The Brain Tumor (2) Then a very odd thing happened in me. Part of me felt impressed by these companies, but another part of me felt completely overwhelmed with disgust. I tried to figure out what I was feeling. There I was, sitting in my comfortable, air conditioned office, objectively picking out companies. I dealt with each one with a convenient ticker symbol consisting of a few letters. That's all companies were to me. Ticker symbols. I wasn't trading companies, I was trading ticker symbols, just like kids trade baseball cards. The fate of all these corporate giants rests in these little ticker symbols I easily and thoughtlessly trade in and out of everyday, along with many greedy investors, foaming at the mouth, with dollars signs flashing in their eyes. Another part of me was thinking about these companies on a very different level. I pictured myself working at one of these jobs for forty years, trying to support my family, just to be laid off and left without a job for several years, eventually losing my family, living on the street, and falling into drug addiction to try to cope with it all. I thought about the janitors who work for minimum wage. Nobody notices them as they quietly clean the shit out of the toilets. I thought about how many of these companies have moved many of their expendable operations overseas to take advantage of cheaper labor. I imagined myself one of these people working for less than poverty wages, fourteen hours a day in extremely unhealthy conditions. "Who supports all these companies?" I asked myself. "How do they meet their bottom lines?" "Well," I said, "sick people support the pharmaceutical company, the children support the toy company, teenage girls and gullible women support the fashion company, war supports the defense industry, and peoples' unending obsession with entertainment, gossip, and celebrities supports the media company." "What would happen to the economy if these companies lost their consumers?" I asked myself. I know enough about the stock market to answer that one. "You only need a few companies, just a few," I said, "to have significant revenue losses before there's a snowball effect and the entire economy goes into recession. If too many companies suffer from major revenue losses, then we're talking economic meltdown, a depression or even worse. All these people have worked their entire lives and have invested for their retirement in funds like mine. Nobody wants to see the economy collapse. Nobody." Then I glanced over at the television, loudly blaring CNBC as usual. It's no wonder that everyday, the television is covered with talking heads, debating the direction of the economy. We need more consumer spending, they urge. We need more growth, they demand, less government policies and more corporate activity. The rest of the news, of course, is filled with all the problems. Problems like the one Elizabeth experienced first hand. People love that stuff. They eat it up. They talk about how awful it is, but inside they really love it. They love to see other people suffering because it keeps their minds off their own suffering. "But why?" I asked. "Why is everything like this? Why can't we just change how we live and just stop suffering?" I looked down again at the prospectuses, glanced over all their bragging about consistent growth and shrewd business practices used by the management. "The economy requires constant growth at all costs," I said to myself. "Otherwise, the economy collapses and people lose their retirement savings. This growth has to come from somewhere." I became flooded with realization, and I immediately jumped out of my chair, threw all of the prospectuses in the garbage and drove to Elizabeth's house as fast as I could, never to return to that job again. "It all makes sense now!" I told her. "I understand it. I know why there's so much suffering in our culture." "Okay," she said, "calm down and have a seat." But I couldn't keep the thoughts from pouring out of me. It was like a flood, like a dam had broken, and all of these ideas were pouring out. Before I even made it to the chair, I started rambling about it all. "Consider the pharmaceutical industry," I told her. "The body has tremendous self-healing powers, yet the medical industry pays very little attention, instead resorting to invasive approaches which end up costing even more. This isn't because it's healthier for people, but because they need to grow their revenues and there's more money in sickness than there is in health. "What would happen if people learned to use their body's innate healing powers? The pharmaceutical companies' revenues would drop, dragging the economy into a recession, and hurting everyone's retirement savings. People want sick people because the economy depends on it. "We don't need a conspiracy theory to find a bunch of guys standing around in an office plotting new and creative ways to exploit people. There are millions of them. They're called marketers. Toy companies and fashion companies pay them billions of dollars every year so they can learn how to more effectively manipulate children. Hundreds of years ago, children were in the job market in their mid-teens. Then they needed a high school diploma. Eventually, college was no longer a luxury but a requirement. Now for most professions, a Masters degree or Ph.D is almost a necessity. As time went on, more and more kids spent more and more money and less and less kids were entering the job market. "What would happen if the schools succeeded in providing a decent education, allowing kids to enter the job market after high school instead of going to college and running up thousands of dollars in student loans and credit card debt? Not only would there be more unemployment caused by all of these new young people in the job market, but many companies' revenues would drop, dragging the economy into a recession, and hurting everyone's retirement savings. People want kids to get a poor education because the economy depends on it. The goal of schools is not to educate people, but to stall them, to waste their time. "People talk about how they wish there was less violence and more love, less war and more peace, but this is just to console themselves for their real desires. What would happen if there was less violence, and less war? The defense and security industries would suffer major revenue