Three Strikes, But Not Quite Out (4)
LYNN: Hey, just because we decided not to rent your place does not mean you can personally attack us! KATRINA: Oh look who is talking? Smarty pants Lynn. Here is what I have to say about your other films on YouTube. They are so retarded, sun-faced pipsqueak. You will never be famous (Roy gets angry). BETHANY: (Beth wraps her arm around Lynn and pulls him close) Do not talk to my baby like that! KATRINA: Aw, Lynn is such a shitty ass infant that he still needs protection from his bitchy mama. You are the oddest couple ever. Maybe that is why you are so desperate for friends since no one likes you. LYNN: All right that is it! (Beth lets go of him) You know what I cannot tolerate? Jerks like you bitching around over something that is not such a big deal and for your information, Beth and I work very hard to get to where we are today and will keep doing so to reach our goals of being a worldwide supermodel and filmmaker, so you think twice before saying shit about us that should be coming out of your fat chocolate ass, not your ugly mouth! (Katrina hits him in the face without warning) BETHANY: How dare you hit my sunshine! (Katrina pushes Beth and she falls onto the right-most small sofa) KATRINA: Not so big now, are you Beth? (Katrina laughs before Lynn tries to hit her, but she grabs his right arm, hits him in the back of the head, and throws him onto the long couch. Beth gets off the small sofa, puts Katrina’s hands behind her back, and pins her facedown on the table and she screams) BETHANY: Now do you think I am not so large? (Lynn gets up from the sofa and holds Katrina’s legs down) KATRINA: No, no, you are huge and strong! (She struggles to break free as Beth’s grip on her gets tighter) BETHANY: Good since Lynn and I are going to inflict more pain on you if you do not cancel our agreement! KATRINA: (Weakly) Okay, okay, the tenant contract is nullified, but I am keeping the initial deposit. BETHANY: (Beth and Lynn look at each other briefly and nod before the latter takes the contract from the table and tears it in half) Fine keep the stinkin’ $500, but never come back here again. LYNN: And you can consider our memberships in your fan club cancelled after what you just did to us. KATRINA: All right, all right, I will do whatever you want! Just please let me go! You are killing me Beth! (Lynn goes to the front door, opens it, and holds its knob. Beth pulls Katrina up from the table and pushes her toward stage left. She walks to the front door before turning to Beth) I hope you were not really serious about canceling your memberships. I can still make you laugh. (Lynn angrily slams the door shut in front of Katrina’s face and locks it entirely. He leans on it taking a few deep breaths while he and Beth look at each other in complete surprise) BETHANY: Lynn, I have never seen you that verbally or physically aggressive before. Lynn: And I have never, ever seen you threaten someone like that Beth. BETHANY: Well can you blame me? I cannot believe Katrina could be such a mean and demanding asshole. LYNN: Me too, never have I used that much profanity in a single statement. BETHANY: And I never had to pin someone down ready to strangle them if they did not give me what I want. LYNN: (He twitches his upper body while taking a few steps away from the door) I know. Who would have thought someone who is really funny and sweet on the outside could be so selfish and obnoxious on the inside? It makes me wonder if all aspiring superstars are like this. BETHANY: I hope not, but am glad we have resolved our troubles for good and everything is back to normal. LYNN: Yes, I will not mess with a celebrity until I go to Hollywood (looking unhappy), but everything is not normal. Katrina still has the deposit and $500 is a lot for those who struggle to survive like us. BETHANY: Oh really? (Beth smiles as she takes out the check Katrina had from inside her dress between her breasts. Lynn gasps in surprise and joy before running up to Beth and they spin around in a hug) LYNN: My god, how did you get that from Katrina?!?! BETHANY: I stuck my hands into her pocket and took it while lifting her off the table and pushing her away. LYNN: Oh, you are the best. I love you!!! (Lynn kisses Beth’s upper chest and chin until she starts to talk) BETHANY: Some tenants in this building told me recently that the rent here is going up real soon. Is that true? LYNN: Yeah, but Mr. Mendoza told me earlier that he will do his best to not make it a burden to anyone. BETHANY: Good. Look Lynn, I am sorry for all the problems I have caused. I should have thought about our financial status and discussed everything with you first before making a few nonsensical choices involving money (while talking, Beth rips the check in half, takes the torn contract from the table, walks to the garbage bin near the kitchen counter, tosses the pieces inside and goes back to Roy). LYNN: You definitely should have. I was completely surprised you would make such ignorant decisions. BETHANY: I think I got carried away because I really wanted to help Cindy make some much-needed money and your dream vacation a reality while hearing more of Katrina’s funny rants. I am such an idiot. LYNN: No, you have a strong mind and heart. You just did not take the time to think about these choices. BETHANY: Thank you and I swear next time I have to make decisions like these, I will not be so bossy about them. (Beth and Lynn hug and kiss, but he pulls away after 25 seconds) What is wrong precious? LYNN: Everything that happened this evening reminded me that our financial issues are getting worse by the day and we can be in serious trouble if we do not find a way to make more revenue real soon. BETHANY: That is true, but I am sure everything will be okay honey (she puts her hands softly on his face). LYNN: I hope. It is annoying that the price of almost everything keeps rising, including going to college. Perhaps I should just drop out and find a job so that I can make some type of income to help you. BETHANY: Are you crazy!? You cannot do that!! You