An Island Unto Himself, The Novel (7) Tawni had no concept of money or expense. "Expensive?" she asked. "You know, valuable. These here are especially valuable, seeing as how I only have about a dozen left." "Especially valuable?" "Yeah, you know, supply and demand." "Can I smoke a cigarette?" Tawni asked. "No, you can’t smoke a cigarette," Stu answered. "They are too valuable for me?" "No, it’s not that. It’s just that you don’t want to start smoking. It’s a hard habit to kick besides, cigarettes are bad for you." "I should say so," Tawni agreed. "They catch you on fire." CHAPTER 17 Stu and Tawni arrived back at the VW bus and another question rolled off the inquisitive girl’s tongue, "Stu Stu, what is a numskull?" Stu stammered for an answer, "What... oh, a... a numskull, let’s see, how can I explain? In my world, numskull means... beautiful woman. Yeah, that’s it, a very beautiful woman!" Tawni blushed, delighted with Stu’s answer. Stu decided to avert her attention before she could ask him anything else. "Come on, I’ll take you for a ride," he said. He jumped into the old, orange van and Tawni followed close behind. "Ride?" she asked. Stu cranked up the bus. "Hang on to your ass!" he said. "Hang on to my ass?" Stu spun the wheels and they started with a lurch. The lean to, bamboo awning fell by the wayside and they were off on a joy ride. The uninitiated Tawni gripped the door handle with her right hand and the dashboard with her left. She dug in with her finger nails and held on. She would have screamed but, she was too scared. Stu put the bus through its paces. He sped along for a while, cut some doughnuts, chased some birds and jumped some dunes. Eventually, Tawni started to loosen up. Jumping the dunes put a tickle in the pit of her stomach. She started to laugh. Stu started yelping yahoos and she laughed harder. By the time they pulled to a stop back at Stu’s camp, they were both laughing hysterically. "How was that?" Stu asked. Tawni gathered herself enough to answer between giggles, "That was fun, Stu Stu". Now will you make Tawni pretty?" Stu was reluctant but, he said, "Okay, I’ll try. Here, sit back." Stu got Tiffy’s makeup case while Tawni positioned herself. He put a cassette in the tape deck, the romantic ballad If , by Bread started to play softly. "What is that?" Tawni asked. "Music, you like it?" "It makes me feel..." Tawni paused searching for the right word, "nice", she finally said. Stu began to apply the makeup, drawing on every drop of artistic ability he had. Unfortunately, the pool of talent he drew from wasn’t very big. "You are making me pretty?" Tawni asked. "I’m working on it," Stu said. "This almost seems sacrilegious," he thought to himself. "Like a house painter touching up a Monet." Stu worked on as the inspiring love song played in the background. The words ran together in Stu’s mind as he worked on Tawni, something about painting a picture and painting you. It seemed a fitting song for the work at hand. Stu applied base and blush and eye shadow and lipstick and lip liner and more eyeshadow and more base and more lipstick. Finally, Stu stepped back and examined his work. "There, all done... I guess," he said. "I am beautiful now?" Tawni asked him. Stu paused. "Well,... beauty is a relative thing," he finally said. "Do I look like a numskull?" she asked hopefully. "Boy, do you ever," Stu thought to himself. "Here, you be the judge," he said as he turned the rear view mirror toward Tawni so she could see for herself. She saw her reflection for the first time in her life. She didn’t even recognize herself. Being slathered with layers of makeup didn’t help. Tawni shrieked a shrill scream! "What?!" Stu yelled. "Take it away! Monster!" "Haven’t you ever seen your own reflection before? It’s you, see?" "That is not me!" "It is you!" "That is me?" "Sure it’s you. See everything is all right. It’s just you," Stu assured her. Tawni started to cry. "Now what?" Stu asked. "I am u-u-u-ugly," she sighed between tears. "You’re not ugly!" Stu said. "I am ugly! My face is all pale and pasty, my cheeks and lips are all red and I am all bruised around my eyes!" Stu grabbed some baby oil and towelettes from the makeup case and started cleaning her up. "No. No, you’re not ugly. It’s just the makeup. There, see?" Stu said, pointing to the mirror as he continued to erase his artwork gone askew. "It’s not you, it’s my fault." "Tawni is not ugly?" "No." "Tawni is a numskull?" "Stu Stu is the numskull", Stu thought to himself. But, that’s not what he told Tawni. "I’d say Tawni is just about the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen," he told her. "You made Tawni ugly, Stu Stu?" "Well, yeah but, it’s not like you make it sound..." Tawni swatted Stu on the shoulder and chastised him, "Bad