Grease (4)
They stare at each other. ext – petrol station – night ANOTHER ANGLE BARRY has decided to have a look around. He walks towards the CASHIER’S WINDOW, and peers inside. There is a little shop inside the main building, selling sweats and magazines. BARRYS POV he scans the magazines, his eyes coming to rest on the top shelf pornography. BACK TO SCENE BARRY (shouts to the others) I’m just going to get some . . . supplies. After checking they’ve seen him, he heads through the doors and into the shop. int – SHOP – NIGHT Music is still playing in the shop, a soft BEATLES song. BARRY hums to it as he walks towards the magazine section. He looks shifty, exactly like any man who’s ever brought porn in his life. After checking he’s not being watched, he takes a quick glance at the top shelf, and decides on a magazine he likes the look of. Quick as a flash hes picked a copy of BIG AND HORNY from the shelf, and is flicking through it, sniggering to himself. cut to: ext – petrol station – night COLIN has finished filling the VAN up, and he puts the PUMP back into place. He glances over at the shop, and see’s BARRY flicking through a magazine. As he’s standing watching, PAULINE comes up behind him. CLOSE ON PAULINE’S HAND as it clamps onto his bottom. BACK TO SCENE PAULINE is close enough to whisper in his ear now, and COLIN stands stock still, terrified. PAULINE (whispers) I’ve always liked you, Colin. You’re so much more manly than my husband. COLIN jumps away, putting some distance between the two of them. COLIN Ah . . . yeah. Can we not, please? PAULINE What’s wrong? Don’t you like me? She begins to run her hand over her expansive chest and huge stomach. COLIN is losing the colour in his face. cut to: INT – SHOP – NIGHT BARRY is transfixed, his eyes glued to the images in the magazine. He reaches up for another, when he hears the sound of something behind him, and stops dead. girl’s voice Put that fucking magazine down, you dirty, dirty bastard. BARRY drops the magazine to the floor, and turns around slowly. Coming face to face with a GIRL, who just happens to be holding a BROOM, and getting ready to swing it directly at his head. BARRY (to himself) Oh shit . . . cut to: ext – petrol station – night PAULINE steps closer to COLIN, lust in her eyes. PAULINE Come on, Colin. Who’s to know? He’s in there reading his porn; we’re out here in the cold. Let’s do something to warm us up. COLIN Well, you know, I would, but, I’ve . . . erm, I’ve got a bad leg. PAULINE Let me rub it better. COLIN No, it’s fine. PAULINE Come on, just a little rub. I’m a woman, Colin, I have womanly needs. Take me! She jumps at him, grabbing him with a pair of sweaty, fat hands, and dragging him to the ground. He WHIMPERS. CUT TO: INT – SHOP – NIGHT The GIRL doesn’t drop the BROOM, doesn’t move it an inch. BARRY (quickly, garbled) I can explain. I was just passing, and I came in here for a magazine, something for the journey, when my hand slipped to the . . . to the top shelf. He laughs nervously. The GIRL steps around the counter, headed towards him. She’s young, in her late teens, and beautiful. Long black hair, slim, with a pair of perfect, sparkling blue eyes. Eyes which are now looking directly at a pervert. GIRL And you’ve taken petrol, I see. BARRY Not a lot. GIRL We’re you planning on paying? BARRY Well, to be honest, I wasn’t planning on having a broom pushed in me face but, now that you mention it . . . GIRL Have you seen any of those . . . things? BARRY No. From outside, the sounds of SCREAMING can be heard. GIRL (terrified) That’s them now! barry Nah, it’s alright. It’s just the wife trying to rape me best mate. She does it to a lot of men. Says I don’t satisfy her, you know, sexually. Which is bollocks. I gave her six of my best seconds, eight months ago. girl Look I can’t be arsed to care. Take what you need, but I want some kind of money. BARRY Right. cut to: ext – petrol station – night COLIN and PAULINE are wrestling on the forecourt. COLIN Leave me alone! PAULINE One kiss! Just one, with tongues! Come on, you lovely, lovely, lovely fucker. cut to: int – shop – night BARRY Money. That might be a problem. I haven’t got a penny on me, love. The GIRL looks outside. GIRL Shouldn’t you go back to the wife? She may kill that man. BARRY Colin’s tough as nails, love. He’s more than a match for the wife. CAMERA PANS TO A SHOT OF COLIN being thrown through the air, landing on the VAN, and sliding to the floor. As soon as he lands, PAULINE is on top of him, banging his hand onto the pavement. BACK TO SCENE BARRY See? girl Where are you headed? BARRY No idea, sadly. To be truthful, you’re the first living person we’ve seen in, well, all night. GIRL Really? The manager said he was going to ring at nine, what time is it? BARRY God knows. I’d say later than nine. More SCREAMS from outside. BARRY Look, why don’t you come with us? CAMERA PANS TO A SHOT OF PAULINE picking COLIN up and running him into a PETROL PUMP. BACK TO SCENE BARRY You could be here, all night. There’s a lot of fucking zombies out there, and I’d hate to think I’d left such a . . . pretty little thing here all on her own. girl Cut the shit, fatty. Just because the world’s gone all to fuck, doesn’t mean I’m going to shag you. barry A feisty one. I like it. (beat) Ok, come with us and let me have the porn mag? She thinks about