only have two semesters left before you graduate hun! LYNN: But college just gets more expensive. CUNY tuition increased three times since I started in 2007. BETHANY: And it will continue to go up, so it is best if you complete your education now. Besides, you have very little work experience, so most agencies will not even hire you at this time, and need at least a bachelor’s degree if you want to make big name movies. Please do not consider quitting school. LYNN: Okay, I wonder how some celebrities or CEOs can be famous or successful without an education. BETHANY: Their talents were likely discovered or they knew what they wanted to do for a career at a young age. Some actors had been acting since they were kids and might have taken extra training just to improve their skills, which often costs more than college. A friend of mine who is your age is the creator of a law firm that has gradually become popular over the last year, as he had always been interested in law since 5th grade, but you only began studying film two years ago and are learning it very fast and well, but definitely need more knowledge before your work can hit the big screen. LYNN: (Sigh) You are right, but what do you suppose we do then? I doubt you will be promoted anytime soon and all of our parents have pushed back their retirement dates twice since 2008 and it is just a matter of time before they will be unable to work anymore and become dependent on us to live. (Beth looks at the case carrying Duncan and Krissy with a facial expression of regret and he, knowing what she is thinking of doing, upsettingly breaks down in tears immediately) Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! You cannot give Duncan and Krissy away! They mean the world to us! BETHANY: We do not have much choice. They may be worth a lot because my great grandparents handmade Duncan themselves while the company that made Krissy ceased operation well over 15 years ago. LYNN: Who would buy a homemade garden gnome or very old-fashioned doll for a large sum of money? BETHANY: We will never know unless we try to find someone who would (she hugs Lynn as he starts to cry). LYNN: Why are we even discussing this Beth? Due to their long histories within our families, there is no way we can pawn or sell Duncan and Krissy. They will kill us if they find out we got rid of them. BETHANY: I know they will understand as they recently have sold several of their old things for a paltry cash amount. We must put our past behind and that includes letting go of things that remind us of that. LYNN: (Sobbing) Are you trying to end our relationship Beth? BETHANY: (She lets go of Lynn) What? Of course not, what would you ask that? LYNN: You said to put our leave behind. Does that not include the night Duncan and Krissy met in 2009, the warm spring night they bought us together and made us realize we were meant for each other? BETHANY: Did you actually believe that Duncan and Krissy were the only reasons we are together now Roy? LYNN: Well yeah. I can’t imagine what would have happened if you did not show Duncan to me and put him with Krissy. I have a huge feeling that your real intention that night was to break up with me. BETHANY: To be honest, yes. (Beth starts to cry too) I was going to use Duncan and Krissy to show you that relationships with unusual circumstances do not work out, but when you blurted about your poor dating experiences due to your immature personality and preferences for big, tall women like me, it bought back painful relationship memories for me and I knew leaving you would be the wrong choice as the odds of you finding a woman like me and me finding a guy larger than me are slim. LYNN: Then why do you want to give away the bond that is keeping us as one for something like money? BETHANY: They bought us closer, but are not keeping us together. Our feelings for each other are. You love me because I know how to take care of you and am perfectly your type being that I am really tall, big and strong. I love you for being caring, passionate and creative with the things you love to do and fun to cuddle. Besides, you are making yourself look like a huge fool by holding onto Krissy. LYNN: You think Krissy is keeping me back and making me look stupid? Why? BETHANY: Grown men do not carry old dolls in their arms like little girls. When you did that to Krissy, you were a pathetic eyesore to others. Every time we went out together, people laughed at you behind our backs. You were too worried about Krissy to notice this, but I did and it was so embarrassing. I knew I could not get rid of your attachment to the doll, so I did the next best thing and that was to assure you that if you wanted to keep her safe, we should place it inside the glass case with my gnome (she points at the case). It was a win-win for the both of us since Krissy looks the same as she did two years ago, having shown no signs of wear and tear, and you have highly matured as a human being. Sure you are a bit short-tempered and get annoyed easily, but I would rather marry someone like that than someone who acts like he still needs his mother to survive. Even though it was not nice, Katrina honestly had a point when she called you a baby who will never succeed in life. Letting go of Krissy is the only way you can start to climb up the ladder to your goals. There are many little girls out there who want a doll like Krissy and we can make one of their dreams a reality. Did you ask your family why they cherish Krissy so much? You never told me about that. LYNN: Uh, no I never did (Beth makes an annoyed grunt). I did not think it was such a big deal. BETHANY: Can you ask them that whenever you get the chance? I know once you find out why they did not want to get rid of Krissy, you can think of a way to convince them that it is time to let her go like showing them your maturity without her. I will come with you if you are too afraid to do it alone. LYNN: (Sniffing) Okay, but how will you get your family to give Duncan away? BETHANY: I am certain there are many gardeners out there who thrive to have a gnome