My Artificial Heart (14)
"That bitch!" That was the first time I heard Tammy cuss. "Yeah, she was a bitch alright." "So, then what'd you do?" "The kid's mom brought the dog in for a while, and I had to go in there, and pick up what was left of Cocoa. God, that was the most disgusting thing I ever had to do. I put his remains in a trash bag, and then buried him in my backyard. The next day at school I went up to the kid who owned the pit bull wanting to start a fight. I wanted to make him bleed, to make him pay for what happened to Cocoa!" "And you punched his lights out?" Tammy filled in. "No." "Huh? Well, then what did you do?" I stood up, not wanting to view the kittens anymore. "The kid simply laughed at me, he told me how funny it was as he watched my Cocoa get ripped to shreds. He explained to me in great detail how he was still alive as the dog dragged him around the yard by his intestines. He laughed right in my face, and I simply stood there. I was too disgusted to do anything. He gave me a slap on the shoulder and said, 'Oh well.' and then he walked away. I stood there and did nothing." "That's terrible! What an asshole that guy is!" Tammy must've been learning all these bad words from me. She'd learn sooner or later I guess. "Now, every time I hear a dog bark, I always remember that image of poor Cocoa thrown about that yard in pieces and that damn dog barking at me. His tongue hanging out and his teeth showing almost like a grin, as if it were laughing at me. God, I'm such a pushover." "You're not a pushover Dreeve, you handled all of that very bravely." "No amount of bravery will ever bring Cocoa back." "Don't say that now, I'm sure Cocoa is in a better place now." I headed down the streets for home. With all the trouble at Barnes and Nobles I had missed the last bus for the day. Usually when I went for long walks I'd always tell myself that it was good exercise so I could look good for Trissa. Now though, I didn't really have any reason except that it was the only way I could get home. I passed by a the last of the noisy stores and busy streets and into the residential area of Rew City. The constant chatter of people was replace with the symphony of crickets, and the vapor that rose up from the ground that filled my nose with the smell of the wet cement. I turned around a deserted corner, only a few more blocks and I'd be home. Tammy and I had fallen into silent observance, we listened to the quite song of the nite. For the first time all day I felt a strange peace. That's when that dog started barking. "A dog! Watch out Dreeve!" I jumped back from the fence I was near. A German Shepard clawed away at the barbwire-lined fence, the fence rattled and moaned under the ruthless fury of the dog. "Dumb dog." I cursed at the thing. "Oh, I don't like dogs anymore!" Tammy groaned at the intimidating beast. "Reminds me of the one that ate Cocoa up..." I kicked the fence, causing the dog to bark even more. "This fence is way to weak..." I had the sudden urge to slit the dog’s throat with my switchblade. He was a hazard, he was going to eat up some other poor cat, I knew he would. "C'mon, let's get out of here. This dog is freaking me out." "All right." We continued for home. Chapter 21: Showing Off We were finally home, even though the sign outside warned that a convicted rapist lived here I felt that nothing could harm me while I was inside my small house. I sat down on my unmade bed and eyed the dartboard across the room. I had the sudden urge to throw things. "Hey Tammy check this out." I pulled out my switchblade from the well-concealed pocket of my leather jacket. I held the old companion carefully in my hands and presented it to Tammy. "So that's the knife you're always talking about. Wow." Tammy looked into the blade, watching our own reflection inside it. "Look what I can do." I looked at the small dartboard across the room. The dartboard was full of holes from usage. I aimed for the bulls-eye and carefully held my arm slightly back with the edge of the blade in my grip. Smoothly, as perfectly done as a choreographed figure skater I threw my arm forward and let the switchblade go the blade disappeared from my hands. A sudden swish and a solid thud and the blade reappeared again, stuck dead center in the bulls-eye. "Oh my God Dreeve! That was cool! I never knew you could throw stuff like that." "Well, just knives and darts, but yeah, it's sort of a hobby of mine." I walked up to the old dartboard and dislodged the switchblade from its place. "How'd you learn to throw like that?" Tammy asked, she was really impressed. "When I was in high school this kid shot a spitball at me. I really hated it when he did that, I asked him to stop but he wouldn't. He'd just kept bombarding me with spitballs everyday, until my desk was surrounded in them" "Why was he so mean to you?" "Because I was a pushover." "You're not a pushover Dreeve, you're very brave