Shillelagh (2) Getting there. JEAN Not fast enough, I'll bet. JIM So if you're so rich... what are you doing in this section of town? JEAN O'Connor's is the only decent restaurant in town. As for my being here, let's just say my friends have a notion... every now and then...to mingle with the working class. JIM So why are you here talking to me? JEAN I need a man who's secure with himself. Someone who isn't afraid of life. You look the type. JIM Thanks for that. But why the brisk come-on? JEAN It's exciting to see how a man responds. JIM Not very decent. JEAN Few things are these days. Listen, if you want a place to stay tonight... JIM A place to sleep, you mean. JEAN It's a package deal. JIM I don't think so. I'm finally straightening out some things about money and what it does to people. JEAN What does that mean? JIM People with money have no right to treat other people like dirt. JEAN A hundred men would jump at the chance to sleep with ... JIM You? ... or what your money's made you? (A moment of recognition for both, then Jean slaps Jim's face. She rises and rejoins her group.) PAT (coming over quickly) What happened? JIM She made me an offer I couldn't refuse. PAT (pats his shoulder) I'm proud of you, man. There aren't a lot of guys who would pass up an opportunity like that. JIM Speaking of opportunities, what've you been up to over there? PAT Just checking into some things. That sale I mentioned was for the shillelagh. JIM You sold it? PAT Five thousand dollars worth. JIM What? PAT You heard me. That was the price this old man offered for it. JIM He's gotta be senile! Nobody offers that kind of money for a simple stick. PAT Maybe it's not so simple. JIM No more blarney, tonight...I can't handle it. PAT I suppose you think Saint Patrick didn't exist either? JIM He lived in Ireland. That's all I know. PAT Well, he wasn't from Ireland. His real name was Succat and he lived in southwestern Britain until he was sixteen years old. Then, Irish marauders carried him off into captivity for six years. He spent the time tending sheep in County Cannaught near the mountain Slemish. After seeing a number of visions urging him to escape, he finally did one night. JIM Where'd he go? PAT Northern coast of France, but you're getting ahead. The night he left, several guards were standing watch on a boat anchored along the coast. He didn't know how he was going to stow away on board without them seeing him. JIM They would have discovered him later anyway. PAT Maybe. But he had another vision to take a big, wooden stick and break it in half. Half, he used to build a scarecrow. On the mountainside, it looked like he was still watching the sheep. The other half he used to sail past the boat. JIM So where's the shillelagh come in? PAT He used the same piece of stick that he eluded them with for a walking cane. Later, it came in handy to drive all the snakes out of Ireland. JIM Now that's a story! PAT Believe what you want, but the legend goes that St. Patrick never forgot the stick's help and he often grants wishes through a shillelagh. JIM Oh, come on now! Who do you think believes something like that? PAT Evidently the old man does. He's willing to pay five thousand dollars. JIM It's ridiculous. PAT Old legends never die. JIM Well, maybe this one should. PAT And leave us penniless? JIM Well, maybe it could keep breathing until after the check's cashed. FADE TO: INT. The apartment is darkened. Through a window a shadow can be seen moving toward the door. Scuffling sounds of a lock being jimmied are heard, then a figure snaps on a flashlight. The robber has returned, playing the beam around the apartment, then rests the light on the closet. ROBBER Seems like a logical place to hide it. Can't spend too much time looking for the money. Cops are bound to be here soon. (He opens the closet door and, being too short, looks around for a chair to reach the top shelf. Grabs one of the kitchen chairs, then returns to closet.) ROBBER It's always on the top shelf...(feels something slippery and jumps back, falling from his perch) What was that? Felt like a snake! (At that moment, sounds of singing drift in from off the street. Glancing at the door, he manages to replace the chair at the kitchen table and close the closet door before shadows move across the window. Seeking a place to hide, he finds the bathroom and vanishes inside as a key turns in the lock.) PAT (snaps on a light, singing) When Irish eyes are smilin'... (He finishes off a verse by himself, then Jim joins in on the chorus.) PAT (clasps Jim's shoulders) That's my partner! I'll make an Irishman of you yet! JIM Irish from English? Don't be ridiculous! It'd be easier to drive all the snakes from Erin's fair shores. PAT Ah, not so hearty! 