it. GIRL Deal. My name’s Layla. It’s Spanish. BARRY My name’s Barry. It’s shit. cut to: ext – petrol station – night BARRY and LEYLA exit the SHOP, each carrying bags full of sweats, chocolate and crisps. PAULINE and COLIN are still wrestling on the floor. COLIN has given up completely, and is now laid on his back, as PAULINE tries to pull his trousers off. BARRY clears his throat. barry Erm, suger plumb? PAULINE jumps off the stricken COLIN, straightening out her now open DRESSING GOWN. She stares at LAYLA with contempt. pauline Who’s the girl, Barry? I can’t leave you alone for five fucking minutes, can I? BARRY Her names Layla. She’s coming with us. PAULINE But, there’s no room! Colin’s in the back of the van. (beat) No, I’m sorry, she can’t come with us. Besides, she’ll be a burden on petrol. BARRY What? She’s about eight stone! How heavy are you? Nineteen at last weigh-in, as I recall. PAULINE’S eyes widen in horror, and she’s too shocked to speak. LEYLA helps COLIN to his feet. Through the mist of pain, he sees her. Instant love. BARRY hands PAULINE his bag of goodies, which she snatches from him without a second’s thought. BARRY She’s coming with us. Eat them and shut it. cut to: ext – motorway – night The VAN speeds along a deserted motorway, leaving the city behind them. INT – VAN – NIGHT PAULINE is asleep, and she’s SNORING loudly in the passenger seat. COLIN is driving now, but he keeps turning back to look at the lovely form of LEYLA, who is sat in the back, next to the not so lovely form of BARRY. LEYLA Where are we going? BARRY It’s like I said back there, babe, we don’t know. LEYLA. Right. (pause) One thing, though. BARRY What? LEYLA Don’t call me, babe. COLIN Hey, that’s the name of a film. Pam Anderson gets her tits out in that. LEYLA Is that the only reason you remember it? COLIN Pretty much yeah. Pause. BARRY I guess we could head out to the country. I mean, how many people are there in the country? Less chance there might be zombies there. We could find a farm house, or something. COLIN Baz, you’ve been watching too many films. How many fucking farm houses do you think there are in the countryside? And, even if there was loads, how many do you think would be empty? (beat) Nope, we’re fucked. Pure and simple. And every place we go, it’ll be the same. I told you this plague was serious, didn’t I? Outside, THUNDER booms. Rain begins to lash down at the windscreen. barry And now it’s raining. Can tonight get much worse? colin Yeah, Pauline might wake up. ext – motorway – night There’s a large ROAD BLOCK, which is erected in the middle of the road. There’s nothing else for miles, just countryside which spreads as far as they eye can see. Rain lashes down. In the distance, we can see the VAN approaching. INT – VAN – NIGHT COLIN wipes the steam from the windscreen, and squints through it. The rain is making visibility almost nill now. COLIN Is that a road block? The others peer out. BARRY A road block? We’re miles from anywhere, mate. There won’t be a road block here. What are they blocking, a mass exodus of zombie sheep? Next to him, LEYLA breaks into LAUGHTER. He smiles. She must really, really like him. He smiles some more, boyishly. COLIN I don’t know what they’re blocking, mate, but there’s a block. Looks like a professional one, as well. LEYLA The army! Maybe it’s the army. They’ve come to wipe the zombie scum out. BARRY Pull over, Col, let’s go and have a look. COLIN Righto. ext – ROAD BLOCK – NIGHT The ROAD BLOCK is a series of metal plates, bolted together to form a gate which can be opened and closed across the MOTORWAY. It’s high enough to make climbing it difficult, and hard enough that driving into it wouldn’t be a wise idea. The VAN slows down, and stops a few feet from it. Rain slashes down. EXT – ROAD BLOCK – NIGHT ANOTHER ANGLE COLIN climbs from the VAN, shielding his eyes from the rain. BARRY and LEYLA follow, climbing over the driver’s seat, so as not to wake PAULINE. Within minutes, all three are soaked through to the skin. They walk up the ROAD BLOCK, trying to figure a way around it. barry It looks like an army job, Col. They’ve even painted it green, and that’s a big give-away, as you know, being an ex soldier. COLIN Yeah. We used to paint everything green. LEYLA (suddenly interested) Cool! You were a solider? COLIN Yep. Ten years in the army. LEYLA (smiling) I think soldiers are dead sexy. Did you ever kill any one? COLIN No. I was in the painting section. BARRY You painted things green, didn’t you, Col? COLIN Yep. LEYLA shakes her head. barry I’ll give them their due, Col, they don’t muck about. How the hell are we going to get around this big fucker? colin Well, that’s the point of them, ain’t it? You’re not sposed to. LEYLA Couldn’t we pull it open? Use a bar or something? (she points to GATE) Look, there’s a gap there. If we could bend it, we could open up a hole big enough to slip through and see what’s on the other side. She stands smiling, as they stare at her. LEYLA What? You’re not the only one’s who watch’s films, you know. EXT – ROAD BLOCK – NIGHT LATER BARRY and COLIN have both got IRON BARS, which they have pushed into the gap in the GATE. They’re pushing with all their might, but the steel of the ROAD BLOCK won’t move. barry It’s useless! It’s not moving an inch. leyla
Copyright © 2002 Mark Timothy Dickson |