My Artificial Heart (7)
Joshua B Ramirez

 

Someone’s there, a greenish figure, a shiny flash against a black object, it was moving roughly. I tried to get a better look, had he seen me? Was he the enemy, or one of us? Or was he a civilian, or even worse an enemy dressed up as one. So many fatal possibilities, so many odds stacked against me. Then the figure's head turned towards me, muttering something in Korean.

Green uniform, sudden movements, flashing black object in his hands, speaking Korean. He fit the profile, there was nothing else left to do. Taking aim, sights on his heart, it would be quick and easy for him, I would end both our suffering right here and now. Hold your breath, the most accurate shot you can get, and fire. The dust around me rose up like a sandstorm. I couldn't see if I hit him or not, all I heard was the loud 3 shot burst, I was the one who pulled the trigger. I ducked back into the arms of the cold earth, waiting and waiting. Hoping to hear something, or nothing, anything that would somehow tell me what had happened. Had I just killed someone? Did I miss him and now he was about to lob a grenade at me? What happened? I would give all the money in the world to know. There was only one way to find out. Peeking out of my cover like a timid ant, I surveyed the sight before me.

I got him.

I wasn't anxious to go out there and take a look at the life I had just taken. I reached for my binoculars, and scoped out the corpse, and it was no corpse! It was a woman! All my fears went out the door, if my carbine hadn't been strapped around my shoulder I would've just left it there. I ran up to her, it was as if someone had pulled her out of her home and slapped her into a soldier's uniform. She was young, and she was in agonizing pain. Her whole body shuddered in it, as she struggled to view the gushing red hole in her chest. She tried to say something in Korean but her words only came out as splashes of dark red blood. On her side a dark colored pole, not an AK-47! I thought it was a humane shot, why wasn't she dead? Why was she a she in the first place!? I was supposed to kill soldiers, men with guns who can fight back just as well. This was stupid, this was cowardly, this was wrong! I knelt down besides her, she simply stared into space, she stopped kicking and trying to speak. Her slanty eyes only letting me know how much torment she was going through. Without thinking, I gathered her up in my arms and held her close right there in the middle of that road. There was nothing else I could do but comfort her in the final moments of her life. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair at all.

She died right there in my arms, I saw what I had did up close. I witnessed the pain and suffering I had inflicted on her, I watched as her innocent life faded away.

"Murderer... I'm a murderer." I cried out, still holding her dead corpse in my arms. After that I simply sat there, on the dirt wall besides her. I had forgotten about the war, about the thousands of slanty-eyed foreigners trying to kill me. All I thought about was the girl I had just killed, the life that I had just taken away. That's when they showed up. Riding their armored tanks, with the bright white star on them. The gunner on top, looking at me as if I were a dead guy brought back to life.

"Hey, you!" The gunner said.
What would I tell them? What would I tell them? What I told them, was a lie...

Chapter 12: Coward

"Did you see that?" Trissa teased.
"No... Grandpa never did that." I turned to Trissa, she leaned on my towel rack, her long legs crossed.
"You don't believe me?" she said with a smile.
"Grandpa never did that!" I threw my arm across the air, as if to ward off her lies.
"You're only kidding yourself then."

Bravery does not belong to the good alone, the thought flashed across me like the dull glare of a knife. "You know what's one of my favorite fantasies Trissa?" Trissa came closer, putting her arms around me and pressing her hips closer to me.

"What's that Dreeve?" She whispered into my ear. I flung my switchblade open. Trissa's eyes went wide dismay. "You wouldn't hurt me Dreeve, you wouldn't!" I could almost feel her eyes go wide open. With a terrorizing scream I drove the blade deep into her stomach. I could feel everything. The blade tearing through her soft skin, through several organs, I stuck the blade in as deep as I could. I felt as her warm blood trickled down my arms. Each new attempt to drive the blade further Trissa convulsed and coughed up more blood on me. "What are you doing Dreeve!? What are you doing?" She pleaded for an answer. I was awestruck at my actions, this was murder! I was no different from my Grandpa...

I pulled the blade out, Trissa collapsed on the floor. Her delicate long hair sprawled across the bloodied tiles of my bathroom.

"No!!"

I got up gasping for air, it took minutes to catch my breath again. I looked around me, trying to recognize my surroundings. I could hear quiet dripping coming from the sink bathroom, immediately I ran over expecting to see the bloodied body of Trissa, instead I saw nothing but the stale plainness of my bathroom. I ran back into my bedroom, bits and pieces of the torn up photo were scattered across the room still. I must've fallen asleep, but how could I have fallen asleep when I was in such a rage? Was I really hallucinating? What the hell was all that about?

"Trissa." I dashed over to the phone. Dialing up the phone number of Trissa, I had gotten her phone number from watching her write it down in someone's yearbook. I had the number down by heart, I dialed the number without even thinking. I had to check to see if Trissa was all right. It was the only way to prove that I was just hallucinating. The phone rang, I waited anxiously. Hoping that whatever it was I had just gone through was just a dream and nothing else. Trissa picked up the phone, she spoke groggily.

"H-hello?" I looked outside the window to see the morning light just barely breaking over the horizon, glancing over to the clock I panicked. 5:17AM.
"Is that you Trissa?"
"This is her, who's this?" I laughed suddenly.
"Thank God, you're ok!" I really was thankful.
"Dreeve? Dreeve Rytl is that you?" I was in trouble now.
"Um, yeah. Hi, just calling to make sure you're ok."
"How did you get my number?" she demanded, she was jolted awake by her anger.
"I, um, I gotta go."
"Why the hell are you calling me!? Its 5 in the morning what the hell were you thinking!"
"I-I'm sorry, I won't call again. I promise."
"Oh, I know you won't. I'm going to call the cops right now you sick son of a bitch!"
"I'm sorry Trissa, I was just so worried and-"
"Don't you give me that crap! I'm going to make sure you get locked away for good! God, I hate you!"
"I'm sorry Trissa, I gotta hang up now." I slammed the phone down.