'Twas done once before, you know. We still have remembrances from his visit. JIM Like what? PAT (reaches into the closet and tosses the snake at Jim) Like this! JIM Very funny! (trips over the shillelagh sticking out from under the couch) Why don't you learn to put things away? PAT Sorry, I completely forgot about it. (takes the stick) I'll put it in the closet on the top shelf. It won't bother anyone there. (He puts the shillelagh on the top shelf, then heads for the bathroom. He stops as the phone rings.) JIM Hello? (listens intently for several seconds) I understand. We'll check around outside. Thanks for calling! (As he hangs up, Pat eyes him carefully. A look of fear passes over Jim's features and is swiftly replaced by determination.) PAT What's up? JIM Sergeant at the cop shop. He said the man captured last night in the alley is loose again. They're not sure, but he might be in the area. Someone phoned in an anonymous tip. PAT Nothing to worry about then. Just lock up like you said. JIM (quietly) I'm not so sure. Said there was Irish music playing in the background. PAT Guess we'd better tell Mrs. Peabody, in case she hasn't heard. JIM Why don't you go? I'll check everything in the apartment. Make sure nothing's missing so far. PAT Be right back! (Pat leaves. Jim stands unsteadily, then heads for the bathroom. Before he reaches the door, the robber appears and levels a gun at him.) ROBBER Value your life? Better stay calm. JIM What do you want? ROBBER (motions for Jim to be seated) Good act, kid. I want the money. Where'd you hide it? JIM I don't know anything about money. Except you need it at tax time. ROBBER Consider me an early collector on returns then. JIM (beginning to sweat) I don't have it. ROBBER Not a very convincing performance. Maybe your partner knows? JIM Pat has no idea... I mean, I had it, but I threw it back out in the trash where you left it. ROBBER Why don't I believe you? JIM Go on out and see for yourself. When I heard you were loose, I figured you'd be back for it, so I just heaved it back outside. It's there, ... go on, see for yourself! ROBBER (menacingly) If it isn't there... you're gonna take its place for pickup! (The robber heads out into the alley. Jim starts searching frantically for a hiding place.) JIM What am I gonna do? (Pat enters, startling Jim.) PAT What are you doing? JIM The robber's here! PAT Is he armed? JIM Yes. PAT What's he doing here? JIM He wants his money. Said if he didn't find it, I'm a dead man. PAT Have you got the money? JIM Yeah. It's in the closet. PAT Just give it back. JIM It's a fortune, buddy. We'd be set for life. PAT Which could be rather short if he doesn't get it back. (Pat rushes to the closet and pulls the shillelagh from the top shelf.) JIM What good will that do against bullets? PAT Maybe stop them from being fired. (grasps the stick and closes his eyes tightly) I wish we get out of this safely! JIM And just like that... it's gonna work? (The sound of the front door handle draws their attention as it turns.) JIM He's back! PAT Take it easy, man. (Both men are relieved as Mrs. Peabody enters.) MRS. PEABODY Hello, boys, ... it's me! (Pat grabs her and slams the door behind her.) MRS. PEABODY Goodness, Pat...you look frightened out of your wits. JIM He is and so am I. PAT Mrs. Peabody, did you see the robber out there? MRS. PEABODY What does he look like? JIM Short, very dangerous. MRS. PEABODY Must have been that little man who asked me about the garbage. I told him we just had a pickup not more than ten minutes ago. He took off running through the alley and was nabbed by two policemen across the street. Guess they had the area staked out after last night. JIM (beginning to smile) They got him then and we got the money! (He reaches into the closet to drag the moneybag out and comes up empty-handed.) PAT (kissing the shillelagh) I think we got something more valuable than money out of this. JIM (feeling around on the top shelf) It's not here... MRS. PEABODY What? That old dirty bag you had stashed up there? I threw that out this afternoon when I finished cleaning. JIM (banging his head in despair) No...no... (A knock at the door draws their attention.) JIM (mouthing the words to Pat) He's back! PAT (waving the shillelagh at him) No match for this! (He opens the door to a policeman.) OFFICER Just wanted to thank you folks for all your help in getting the robber out into the open. MRS. PEABODY We were glad to do our civic duty, officer. JIM (relieved at the sight of authority in control) He's really gone, then? OFFICER Oh, yes. And we should have the money back after checking trash truck runs. Only one runs through this whole area. PAT (setting the shillelagh beside the couch) I'm just glad the whole thing's over. OFFICER Well, we'd like to finish the report downtown if you wouldn't mind accompanying