My Artificial Heart (10) "Are you able to give names?" She sounded scared. The way she sounded, made my arm clench to may chest, it was as if her fear became mine. I frowned, determined to make the fear go away. "Tammy." I lifted my hand from my chest, she wasn't scared any more. "That's a beautiful name, thank you Dreeve!" "That's what I was going to name my cat Cocoa’s girlfriend if he'd lived long enough to get one.." "Tammy, yeah. T-A-M-Y." "With two Ms." I corrected. "Oh, ok. T-A-M-M-Y. Tammy! Thank you Dreeve!" I could feel her smile. "Um, you're welcome." I sat back down on my bunk. "My name is Tammy, yes that's it. Will you be my friend Dreeve?" "Friend?" A real friend, how strange. "Well, if you're supposed to be my heart, and you're inside me. Of course I'll be your friend." I smiled suddenly. "Great! I'm so happy, a brand new best friend and a name all in the same day! Thank you Dreeve! You're the best!" The loneliness I felt just moments ago drifted away. "I'm happy to meet you, it was really getting lonely in here." I felt perfectly normal, her voice didn't come from outside like another person's would. It came from inside me, I could hear her as naturally as I heard my own thoughts. "We've been in here for so long, I've lost count of the days. How much longer will we have be in here?" "Three more long and boring years..." "Oh... Well, don't worry about a thing, I'll keep you company Dreeve. I sure will, I'll never leave you." I placed my hand on my chest to feel Tammy's heartbeat. It remained steady, she truly must've been my friend to keep working all these years. "Sorry to have to put you through all this, it's a shame you couldn't have been used to save someone more... worth-while than me. I'm just a pathetic criminal." I laid back down on my bunk and began staring at the ceiling again. "Why would I want to be someone else's heart? No one is as nice as you are." She was persistently kind to me, I found that very strange. "Trissa was a nicer person than me, lots of good stuff happened to her because she was nice. But me, I was a bad person all my life. All I ever did was hurt her and everyone else. Now look where I ended up. I got what I deserved. But you, you didn't deserve any of this. Not only have I brought myself down, but I've gone and ruined your life too. And there's no way I can ever be forgiven for that, never." "You never did anything wrong to me Dreeve, in fact you did a good thing. If it weren't for you, I would have never been used because some newer, better artificial heart would have already been made. And you know that, because when they let us watch TV the other day they announced just that on the news! A newer, better artificial heart that outperformed all the older models was made. Do you know what that would've meant for me? I'd be trapped forever inside some box in a lab in the middle of nowhere. Or even worse they probably would've just thrown me away and I'd be melted up and used for scrap metal! I'd never be able to meet someone like you, I'd never be able to experience this life with you. I don't care if it’s a life with you in prison, it’s a life nonetheless! That's something I can never stop being thankful for." The thought of Tammy being trapped inside a box disturbed me greatly. "It's better to be trapped in a box with company than with no one at all!" "I wish I could see her again. So that I could at least apologize, there's no way around excusing all the bad things I've done to her." Trissa, I missed her so much. "Forget about her. She's not a nice girl at all." I was beginning to think Tammy didn't like Trissa. "Forget about her? How can I? I have her name carved into my arm," I pulled up my sleeve and showed Tammy Trissa's name, written rather neatly considering I did it with my own switchblade. "this is a constant reminder of it." Tammy gasped at the disturbing sight. "Dreeve, why would you cut yourself up like that?" I ran my fingers across the eternal scar, Tammy cringed at the sight. "I'm a bad person, I deserve it. Besides, I wanted to make my body a monument to Trissa, the most beautiful woman in the world. This was my way of showing how special she was, and still is to me. Of course I wasn't so special to her, I can't really blame her. I mean I stalked her all day and embarrassed her in front of all her friends every time I talked to her." "Quit putting yourself down now, there are lots of women out there besides her. You just gotta look around more." A woman, it had been so long since I last seen one... "Are you... a woman?" My voiced raised with hope. "Me? I'm your heart." She answered simply. "But are you a woman? You know, female?" "Well... I've been listening to your thoughts, and what you define as a woman. From what you believe, a woman is someone who is nice, and caring, someone who is beautiful and helps men like you. A woman doesn't try to put you down or prove you wrong in anyway. A woman would never do anything to harm you because she would know that you would never do anything to harm her. She wouldn't have to be afraid of you and you wouldn't have to be afraid of her, because a woman would know that she is respected and treated like a goddess around you. A woman is someone who thinks you're special to her, she worries about you when you're hurt and laughs with you when you're happy. A woman is the most gentle and beautiful creature on earth, and they are what you love and live for in this world... I care about you Dreeve, I really do. And when you're sad it makes me sad, and when you're happy it makes me happy. I would never want to hurt you, because we share this body together. And I know you'd never want to hurt me, because friends don't do that to each other. You're my friend, we're best friends, and that means you're special to me, you're everything to me. From what you're memories describe, I certainly do sound like a woman. So I guess that's what I am. A woman." She had my definition down perfect. I was amazed at the sentiment and honesty in her voice. It felt almost out of place to hear a woman talk to me that way. "Thanks a lot for coming out to talk to me. I haven't heard or seen a