to ask him to stop like that. Most people would've tried to avoid him, or beat him up if they were able too." Tammy reminded me. "Well I didn't necessarily beat him up." I held my switchblade in my hands, pushing down the blade and then flicking it open again. "What did you do?" "I wanted to get revenge so badly, but I wanted to get back at him in a way that would make him fear me instead of the other way around. I needed to beat him at his own game." "So you shot him with a bigger spitball?" "Not exactly. I began practicing throwing things. I practiced throwing pens, rocks, anything that could go a good distance. I practiced hitting cans I placed along the fence at my old home. Every time I would pretend each can was the head of that one, annoying kid. I practiced and practiced until I felt that I was ready for revenge. And then that day I brought a rock the size of a marble to school. As usually he took a shot at me through his spitball-loaded straw. I let the damn thing hit me on the cheek, and as I wiped it away I frowned and pretended to be hurt. He began to laugh his disgusting little laugh, then while he was laughing I hurled the stone right between eyes and scored a direct hit." Tammy giggled hysterically. "Oh my God Dreeve! That's so cool! I bet he must've been crying!" "Actually, he was knocked unconscious." "Oh..." I laughed at the sight, everyone at the class ran to his aid while I just kept laughing. That was perhaps the few times in my life that I tasted victory. "But he was ok, they just had to take him to the hospital, and I was suspended for a couple of days but the best part was that I got my revenge. He never did shoot spitballs at me again. I can tell you that getting revenge was great." "Wow, so then once you did that did you keep throwing things?" "Yeah, my dad noticed that I liked throwing stuff a lot. So he brought me a switchblade for my 16th birthday. He wanted to see me throw the knife at the wall like they'd do in James Bond movies. So I sort of just got the hang of it and became pretty good at throwing stuff." "I wonder if there's a sport for throwing knives like that. Then you'd be really famous." I smiled at Tammy's enthusiasm. It had been so long since I'd been actually praised for something. I continued throwing the knife at the dartboard, then pulling it back out, walking to other side of the room and repeating the process. After a while I could hear Tammy become quieter. "I'm getting kinda sleepy Dreeve. I think I'm going to turn in for the night. Thanks for showing me your special talent. It's really great." I began to blush. "Good night Tammy." "Good night Dreeve." As soon as Tammy was asleep I got up from the bed. Quietly I walked over to the bathroom and pulled out a large first aid kit. I glanced over at the clock, 1:51 AM, this would take a while. I entered the shrine of Trissa bowing before walking in as always. I quietly placed the first aid kit and my switchblade before me, like as if they were sacred tools. I took off my brown jacket and viewed my two arms. My left arm bared my scar of Trissa. I had done a good job of writing it. Even 13 years after carving it in it still remained perfectly inscribed. I turned my attention to my other arm. I looked at the plain peachy skin, a blank sheet of paper for my next work of art. I could hear Tammy's quiet song, at complete peace, she slept undisturbed. I smiled at her presence, her warm personality always assuring me that I was never alone. Swiping my arm quickly with alcohol to num the anticipant pain, I picked up my switchblade. With the same blade I used to carve out Trissa’s name I began to carve the name of my one true friend. Cutting deep into the skin, I clenched my teeth as I tried my best to ignore in the pain. Despite being right handed I carved neater than ever with my left hand, my own flesh seemed to steady the blade as I carved away. Blood trickled down my arm like water, and just like water I treated it indifferently. I always had more blood to spare. As I carved I listened to Tammy's small song. I smiled as I began to imagine how she would respond to her present. Today was the day that she was born. The anniversary of when I was shot, and when she replaced my old heart. Every stinging second of pain only made me more anxious to see Tammy's response to this monument to her. "T-A-M" Only 2 more letters to go, I clenched my teeth and prepared for the next bout of pain as I began to carve the 2nd M into my already bloodied arm. While finishing up the M I must've pressed down too deep, and an instant shock of pain overwhelmed me. I yelped in pain, but quickly silenced it. I could hear Tammy stir a little, but then go back to sleep without incident. I brought out a patch of gauze and pressed down on my bleeding work of art. A bloodied puddle had already drenched the holy matt reserved for Trissa. I waited for the bleeding to slow down enough so that I could