losses, dragging the economy into a recession, and hurting everyone's retirement savings. People want war, they need war, and they need violence, because the economy depends on it." Poor Elizabeth just sat there nodding patiently, trying to take this all in, as I continued with my onslaught of realization. "People complain about hunger and starvation," I continued. "The odd thing is, food is everywhere. It's on the trees and in the animals. Every single living thing is food. Yet we all get our food from the grocery store or restaurant. We have to pay a lot of money for it. Isn't it strange to spend so much money on something that is everywhere? The food industry is terribly inefficient, shipping in a lot of things from other places, then shipping all that somewhere else to be processed, then shipping all that somewhere else to be packaged, then shipping that somewhere else to be distributed. This employs a lot of people, and the more inefficient the acquisition of food becomes, the more revenues. "What would happen if people learned to get food themselves, either being more self-sufficient or at least getting their food exclusively from local sources? The food and transportation industries would suffer major revenue losses, dragging the economy into a recession, and hurting everyone's retirement savings. People want hunger and starvation. People need to keep food locked up. They need to keep it expensive, exotic, and inefficient. They need this because the economy depends on it. "In a way, the worst offender of all is the entertainment and media industries, because their job is to trivialize all of this, to make it easier for us to swallow those eight hours a day or more, to placate our own suffering. In the past, revolution and civil unrest were major concerns when there was a few people at the top enjoying the fruits of everyone's labor. But now all these people are under control, because instead of thinking about how miserable they are, they talk about football scores, the latest tragedy on the news, the state of the economy, what celebrity is marrying or divorcing which other celebrity, and who the president is sleeping with. It reminds me of a book I read in college called Brave New World, where people are controlled not by repression but by their own fickle obsession with trivialities. "What would happen if people switched off the television and threw away their magazines, stopped ingesting sports trivia, celebrity gossip, and tragic news events? First of all, they would start thinking. They would start focusing on themselves and their own dreams and desires. They would also more easily get fed up with working like slaves at jobs they hate, and they'd start demanding better for themselves. There are a few people in this country with a lot of money and a lot of power. What do such people get when billions of people start demanding better for themselves? Trouble. Not only that, but if people switched off the televisions and threw away their magazines, the media companies would suffer major revenue losses, dragging the economy into a recession, and hurting everyone's retirement savings. Our economy and our leaders both depend on keeping people from thinking about meaningful things. "It's also important for the growth of our economy to separate people as much as possible. Keep people from sharing. Put a television in every home, or maybe three or four or fifteen. Everyone has their own books, tools, furniture, and even their own home. For a social life, they have sitcoms. People live alone more than ever now. Like you and I. And we hate it. Something feels wrong about it. Like we're missing something. So we go out and buy stuff or we work non-stop at our jobs, trying to fill that space, but it never gets filled, so we just have to buy more and work more. Our species has evolved tribally. It is not natural for us to be so alone. If you asked any one person if they're unhappy and why, they'd probably tell you it's because they're lonely. Loneliness is the single biggest reason given for suicide. "A lot of people complain about how ruthless and corrupt corporations and government have become. They act as if it's the obligation of corporate executives and politicians to act nobly, to look out for the best interest of the masses, and to do what's best for all. Yet capitalism is based on the assumption that people only care about themselves. It's used to convert pure greed, self-interest, and ruthless competition into innovation and growth. At its very core, it rewards corruption, ruthlessness, and greed, and punishes caring and cooperation. People have become so used to this that they assume that people are like this by their very nature, that they're somehow fundamentally flawed. There's nothing wrong with people; there's something wrong with our assumptions about people, and the economic, social, and cultural systems we've built around these assumptions. "One more nasty safety precaution the politicians and corporations have put into place is capitalist propaganda. They set capitalism and communism against one another, showed the atrocities found in socialist regimes, and persecuted anyone whom they suspected might have communist leanings. What's left is the assumption that non-capitalism equals communism. Yet socio-economic theories are innovations. I'd hate to see what sort of inventions engineers would come up with if they thought they only had the choice between two old, tired, and proven-ineffective inventions from the past. They probably wouldn't invent anything new at all, much like our culture is doing socio-economically. "It is possible to live without all this suffering. Humans have done it in the past. For over 90% of the time humans have been on this planet, they lived without rampant crime, rape, exploitation, and environmental degradation. If we did it then, we can do it now. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with people. There's something wrong with this particular social innovation. It would be interesting to see what would happen if we started innovating again. First, we have to get people to start thinking again. Then, we need to deal with our fear of recessive economic conditions. We don't need to destroy our economy, overthrow it with a new regime, or change the laws to force people to live in a different way. If we don't like something, all we have to do is walk away from it." Elizabeth and I both continued sitting there for several minutes, trying to digest everything I just said. Finally, she stood up slowly and gave me a warm hug, and kissed me passionately. "I love you," she said, and that was all she needed to say. Over the next few months, I wasn't talking to myself as much anymore. I began to miss those little conversations I had with myself. I started wondering what the hell happened to me. For years, I was a sharp economist and dedicated mutual fund analyst, obsessed with professionalism and business etiquette. Then I get this cancer and within months, I'm thinking about birds, biology, philosophy, and finally socio-economic theories. My next mental project was to figure what had happened. It didn't take me long. Within minutes, I was right back to talking to myself again. "What's wrong?" I asked myself. "What am I becoming?" I asked myself. "You are becoming merged," I answered. This conversation is getting way too bizarre. "Merged with what?" I asked. "I was protecting us, you know," I said. "Us?" I asked. "Us," I said. "You and your so-called brain tumor. At first we were separate, and now we are merging. I have learned from you and you have learned from me. Now we are becoming one and the same." "Huh?" I said, feeling rather insane. "I was protecting us from the radiation," I said. "After I felt the radiation striking your brain, I spread myself out to protect it. You are my host, and it's my instinct to protect you from harm." I was amazed by what was coming out of my mouth. "Uh, my host?" I asked. Instead of answering, I said, "I was shocked to find out that a medical treatment among your people is to fire radiation into the brain. How barbaric. You hadn't even learned what amazing tools your bodies have evolved for healing itself. Instead, you choose to kill both your ailments and yourselves. That's amazing." Before I could ask, I started talking again. "Your people have been a very interesting study for me, and I appreciate you leading me through it. Above all, I learned that the people of your culture are very self-important and self-centered, a sign of primitive evolution, but I've noticed some steps leading past this. "The point your species is at is like a turning point, where you're becoming self-aware, and you don't know how to handle it responsibly yet. You're just smart enough to be dangerous to yourselves and your environment. There was once a species like yours in our legacy. It became so smart at manipulating its environment, but not smart enough to understand all the intricate interconnections they were effecting. They were on the verge of destroying themselves. We really respect that species because it changed its path before it was too late. Once this happened, it paved the way for other species to evolve. Your species is now in the position to provide such a legacy to future species. "One aspect of a self-centered culture is the assumption that they're the center of the universe, and the reason why the entire universe was made. Your people are just now starting to suspect this isn't true. Another aspect of a self-centered culture is the assumption that they're alone in the universe. Once you tackle this one, there will be a final assumption you'll need to tackle. "The final assumption is that if there is life on other planets, then it will look and live like you. Otherwise, you won't call it 'intelligent life.' Once you grow out of this, you'll realize that you have thousands of alien species already living among you. There are molds, bacteria, and unicellular organisms that have traveled from other planets. There are also species that have evolved far past the stage that humans find themselves at now, but of course they don't look or live like you so nobody recognizes them. I am from such a species." I sat there shocked. I have an alien living inside of me. I was just waiting for some monster to jump out of my stomach like in the movies. "Don't worry," I said, "I won't jump out of your stomach like in the movies." "I appreciate that," I said, laughing. "As you can see," I said, "we share the same brain. We can share thoughts, and you may have noticed that our thoughts have become more and more merged as time went on. Once we are merged, you won't think of me as a separate tumor, but just yourself. This merging is an ability that my species has evolved. You may have noticed in our study of biology that as species evolve, their brains tend to grow larger. Biologists even use this as a gauge to see how evolved a species is. What do you think would happen as a species evolves more and more?" "The brain would get bigger and bigger?" I asked. "Precisely. Eventually, the species' brain would become so advanced that it is able to control, interact with, and communicate with its environment with its thoughts and the need for a physical body will evolve away. Your species has a very small amount of this ability already, but it will take a long time before you learn how to use it. Some of you have scratched the surface, but most think such people are nuts. They're not nuts, just more advanced than everyone else. That's how it usually goes. "Of course there is always the requirement of feeding, of finding nourishment. My species has evolved in the same way many organisms on your planet have evolved, by attaching itself to and feeding off of another living organism. People of your culture hate this. It's as if they don't like giving other organisms a free ride. The truth is, everything feeds on everything else. This is simply one adaptation for doing so. We find a host and feed on them. That is what I have done with you." "I appreciate that," I said sarcastically. "I know you do," I replied seriously. Two years after I married Elizabeth, I realized that I haven't talked to myself for a very long time. In fact, I don't remember the last time I talked to myself. It was definitely over a year. I wondered if it happened, if I became merged with the alien tumor. "Hello?" I said, wondering if I'd get a reply. "Hello? Hello?" Nothing. I'm kind of relieved. I feel like a whole person again. I don't feel like I'm insane anymore. On the other hand, I kind of miss all those conversations with my old buddy, the brain tumor. --- For other stories and recommended reading, check out: http://www.prepense.org/
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