Despite her reaction I was glad to hear her talking, breathing, cussing me out again. All signs that Trissa was all right. That Trissa that I saw wasn't the Trissa I knew, Trissa would never talk like that. She would never try to seduce me in my bathroom wearing nothing but her underwear either. I must've been really going crazy, I was going through withdrawal. I didn't know how long I could last like this.

"Not very long!" I turned around, Trissa stood there before me a huge gap in her stomach.

Can't breathe!

Chapter 13: Blasphemy

I tore my house apart. Trissa's face was everywhere, staring back at me. Telling me to do bad things, telling me I was no good, giving me detailed explanations of how the world would be better off without me. Every picture I had of her, which was literally thousands, everyone one of them talking to me, all at the same time. Thousands of voices, thousands of painful gut wrenching words. Scolding me for existing and damning me to hell. I ran up to my bedroom wall and tried ripping off the pictures. With a loud grunt I tore off a large poster of Trissa and ripped it to pieces.

"Over here!" I turned around, Trissa was now on the opposite wall, hiding inside one of those pictures. I threw myself on the wall and scraped down more pictures.

Giggling, coming from inside the shrine!

"Tray is so cute!" I ran for the shrine.
"Tray's not cute! Trissa don't say that!" My voice crackled, tired from screaming. I dashed into the altar. Trissa was there, wrapped around Tray's arms! "You!" I unsheathed my switchblade. "I'll kill you, you bastard!!" Tray threw Trissa, she crashed knocking over the still lit candles that were stacked on the safe.

"Come on you pussy!" Tray called out. The altar began to catch fire. "Bring it on!"

"I will be in that play you fuckin' asshole! I will be in that play and I'll say my line, and Trissa will like me and we will live together for the rest of our lives!" I gripped my weapon by the blade, and with insane energy hurled it at my enemy. He laughed as the blade simply passed through him like myst. There was painful thud, and a weary moan. Trissa!

Tray dissapeared. I could see Trissa lying their, the switchblade barried deep in her chest. She held out a hand to me. "Damn you Tray!" The fire was spreading, if I didn't do something now Trissa would be burned alive. My altar, my home, everything was being destroyed! I dashed over to Trissa, and put her arm around my shoulders. With a strained grunt I lifted her up in my arms.

"I'll get you outta here Trissa! I won't let you burn! I won't let you burn!" I walked out of the shrine room, passed my bedroom, the door leading out was in sight. "We'll make it out Trissa!" I ran as fast as I could. I slammed my back into the door, but it wouldn't budge! I tried again, this time getting some momentum before hurling myself at it. No luck.

"Trissa I'm going to have to put you down for just a sec, ok?"

"Uh.." Trissa's eyes were barely open. Carefully I laid her back on the floor. The fire was scorching my bed, pictures of Trissa flew about everywhere. With a quick slam I had the door open.

"Got it!" I turned around to pick up Trissa, instead I only picked up air.

"Trissa!?" Laughing, I could hear laughing. Coming from somewhere inside, somewhere back inside the blossoming inferno. Where was Trissa? I staggered into my bedroom, not there. My back plastered against the wall, I carefully entered into the bathroom, nothing. I leaped over a tall flame, my shoe caught fire and I had to snuff it out by slamming my foot into the wall. Smoke was everywhere now, it was getting harder and harder to breathe. But Trissa was in there somewhere! More laughing, coming from the shrine! But the shrine was completely ablaze! How could anyone be inside there and still live? Ignoring the flames that picked away at my flesh I pummled my way through to the door.

"Tray!" He held Trissa in his arms, together they stood their, leaning on the safe while the flames slowly incenerated them both alive. "Tray you idiot!"

"She's mine, Dreeve." Tray smiled. Trissa turned around to look at me.

"Don't feel so bad Dreeve, we'll all be dead very soon now."

"TRISSA!" The house was collapsing on top of me. I held my hand out to Trissa, hoping, thinking there was still a way to save her. My hopes were dash to pieces as the shrine room's ceiling collapsed on the two lovers. Their screams echoed in my ears. No more, I couldn't take any more of it. I navigated blindly through my ruined home. The moment I left the bedroom it too came crashing down. I threw myself out the door and rolled out into the lawn. I was on my feet instantly, I quickly patted out a flame that danced along my sleeve. When I looked back my home was a pile of burning ash.

I needed help. I needed help really bad.

Chapter 14: The Coordinate Plain

My home was ash. The night still lingered on in eternity. I was homeless. It took 2 weeks to put out the flames, I had to run to the Green River. Each time scooping up a handful of water and then runing back to my burning home and throwing it onto the thirsty flames. At one point a woman in black came up to me.

"What are you doing?" She ventured.
I threw the handful of water onto the flames. "I'm trying to put out the fire!"
"Oh, I see." I began my run to the Green River. "Hey, where you going? The fire is right here."
"I need to get more water. More water to put out the fire." The woman rubbed her chin.
"Here, I will help you." I stopped in my tracks and turned to her.
"But.. you're a woman. You're supposed to scream and run away from me."
She shook her head. "No, it's settled. I'm going to help you."
"How will you help me?" I wondered.
"I will invent irrigation, while you invent water pressure. We're going to need more than handfulls of water to put out this fire." I nodded.

So the woman in black got to work, she began to study the Green River, and soon she had built a network of ditches to lead to my burning home.

 

 

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Copyright © 2002 Joshua B Ramirez
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"