get back to work. I stared into the giant picture of Trissa. I stared at her deeply, wondering how things would be if we had actually become boyfriend and girlfriend. How would life be like if I had gotten her to marry me. I would probably not still be a virgin, I would probably be a father even. With my own children to love and care for, and buy excessive amounts of chocolate and candy for. I stared at her picture and wondered how life would be if things would have actually worked out with her. Things would be better, a lot better, but that just wasn't the case. Somehow a trickily stream of salty tears escaped from eyes, it bolted down my cheeks like an escapee from prison, until it was driven home landing onto the bloody puddle. "Damn it!" You're a weakling, was the first thought that came to mind. Men aren't supposed to cry, said in that all too familiar voice inside. It was you're fault you lost her, another voice from above hurled at me. "Shut up." I ordered myself, and brushed away a pathetic tear with my shoulder. I lifted the patch of gauze and wiped my arm clean from all of the blood. I gripped my switchblade again and got back to completing the final parts of Tammy's name. I began to feel woozy as a squirt of blood splashed across my face. I completed the final Y and smiled despite the excruciating pain I was in. I cleaned up her name, wiping away any loose pieces of skin. The name appeared clearly and thankfully spelled right. I smiled at my gift to Tammy and began to wrap up her present with bandages. After I finished that I got a black marker and wrote: "To: Tammy From: Dreeve Happy Birthday" I smiled at the gift, I was sure Tammy would flip over this. After mopping up the bloody mess inside the Shrine of Trissa I threw myself into bed and was asleep within seconds... "Wake up sleepy head!" I sat up and stretched out. Who needed an alarm clock when you had Tammy around? I rubbed my eyes, until I could see again. "Good morning Dreeve." Tammy greeted me in her usual cheerful tone. "Good morning Tammy." I answered in my usually groggy tone. Then I remembered what day it was, and then the present that I made for Tammy. "Happy Birthday Tammy." I managed to blurt out, I hoped the grogginess would clear up soon. "Aw, Dreeve you remembered. To be honest I almost forgot myself. That's really sweet of you." "I got a present for you." I was able to talk clearly now. Her appreciation filled me with energy. "A present for me? Really!?" That caught her attention, "I've never gotten a present before. Where is it? I want to see the present!" I lifted the covers and showed her my arm. "What happened to your arm? Why is it all wrapped up in bandages?" She noticed the message written to her on it. "This is your present." A wide grin sufficed on my face. "Dreeve... I don't get it. You're giving me your arm as a present? What happened to your arm?" I carefully began to unwrap the bandages, each time around I clinched in pain, until the bandages were gone. Tammy gasped as the present was unveiled to her. "Happy Birthday Tammy!" I shouted cheerfully. "Dreeve! Oh my God, why'd you do that to yourself!? Dreeve, why'd you cut yourself up like that!? Didn't that hurt?" Not the response I had expected. "It's your present." I stated simply. "It's the best one I could think of." "Oh, Dreeve! You know I don't like it when you cut yourself up like that." "I'm sorry." I began to wrap the present back up. "Don't be sorry, I mean, well it's not very healthy to cut yourself up. Something can go wrong and you can end up going to the hospital or worse!" I stopped unwrapping the bandages. "This my thanks to you for being my heart, not only that but for being my friend and putting up with me all these years. Only one woman has been so special to me that I would carve her name into me. Tammy, you deserve your own place of recognition on my flesh too." "Dreeve..." She trailed off as she gazed at the intricate detail and surprisingly neatly written work of art. "That's very nice of you. Not many guys would cut themselves up for a birthday present. Thank you so much! But promise me you won't cut yourself up anymore, ok?" "Ok." I smiled and placed my hand over my chest, an equivalent of giving her a hug. "You're the best guy a girl could ever have Dreeve." Chapter 22: 2:14 I tried... The bark was sharp and furious, it rang through the sky like a bullet. An adrenaline rush poured through me, even though I wasn't in any immediate danger. I was walking home after going to the mall to celebrate Tammy's birthday, I was going down the same path we had taken just yesterday. A loud scream was muffled by a sudden fit of barking and growling. For seconds I just stood there, my ears suddenly picking up minute sounds that moments before would have remained unnoticed. Another high-pitched scream, a feminine scream. I recognized it instantly.
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