Temple U (3) CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jim home with the kids. George is smashing his Tonka trucks together while Lorena holds her guinea pig, Crystal. LORENA (baby talk) You wuv me, don'cha Crystal? Yes you do. She turns to Daddy. LORENA (CONT'D) Where's Mommy? 62. JIM She had to go out for a little while. LORENA Why? JIM She needed private time. LORENA Private time? JIM Time to be by herself. LORENA Like when you're in the bathroom? The word "bathroom" gets George's attention, and he turns from his trucks to Daddy. JIM Kind of like that. GEORGE Maybe she had to poop. Lorena laughs as George makes fart sounds. Jim shakes his head. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Late at night, kids already in bed. Jim is watching TV when Tammy walks in. He turns the TV off as she sits down beside him. JIM Everything go OK? TAMMY Yes, we had a good time - dinner and a movie. We caught the late show. How were the kids? JIM The kids were fine. TAMMY Just so you know, Dan didn't even kiss me good night. You found a great guy for me, thank you. Tammy leans her head on Jim's shoulder. 63. TAMMY (CONT'D) Everything's OK, Jim. You're still my husband, and I still love you. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. CAR DEALERSHIP - LOT - DAY Jim and Dan, waiting for customers. JIM Listen, I appreciate you taking my wife out last night. If you wanna tell me what it all came to, I'd be happy to cover half. DAN Not a chance, Jim! Keep your money. JIM OK, well thank you. What movie did you see? Dan thinks for a moment. DAN You know, I don't even remember. Tammy picked it out, some chick flick. The important thing was, I was sitting next to this incredible woman. I got goose bumps, swear to god, like some geeky freshman in high school. JIM Great... DAN I know it must sound crazy. I mean, we only went out once, and of course I was the guy who said men are naturally polygamous and all that...but I'm different now - I feel different. I want to make this work, Jim. JIM I have to be honest, Dan. I'm having second thoughts. DAN Just keep an open mind. 64. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: INT. BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY MARILYN'S POV A young professional WOMAN, cute as a button, smiling at us - smiling at Marilyn Manson (off-screen). Behind her is a closed door. WOMAN Thank you so much for coming, Mr. Manson. You look fantastic. MARILYN (O.S.) When do we start filming? WOMAN Whenever you walk through this door. MARILYN (O.S.) You know, I can't go into the bathroom and masturbate to the Playboy when my girlfriend's on the cover and she's waiting in the bedroom. So that's very odd. The woman's smile fades into confusion. WOMAN Excuse me? MARILYN (O.S.) In three, two, one... INT. BUILDING - CLASSROOM - DAY Filming starts as the front door opens and Marilyn (lookalike, possible cameo) walks in, toward a small table before a large group of students. He is wearing his trademark makeup and black suit, and carrying the same black leather bag displayed in the opening scene. The students, taken completely off-guard, applaud as they (and we) see him face to face. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. GARDEN - DAY Eden - Adam and Eve are sitting together. EVE It's nice not having Steve around. 65. ADAM I still have feelings for him, Eve. I mean, I was very attracted to him before you came into the picture. He's still kind of attractive. EVE But you like me more, right? Adam smiles. ADAM Eve, you are without a doubt the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on. I do like you more. EVE And you like the idea of making love to me on a regular basis, right? ADAM Very much so. EVE Then let's go through with it. Let's get married. ADAM But what about Steve? EVE Forget about Steve. You can never be with him, so just move on. ADAM I guess you're right...you know, I still can't get over how different our bodies look. EVE I can't wait to finally see you naked. You know what I'd like to do to you? Adam shakes his head. Eve leans over and whispers in his ear. What Eve whispers clearly turns him on. GOD You know, I can still hear you. The moment has been ruined. GOD (CONT'D) Save it 'til after you're married. Can you both do that? ADAM Yes, God. 66. A pause as God waits for Eve, who clearly looks upset about her steamy encounter with Adam being interrupted. EVE Yes, God. GOD I'm watching you. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. GARDEN - DAY Adam, Eve and Steve are sitting together, quietly. It is a tense silence, finally broken by God. GOD This is supposed to be a happy place. STEVE How can I be happy when I can't even be with the one I love? GOD ...What about you, Adam? You and Eve are getting married soon. That's pretty exciting. STEVE Well, I'm not going. EVE No one invited you, anyway. GOD Quiet, both of you. I was talking to Adam. ADAM I don't really feel like talking right now. GOD You need to tell me what's on your mind. ADAM Not now, God. Please. GOD ...Very well. Eve, I want you and Adam to have a good life together. EVE Thank you. 67. GOD And Steve, you can either come to the wedding or stay away. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. STEVE I have no one. GOD ...I tell you what, if you want I'll let you conduct the ceremony yourself. You can even wear a big fancy robe. ADAM That's a good idea. STEVE I don't know... EVE Um, excuse me. Did anyone stop to think about what I want? GOD OK, what do you want? EVE I want Steve out of our lives for good. That way it can be just Adam and me. GOD Where should I have him go? EVE Anywhere but here. GOD I'm not going to do that. As long as he follows the rules, he's welcome here. STEVE She hates me, God. Maybe she feels threatened by me. EVE I don't hate you. I just want you somewhere else. GOD Look, no one's going anywhere. We're going to have the wedding, and everything's going to be just fine. Steve, if you want to perform the ceremony, we need to start practicing right away. 68. Looking menacingly at Steve, Eve grabs Adam's hand. EVE May I hold his hand, God? GOD By all means. C'mon, Steve. Eve smiles and waves her free hand at Steve. EVE Buh-bye. Defeated, Steve walks away. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. HOUSE - FRONT - DAY America - Lorena and George run ahead of their parents and knock on the front door of Tammy's grandpa and grandma's house. GRANDPA and GRANDMA answer the door and greet the kids with happy hugs. Jim and Tammy are also greeted with hugs. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE -LIVING ROOM - DAY Grandpa, grandma, Jim and Tammy are sitting together as Lorena and George run in wearing their swim suits. LORENA We're ready! TAMMY OK, be careful out there. LORENA We will. With that, she and George scamper off. GRANDPA They're such good kids. TAMMY Yes, they are. A little ornery... GRANDPA Of course! TAMMY But good. 69. GRANDPA We missed you on Easter, Jim. JIM I missed you, too. I wanted to be here. I just...couldn't. GRANDMA We know, Jim. JIM Tammy said you all had a nice time. GRANDPA It was very nice, the whole day. JIM Did you go to church? GRANDMA Oh yes, the same one we always go to. GRANDPA Wouldn't miss it for the world. TAMMY I remember that church. I went there with you a few times growing up. GRANDPA Yes, you did. TAMMY I never really understood what was going on, just that it was pleasant sitting there with you, Grandpa, watching Grandma in the choir and just...taking in everything. GRANDMA We loved having you. TAMMY I never told you this, but one time in college, I was visiting you. It was a weekday, I think a Friday. I left and was driving home alone, when I decided to stop by the church. GRANDMA That's nice, honey. TAMMY No one was there, so I went up to the front door. (MORE) 70. TAMMY (CONT'D) I thought it would be locked but it wasn't, so I went in...the place was empty, and I took a seat at one of the pews. Light was shining in through the stained-glass windows, and it was so quiet and peaceful...a perfect peace. GRANDMA What a lovely story. I also feel that peace. GRANDPA It's comforting to know we have someplace to look forward to after we die. CUT TO: EXT. HOUSE - BACK YARD - DAY Lorena and George, sitting together in a kiddy pool. LORENA SpongeBob is a cartoon character, George. Cartoons aren't real. GEORGE You're a boobie head. LORENA Oh, that's real intelligent. GEORGE SpongeBob is real. LORENA He's not real, OK? GEORGE He's real. LORENA Sponges can't talk, sponges can't walk. Sponges don't dance in their underpants. GEORGE I like Patrick. LORENA Anyway, what's two plus two? GEORGE Four! 71. LORENA Good, and what's two plus four? GEORGE Five! LORENA No, two plus four is six. GEORGE Six! Lorena holds out the two fingers of her left hand like a peace sign. LORENA Here's two fingers. Count my fingers. GEORGE One two. Lorena holds out four fingers on her other hand. LORENA Here's four more fingers - one two three four. GEORGE One two three four. LORENA Now count them all. GEORGE One two three four five six. LORENA So what's two plus four? GEORGE Six. LORENA By George, I think you've got it. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT It is dark in the room, but not so dark that we cannot see Jim and Tammy in bed lying face-up. TAMMY I want to sleep with him, Jim. JIM I don't know, Tammy. I mean, doesn't this seem a bit fast? 72. TAMMY Please, Jim. It's important to me. Give me your blessing. JIM It really means that much to you? TAMMY It does. Jim sighs. JIM OK. Tammy smiles, satisfied. She puts her arms around Jim and kisses him - softly at first, then harder and harder. TAMMY Fuck me, Dan. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: INT. BAR - NIGHT Same bar as before. On duty, Stacy sees Jim sitting alone and approaches. STACY Jim, good to see you. How've you been? JIM Hi, Stacy. STACY What can I get for you? JIM I was wondering if I could talk with you privately. STACY Sure...hold on. Stacy walks away, is gone briefly then returns. STACY (CONT'D) Follow me. CUT TO: EXT. BAR - NIGHT Jim and Stacy are now outside, behind the bar. 73. STACY What's on your mind? JIM ...I like you a lot, Stacy. STACY I like you, too. JIM And I don't want to lose your friendship. STACY You won't, as long as you're honest. JIM I need to ask you something before I lose my nerve altogether...Stacy, would you go out with me? STACY You mean out as in romantically? JIM Yes. STACY ...I want to Jim, I do. I've been thinking about you ever since we met. But Jim, you're married, and I don't date married guys. I'm sorry Jim, but we can only be friends. JIM My wife's already seeing someone. STACY Come again? JIM They're going out tonight to sleep together. And you'll never guess who it is...Dan. STACY You mean Dan as in...Dan? Jim nods. STACY (CONT'D) Jim, you have to put a stop to this. I'm telling you as a friend - end it now. JIM My wife and I have an arrangement. I agreed to it. 74. STACY Do you have children? JIM Yes. STACY How many? JIM Two. STACY What have you told them? JIM Nothing. STACY It's not right, Jim. You have to know that. Jim thinks about it, then nods. STACY (CONT'D) Save your family before it's too late. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jim walks in the front door just as Tammy walks into the room, dressed to kill. TAMMY Home so soon? I already called the sitter. JIM Tammy, we need to talk. The kids walk into the room. LORENA Hi, Daddy. JIM You and George go into the other room. LORENA What other room? JIM Any other room. Lorena turns sadly, grabs George's hand and leaves. 75. JIM (CONT'D) Thank you. No response. TAMMY So talk. JIM I don't want you going out with Dan. Tammy groans. TAMMY I knew it! I knew you were gonna cave like that. JIM It's not worth it, Tammy. Don't you still love me? TAMMY Yes, I love you. I love you very much, and I love the kids very much. But you know who I also love very much? Me, Jim. I love me, and I want to be happy. Maybe that sounds selfish, but I don't care anymore. I'm tired of being stuck here all day alone with the kids. I like going out with Dan. Dan makes me happy - you and him both. I want both of you. JIM You can't have both of us. TAMMY Why not? JIM Because I said so. It's either him or me. Which is it? At that moment, there is a knock on the door. Fazed by the question, Tammy walks over and answers the door - it's Dan. Dan looks confused by the sight of Jim but nonetheless extends his hand for a shake. DAN Hi, Jim. Jim doesn't take Dan's hand. Dan gets the point, lowering his hand and turning to Tammy. DAN (CONT'D) I like your dress. 76. TAMMY Thank you. An awkward moment, before Dan turns back to Jim. DAN Anyway take care, Jim. We'll be sure to use protection. JIM I think you need to leave, Dan - without Tammy. TAMMY Jim, please. JIM I'm serious. Dan, it's time to go. DAN Only if Tammy wants me to go. JIM (to Tammy) Tell him to go. DAN You always order your wife around? JIM Tell him to go! TAMMY I don't want him to go. JIM Tell him to go! DAN Let her make up her own mind. JIM You stay out of this! DAN Make me! With that, Jim takes a swing at Dan. Tammy and the children scream as the two men fall to the ground and tussle. TAMMY Stop it! Tammy runs up and pulls Jim off Dan, but not before both men are bloodied. 