Stu Stu!" "Feel better?" he asked referring to the mini flogging. Tawni bit the corner of her bottom lip mischievously and picked up an eye liner pencil. Methodically she traced black circles around one of Stu’s eyes and then the other. When she was finished she added whiskers. Stu just sat there and took his punishment like a man... a man in makeup, that is. Tawni finished her master piece by making rows of long, squiggly lines on his forehead and cheeks. "There, now I feel better. Now Stu Stu is pretty like Tawni," she said turning his face toward the rear view mirror. When Stu saw himself in the mirror, his eyes bulged at the sight and that made him look even sillier. Tawni bolted from the bus laughing hysterically. Stu chased after her! Tawni took to the trees and weaved in and out of the bamboo and palms as Stu tried to catch up. The longer the chase went on, the more Tawni laughed. Stu wasn’t making much headway in the thick foliage but, then Tawni made a strategical error. She ran for the surf, leaving the safety of the trees and Stu finally narrowed the gap. He was closing in when they reached the lapping tidewaters. Tawni turned and followed the surf line along the beach. Water splashed and sprayed in the wake of her running footsteps. Stu reached out to grab her but, the shallow water proved too difficult for the unagile runner to navigate and he took a spill. He tumbled head over hills in an extemporaneous somersault. All four of his arms and legs flailed about him as he rolled to a stop on his back in the ankle deep water. Concerned, Tawni stopped running and laughing and came back to check on her fallen pursuer. Stu lay perfectly still with his eyes closed as the water rippled around him. He wasn’t making a sound. It didn’t even look like he was breathing. "Stu Stu?" Tawni said. No response. Tawni poked him with her toe. "Stu Stu?" she repeated. Still no response. Tawni bent over and poked him in the rib. "Stu Stu... Stu Stu, say something." "Gotcha!" Stu yelled out loud as he grabbed Tawni’s wrist and snatched her down on top of him! Tawni screamed! At the same time a big wave rolled in with the rising tide and swallowed them up. Tawni saw it coming and held her breath but, poor Stu was caught unprepared. He came up snorting and spitting and wheezing! Tawni couldn’t help laughing once again. "Poor Stu Stu," she said. She helped him sit upright between giggles and even tried to wash off the black markings on his face with some saltwater. Not very much came off and that made her laugh even harder. "Very funny," Stu said as he crawled to safety. "I am sorry," Tawni said. "I just cannot stop laughing. You look so... pretty." Stu made dry land and flopped over onto his back. Tawni crawled up and sat next to him trying her best not to snicker. However, every time she looked down at Stu’s face, she cracked up again. "All right, all right, I think we’ve just about worn out this whole goofy makeup schtick!" Stu lamented, sitting up next to Tawni. Embarrassed and self conscious, Stu didn’t make eye contact with Tawni. Instead he looked down at the sand between them. He twirled patterns in the wet grit with his finger. He thoughtfully pushed some into little piles and patted them to make them firm. Tawni broke the cool silence with an observation. "Stu Stu is mad with Tawni again," she said. "No, I’m not!" "Yes, you are." "Well, maybe just a little." There was a short pause in the conversation and Tawni broke the silence a second time. "Stu Stu is very moody," she said. "No, I’m not!" "Yes, you are. What are you doing?" "I’m building a sand castle... and I am not moody." Tawni’s curiosity was peaked and she turned toward Stu and the piles of sand he was compacting. "What is a sand castle?" she asked him. "A sand castle is like a house made of sand," Stu explained. "I wouldn’t want to live in a house made of sand," Tawni said. "It might fall in on top of me." "They’re not real houses..." "Besides, it would be very dirty and sandy," Tawni interrupted. "They’re not real houses!" Stu was losing his patience for Tawni’s innocent observations. "Mo-o-o-ody," Tawni hummed under her breath. "I am not moody!" Stu paused and gathered himself. "Look, what I meant to say is that sand castles are like little, toy houses. They’re just for fun, you know for relaxation. It’s like art or doodling. It has a calming effect." "Do you make sand castles often?" "As a matter of fact, this is my first one ever," Stu said. "I’ve always dreamed of building sand castles on a beautiful, white beach like this. I’ve just never had the opportunity until now." "I could tell," Tawni said. "You are not very calm." "I guess I deserve that," Stu said as the pile of sand he was working on crumbled. "I’m afraid I’m not very good at it