me. MRS. PEABODY Come on, boys. I'll fix a late snack when we get back. JIM (brightening) That's worth staying up for. PAT (whispers to the shillelagh as they leave) Don't worry! I'm not selling you to anyone. (As the door closes behind them a faint wisp of green smoke changes to a dense cloud as an old man steps from the cloud.) ST. PATRICK Where are you, little one? (looks around the apartment quickly) Ah, there you are ... (picks up the shillelagh) Your work's done here. Time we moved on. (He whistles an Irish air as he walks to the front door. It opens by itself. He pauses to look both ways before venturing into the light.) ST. PATRICK (patting the shillelagh) A great many people need your help. (frowns slightly as he studies the inscription) But what they can't read ... they can't use. (EFX as he holds the shillelagh up and the Celtic inscription transforms into English. It reads: Wish in need, God's mercy receive (His face beams as he turns and vanishes into smoke.) EFX as smoke dissipates. MUSIC UP with theme as title appears, "The Cost of Higher Education". TITLE FADES. CAMERA MOVES THROUGH SMOKE into INT. Diner in a small town. Fairly busy lunchtime crowd is visible as an older waitress can be seen taking orders. A bus is visible through the front window, letting off a large crowd of high school children. CAROL (to cook) Billy Ray! You better get Cassie off her break. We got a load heading in. BILLY RAY (from the grill) Carol, she had a pick up at the post office. Won't be back for ten minutes. CAROL (glaring back) Maybe I need to pick up something for myself. (to herself) Like a last paycheck. CUT TO: Another angle as St. Patrick appears behind her at the empty table. He is dressed conservatively. ST. PATRICK Oh, no, my dear. You must think about your daughter. How would she be getting to college next year? CAROL (turning around, surprised to see him) How'd you get in here? And how'd you know Cynthia's going to college in the fall? ST. PATRICK (smiles back warmly) How does anyone learn anything in a small town? CAROL OK, enough about me (taps her notepad) You gonna order? ST. PATRICK I think you'll have plenty from them. (He nods toward the door as the teenagers pour in.) CAROL (watching the rush of customers) Got that right. Sometimes I wish there was another diner to handle them on field days. ST. PATRICK Now, now ... (taps the shillelagh against the table) Better be savin' a wish for your retirement! CAROL (laughs) That's something I'll never see! CUT TO: ANOTHER ANGLE as she turns back to find an empty table except for the shillelagh resting against it. CAROL Sir, if you're not gonna order ... (pauses to lift the shillelagh) Where'd he go? (She glances quickly around the diner as the children's voices drown out her thoughts. Carol shrugs and sets the shillelagh aside in a corner.) FADE TO: INT. of same diner, early evening. Carol is seen wiping off the counters as Billy Ray is clearing the register. BILLY RAY Guess you'll be heading home, huh? CAROL Yeah. I gotta get some alterations done on Cynthia's gown. Tomorrow's the big day. BILLY RAY (worried) You'll still be here half-day, right? CAROL Since you didn't give me the day off, guess I'll have to. BILLY RAY New girl be here next week for training. CAROL (continues straightening tables) Well, if she's anything like Cassie, I'll be doing it myself. BILLY RAY (assuring her) I spoke to her about all the breaks. She agreed to cut back. CAROL Uh, huh. I hear ya. (picks up the shillelagh) Wonder if he'll come back for this? BILLY RAY What's that? A cane? CAROL A walking stick for sure. I think it's called a shillelagh. BILLY RAY (drawling an Irish brogue) I used to own one of them. Wouldn't drive worth a darn in cold weather. CAROL Not a car name, Billy Ray. My uncle had one of these. Used to see it at his house every time we'd visit. BILLY RAY Well, you can't leave it here. Don't know how cured the wood is ... might have bugs. CAROL I'll take it with me. If the old guy shows up again, I'll just invite him over to get it back. BILLY RAY So that's how you get all your dates? CAROL (snaps back quickly) Don't even go there! DIFF ANGLE as she grabs her purse to leave. CAROL I'm outta here. See ya tomorrow. BILLY RAY Ok, bright and early, remember! You're taking half-day. CAROL Gotcha covered. (She leaves and heads for the parking lot. A man steps from the shadows between the buildings. Startled, Carol raises the shillelagh to defend herself.) CAROL (sternly) Back off! TJ Hey, Carol. Didn't mean to frighten ya! CAROL (visibly shaken) TJ, what are you doing here? TJ Remember the other day? You said you wanted to talk about the insurance policy. CAROL Yes, but not here. (looks around nervously) Too public... TJ We could go have a beer. Talk things over. CAROL Not a good idea. TJ (shrugs) Open for suggestions? CAROL My place. In about an hour. I got alterations to do on Cynthia's graduation gown anyway. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. TJ Sounds like a plan. WIPE TO: INT. Carol's apartment. Sparsely furnished but comfortable. Cynthia is idly flicking through TV cable channels as she chats on the phone. As Carol enters, she hangs up hurriedly locking the station in place for a documentary safari. CYNTHIA (into phone) Gotta run, she's here. (pretends to be absorbed by the program) Hi, Mom. How's it going? CAROL I'm fine. Did you get the makeup test done? CYNTHIA Coach Bryant said I passed with flying colors. CAROL So why couldn't you do it right the first time? Would have avoided a whole lot of trouble. CYNTHIA I'm graduating. Isn't that enough? I mean, it's not like Dad's gonna show up, right? CAROL Do we have to bring him into this? CYNTHIA I guess not. Considering he hasn't taken any interest in me since he left. CAROL I know, honey. I've tried to explain ... CYNTHIA Explain? (sterner) Explain what, Mom? He's the best collegiate football coach in the business. He takes time to watch every play. Counsel every player. Even maps out career goals to the last detail ... for somebody else. But his own daughter? I'm a throwaway. Probably wishes he'd never had me. CAROL You can't mean that. CYNTHIA (calmer) So now I'm graduating. And that should make a difference. CAROL I wrote and told him you'd finished. CYNTHIA (shocked) You did what? I can't believe you did that. I don't want him there. CAROL I just thought ... CYNTHIA You thought wrong. (Cynthia stomps off down the hall. The slamming of her bedroom door jars Carol back into routine. She grasps the shillelagh tightly.) CAROL Dear God, I wish there was some way to reconcile this family. (EFX as she sets the shillelagh down, unaware of a faint green glow that emanates briefly from the stick. She begins fixing a teapot of water and pulls out the graduation gown.) CAROL (to herself) Bill, how could you do this to your own daughter? She's so much like you it's scary. The same drive. Ambition. She could go far. Given the chance. But where am I gonna get that kind of money? (A knock sounds quietly at the door. Carol opens it to find TJ.) TJ I know you said an hour. Kinda figured we could cut through the business and get to the pleasure. CAROL Cynthia's in her room. Let's keep it business tonight, ok? TJ (disappointed) Fine. (starts spreading papers on kitchen table) I checked all the premiums. You're good to go on paper. All paid up. CAROL No problem with her collecting? TJ Guarantee it. CAROL Do I have to be in the car? TJ Nowhere near it. Like I told you last week ... I'll take care of the car leaving the pavement. All you have to do...is make sure you're on the red eye to San Diego. (sees her hesitation) If you can't go through with it, now's the time to tell me. CAROL I can do it. She's got to have the money for college. TJ (pointedly) You'll never see her again. CAROL Don't you think I know that? I'll miss everything in her life from this point forward, ... her dreams, her heartaches, her successes, her failures. Everything a mother needs to share with her daughter. I'll never have it. TJ Then why do it? CAROL Because it's her one chance to get what she wants out of life. And in getting that, my dreams for her will come true. TJ Then it's settled. Everything's set for tomorrow night. CAROL Her graduation night? It's too soon! I never said ... TJ (nods to her as he leaves) My advice to you is ... enjoy the next twenty four hours with her. And hey... look at the bright side. You won't be working in that dump of a diner ever again. (He leaves as she sinks slowly into a chair holding the graduation gown.) CAROL What have I done? (Cynthia reappears at the corner of the kitchen.) CYNTHIA Mom, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. CAROL (bravely holding back the tears) It's okay, honey. We all have our moments. CYNTHIA (brightening) And tomorrow at graduation, I don't care if Dad does show up. You're the only one I want there. CAROL (hugs her) Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say it. CYNTHIA (holding up the gown) Now, can we please get this done? I don't want to fall into the graduation speaker, getting my diploma. CAROL Even if the speaker was Ricky Martin? CYNTHIA (grins as she thinks) I might make an exception in that case. WIPE TO: INT. Diner. Early morning. Carol is absently going about her duties, glancing at the clock every few minutes. Billy Ray watches intently for several moments, then calls her behind the counter. BILLY RAY Hey, Carol. Let me see you a minute. CAROL What's up? I got those four tables to set before we open. BILLY RAY You don't look good. CAROL Thanks. BILLY RAY No, I mean ... heck, I