77. DAN Ask her how long we've known each other, Jim. Jim pauses, as Tammy turns white as a ghost. JIM How long, Tammy? Tammy has no response. JIM (CONT'D) How long? TAMMY Dan, how could you? DAN It's time he knew the truth. JIM How long? DAN Tell him. TAMMY Before the arrangement. JIM ...And you've already... DAN Slept together? Lots of times. Jim nods, resigning himself to the news. JIM Then that's it. It's over. TAMMY No, Jim. JIM It's all over. The marriage is over. Goodbye, Tammy. Jim turns and walks away as Lorena and George run up, screaming and grabbing his legs. Jim pushes them aside. JIM (CONT'D) Stay with Mommy, at least for now. TAMMY Jim, come back! I love you! I'll leave Dan! 78. JIM Too late. Jim leaves Tammy and the kids crying at the door. LORENA Daddy! CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A doorbell ringing at Stacy's house. Stacy answers the door. It is Jim, dried blood still on his face. STACY Oh, god! Jim, what happened? JIM May I come in? STACY Yes, of course. Jim walks in. JIM The marriage is over, Stacy. STACY Where is she? Is she all right? JIM She's fine. I was fighting with Dan. STACY This is crazy. JIM She was seeing him the whole time. STACY Before your little... JIM Arrangement. STACY So she was what, cheating on you? JIM Right. STACY A bit hypocritical, don't you think? 79. JIM But it's more than that. Tammy has genuine feelings for Dan. She demonstrated that tonight. Nothing I can say will change that. Nothing she can say will change that. I can't live with that, Stacy, so I'm leaving her. STACY You can't live with that? But it's what you wanted. JIM What I thought I wanted. STACY ...Do you have genuine feelings for me? JIM I do. STACY Can anything anyone says change that? JIM No. STACY Do you have genuine feelings for your wife? JIM Yes. STACY Can anything anyone says change that? JIM No. STACY Then screw it. You want to sleep with me, sleep with me - her and me both. Jim smiles, the first time in a while. JIM Both of you? STACY Sure, why not? Jim pauses, then kisses Stacy. 80. STACY (CONT'D) Give peace a chance. Give love a chance. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Dan is sitting with an ice pack over his eye, while Tammy attempts futilely to comfort her children. The front door opens, and Jim comes in. Stacy is with him. He drops to his knees as the kids run crying into his arms. LORENA AND GEORGE Daddy! JIM It's OK, it's OK...I'm home. Dan takes off his ice pack. Stacy speaks to him with mock disgust. STACY Dirty bastard. Dan groans, putting the ice pack back on. TAMMY I'm really sorry, Jim. Please forgive me. I don't want to be with Dan anymore. Jim stands, releasing himself from his kids and focusing on his wife. JIM Yes, you do. TAMMY I don't! JIM You do! You were very direct about it. You want two men in your life...and I'm OK with it. Stacy takes Jim's hand, and they turn to each other. STACY We're OK with it. TAMMY You are? Dan takes the ice pack back off, this time to stay. He and Tammy look quizzically at Jim and Stacy. 81. DAN What are you saying? Jim turns back to Tammy. JIM What I'm saying, Tammy, is that maybe I never really gave our arrangement a fair shot. Maybe we should at least try it out before giving up on our marriage. Tammy breaks into a wide grin. TAMMY Really? JIM Really. Overjoyed, Tammy runs up to Jim, jumping into his arms. Jim lets go of Stacy, so he can hold his wife. TAMMY I love you I love you I love you! Happiness everywhere as Jim looks down at his kids, now clinging to his legs. JIM Mommy and Daddy are going to go out with other people sometimes. LORENA I don't care. JIM To spend the night. LORENA I don't care! JIM And we won't have as much money anymore, because I'm quitting the car business and going back into construction. LORENA I don't want money. I want you. GEORGE I want Daddy! Jim and Tammy laugh. TAMMY I can't believe it! 82. JIM Believe it. Jim and Tammy kiss. A long, wonderful kiss. JIM (CONT'D) I don't want to lose you, Tammy. TAMMY Then never leave me again. JIM Unless it's with Stacy. Tammy laughs. TAMMY As long as you come back. JIM Deal. Another kiss. Tammy turns to Dan. TAMMY Dan, I'm sorry but you're gonna have to take a rain check. Tonight, I'm with my husband. Dan nods, smiling. DAN I'm holding you to that. More kisses between husband and wife. TAMMY (to Jim) Welcome home. As Jim and Tammy cuddle, Stacy turns quizzical. STACY Hey, wait a minute. What about Dan and me? TAMMY What about you? STACY Who else can we be with? Jim and Tammy pause. They hadn't thought of that. JIM I don't know...maybe you can be with each other. I mean, if you like each other. 