woman in two years since that guy got out. I was beginning to go insane from it." She smiled at me again. I looked at the wall again, and at my ruined imaginary picture of Trissa. "I'm really bored. My picture of Trissa is ruined." "I will sing for you." Tammy suggested as I tried to fix the ruined picture. "You can sing?" "I sure can, just listen and relax." I forgot about the picture and laid back onto my bunk to listen. "Ok..." Somewhere special. Somewhere far, beyond the beaches beyond the stars. I am here for you. For you alone I sing my tune. Through all your troubles through all your fears. I am here to wipe away your tears. Like a star a distant star, always shining, ever blinding The light that I share with you. We're in this together, us two forever. I will sing for you, my constant hymn. For you my friend, that you may live. "That was nice." I scolded myself, demanding a better comment. "Uh, I mean. That was beautiful!" Tammy giggled at me, her small little giggle almost seemed to force me to smile. "Dreeve, don't worry about it. I'm not like those other women who cry about every little thing you do. You don't have to worry about how you act or what you say around me. We're best friends, we're both on the same team." Tammy reassured me. "Wow. Thanks." I took a quick glance at my ruined picture of Trissa, and soon it was forgotten. "Hey, how 'bout we play a game? Maybe that will make you unbored." "A game? Well, ok. Don't know if we can play hide and go seek in here too well though." "No, no, not that game. This is a different game, um, you'll have to pretend a little though." Tammy remained silent, anxiously waiting for an answer. "Um, ok." When you’re bored you'll do just about anything. "Ok! You're Seth, an undercover reporter for the Rew City Times. You wear a tuxedo, and your hair is all gelled up, and all the women think you’re hot." Tammy said with the energy of a little girl. "Like James Bond?" "Um, yeah like James Bond." "Ok." "And I'll be um, Tammy your sidekick. I'm also an undercover reporter for the Rew City Times, and everyone is jealous of me because I get to hang out with the sexiest man in the world." "James Bond didn't have a sidekick." I reminded Tammy. "Yeah he did, he had that girl Money Penny." "But she never went with him on top secret missions and stuff, she was more like a secretary or something." "Ok, well lets just say he has a sidekick now." "Ok." Soon I forgot all about Trissa's picture and the prison bars that entombed us both. "So anyways we're sent to investigate this crime scene. We drive over in a cool looking corvette. And then we jump out and walk up into a bunch of apartments with are guns drawn." "Why would undercover newspaper reporters have guns?" "Um, because undercover reporting is a dangerous business." "Ok." Sounded reasonable. "Ok, so we sneak in and all of sudden this guy pops out of nowhere. He says, 'So I see we meet again Seth, I see you've brought along a little friend. You will never get the inside scoop on this crime scene!' Ok, and then you say..." "Um, I'm supposed to tell him something?" "Yeah! But stay in character." "Uh, ok. I tell him with a British accent, 'That's where you are wrong. We will get the inside scoop, and you're going to give it to us! And you're going to die for insulting my friend, er co-worker Tammy!' Then I pull out my gun and shoot him." I waited for Tammy to respond. Tammy laughed hysterically. "You're so funny Dreeve, but now that he's dead we'll never get the inside scoop!" "Damn." For the first time in a long time I was actually having fun. "Ok, all of sudden everyone is alerted to the gunshot. Then from out of nowhere this kung fu master guy throws a ninja star at your gun knocking it clear from your hands. And then without even bothering to introduce himself he leaps at me with a flying kick! But I block it with my hands. Then I do a round kick and knock him to the ground." "I pick up my gun again and shoot him, several times, to make sure he's dead." "He he, you really like that gun don't ya?" "Well, I don't know any kung fu. I see you do though." We both laughed together. "Ok, suddenly the main bad guys evil daughter steps in, with a really really big gun pointed at us. She says, 'I won't let you find out the inside scoop!' Then she cocks the gun and gets ready to fire! And I say, 'Oh no! I accidentally dropped my gun while I was fighting with the kung fu master! Dreeve, you have to stop her!'" "I can't." I had hurt too many women, I wasn't about to hurt another one, even if she was imaginary. "Huh? Whaddya mean you can't? You can't do what?" "I can't. I can't shoot her." "Why? She's the main bad guy’s evil daughter." "She's... a lady. I can't, I just can't. I get my gun and I shoot myself instead!" "Dreeve! That's not in character!" Tammy said, shocked at my actions. "That's what I would do. I wouldn't want to shoot a lady, that's just not right. I mean, she's a lady." "Well... But she's a bad lady. And she's going to shoot the both of us if we don't do anything." "No woman is ever bad. It's me who's always bad to them that makes them act meanly. I was probably staring at the main bad guy’s evil daughter again and she got fed up and wanted to kill me." "Dreeve! Don't think such things! Oh, what those women in the past did to you was wrong! Ok? You weren't the one who was wrong they were! But not all women are like that! I'm sure that once we're get outta here things will turn out for the better!" "I'm still not going to shoot the main bad guy’s evil daughter." "Hmm, well. Ok I got a better idea, just before she can shoot I throw a rock at her head, knocking her unconscious." I was happy as long as I didn't have to do anything harmful to her myself. "I run up to her, and put her on a nearby couch and put a blanket over her so that when she wakes up she'll be warm and comfortable." At least in this imaginary world I could be kind to women. "Good idea, maybe she'll be our ally later on and give us that inside scoop we're looking for!" "Yeah, maybe." "Ok, now let's go kick some more butt so we can get that inside scoop!"
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