either. Well?" "Well, what?" "Aren’t you going to help me out?" Stu asked. "Me?" Tawni asked. "Yeah, you. Come on, dig in. You can’t do any worse than me." The two joined forces and played in the sand. First, they used sea shells and driftwood to mold and scrape the moist sand and shape it into something that kind of resembled a house. Then, they etched out windows and a door and a walkway in the sand sculpture. They used little pieces of broken reed to construct a picket fence all the way around the little sand house. Tawni laughed at Stu when one of the walls collapsed as he was carving out a window with a twig. Stu didn’t get mad at her laughter this time. He took it in stride and he in turn, laughed at her when she inadvertently stepped on the parlor, crushing it under foot. They had such a good time that when they finished, Stu suggested they sculpt a sand dolphin. The more they played in the sand, the better they got and the dolphin actually turned out pretty good so they tried another and then another. When they were finished, they had a trio of graceful looking, swimming dolphins. They stood up and stepped back to admire their craftsmanship. "I am getting very good at this," Tawni said. "Oh, you are, are you?" Stu said. "I’ll tell you what Miss Fun In The Sun, let’s have a little contest. Let’s see who can build the best sand castle, me or you. The loser has to fix supper for the winner." Tawni hesitated at the challenge. "I do not know," she said. "What’s the matter, scared you’ll lose?" Stu taunted. "No, I am scared I will win... I hate green bananas," she teased. "Okay smarty pants, lets see how your appetite is when you have to eat your own words. Come on," Stu challenged as he started scooping sand into a big pile. The two worked diligently on their individual creations. When Tawni wasn’t looking Stu would pilfer from her stockpile of sand. When Tawni would catch him she would swat him playfully on the hand. They accused each other of stealing their ideas and copying their architecture. They laughed and played and worked and laughed some more. Stu had an idea. He went to the bus and returned with an old plastic, drinking straw and a wadded up paper napkin. He uncrumpled the napkin and ironed it between the palms of his hands. He poked three holes along one end of the napkin and fished the straw through the holes to make a flag. Stu planted the flag at the highest point of his sand castle. "There, all finished!" he said triumphantly. "Me too!" said Tawni. They both stood up and started methodically walking around the two, sandy construction sites, inspecting every detail of each other’s handiwork. After about the third lap around, Stu made a declaration. "Mine’s the best," he said. Tawni took exception to his blunt and biased adjudication. "Your house is not the best. Mine is the best," she said. "Anyone can plainly see that mine is better," Stu countered. "Why?!" Tawni demanded. Stu wasn’t prepared for such a shrewd line of questioning. "Why?... Because... Just because!" was all he could come up with. But, Tawni was unrelenting, "Because why?" Stu could feel this line of litigation slipping out of his control but, he wasn’t about to give in. "Because, it’s got this cool flag, that’s why," he said. Tawni considered the rag tag flag for maybe two seconds and then promptly stomped it into oblivion with one pretty, bare foot. "What flag?" she asked smugly. At first, Stu had to fight back the urge to yell. Then, he had to fight back the urge to laugh but, try as he might he couldn’t hold it in. He burst out laughing! "Okay, I surrender," he said. "After all, it was a white flag. What would the victor like for dinner? You’ve already ruled out bananas. That narrows my menu down to either fish or fish." "Do you have fish?" Tawni asked suspiciously. "No, but I’m sure I can catch some." "I have seen you fish, Stu Stu. I do not want to hurt your feelings but, I am not in the mood for big shark. Come with me." "Where are we going?" "To my favorite fishing spot." Tawni pointed way up the beach. "Around that bend", she said and started walking. "Hold up," Stu said. "That’s quite a ways. Why walk when we can ride?" Stu took Tawni by the hand and they headed for the van. They loaded up and took off for the fishing hole. When they rounded the bend, they came upon a big, scattered group of flat, black rock formations that jutted out into the ocean. They extended from the water about halfway back to the tree line. "Here," Tawni said. Stu stopped the bus and they disembarked. The flat, black rocks were actually conglomerations of centuries of accumulated sediment deposits. They were speckled with shells, small fossils and pebbles that had become trapped in the hardening sediment and suspended in time. The alternating cycles of