83. Dan and Stacy pause, then size each other up. DAN (to Stacy) I don't know, what do you think? STACY I think you better get over here and kiss me. Dan walks up to Stacy, and they kiss. It is a passionate kiss, and the family applauds. As Dan and Stacy pull away, he winks at her. DISSOLVE TO: INT. BUILDING - CLASSROOM - DAY Marilyn Manson stands beside the table before the stillapplauding class. On the table is his black bag. Behind him on the blackboard is written "Mr. Manson." Above the blackboard is a large banner with the words "Temple University." MARILYN Thank you. A STUDENT raises her hand. Marilyn calls on her. MARILYN (CONT'D) Yes? STUDENT So what does it mean, going back and forth between the two stories like that? MARILYN Don't forget Jessica's cold sore. Scattered chuckles. STUDENT Exactly. MARILYN It means whatever you think it means. For some, it won't mean anything at all. STUDENT That's it? MARILYN That's it. Marilyn pauses briefly before reaching into his bag and pulling out a bottle. 84. MARILYN (CONT'D) Can I share a bottle of red absinthe with you? All is quiet as he sets his bottle down on the table. MARILYN (CONT'D) I brought enough for everyone. A student named KAREN raises her hand, and Marilyn calls on her. MARILYN (CONT'D) What's your name? KAREN Karen. MARILYN Nice to meet you, Karen. Let me just say that from now on, no one needs to raise his or her hand to talk. The only rule with talking is don't interrupt - it's rude, OK? A few nods. MARILYN (CONT'D) Good. Now Karen, what did you want to say? KAREN Well, I just thought you should know that many of us, myself included, aren't legally old enough to drink alcohol. You could get in trouble, and so could we. MARILYN That's a good point. Yes, I know there are risks involved, but I accept those risks. I'm inviting you to accept them with me. From the back of the room, a student named JERROL interjects. JERROL That's stupid. More chuckles. MARILYN And your name is? JERROL Jerrol. Listen man, you gotta be careful with that shit. (MORE) 85. JERROL (CONT'D) You think just 'cause we're young, we don't know what absinthe is. That shit's illegal, dog. MARILYN Jerrol, I never assumed that because you're young, you don't know what absinthe is. You're the one assuming here, not me. If you want to call the police, go right ahead but understand this, I was only trying to be nice. JERROL That's not nice! MARILYN Thank you, Jerrol. Anyone else? A student in front named BILL. BILL ...Hi, I'm Bill. MARILYN Hi, Bill. BILL I just wanted to say...it's not stupid. MARILYN I appreciate the sentiment Bill, but I'm not really concerned about whether people think what I do is stupid. Jerrol thinks it was stupid, and that's fine. You think it wasn't, and that's fine too. We all have our opinions. The problem is not that we disagree, but that we live in a society where expressing unpopular views is discouraged, and even censored - right here in America, land of the free. BILL May I have a glass? Marilyn smiles. MARILYN Why yes, of course. Marilyn prepares two glasses of absinthe, hands one to Bill and keeps the other for himself. They drink together. 86. MARILYN (CONT'D) Back to Adam and Eve. Let's see, where was I? Ah yes, the wedding. As always, it was a beautiful day in the Garden of Eden. Over Marilyn's last sentence, the sound of an organ beginning "The Wedding March." DISSOLVE TO: EXT. GARDEN - DAY Eden - as the music continues, we find ourselves at an outdoor wedding. Steve, as the priest, looks every bit the part. Before him is Adam (in a groom's tuxedo), and both are awaiting Eve, who is coming down the aisle. Once Eve is beside Adam, the organ stops. Bride and groom turn toward Steve and wait for him to begin the ceremony. But Steve is silent, until God offers to help. GOD Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today- STEVE I know the words. GOD Then let's go. More silence. GOD (CONT'D) I'm getting tired of waiting. EVE Spit it out, Steve. Steve slowly shakes his head. STEVE I can't. GOD Steve...this marriage is going forward whether you like it or not. Steve looks longingly at Adam. STEVE It doesn't have to. EVE Yes, it does. ADAM She's right, Steve. 