man, here on Nooki Nooki... with you?! Now I really kill him!" He drew a long, gleaming dagger from its sheath. It looked exactly like Yobo’s knife, only bigger... much bigger. Coming to Stu’s rescue, Yobo fought through the crowd and discreetly placed something in his mother’s hand, then grabbed Zuell’s arm. He pulled and tugged for his father’s attention. "Father, look, look, I still have the knife you made for me. See? I have taken good care of it, just like you taught me!" Zuell turned his attention from Stu to his persistent son. Yobo pulled him away from Stu. "See," Yobo said, "I have used it every day!" Tawni took advantage of the distraction. She opened her hand to find...... the magic coins! Quickly she rubbed one furiously, leaned into the van and nudged the half conscious Stu. "Stu Stu?.. Stu Stu, I think you must go home now... Stu Stu, it is for the best... Besides..." she paused looking for a reason to justify what she did not want to do. "...I could never love an Oscar." The ancient coin sparkled and glowed as she put it in Stu’s hand and closed his fingers around it. Holding his hand in hers, she closed her eyes and mouthed a silent wish. Magically, Stu and the VW bus started to fade before Tawni’s eyes. She gasped. Then, she reached inside and kissed Stu on the forehead. Stu was just coming to as he and the bus faded. "What... wait," he began. "I love you, Stu Stu," Tawni said and the bus vanished inducing an aggregated gasp from the crowd of islanders. Hearing this, Zuell turned back to see what had happened among his subjects. "Huh, where did man go?" "What man?" Tawni asked, playing dumb. "Man in big orange thing," Zuell said. "Big orange thing?" Tawni asked. She turned to Yobo, Tootawni and Tawnawki. "Did any of you see a big orange thing?" she asked. They all averted their eyes away from Zuell and shook their heads no. Just then an elderly, bearded island man blew long and hard on a conch shell horn. "Let the Festival of the Full Moon begin," he decreed. The island families started forming up and moving off into the jungle for their respective homes. Zuell tipped up a cockle shell with his big toe, still searching for the vanished van. "Zuell," Tawni said, "it is Festival... Zuell? Did you not miss Tawndalayia?" "Of course," Zuell answered, turning his attention to his wife, "Zuell miss Tawndalayia very much". He smiled broadly and swept Tawni up in his muscular arms like a baby. "Come!" he said. But, Tawni jumped back down, impishly defiant. "Not so fast!" she said. Zuell was taken back. "First there are going to be some changes around here," Tawni scolded. She grabbed her brawny man by one ear and led him away toward home. "Changes?" Zuell wondered out loud. "No more separate islands for Tawndalayia and Zuell." "Yes, dear." "No more flirting with girls." "Yes dear." Tawni continued giving Zuell an earful as Yobo caught up on the other side of his father and took his hand. Zuell looked down to his young son for support but, Yobo just gave him a look as if to say, "See what I have to put up with when you’re not here... and isn’t it kind of nice?" CHAPTER 39 It was late evening back at the Stewart household. Light spilled from the front windows onto the lawn rendering its usual cozy effect. All was quiet... tranquil even. Suddenly, the tranquillity was shattered by a loud crash inside the garage! The crash was followed by the harsh discord of the VW bus’s horn sounding continuously! The Stewart’s porch light clicked on and Brad rushed out onto the tongue and groove planks. He was followed closely by Mary and Tiffy. Tiffy was holding a big slab of chocolate cake with a single birthday candle in one hand and an empty glass in the other. "What on earth?!" exclaimed Mary as her eight year old dashed toward the garage.
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