deposits and erosion from wind blown sand, rain and crashing, saltwater waves had left its mark in the form of strange shapes and patterns engraved in the rock. Many of these concave hollows were filled with trapped water. Some of which also contained trapped ocean life. There were fish of different shapes and sizes, shell fish, small starfish and even some plant life grew in the bigger pools. "Tidal pools," Tawni explained as they mounted the first big, flat rock. "Wow, how did these fish get here?" Stu asked. Tawni told him how the high tides covered the rocks twice each day. When the tide subsided, fish and other aquatic life was often trapped in the pools, at least until the next high tide. Every tide was different. One might leave a bounty of fresh fish while the next would leave nothing at all. Today’s selection was about average. Stu eyed a good looking fish in one of the rock pools. It was about eight inches long and looked like good eating. Stu crouched motionless beside the small pool and waited for his prey to swim by. At first it seemed that the fish was onto Stu. It didn’t come close. But, eventually patience prevailed and the pretty fish swam close enough for Stu to make a grab for it. When he did, the fish spooked and darted away leaving his stalker with a fistful of sun warmed water. The fleet, finned foe now seemed to realize that Stu was not nimble enough to snag him and proceeded to swim back and forth past Stu’s position. Each time, Stu swatted at the fish and each time he missed. Stu appreciated the fact that for once Tawni was able to contain her charming laughter. It seemed however, that now the fish was mocking him. Finally, Stu had enough. "I’ve got something for you Mr. Fish!" he said as he jumped down off the rocks Stu grabbed up a crooked limb of driftwood about the size of a baseball bat. Armed with his new fishing pole, Stu remounted the rock, held the bat over his shoulder and waited for the fish to swim by one more time. Stu looked like a golfer preparing to tee off as the foxy fish took his time and taunted him from the far side of the pool. Eventually, the fish headed back his way. The closer he came, the further back Stu wound up. By the time the fish was within striking distance, Stu was wound tighter than a mainspring. Suddenly, the fish flipped his tail and darted right past the cocked duffer. Stu swung, missed and fell into the shallow pool. The wake from the big splash carried the fish right over the brim of the pool and out onto the beach where it flipped and flopped and floundered. Poor Tawni buried her face in her hands to conceal the snorting sounds she was making trying to hold in the laughter that was so desperately trying to get out. Stu didn’t notice because he was still intent on his quarry. He tried to go after it. He more or less half jumped and half fell over the side of the of the black rock and onto the beach. He crawled and plunged head long after the flopping fish as it haphazardly flopped toward the surf. Just before it reached safety, Stu lunged for it, stretching his body as far as he could. He grabbed up his prize and momentarily juggled the slippery critter like a wide receiver trying to make a fingertip catch in the rain. In the end, the fish wriggled free and was gone in the blink of an eye. When the defeated fisherman turned to look at Tawni, she was removing her hands from her face. Tears streamed down her pretty cheeks and her chest was heaving. "What’s wrong with you?" Stu asked. Tawni didn’t answer. She couldn’t, not without giving into hilarity once more. She turned and ran to the trees. "Women!" Stu lamented, "they’re the same the world over. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never figure them out." He got up, tried unsuccessfully to brush the wet sand from his clothes and went after Tawni in the trees. He was about halfway there when Tawni reappeared. She had composed herself and was carrying two long, slender lengths of bamboo. "What’s up with you," Stu demanded. But, Tawni walked right past him. She was trying not to look too closely at the condition of his clothes for fear she would lose control again. "I am all right now," she said. "Follow me." Stu did as directed and followed Tawni back to the rocks. She chose a likely one and climbed on. Stu followed. "Hold this, do what I do," Tawni said. She handed one of the long, bamboo sticks to Stu. Tawni held one end of her shoot against the rough surface of the rock and rubbed and scraped it, effectively grinding it into a sharp, flat tip. Stu followed her lead. When Tawni was satisfied with the point at the end of her bamboo lance, she poised herself, spear ready and waited for her target to swim by. Presently, a small sea bass wandered close. Tawni was swift and precise with her