don't know what I mean. We've worked together a long time, what .... ten, twelve years? CAROL At least. BILLY RAY You ain't focused. Like something's pulling on your mind. CAROL So now you're a psychiatrist? BILLY RAY I know what I see. And what I don't see is you paying attention to what you're doing. CAROL Well, maybe I shouldn't be doing it anymore? BILLY RAY So you're quitting? CAROL No, Billy Ray, I'm not. You know I got four more years to get my daughter through college. And you know you've got the only place in town for a washed up waitress. BILLY RAY Never said that. You're the best waitress in four counties. Probably the state. Maybe the country. I'm glad you're here. CAROL I don't believe it. A compliment from you? BILLY RAY (mellowing) You are good. CAROL There's always better. BILLY RAY (grins) And worse. CAROL Serious though, Billy Ray. You meant what you said about my work? BILLY RAY Yeah, but don't hold me to it for a raise. I got enough on me just keeping this place going. CAROL You depend on me, then? BILLY RAY If you didn't show up every day ... I'd be shoving the food in front of customers myself. CAROL I never thought about it that way. BILLY RAY Hey, if you can't depend on somebody, you got no business working with them. CAROL Thanks, Billy Ray. It's a lot to think about. FADE TO: EXT. High school football stadium. Mid-afternoon. Stands are filled with anxious parents and Carol is just getting seated hurriedly as the band starts playing. DIFF ANGLE as Cynthia waves from the football field where chairs are situated for the graduation. ANOTHER ANGLE as Carol waves back and then her attention is drawn to TJ standing by the entrance gate. He notices her and she knows he's checking to make sure she's following through on the plan. CAROL (to herself) God, give me strength to get through this. ANOTHER ANGLE as a hand taps her shoulder. BILL Maybe you could spread some of that strength around? She turns and registers shock at her estranged husband. CAROL Bill! I didn't think you'd make it. BILL My own daughter's graduation from high school? It's a big event, Carol. For all of us. CAROL Cynthia didn't want ... I mean ... BILL I know she didn't want me here. But if I hadn't come, the bridge between us would have been damaged beyond repair. CAROL It already is. BILL I suppose so from where you sit. CAROL Don't make a scene. BILL That's not why I'm here. CAROL You don't skip half your daughter's life. Then come waltzing back in for the grand finale. BILL (sterner) She's always thought of you as the hero, right? I'm not gonna dash her hopes. (looks around) I think my seat's on the other side. ANOTHER ANGLE as he leaves. TJ shoots her a dirty look, then vanishes back into the crowd. Carol manages to find a tissue in her purse to dab her eyes before the speaker begins the proceedings. CAROL (quietly) Cynthia was right. I should never have reminded him. SPEAKER Today, our graduating class faces many challenges... ZOOM TO CLOSEUP of Carol's eyes as she is viewing another high school graduation. Bill is receiving his diploma with honors. Carol watches as he leaves the dais and is hugged by his mother and younger version of herself. BILL Mother! (hugs her) (kisses Carol on the forehead) Carol, how nice of you to come. CAROL Your mother said it would be alright. MOTHER Yes, Bill. She's got something to tell you. BILL (evasive) Just think, Carol, next year you'll be walking up these same steps. CAROL I know this isn't the right time. And definitely not the way I wanted to tell you ... BILL Come on now. We can all talk later. CAMERA FOLLOWS as he tries to hurry her away but his mother's hand on his arm stops him cold. MOTHER This can't wait. BILL (smiling) Serious? On a day like today? CAROL We're gonna have a baby. BILL (eyes widening) You must be kidding! MOTHER This is not a joking matter, son. BILL Well, she's mistaken. It must be ... CAROL Oh, no ... it's yours...and mine. BILL (totally shocked) But my plans ... the university... MOTHER Plans change ... in their own way. FADE TO: EXT. Current graduation. Cynthia is seen walking across to receive her diploma. Carol awakens from her daydream long enough to snap a picture from her vantage point. ANOTHER ANGLE as Cynthia descends from the platform and Bill smiles at her in front of flashes going on around them. She freezes for a moment as he presses an envelope into her hand. BILL Congratulations, princess. I knew you could do it. CYNTHIA (controlling herself) Thanks, sir. CAMERA FREEZES on Bill's silhouette as Cynthia moves off into the crowd. WIPE TO: INT. Carol's apartment. Cynthia is preparing for a night on the town. Carol is battling her feelings over her last few moments with her daughter. CAROL You won't be too late? CYNTHIA
Copyright © 1985 Emmett O Saunders Iii |