87. Steve's eyes moisten. STEVE Don't do this to me, Adam. ADAM I don't have a choice. STEVE Yes, you do have a choice! You're just making the wrong one! Damn you! With that, Steve turns and runs away. Adam wants to run after him. ADAM Steve! Eve grabs him by the arm. EVE Let him go, Adam. Marry me. GOD Steve will be fine. I can do the ceremony myself. Let's continue, shall we? Dearly beloved, we are- ADAM I need to go after him. Please, it'll only take a minute. EVE Don't you dare. ADAM It'll only take a minute. GOD Don't do it, Adam. Adam runs after Steve. EVE Come back! Adam does not come back. In a rage, Eve screams. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. GARDEN - DAY Adam walks over and sits beside a despondent Steve. 88. ADAM I hate to see you like this. STEVE I hate to be like this. ADAM I do care about you, you know. STEVE But only as a friend. ADAM The dearest friend a guy could ever have. Adam takes Steve's hand. ADAM (CONT'D) Are you my friend? Crying, Steve falls into Adam's arms. Adam tries to comfort Steve, rubbing Steve's back. ADAM (CONT'D) Be my friend, Steve. Be my friend. EVE (O.S.) How touching. Eve walks into view. She is naked again, and she is holding a piece of fruit. She has a strange way about her, as if she has just seen a vision. Adam and Steve separate and stand, bewildered. EVE (CONT'D) That was pretty gay, Adam. STEVE Why are you naked, and what's that in your hand? It looks like the forbidden fruit. GOD It is the forbidden fruit. She ate it, and now she's just like the serpent who tempted her. Don't listen to a word she says. EVE God said we would die if we ate it. I believed him. But guess what, he lied. GOD I never lied. You will die, just not at this moment. 89. EVE So what else has he lied about? Did he lie when he said we had to be married before we could fuck? GOD She's evil, Adam. STEVE An evil skanky bitch. Eve sets the fruit down and grabs a thick stick. EVE (To Steve) What did you call me? Steve's anger toward Eve becomes fear as she approaches. STEVE Stop her, God. ADAM Eve, no! EVE Hey, batter batter batter. Swing! Eve swings the stick like a bat, only Steve's head is the ball. Steve hits the ground with a thud, after which Eve proceeds to beat him mercilessly. ADAM Stop it! EVE Is this what it means to die, God? Is this what you were talking about? When she is finished, Eve casually tosses the stick aside. EVE (CONT'D) Punk ass. Adam rushes to Steve's side. ADAM Steve, can you hear me? Say something. EVE He's dead, Adam. Deal with it. ADAM Is he really dead, God? GOD ...Yes. 90. ADAM Why didn't you save him? EVE 'Cause God hates fags. GOD Enough! Eve, I want you out of my garden now! A ball of smoke. Two bouncer-type angels appear, standing rigid. GOD (CONT'D) Go with the angels. Eve never takes her eyes off Adam. EVE Now God can have you all to himself. Obsessive to the end. ADAM Don't take her, God. GOD You don't need her, Adam. You only need me. It'll be just like old times. Eve picks up the fruit and holds it out to Adam. EVE Try it, you'll like it. GOD Leave it alone, Adam. EVE Or what, will he die too? GOD Angels, take Eve away. Eve sets the fruit back down just before the angels get to her. EVE Adam, eat the fruit. GOD Tell Eve goodbye. ADAM Please God, no. Eve goes willingly, an angel on each side. 91. EVE Eat the fruit and fuck me. ADAM I love you! EVE Eat the fruit and fuck God. Suddenly, Adam picks up the fruit and takes a big bite. Eve and the angels stop in their tracks and turn around, unsure what to do next. All is silent, except for the sound of Adam slowly, calmly chewing his food. Eve smiles. EVE (CONT'D) Pretty good, huh. Adam returns a smile then devours the rest of his fruit, tossing the core to the ground and wiping the juice off his chin. ADAM Time to get naked. As Adam strips, God expresses his genuine sadness. GOD You were everything to me, Adam. All I wanted was your love. ADAM You gave me a choice, and I made my choice. Adam removes the last of his clothes and stands beside Eve. ADAM (CONT'D) I choose Eve. GOD ...You two should be going now. EVE We were just on our way. GOD Sinners! Adam reaches out to Eve. ADAM Ready? Eve takes his hand. EVE Ready. 92. Adam, Eve and the angels leave, and all is quiet until we hear the voice of the serpent. SERPENT (O.S.) Looks like you owe me five bucks. GOD Go to hell! CUT TO BLACK. The Paris Hilton impersonator. PARIS (O.S.) That's hot. CUT IN: CLOSING CREDITS FADE TO BLACK.
Copyright © 2005 William Wright |