movement! She struck before the fish had time to react and plucked him from the shallow pool on the end of her spear. Stu clapped and cheered! "Spear fishing," he said. "Why didn’t I think of that?" "Now you try," Tawni said. There weren’t any more fish in that pool so Stu inspected the others until he found one with life, three fish of different species. There was a small angelfish, a round fish that resembled a baseball with spikes and there was a flounder. Stu decided on the baseball fish. He was curious and wanted to inspect it more closely. He drew back his spear but, a quick glance at Tawni revealed her disapproval. She shook her head. "What?!" Stu asked. "Poison," she answered candidly. "Oops." Stu changed his aim to zero in on the flounder. The flat fish made for an easier target anyway. Stu’s lunging jab wasn’t as graceful as Tawni’s but, it was effective. He speared the flounder on his first try. This time it was Tawni who clapped and cheered. "You did it, Stu Stu! See, you are a good fisherman!" "It’s all in the cast," Stu quipped. "Easier than shooting fish in a barrel." After they reeled in a few more fish and collected some of the shellfish, Tawni showed Stu which of the aquatic plants anchored in the tidal pool were good to eat. They collected a dozen or so plump tubers. The underwater roots looked like unshelled pecans covered with a thin brown skin. Tawni asked Stu to get a couple coconuts while he was gathering firewood. Meanwhile, she got the catch of the day ready to cook. Tawni showed Stu how to arrange the firewood into a doughnut shape with a big open space in the middle. She filled this space with a layer of rocks. She wrapped the roots, fish and shellfish all together in big, broad leaves and placed them on the rocks. Tawni soaked the big, borrito - like leaf wraps with plenty of saltwater so that they wouldn’t ignite and Stu showed Tawni how to use Trusty Zippo to get the fire going. Tawni split the coconuts on the big, black rock formations and placed them on the bed of rocks in the center of the campfire. "What are those for?" asked Stu. "Dessert," Tawni said. By the time they got dinner under way it was getting dark. The two sat back on either side of the fire to enjoy the sunset while their meal baked between them. It started slowly, just streaks of orange and pink framing the wispy clouds that streaked the pale, blue sky over the water. Eventually, it intensified until the whole western sky seemed to be saturated in pink. As the sun sank lower, the colors changed and mingled. The sky turned from torqoise and pink to purple and blue to purple and red until the sinking sun disappeared into the sea at the horizon. As sunsets go, this one had to be the most romantic Stu had ever seen. He was mesmerized. The sky darkened as the light show faded. "Wow..." was all Stu could think of to say. He looked across the fire to Tawni. She was looking back at him. As a matter of fact, Stu got the feeling she had been watching him for some time. Tawni looked down to the fire, averting her eyes away from Stu. The flickering light from the fire danced across her face. She looked prettier than ever. The contents of the wet, leaf wraps began to simmer and crackle. Stu could hear the shellfish popping open. "Sounds like our dinner is done," Tawni said. She used her bamboo spear to tear an opening in the ring of fire that surrounded their meal. She stabbed the scorched, leafy wraps and drug them out of the fire. Stu and Tawni gingerly unwrapped the hot food and dug in. The mixture of the sea water that Tawni had used to soak the leaves and the rich tasting liquid that spewed from the shellfish when they popped open made for a marinate that was out of this world. It had mostly evaporated in steam but, the leaf wraps held in just the right amount of salt and juice to keep the fish moist, tender and tasty. Tawni showed Stu how to mash open the hot, brown, aquatic roots to access the white meaty inside. The roots reminded Stu of parsnips but, they had a mild buttery flavor all their own. As far as the shellfish went, Stu needed no tutoring. He had been a lover of these all his life and he ate his fill. While they ate, the roasting coconuts halves continued to brown. By the time Stu and Tawni got to them, the coconut meat had begun to split and pull away from the shells. It was easy for the diners to peel the toasted strips from the shells and eat them. The strips were brown and crunchy on the outside and moist and chewy on the inside. Stu ate till he was full as a tick. When he surveyed the remains it seemed that there was as much left over as what they had eaten. The fire was just about burned out. "We should be on our way back," Tawni said. "Back where?"
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