in their home. When I locate one, I can come up with something to persuade my parents to give Duncan to him or her. To tell you the truth, I am tired of always cleaning and repainting Duncan and think that hanging onto him is why I have been messing things up and acting a lot like my great grandparents lately. LYNN: Um, can you explain the last thing you just said? BETHANY: I am sure you noticed I have been more demanding and unintelligent over the last year or so right? LYNN: Well yeah, I mean we had three strikes in one hour today. I am so glad we are not out Beth. BETHANY: Funny, but anyway my great grandmother was a complete idiot. She made choices that had long-term impacts on her and my great grandfather without considering them thoroughly. In fact, there were almost the same ones you discovered today, hiring a personal cleaner, borrowing a big sum of money from a neighbor without paying back, and taking over ownership of a local community garden after the previous owner died. These decisions negatively affected my great grandparents’ lifestyle as they now had more responsibilities, but less cash. That is why they could not continue their gnome-making business after the 1938 hurricane destroyed everything they had. While they worked to get their lives back together, my great grandfather got so mad with his wife’s stupidity, he screamed at her every time she made a mistake and treated her like a bad daughter, not a wife. LYNN: Oh wow, so history is repeating itself for you. I hope he did not physically abuse her or anything. BETHANY: Thankfully, no. He just called her degrading names like "dumbass" or "stupid fool" and punished her like how a parent punishes a child by taking away her favorite items or making her stay home for an extended amount of time, but now do you get why giving away Duncan would benefit me? LYNN: Yeah, he and Krissy are why you and I act the way we do and oddly enough were going to break us up tonight had we not work together to get rid of Katrina and resolve all our strikes. It is deja vu for us since they could have actually separated us that night they bought us together if we did not express our feelings for each other. It is like they have magical powers or something, strange. BETHANY: Right and if we hold onto them any longer, our relationship will be over before you know it Lynn. LYNN: Okay then, I will talk to my family about Krissy (Beth hugs him and kisses his forehead and face before he gets woozy and is about to fall to the floor, but Beth kneels and keeps him in her arms). BETHANY: (Panicking slightly) Oh my gosh babe, are you okay? LYNN: (Weakly) I think all those hits to my head Cindy and Katrina made are making me dizzy. BETHANY: Crap, you need to lie down. This has been a long evening. I guess we will snuggle early tonight. LYNN: Shouldn't we take a shower or bath first? We went through a lot today and I feel dirty right now. BETHANY: Oh right, not to mention I smell (Lynn smiles). Do you need me to carry you to the bathroom? LYNN: No, I am okay, just hold onto me as we go (Beth puts her right arm under Lynn’s right underarm and holds his left arm with her left hand. They slowly walk to the second left-most door on stage). BETHANY: (They both take off their shoes by the long couch’s left side) Hey, where are you pajamas? LYNN: They are already in the bathroom (he and Beth resume walking). I put them there before we went to the festival since I was planning to shower as soon as we came back. Do you need to get yours? BETHANY: No, we are going to snuggle in bed right after we finish cleaning up. (Beth and Lynn reach the door as the former opens it. They slowly go inside and the door shuts. Seconds later, the low sound of running water and Beth’s offstage voice are heard) I will be right back. You just lie on the tub and relax. Take this and have a bubble bath if you like. (The door opens and Beth comes out, closes it and walks to the coffee table. She takes the items from the floor that fell off during the fight with Katrina and places them back on the table. She goes to the kitchen and takes Lynn’s china cup and plate from the counter. She then goes to the sink, spills the cup’s contents and turns on the faucet. Running water can be heard while she cleans the cup and plate. 20 seconds later, she turns off the faucet and places the cup and plate on an adjacent container. Beth then takes a paper towel from the hanging rack to dry her hands and throws it in the garbage bin. After that, she goes to the phone on the counter, picks it up, and puts it by her right ear after pressing on the keypad) Hi, this is Bethany Ginzburg. I came in last week with an old garden gnome to discuss how much it may be worth to sell it to you. (Pause) I am good thanks. (Pause and begins to cry) Yes, I want to go through with the deal. (Pause) Fine, I will be there. Hey can I bring my boyfriend’s old doll also? We are considering selling that and want to know how much you will take it for (pause)? It is 1 ½ feet tall and made by Satin Lace in 1976. (Pause) Okay thank you. I will see you then, bye. (Beth hangs up the phone, goes to where Duncan and Krissy are, takes off their case, and puts it on the floor. She leans over and hugs both figures before putting the case back on) Duncan and Krissy, I am so sorry I have to do this, but Lynn and I are completely out of options. I know you will bring us a lot of revenue and your new owners will take good care of you. I love you so much and you will always be in Roy’s and my hearts. I will never forget the day we did… LYNN: (Loudly offstage, interrupting Beth) What in the world is taking you so long Beth!? BETHANY: I am coming my love!! (She removes her dress by unzipping the back zipper and taking her arms off both shoulder straps. She goes to the bathroom door and opens it after smiling and looking at Duncan and Krissy one more time. Beth flicks the adjacent light switch and DIM OUT before she goes inside the door while taking off her jewelry and panties so that she is now nude and shuts it)
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